for people who need help

Can ya believe that about a month ago I nearly ended it? Now I’m about to go and talk to my (first ever) therapist about all the things that have recently happened that is making my life worth living. Life’s weird, ya guys. Thanks for not giving up on me!

It’s Thanksgiving.

Today, I’m thankful. I am so, incredibly thankful. I know I’ve had a privileged life, and I’m thankful for

  • The money, food, and home that I’ve never had to worry about
  • The family that loves me unconditionally
  • The support system around me full of people here to make my life better and easier
  • The “fully functional” brain and body that I’ve been blessed with
  • The trailblazers that have come before me, clearing the path for me to be my truest self without ever facing the threat to my life that they did
  • The inspiring people this world has to offer

But one thing I will never, ever be thankful for, is those goddamn Puritans on some rickety ship, praising themselves for starting a colony on someone else’s land.

I hope that we, as a people, never give up giving thanks and giving help to those who need it, but I also hope that we never forget what the Native Americans went through in the name of this country.

12 Reasons Why Old Souls Have Such A Hard Time Finding Love

1. They have a strong sense of identity.

They know who they are, which means they also know – specifically – what they do and do not want in a partner, what works and what doesn’t. While this is fantastic in terms of being able to choose wisely, it ultimately diminishes their pool of prospects pretty significantly.

2. Left unchecked, their hyper-intuitiveness can wreck relationships.

Often prone to overthinking because of how deeply sensitive they are, their capacity to worry and make assumptions can break relationships that don’t have a perfectly strong foundation.

3. Many are in the throes of twin flame relationships.

They’re attached or are with people who are not their “forever” people, rather, intense connections they’re meant to learn, and rapidly expand, from.

4. They often have a greater purpose that must be attended to first – one that love would distract them from.

They usually have to accomplish quite a bit on their own before they find love – this is because old souls love deeply, and completely. To be given love too soon would keep them from the other important things they are here to do.

5. They will not settle for anything less than soulmate love.

They require a lot more than just a surface-level, “average” relationship. They absolutely will not settle, and sometimes, that means biting the bullet and being alone for longer than what’s “average” as well.

6. While many people can bring them passion, few can bring compatibility.

Because they feel so deeply and others find them so fascinating, it’s easy for them to find infatuation, but to be with someone who is truly their best friend, deepest confidant *and* lover is a challenge.

7. They’re less inclined to go out and meet people in modern ways.

Even if they have nothing against online dating, it doesn’t always come naturally for them, nor does finding a random hookup at a bar or being set up blindly seem appealing.

8. They’re natural healers, and often attract people who need help, not love.

And that attraction is reciprocated. There’s almost nothing that feels better to an old soul than being able to help someone who truly needs it. However, at some point in time, it’s crucial for them to realize that they have to choose a partner, not a student, or a charity case.

9. They dislike the “game.”

Dating is inherently exhausting to an older-spirited person. Feigning disinterest for the sake of looking “cool” or knowing which faux pas other people find off-putting (how long after the first date do you text again?) isn’t instinctive to them, and can stress them out more than they ever find it “fun.”

10. Their standards are sky-high.

They expect a lot from themselves, so likewise, they expect a lot from their partners. While this is a great thing, it’s another quality that has to be kept in check: it’s more important to be able to accept the qualities that aren’t deal-breakers than it is to just write a person off because they’re imperfect.

11. They have baggage.

People who developed their inner selves quickly did so for a reason: they had to cope, they had to grow, or they had to learn from some challenging experiences that life set up for them. While this is a great thing on its own, unresolved issues can often re-manifest in close relationships.

12. They feel fear as intensely as they feel love.

The degree to which they love something is proportionate to how much they fear losing it, or not being “good enough” for it. They don’t just love intensely, they feel everything else intensely, too, and sometimes, that gets in the way of the really good things in front of them.

Can’t go to Interactive Introverts because your parents said no/will say no? This is for you!

Hello everyone, my name is Paige, and I am really freaking good at convincing parents of things. I grew up with two very strict and overprotective (though loving and awesome) parents, and so I’ve had the perfect life experience to give you this advice. Buckle up.

Are you a fan of Dan and Phil, who is super excited about their oncoming tour, Interactive Introverts, but your parents won’t let you go? Here is how to convince them you should. (Most of these also work for other special trips, such as going to a concert.)

