for my sanity's sake

Aaaaand it’s done! I’m dead! My Wings & Ruin montage. I probably could have spent a couple more weeks / months tweaking it to within an inch of its life, but for the sake of my sanity I’m calling it done (it was hella fun, but I think I wracked up about a million hours.)

PRINTS! In  the usual places, for everyone asking. Society 6 and Limited signed copies on Etsy.


It’ll all work out in the end, I won’t leave your side

tips from a grocery store cashier:

  • group the produce, foods, and non-foods (especially chemicals) as you put them on the belt. it makes bagging things way easier.
  • yes, we know they’ve rearranged the store. we can’t find anything either.
  • we know you’ve been standing in line for (insert period of time). we’re going as fast as we can.
  • don’t tell us to open more lanes. if they’re closed, there’s a reason and that reason is probably that we don’t have enough cashiers on hand.
  • we stand for 4-10 hours a day repeating the same conversation over and over and over. forgive us if we forget whether or not we’ve asked about coupons already.
  • if you’re buying alcohol or cold medicine and look under 40, have your id out and ready to go.
  • for the sake of my admittedly slipping sanity, please do not remove your chip card before it makes the ungodly shrieking beep and tell you that you can remove it.
  • if it won’t scan, do not even start to think the word “free”

anonymous asked:

I just failed my chemistry test (part of the 5% group of F's in my class), and all I want to do at the moment is feel depressed and cry. How do you handle failure? Like getting a bad test score?


Firstly, cry. Let it out. Screw motivational quotes, self help books and keeping composure.  Curse, scream, yell. Put on your comfiest outfit and park yourself in bed with a book, movie, music, youtube - anything that isn’t study.

There’s nothing wrong with taking a time out.

Its not like the next few hours will change your mark - so do what’s in your power right now, that being, taking care of yourself.


I’ve written about how I deal with failure on this studyblr before. See:

The first two posts include a list of resources, ranging from working professionals sharing their experiences and strategies for dealing with failure, to music recommendations, study tips and goat remixes. Something for everyone - call it my failure first aid kit.

3 Steps 

To summarise, I cycle through three broad steps: 

1. Immediately after the exam (aka ‘Fuck everything’)

  • Consider what you can do immediately after the exam. Nothing can get you back those few hours you spent in the exam room. You’re not obliged to discuss your performance with your peers, comparing answers won’t change what you’ve written.
  • Take some time off from studying - rest, recuperate, reset.

2. Upon receiving results (aka 'getting down to business’)

  • Review my exam: what areas did I do well in? What areas do I need to improve, where did I lose most of my marks? Was it a procedural error (e.g. the style of question and time limits) or was a substantive error (e.g. I didn’t understand the concept they were testing, did we even learn about titration).  I use this review to structure my study for my next exam.
  • Formal avenues of Review: was there anything that affected my exam performance? If so, am I eligible for a remark or resit? Has the assessment been fair?
  • Ask: approach teachers, lecturers to ask for feedback. How can I do better? What was a model answer?

3. Shia LaBeouf it

  • Using the strategies and information I have gathered above, its time to bite the bullet and study for the resit or my next exam.
  • If I have to cover similar content, I’ll find a new way to study the content (e.g. audio, video, mindmaps)
  • Rather than go through all the content, I’ll target the areas where I lost the most marks, whether this be by content or a particular style of question (e.g. short answer, essay)

A few things I like to keep in mind: 

Effort can betray you 

  • you can work hard and still fail. You can put in hours and hours of work and still pull up short. However, this doesn’t mean you shouldn’t continue to work diligently. The worth of hard work (the 'process’) goes beyond the result you achieve. The result doesn’t invalidate the means.

Success is not a predetermined route

  • There are many ways to achieve your goal. This assessment, no matter how much its weighted, no matter how many people tell you 'it’s the only way’ is not necessarily the only way to achieve your goal. Life isnt a series of dominos which collapse once you fail this exam. Success isn’t linear.

Self Confidence

  • Its difficult to untangle feelings of self confidence from academic performance, particularly if you’ve dedicated the majority of your life (so far!) to school etc. School is an artificial pressure cooker of constant assessments, scrutiny (and competition). Remind yourself of who you are outside of 'being a student’ - you are a friend, a kick ass baker, master procrastinator with the endurance to pull all nighters to marathon episodes of friends. Dedicate yourself to pursuing something outside (and completely independent of) school and your 'future career’. Remind yourself that you’re human.

During the immediate aftermath of a bad exam result, its difficult to simply 'get over it’. It feels like it is the 'be all or end all’ because you’ve invested so much time and effort into studying, and up til now, the direction of your life has been defined by reference to your academic journey. 

I try to keep things in perspective, for the sake of my sanity. This exam is only one in a series of exams I’ll ever take. That exam only reflected my performance at one specific time, at one specific place. It doesn’t tell the examiner who I am outside 9am-11am on a Monday morning in exam hall B. It has no bearing on my ability to be a good friend, reliable employee, awesome pet owner.

When I struggle to keep things in perspective, I find this 'Life Calendar’ by Tim Urban helps, and the Tim Minchin speech referenced in one of the links above.

 Heck, I still cry. There’s days where I spend the entire day in bed. Sometimes, my recent failures seem just as bad as that stupid quiz I failed back when I started high school - and I’m in my final year of university now. Failure at any stage is difficult because here’s the thing - you don’t have the luxury of hindsight to tell you 'things will be ok’.  

But that’s ok.

Because I’ll get up the next morning and try again. 

And again. 

And again. 

And eventually, things will change. I can’t promise that they’ll get better, but they’ll change.

You’ll get through this anon, and I wish you all the best.

Boy with the caramel dripping from his lips.
Boy with the heart like a tombstone, but not
as a monument of death, but of the resurrection
that comes after. Boy with the hands of a worker. Not
construction. Hands of a man who has built his own
skeleton frame by frame, bone by bone, vein by
minuscule vein; I wonder if he knows that I can
see the trying part of him. Boy with the mother who
passed before she could meet her granddaughter. Boy
with the eyes like a slaughterhouse: by definition, you
are a haunting ground–

(may my ghost follow you)–

rephrase: by definition, you are a land of holy, a land of
nourishment. Boy with the salt on his tongue. Boy that faked
being my boyfriend for the sake of my own sanity when
being faced by a beggar in the heart of Richmond. Boy
that does not know how to let hands go. Boy who pulls
back when I push away. Boy who uses no words to
describe what’s screaming within his chest. Boy who
abandons his car at a red light just so he can kiss me
through my open window. Boy who claims sociopath.
Boy who smokes Turkish cigarettes. Boy who kisses like there’s a volcano erupting in his chest,
and his lips (oh, his lips), the lava spilling unto the land
of my body. Boy without a phone. Boy who has me write
my number in the center of his Deftones tattoo with
a sharpie. Boy who leaves me feeling an ache in my chest

Boy I haven’t spoken to since.

—  new york city to richmond // Haley Hendrick

okay let me just share what’s been happening with my life recently (long post comin up)

first of all, im pretty sure you’re already aware that this academic year, i decided to work full-blown and started taking up way too many load and responsibilities that i am not too certain i can juggle simultaneously. i always knew i can do it because although i wasn’t the best in time management i was so so sure this experience could help me learn how to handle my tasks responsibly. and personally, i thought was doing great actually! despite my CETs, student body governance, preparations for my upcoming exhibit, another onef for my play, 2 case studies, 1 research paper, and many many more, I was able to get through the first quarter and even finished it with flying colors (im still in director’s list). everybody thought i was doing great as well, some even told me they’re inspired of my dedication and passion for so so many things!

i started noticing my awful state when i realized my friends started hanging out without me. initially, they would even bother asking if i wanna come with them to eat out or watch movies and i would say ‘no sorry im so busy but i’ll catch up’ until eventually, they gave and decided to go on with their lives even without me. there is definitely nothing wrong with that!! i completely understand that the world does not revolve around me and my friends deserve to live their lives without me and i cant expect them to wait 3 to 4 hours for me. but i dont know, maybe it’s the thought that the more people know about me (in school as a leader), the more lonely i feel. and trust me, it’s just plain awful.

the peak of everything (the time i realized how terrible i’ve been) is when i started getting awful migraines recently. they were ALWAYS terrible and it feels like my head is splitting, im naseous, and barely breathing properly, every second makes me wanna scream. it is only that day that i have realized how exhausted i have been. i have overworked my body and she’s starting to tell me to give her some break.