Please reblog this so it can reach all the people who need it :D

Step-by-step guide under the cut!

Keep reading

a reminder

that theres nothing “neurotypical” about saying that “your mental illnesses are no excuse to be toxic and to abuse/manipulate your friends/partners”

and yes, this applies no matter your circumstances lmao you dont get a free out of jail card because your unhealthy behavior is caused by symptoms - if someone tells you that your behavior is hurting them or you YOURSELF realize that your relationships arent healthy on your part, its on YOU to

1) communicate with the other person to try to work around it, so that you can see whether your needs are compatible with what theyre capable of giving you in terms of friendship/partnership.
sometimes needs are incompatible, and sometimes relationships dont work out despite mutual (platonic or romantic) affection because there are too many factors that make the relationship more harmful than beneficial - even if its harmful only to one party.

in a relationship, it’s the responsibility of both people to make sure that there is enough communication and safety for people to establish boundaries and voice their needs so that theyre heard. voicing needs doesnt mean that they HAVE to fulfill them even at the cost of their own wellbeing; it means compromising and discussing what can be done so that the relationship isnt draining for either party.

2) apologize for hurting them, take accountability and look into resources to change your behavioral patterns (if it’s a persisting thing). google is your friend. talk with a school counselor/therapist/etc if you have one available for you.
go to a library, see if theres any books on mental health and relationships that might help you out. there ARE resources for mentally ill people and for people who need help at unlearning toxic behaviors caused by trauma or other similar factors. Use them.

trying to opt out of responsibility because your hurtful behavioral patterns are caused by trauma/mental illness is you excusing your toxic and/or abusive behavior and is incredibly unhealthy not only to you but people around you.
it should be obvious why that’s not something the ND tumblr should encourage.

we need to be better and STOP protecting abusers and excusing abusive/toxic behavior under the guise of “mental health positivity/acceptance”

u ever like cry about how percy uh became friends with tyson and defended him from bullies even though like tyson was kinda dirty and didn’t smell great and cried a lot and percy’s own reputation directly suffered from being friends with him…..and he met him at the subway at the same time every morning so tyson wouldn’t get agitated and stands guard by his stall so tyson doesn’t feel uncomfortable changing for PE and even after he gets publicly humiliated by poseidon claiming tyson he’s embarrassed but he still defends tyson so much that he yells at annabeth for badmouthing him………and then u find out that tyson PRAYED for help and poseidon just uh sent percy and didn’t even have to tell him to do anything bc percy is just so Good and cares So Much that it’s instinctual for him to defend people who need help….:

How to Attract the Signs

ARIES:

Let Aries know that you admire them, they thrive of admiration and followers. Let them know that you love their zest for life and that you find them intriguing, they love compliments more than most other astrology signs of the zodiac.

Compliment them physically and mentally, they like conversations about intellectual topics and engage them in a lively discussion, or a friendly debate. They love the challenge and the stimulation of good, intelligent conversation. Ask them for advice, let them know that you look up to them.

Remember, Aries is the first sign of the zodiac and the most forward and independent, they love followers. Do not be a push over, do not keep your opinions to yourself because Aries will quickly get bored if you agree with everything they say. Do not attempt to control them however, they do not like taking orders. Aries are very capable people so if you go with their plans, you are sure to have a good time! If they have a suggestion for something to do, go with the flow, they like to be in control of what goes on.


TAURUS:

Do not attempt to rush into a relationship with Taurus. They are very patient and expect you to be so too. Make them laugh, if they are amused and entertained by you, they will enjoy being with you. The way to a Taurus’ heart is through their stomachs. Cook for them or offer to take them to a fine upscale restaurant. Taurus enjoy talking about finance, business, money and material possessions.


GEMINI:

Love to talk, that is the first rule about impressing a Gemini. Be knowledgeable about that you talk about too because Gemini are intelligent and have lots of knowledge about many things. If you are an expert on a certain topic, teach them about it, you will impress them because this know-it-all sign does not usually know fine details about a lot of things, they are too busy to bother to learn. Speak your mind, engage them in a friendly debate but never be too conservative, they find this dull. Be honest and loyal to a Gemini, once they have had their trust broken they usually will never get it back again. Gemini are easy to date, they will do any activity anywhere. Just have fun, like you would with friends because that’s what Gemini are, a great friend.


CANCER:

You must be direct, Cancer will not. Let your feelings for them be known, this is the first step to initiating a relationship with a Cancer. This way, will not have to risk rejection, one of their biggest fears. If you are looking for a short fling, be straight with them. Do not lead them on to thinking there is long term commitment is there is none because you will hurt these emotionally delicate people.

Trust is the most important. Build trust with them and they will gradually get closer to you. Give them approval and compliments but be careful because they will easily sense when you are complimenting them just for the sake of it. Be sincere. Ask Cancer for advice, share your problems (but don’t burden them), they enjoy helping people and giving advice.

They like culture and lavish experiences. Take them to a play or museum and a fancy, upscale restaurant. Do not force Cancer into a relationship or make them make a decision on the spot. They will shy away from you. Have patience, this is the key to attracting a Cancer. Be physical with them, they love genuine affection. They are very cautious and as time passes, they will slowly grow closer to you and you will have wonderful, fulfilling relationship.


LEO:

Admiration is key. Admire them and they will be yours. Leo is a fairly easy sign to attract they are very receptive to advances and come-ons. Give them compliments, dish them out in handfuls because Leos never think a compliment can go too far. Even if you are faking it, they don’t care, the simply love the attention. Be funny, Leos love to be entertained and they love to laugh. If you can make them laugh, you’re good! Leos like the grand things in life, treat them to a lavish dinner or a cultural upscale event. Always have the best of the best and never try to offer them second rate. They think nothing is too good for them, they like everything posh so dress classy and nice, and have a good night on the town with the charming Leo!


VIRGO:

Virgos need intellectual stimulation. Impress them with facts and details. Always try to come to conclusions when having a conversation, they do not like topics that go nowhere, they like conversations to come to a close or consensus, even if you agree to disagree. They are very conventional people so do not do anything spontaneous or force them to make a hasty decision, they take their time and think intensely in their mind. They are not slow, their brain is working evaluating everything. Do not attempt to probe inside their mind because their emotions are pretty much closed off until the relationship is solid, and they will decide when that time will be. Virgos are natural worriers, do not let this get to you. Do not give them cause to worry because this makes them get wound up like a spring. Let Virgo take the lead, they like to be in control of what is happening. Keep the date tasteful and do not be vulgar, they like calm and classy surroundings and people.


LIBRA:

Libras are easy to attract, they probably have attracted you first with their easygoing nature. First and foremost, admire and flatter them. Treat them like a prince or princess. Libras love to talk, they can talk about anything but are especially interested in themselves. Want to leave a lasting impression on a Libra? Ask questions about them and talk about their interests, hobbies, anything regarding them. Even though Libras are diplomatic, they enjoy seeing things from other points of view. Engage in a light debate about an issue exploring both sides and the conversation will flow. Dress nice, keep the atmosphere posh and upscale and clean your house before they come over for the first time. First impressions are lasting for Libras. Have fun, be yourself, you are almost guaranteed a good time with the easygoing, interesting Libra.


SCORPIO:

Never be fake with a Scorpio, they can see it a mile away. Be genuine with your comments and listen to them attentively, (they always have something interesting to say so this is never a problem!) Do not try to hide things from them or tease them, they always have to know what is going on. Remember, they are the only ones that are allowed to tease and present the mystery and intrigue! They like frankness and honesty, speak your mind they will respect that. Scorpios are interested in almost all activities, so finding something to do should never be a problem. They are unpredictable and could change the course of the date mid-way though so take these last minute changes with a smile and try something different. They like people who are not afraid to ditch a plan and try another. In conversation, do not tell them that their opinions are wrong or shoot them down, they are too proud for this and even if it is a joke, they might not take it with the humour that you meant. Never try to control them but do not be the damsel in distress either, they like strong, real people with driving ambitious personality like theirs.


SAGITTARIUS:

Talk to them, ask them questions about themselves, share stories, make them laugh, but do not pry into intimate details about their life. Keep your emotional distance and they will be attracted to you. Easy. Suggest an outdoor date, something wild and wacky like floating on a boat down the river then having a picnic by the riverside, anything. They love activities. These are the easiest people to get a date with but don;t think that this is written in stone, they are the biggest commitment phoebe of all zodiac signs. Enjoy the time you’ve spent with Sagittarius and be prepared to move on or at least share them with others because they will be doing the same. All in good fun.