however, the problem is: i always feel so so terrible every time i give myself a break. yesterday, i binge watched stranger things season 2 and while it felt wonderful and euphoric to feel free for the first 7 hours, the last hour (episode) was… just awful. dont get me wrong, STRANGER THINGS WAS LIT (I CRIED 600X I LUV STEVE AND my GALS) but it’s not the series that is the problem; rather, myself. i feel like garbage for doing things that i actually enjoy for a second. i feel horrible for doing ‘unproductive’ things that make me feel happy. i feel terrible that instead of spending 8 hours studying or doing some posters, i chose to be unproductive. and the very thought has been feeding on and bothering me for the entire night until now. because i feel like i dont deserve it. because i feel like what comes along with this happiness is another extra hour to not get some rest giving me only an hour to sleep. it’s so so so overwhelming but i cant help but feel helpless. what came along with this little sense of responsibility is the anxiety to not doing thingd right on track fail (and i know i should fix this part of myself)

now you might be wondering: weren’t you preaching about giving yourself a break when things get a little too overwhelming? yes, yes, i do. and i know it might sound like im a hypocrite for saying this but confession: believe it or not, i still find it difficult to find myself on other days too. and i dont know if it’s the winter blues but i feel like im not being myself recently. im just so lost and vast and blank and i find it really difficult to concentate. i have a lot of deadlines to meet (mostly, it involves using my creativity), and i always end up meeting an artist block that i cant seem to jump over. i feel like garbage because i know i have the time to do something but i dont do it because my brain is too exhausted (?) to create things.

and of course above all, i hate to disappoint the people who believes/d in me. i dont want to break down in front of the same bunch of people who voted me because they know i am suitable for the position. i dont want to ask for help from my friends because i feel like it might mean i am actually not that passionate about my job (to which i am VERY). i dont want to disappoint myself because i know i can do it if i try a little harder. just a little.

so pls pls pls be patient and softer to me for now. i know it might seem like im being a huge bore or a little douchey for not responding to all your messages but i promise i try my best to read every single one of them! im really not just in the mood to respond to them yet!

i feel like i might need some time to fix myself. maybe. but until then, i hope you could give me some love and support and virtual hugs because i might need them!

i love you all, always.

Day 7

Today I was moved from my usual back lane to one of the express lanes. If you’re like me and think of the store as a whole as the festering pits of hell, then this is the equivalent of moving one level closer to Satan—stiflingly hot, frequent belligerence from higher-ups, and crowds of shuffling dead-eyed people who want nothing more than to find a way out. 

Additionally, when people are forced to pick only ten items to buy, their choices become even more questionable. 

Which brings us to the weirdo of the day from this afternoon:

College-age looking dude-bro in a sleeveless tank and bright pastel shorts approaches my lane. His items? Six boxes of chocolate-covered laxatives (WHICH APPARENTLY ARE A REAL PRODUCT THAT YOU CAN BUY).

Those, and a mop.

Ohhhhhh no.

Me: “Do you want a bag for these today?”

Him: “Nah bro, I can just carry them out.” *leaves*

Him: *returns half a minute later* “Actually, can I have a plastic bag? Like, a couple? I’m gonna need them.”

Me: *full body shudder*

i love you, more than love, more than life itself, i am in love with you, i care for you more than i have ever cared for anyone, including myself and that’s why you must leave. i am not good for you, i might be good enough for you, but i am just not good for you. i will hurt you, i know myself, i’ve done it before, i’ll do it again, it’s something i will end up doing even when i sure as hell don’t want to. i will break you, i’ll leave you. 
i am not strong enough to let you go, i need you to let me go, let us go, for the sake of your life and my sanity. this fire inside of me burns too damn bright and too damn much, it will keep us warm but it will end you burning you to the core.
—  i am cold and maybe you haven’t heard of frostbite babe // JustScribbledWords

ingtld  asked:

You made a post saying you didn't like the female versions of overwatch characters you found. But why? I'd be interested to read your thoughts on a few representative examples of what you mean.

Sorry for the late answear, but I’ll gladly do so!

firstly, some examples:

(Just a heads up, DON’T HARASS THE ARTISTS MENTIONED IN THIS POST, nothing excuses harassement.)

(Art by: chen HG)

One of the most common traits of these female versions of male characters is the age, as you can see, this is a representation of Soldier76 as a female, in the original history hes around 50-60 years old, and I have yet to see someone with that age range that looks like a teenager. And obviously- hes sexualised.

(Art by: MIST)

This one I’m not that mad at the Junkrat, still don’t like it but its for personal reasons. But Roadhog… I believe you’re not blind, so I don’t think I have to explain this one. As I searched for this one I found even worse designs, so I’ll just get this one for the sake of my sanity.

(Art by: Raypier)

Ah, we all gotta love the classic boob+butt shot, althought this one is actually more anatomically correct. What actually made me get irked about this one is the lack of scars, age reduction and a little because of the armour, but I don’t mind it as much.