CAPRICORN:

Make them laugh, they tend to be melancholy so anyone who can make them laugh is appreciated. Talk about anything but do not pry into their emotions. They do mind listening to yours, however. When Capricorn feels safe, they will let some of their cats out of the bag.

Talk about serious topics, things that matter and avoid unconventionality, they are very conventional people and do not like shock-topics. They like to be connected to on an intellectual level. They like gifts, not gaudy and expensive but practical and useful. Keep it high class, they do not like second-rate gifts or dates for that matter. Plan an upscale date to an art gallery, theatre or fancy restaurant.

Never be late. Capricorns are very punctual and live by a schedule and they do not like to be kept waiting, it shows irresponsibility. Be patient with Capricorn, underneath that aloof, indifferent outside lies a physical, passionate loyal person that will come out when the time is right, once you have proven yourself.


AQUARIUS:

Communication is key. You must be able to stimulate their minds, engage in a friendly, witty verbal battle but do not expect to come to any conclusions, this is not the point. They crave the brain exercise. If you unable to keep up with the intellect and the unconventional ways that Aquarius is known for, you might want to look elsewhere.

Aquarius needs communication compatibility more than anything else. Have variety in your dates, think of interesting things to do like a trip to the zoo, but if you can’t think of any crazy idea, leave it up to Aquarius to make plans but do not be surprised if they change the plan in the middle, be flexible like them. They do not like naggers or complainers so keep the talk positive and all should be well.


PISCES:

Talk about spirituality, the occult, astrology, anything that is out of reach of the real world. They will easily get lost in a good conversation. Although they are attracted to people with severe problems who desperately need help, this actually does more harm them good. Even though Pisces will offer to make everything right, do not allow them to take on all your problems because they will lose their identity in your situation. They need a strong positive partner to make them strong. Pisces like adventure, new situation and social events and will be up to doing almost anything that you suggest. Make them laugh, they are usually melancholy and will be impressed if someone has the ability to make them laugh. They are not very conservative people so do not be afraid to talk about unconventional or strange things and tell them odd jokes, they will be impressed by that. They are suckers for flattery give them compliments and tell them in a roundabout way that you admire them. Be sensitive, generous and gentle, make them feel comfortable with you and make them feel good about themselves and all will be smooth sailing!

Aries: you’re faking happiness, again. With that big smile that I don’t believe in, even when you smile you want to cry. Don’t lie to me, I can hear it in your voice when you’re sad. You may fake your happiness but you’re unhappy in general because you keep trying to please everyone even when you say you don’t care what anyone thinks anymore.

Taurus: you’re forgetting to take care of yourself, you’re forgetting to stop and smell the flowers. You’re forgetting yourself because there are millions of other people who need help, but hey. Save the world: start with yourself.

Gemini: stop trying to please everyone and then go along with their plans like someone blinded you. You have your own opinions, plans. Use your voice, live. Communicate with everyone and show them what you’re good at because love, you’re burning out.

Cancer: the stars shine for you again, you’re in such a contradict with yourself and your mind. You’re stuck in a spiderweb, speaking words of dust and cobwebs. I’m afraid I can’t save you, the spider’s dead. Save yourself because last time I looked in your eyes and I lost everything, I lost everything.

Leo: call that friend you’ve been forgetting, they’re missing you. People need you more than you realize. People miss you when you don’t talk to them just like you miss them. Don’t put yourself down love.

Virgo: I always forget the coldness of your hands but I swear that when I touch you my fingers split open with pain. Something so painful is yet so beautiful. And I always dreamed of fairtytales until I saw your face and was reminded that they’re not real. They’re not real; but you’re pretty damn close.

Libra: the jewelry around your neck doesn’t make me wander me from your fake smile and glossy eyes. You’re strong, but you’ve been over this path of glass one too many times and the shards always make you bleed. I know familiarity is important for you but why don’t you try the path with warm sand instead? You keep making yourself bleed.

Scorpio: you won’t find yourself or your confidence when you keep hiding your face under the lid of your hoodie darling. You’re beautiful, dare to be brave, open. Shock them all with your contagious smile. They don’t need to understand, happiness is not understandable. It’s beautiful, like you. Be your unpredictable self.

Sagittarius: the moon slips ink down your throat and you keep choking on the lies you tell to keep yourself save. I have an adventure for you and it starts at the top of your personality and ends and your lifeline: seek your heartbeat, find your faith.

Capricorn: for the last time, you’re more important than you think you are. You’re worth more than they’ll ever know. There’s not much to say, the seas are spotted red and your eyes always end up getting lost in it at the end of the night. It’s alright because for the thousandth time, there’s someone by your side.

Aquarius: the unfamiliarity of the sunset that lights fires in your heart may be a welcome surprise but your hands are still cold and winter is about to make things a whole lot more chilly. Find a home, you’re save when you’re there.

Pisces: you’re making mistakes I don’t understand but I am not the one to judge for I don’t know the things in your head. And I will try my best and say I do the best that I can but I can’t defend your actions, you’re too special to go down for this. You’re trying, I know you are. You always are.

Overwatch and the Great Retconning

So, I think there’s something fascinating going on with Overwatch Lore. I think we’re watching Blizzard rewrite unrevealed lore live in response to fan feedback. 

And I think it centers around Gabriel Reyes.

Originally, we were presented with the narrative that Reyes was the original Strike Team leader during the Omnic Crisis, was passed over for promotion. Worked with Jack and Ana for twenty years, then at some point got so resentful that he led an armed rebellion against them, resulting in the base exploding and him coming back as an angry smog ghost.

I have a feeling that the canceled First Strike graphic novel was entwined with this narrative, hinting at Gabriel’s future jealousy and villainy. 

Except, this is the age of social media and fandom engagement. People rejected that narrative, mostly because on it’s own, it is really stupid. People latched onto Gabriel Reyes as a character, and the idea that he brings down Overwatch out of base envy kind of ruins him. Why have a simply EVIL character when you can have a COMPLEX character? It also implies that a good chunk of Overwatch sided with Gabe over the issue of who go the statue and the big blue coat.

So, first strike was canceled, and we’ve been seeing Gabriel portrayed as still close with Jack and Ana.

And now, I theorize.

Gabriel WAS responsible for the fall of Overwatch, but not because he was mad about a promotion from twenty years ago, but because of a fundamental disagreement about what Overwatch was.

The new comic, Uprising, contains a few key moments.

First: Blackwatch is suspended, and Overwatch isn’t allowed to operate in Britain, but Gabriel sends McCree anyway, showing that he’s more concerned with doing good than following the rules.

Second: The entire comic is based around the struggle between following orders, and helping people who need help. Jack has a base full of agents trained to handle omnic extremists holding hostages in central London, but his hands are tied. 

Third: This panel

The implication seems to be that Overwatch wasn’t successful because they had the best gear, or the most skill. Overwatch succeeded because people got desperate enough to let them operate without oversight, free from politics and egos, dedicated entirely to the goal of winning the war. 

That was the Overwatch Strike Team that Gabriel Reyes led. A group of soldiers answerable to nobody, willing to do whatever it took, use whatever methods got results. Maybe they were the ones who blacked out Mexico, depriving the Omnics of power. Maybe they leveled chunks of Rio, gave the Outback to the Omnics, 

And that’s why Jack Morrison got the statue and the big blue coat. Because, while Gabriel Reyes may have won the war, he probably crossed a lot of lines to do so.  As Overwatch was transitioning from a wartime necessity to a global peacekeeping force, they needed somebody more controllable at the helm. 


Which brings us to the Fall of Overwatch. Gabriel Reyes has been running Blackwatch his way, doing whatever he feels is necessary without asking permission. But, it’s coming back to bite them, they’re being attacked on all sides, Ana has faked her death, leaving Jack and Gabe to battle over the future of Overwatch.

Jack holds to the dream that Overwatch can return to it’s prior status as a beloved global peacekeeping force, working with the UN, smiling and waving for the cameras. He’s crossed some lines (Like sending the team to London), but he thinks that was a one-time necessity. If asked to stay out, Overwatch should stay out. 

Gabriel on the other hand doesn’t care what people think. He LOVES that Jack sent the team to London, he HATES that Jack waited so long. He doesn’t think that Overwatch should be limited by the whims of politicians. He wants it to operate like they did during the Omnic Crisis, a free-roaming band of heroes doing what needed to be done. 
Basically, Lawful Good vs Chaotic Good. That’s the conflict that splits Overwatch.

As for the Explosion? Maybe it was caused by the fight, maybe it was Talon. 