(Art by: Liang xing)

And this one. Oh man, I fucking HATE this one. Not only combines all the traits I hate about female versions, they made it referencing the day he murdered his brother. HOW can someone not have a problem with this?

But yeah, most of them have the same traits that make me hate the female versions, they turn them young and sexualized to say the least. I’m not saying Overwatch doesnt sexualize their characters, but they’re trying their best to change that.

Now lets sprinkle in some good female versions~

(Art by: Vince Aparo)

(Art by: demasiri)

(Art by: Alexandra Douglass)

(Art by: Mario Manzanares)

(Art by: porkyhooker)

(Art by: Coconutmilkyway)

And you wanna know why they’re great? Most of them you can see their personalities in the image, its not just someone making a pose to show off. If ypu didn’t know the character of the first ones you’d probably just pass it off as just another piece of art, but these last ones get you curious- “who are those characters? Why are they like that?”, and thats what the original characters do to you as well!
My english isn’t the best, but I hope I got my point across to you, have a nice day!


wARREN OR PETER GETTING FLUSTERED WHEN THEIR S/O IS AFFECTIONATE WITH THEM (if u choose Warren: his wings get poofy and his face gets red) ((if u choose Peter: he has leg twitches and tries to laugh it off - nervously so)) —- actual goddess Pascale

I wrote this in attempt to avoid my problems (lol oops) so it’s probably shit, I guarantee it.


“Warren your face is red.”

“Shut up Scott.” Warren grumbled, his face burning as you slid your fingers in his, leaning up to press your lips against his cheek.

“Yeah, shut up Scooter.” You laughed, arms swinging as you walked.

“I’m sick of you two.” Scott said, frowning at the concrete as he narrowly avoided stepping in gum.

“You love us.” You grinned, “And besides, if you’re so sick of us you wouldn’t have dragged us out here. We could be in the mansion, in our own rooms-”

“Don’t finish that sentence.” Scott said, “Please, for the sake of my sanity.”

“-sleeping. In our own rooms, sleeping.” You finished, eyebrow raising “What’d you think I was gonna say? Fucking?”

“Well, yes actually.” Scott said at the same time that Warren said “Duh.”

“You’re both ridiculous.” Jean said, laughing as she plopped down onto the grass, unfolding a blanket.

Jean thought stargazing would be a good idea, that’s why you were all outside at 11:00 o'clock at night.

Warren almost dropped the blanket he was holding, casually tossing it onto the ground before sitting down and pulling you down onto it, wrapping his arms around you.

“You’re cute, you know.” You grumbled, laying back as he did, smushing you into his side and kissing your forehead.

“You’re one to talk.” He whispered, grinning as you slid your arms around him. “You’re the cutest person I’ve ever met.”

You could hear Scott and Jean talking to each other, about fifteen feet away from the two of you, Scott’s arm wrapped around her shoulder ‘casually’, you could definitely tell he just did the yawn then arm around shoulder move. Classic Scooter.

“That’s a lie, you’ve met Kurt.” You said, looking up at him, running your fingers through his hair and letting your hand rest at him jaw. “I like you.”

He looked down at you, with your eyes wide and bright, “I like you too, quite a lot.”

His face started burning when you kept playing with his hair, touching the feathers at the edge of his wings, sliding your fingers into his. He sat up, pulling you up with him, as his wings puffed up and made it hard for him to lay down.

“What’s wrong?” You asked, worried you crossed a line.

“Nuthin.” He grumbled, pulling you into his arms and holding you.

“You’re face is hot.” You grumbled, hands against his cheeks, “Are you feeling well?”

“Yes, ’m fine I swear.” He said, wings twitching slightly as you slid your hand between them, rubbing his nose against yours to make you laugh.

“Angel” he kissed you, “Are you blushing?”

He almost automatically said “No! Why would I be blushing?”

“Whys your face so warm then?” You asked, quirking an eyebrow.

“Maybe because it’s hot outside.” He said, knowing full and well that it wasn’t.

“You’re blushing.” You said, laughing as he groaned “Don’t even deny it, your wings are a giveaway.”

“I’ve been betrayed by my own body.” He groaned, quietly. “You know me too well.”

“Well of course I do, you’re my angel.”

His face burned at the name, his heart swelling, wings puffing, and his eyes crinkling, grinning he said “Yeah I am.”

“Would you guys shut up over there? I’m trying to flirt!” Scott shouted, making both you and Warren jump.

“Oh shut up, Scott.” Warren said, “Just make out already.”