Now, post-overwatch, their opinions have shifted. Jack, now Soldier: 76, thinks that Overwatch was a failed idea from the start. Any attempts to rebuild it will just lead to the same problem: Oversite vs Action. Ironically, he’s now become exactly what Gabriel wanted Overwatch to be. He’s a vigilante, operating outside the law, doing what he feels is necessary to make the world a better place. 

As for Gabriel? He’s Reaper now, and that’s amplified everything, but the main feeling is one of betrayal. From his perspective, everybody that didn’t side with him cared more about playing politics and looking good than actually doing their jobs. They betrayed him, Jack especially. Not that Reaper cares about making the world a better place. He’s mad that Jack turned against him, mad that he was turned into Reaper, Mad in general. 

But not about the Statue. It was never about the Statue. 

anonymous asked:

there was a post going around saying ""dldr is meant for things like, “if you don’t like coffee shops, don’t read this coffee shop AU,” not, “i can be as racist as i want and you have to deal with it because i used a disclaimer"". a lot of people in the tags argued that this is what they mean when they say incest/p*dophilia/abuse portrayed in a positive light in fanfic is problematic. whats your opinion? xoxo

… phew. this ask almost passes as a legit question, but the ‘xoxo’ at the end is a little much.  still, what a great opportunity to talk about this ongoing problem of people ignoring warnings that a work contains content that upsets them, then complaining that they were upset when they viewed it.

(first, a side note: don’t censor the word ‘pedophilia’. It’s not a slur - it’s a content warning. If you censor it, the blacklists of people who don’t want to see posts that mention pedophilia won’t catch it and they could be harmed. Just use the word.)

anti-shippers who look at a fic or fanwork’s tags and say ‘this has problematic content! I better go tell the author how problematic their content is!’, I have news for you:

warnings on fanworks indicate that the person creating the work knows the content is ‘problematic’, not for all audiences, and may hurt people if they view it unsuspectingly. stop taking fanwork warnings and tags in bad faith and using them as an excuse to harass and harm creators.

warnings aren’t ‘disclaimers’ (and aren’t used as such). they’re the CONTAINS NAPROXIN. KEEP OUT OF REACH OF CHILDREN sticker on painkillers. The content is good, even helpful, for some people, but for others who don’t need it or are too young to understand what they’re consuming could be harmed. take the warnings seriously and if you don’t like what they say the fic contains, you really are better off not reading/viewing it!

‘they’re not warnings, they’re advertisements!’ they can function as both! people who want to read that content can find it and people who don’t want to read that content can avoid it. everyone is happier, except anti-shippers who are mad that people are enjoying content they don’t personally approve of.

‘If the creator knows their content is problematic, then they shouldn’t have created it in the first place! Or if they did, they shouldn’t have put it on the internet for people to see!’ well that’s a very different conversation. What you’re saying is that you advocate for censorship, and in that case ‘don’t like don’t read’ would be worthless: only things you like would be allowed to exist in the first place.

But let’s talk about how ‘they shouldn’t have put it on the internet for people to see.’ the basis for this is, I know, that it could corrupt the unsuspecting youth who read the bad content. But isn’t this a bit contradictory? if a fanwork is tagged with a warning that it contains abuse, everyone who looks at the fanwork is going to know that 1) the author believes that abuse is bad and needs to be warned for, and 2) the work contains abuse. Taking these points together, no matter how positively the abuse is depicted, a viewer has foreknowledge that it’s abusive and the creator thinks abuse is bad.  It’s simply insulting to imply that viewers will look at the abuse in the fanwork so uncritically as to not think it’s horrible after receiving such a warning.

In fact, I’ve heard anecdotal evidence that people who have been raped or abused (or still being abused) or undergone other harm have read fics with these warnings and because of the warnings, realized what had happened to themselves was not okay.  If anti-shippers had their way, those fics wouldn’t even exist, much less be warned for.

I’m about to say something radical, so brace yourself: 

because tagging warnings is the accepted way to warn people about dangerous content in fandom, the things more likely to cause confusion and harm in fanworks are the things that aren’t warned for.

Even the most positive depiction of abuse would be spoiled by a warning. Can you imagine if the beginning of every copy of Nabokov’s Lolita started with ‘Warning: this work contains depictions of csa, abuse, and child grooming.’ It would force readers who are blind to the hints that the narrator is unreliable to read the work with a very different eye, and I doubt most people would read it and conclude it’s a love story the way many people do today.

Now Lolita was intended to be a kind of monster story from the point of view of the monster - it was never meant to be a positive depiction at all. Nabokov’s work was too subtle for most people, but he was a master storyteller. I think if he could, he’d go back and add a warning so people would stop getting the wrong idea.

In fandom, where we have a widely-accepted tagging system, potentially harmful content that the creator adds deliberately will be warned for. But the potentially harmful content that the creator doesn’t know about won’t be - and that’s the stuff that tends to be a lot more sneaky and insidious.

Let’s take your example: 

“i can be as racist as i want and you have to deal with it because i used a disclaimer".

Racism does crop up a lot in fanworks, but not in the way this implies.  There’s a huge difference between a creator recognizing racism exists and utilizing it as an aspect of a setting or acknowledging it in a respectful, truthful way and a creator who does not recognize their own racist blind spots and therefore ends up perpetuating harmful stereotypes or providing racist narration without realizing it.

The former tends to be warned for; the latter never is because the creator doesn’t even know they’re being racist. The former may be painful, because racism is shitty and harmful and real, but a person can steer clear if they want to avoid it and the warning shows the content is known to be bad. The latter is more painful because it’s not just depicting racism: it is in fact perpetuating racism.

So which is actually worse: the fic that has a warning for racism or the fic that doesn’t?

And this can be applied to anything. A fic that depicts a character being abused but doesn’t warn for abuse tells me that the author doesn’t know the work contains abuse (which is worrying for the safety of the author). A fic that contains dubious consent but the author doesn’t warn for noncon/dubcon/rape tells me that the author has a poor understanding of consent.  These are the fics that are more likely to be dangerous. Fics without content warnings are also the ones most likely to unironically and uncritically depict the bad behavior in a positive light - because the authors have been taught by the rest of society outside fandom that what they’ve depicted is normal/not harmful. They are victims, and they need help, not people yelling at them about how problematic they are.

Two last notes, which I’ll try to keep short:

  • If a fanwork depicts a relationship that’s canonically unhealthy in a world where it’s fluffy and healthy, they are not responsible for putting warnings on their fic that pertain to the canon version of the ship.  For instance: Kylo and Rey are enemies in current Star Wars continuity and Kylo tried to torture Rey for information. But if a fic is set in a future where Kylo is well-adjusted and happy and dating Rey in a non-abusive relationship, the fic does not need to warn for ‘abuse’. the fic doesn’t contain abuse. Let it go.
  • No creator is beholden to using anti definitions of words like ‘pedophilia’, ‘abuse’, and ‘incest’ for their warnings. The definition of what antis call ‘pedophilia’, ‘incest’, and ‘abuse’ varies from fandom to fandom - sometimes from pairing to pairing. While tags will always be somewhat subjective, the wide variety of definitions these words have in anti-shipper parlance makes them all but meaningless, so use them when you see fit, not when antis demand it.  If antis have a problem with it, they’ll just have to start treating ship tags as warnings* and avoid all depictions of ships they don’t like. (which is what we all wish they’d do anyway.)

And now for the final irony: every time anti-shippers use warnings as a reason to go yell at people about how their fanworks are bad, antis give creators less incentive to tag warnings. People might start to hope that if they just don’t warn up front for the potentially dangerous content people will stop yelling at them without even looking at the work itself. Or if the work is borderline (’maybe this is abusive but maybe it’s not’), they may opt to go without the warnings so they can avoid the extra trouble. this is already happening with dubious consent depictions. If a noncon warning gets you yelled at, then fics where the consent isn’t completely denied will just not get warned for at all, and that’s fucked up.  And when the warnings aren’t there, people are way more likely to stumble on something of a nature that upsets them! 

So as usual, in their crusade to eradicate all content that isn’t unquestionably wholesome and pure antis make everything a little less safe for everyone. Thanks, guys.  (please stop.)

and creators: please, depict terrible things in your fanworks in whatever light you choose - and warn for them. you might accidentally help save someone from a real situation that’s terrible.

*ship tags also work as both warnings and advertisements, as it happens. Funny, isn’t it?

There is life after whatever they’re feeling, there is life after high school, there is life after that exam, there is life after that party or that photo or that boy. There is always going to be more.
—  Katherine Langford

anonymous asked:

hply shit. Chechenya's (an autonomous region of Russia) recently opened concentration camps for LGBT peoples. 100 gay men have been captured and 3+ have died

I don’t even have the words for this.

Human Rights Watch states:

For several weeks now, a brutal campaign against LGBT people has been sweeping through Chechnya. Law enforcement and security agency officials under control of the ruthless head of the Chechen Republic, Ramzan Kadyrov, have rounded up dozens of men on suspicion of being gay, torturing and humiliating the victims. Some of the men have forcibly disappeared. Others were returned to their families barely alive from beatings. At least three men apparently have died since this brutal campaign began.

This chilling information was first publicised by Novaya Gazeta, a leading independent Russian paper. Their report came out on 1 April, prompting the spokesperson for Chechnya’s Interior Ministry to dismiss it as an “April fools’ joke.” Kadyrov’s press secretary immediately described the report as “absolute lies and disinformation,” contending that there were no gay people in Chechnya and then adding cynically, “If there were such people in Chechnya, law-enforcement agencies wouldn’t need to have anything to do with them because their relatives would send them somewhere from which there is no returning.”

Mass pro-Kadyrov rally organized by Chechen authorities in Grozny in January 2016.

Chechnya’s official news agency, Grozny Info, quoted numerous local commentators bashing Novaya Gazeta and other “enemies” of Chechnya and Russia for supposed attempts to discredit the Chechen people, “foster sodomy,” and undermine “traditional values.”

The information published by Novaya Gazeta is consistent with the reports Human Rights Watch recently received from numerous trusted sources, including sources on the ground. The number of sources and the consistency of the stories leaves us with no doubt that these devastating developments have indeed occurred. LGBT Network in Russia opened a special hotline to provide emergency support to those who find themselves in immediate danger.

The Russian LGBT Network has released a statement with stories about what has happened to some (obviously anonymous) men.

It’s really important to share the Russian LGBT Network’s statement overall:

The Russian LGBT Networks is highly disturbed and concerned about the information on the kidnapping and killing of people in Chechnya because of their sexual orientation. We are also outraged by the reaction of the officials of the Chechen Republic, who in fact justify the killings.  No national and/or religious traditions and norms can justify kidnapping or killing of a human being. Any references to “traditions” to justify kidnappings and killings are amoral and criminal.

The Russian LGBT Network makes every effort to contact the victims and to provide the emergency support. Taking into account the recent statements of the Chechnya officials, we believe that the only thing that can work out is the evacuation. We cooperate closely we the human rights defenders both in Russia and abroad, and ready to evacuate.

On Monday, the Russian LGBT Network will appeal to the Investigative Committee of the Russian Federation with two claims. The one is the demand to investigate the information on the crimes, published in “Novaya Gazeta”. Another one is the claim to check whether the public statements of the Chechen officials made on April 1 and justifying the killings, contain the elements of the offence.

We are grateful to everyone who contacted us and asked how they can help. What do we need now?

  • Help us to spread the information about the fact that the Russian LGBT Network is ready to evacuate people. Please think for whom this information can be useful. You can spread the information publicly or personally. Everyone who needs help can contact us by email or call the Hotline (8 800 555 73 74). The call is free all over Russia.
  • In accordance with the Russian legislation, every citizen can apply to the Investigative Committee with the demand to investigate the information about the crime published in mass media. We encourage everyone to apply (the template of the claim will be published tomorrow).

We understand that many people want to help those in need. But please remember that any uncoordinated actions can put in additional danger people in need and those who are ready to help. Therefore, we do not recommend to collect the addresses of people who are ready to provide temporarily shelter.

Be aware, that the situation with the human rights in the North Caucasus is truly difficult. Now people’s lives are endangered and the only way to help is the evacuation. The Russian LGBT Network has the necessary resources to evacuate people, there is a team that already makes every effort to safe lives. That is why we ask everyone to share with us the information about people in need and any offers of assistance.

Again, their contact information is here for all Russians, and the number is free to call.

This is very real, modern day evil and this information needs to be shared.

“I would rather help those that don’t need help than chance not helping one person who does” is an excellent quote I just read that pretty much sums up the entire problem with purity/gatekeeping culture and why exclusionists in discourse are so disgustingly messed up and self centered.

Like, they would literally sacrifice any number of people that desperately need help for the sake of….not supporting people who maaaaybe don’t actually need help. They’ve weighed it out and decided that’s where their priorities lay, that’s the value of those people. Their politics, their performative stances, they all matter more than any of the suffering individuals they play their vindictive games on. Its not, never has been, and never will be about protecting anyone.