for my sanity's sake

2

It’ll all work out in the end, I won’t leave your side

tips from a grocery store cashier:

  • group the produce, foods, and non-foods (especially chemicals) as you put them on the belt. it makes bagging things way easier.
  • yes, we know they’ve rearranged the store. we can’t find anything either.
  • we know you’ve been standing in line for (insert period of time). we’re going as fast as we can.
  • don’t tell us to open more lanes. if they’re closed, there’s a reason and that reason is probably that we don’t have enough cashiers on hand.
  • we stand for 4-10 hours a day repeating the same conversation over and over and over. forgive us if we forget whether or not we’ve asked about coupons already.
  • if you’re buying alcohol or cold medicine and look under 40, have your id out and ready to go.
  • for the sake of my admittedly slipping sanity, please do not remove your chip card before it makes the ungodly shrieking beep and tell you that you can remove it.
  • if it won’t scan, do not even start to think the word “free”
Day 7

Today I was moved from my usual back lane to one of the express lanes. If you’re like me and think of the store as a whole as the festering pits of hell, then this is the equivalent of moving one level closer to Satan—stiflingly hot, frequent belligerence from higher-ups, and crowds of shuffling dead-eyed people who want nothing more than to find a way out. 


Additionally, when people are forced to pick only ten items to buy, their choices become even more questionable. 

Which brings us to the weirdo of the day from this afternoon:

College-age looking dude-bro in a sleeveless tank and bright pastel shorts approaches my lane. His items? Six boxes of chocolate-covered laxatives (WHICH APPARENTLY ARE A REAL PRODUCT THAT YOU CAN BUY).

Those, and a mop.

Ohhhhhh no.

Me: “Do you want a bag for these today?”

Him: “Nah bro, I can just carry them out.” *leaves*

Him: *returns half a minute later* “Actually, can I have a plastic bag? Like, a couple? I’m gonna need them.”

Me: *full body shudder*

If you identify as a cat, dog, wolf, horse, whatever and have extra loimbs, wings, abnormal fur/skin colors, etc…… you are not therian, you are otherkin.

This is not a bad thing, but the misunderstanding needs to be understood now. Winged wolves or cats are not therians. If it don’t come naturally, it ain’t therian. If you are a winged wolf, or a blue wolf, or a wolf with odd, unnatural colors, patterns, or eyes and you are identifying as therian, you are incorrect. you are otherkin.

Period. End of story. No argument. Don’t even try. Because you will still be wrong.

Awesome Qualities Each MBTI Type Brings to Your Squad

This is my answer to all the “squad” related asks in my inbox (for the sake of time, relevance, and my own sanity).

ENFP: Enthusiasm. Every group needs an ENFP to brighten up what has become dull, boost morale, embrace possibilities, and inspire others to feel like their best selves.

INFP: A moral backbone. Every group needs an INFP to ensure that its members aren’t making questionable ethical choices, while also being open minded and accepting of possibilities.

ENTP: Outside the box thinking. Every group needs an ENTP to challenge everyone to engage in debate, approach issues from new angles, and think in ways they have never thought before.

INTP: Skepticism. Every group needs an INTP to ensure that everyone doesn’t just accept things at face value and embraces theoretical possibilities.

ESFP: Light heartedness. Every group needs an ESFP to lighten the mood, make others feel at ease, and make sure everyone fully engages with the wonderful world around them.

ISFP: Harmony. Every group needs an ISFP to promote a go with the flow attitude, an absence of conflict, and make everyone feel like their individuality is respected.

ESTP: Action. Every group needs an ESTP to make sure the group actually goes out and does fun activities, and inspires others to be bold and spontaneous.

ISTP: Independence. Every group needs an ISTP to remind everyone to not get lost in groupthink and to embrace their personal convictions and interests.

ESFJ: Warmth. Every group needs an ESFJ to create a supportive, secure atmosphere that makes friends feel like they belong and are loved.

ISFJ: Loyalty. Every group needs an ISFJ to support their friends in times of trouble, and act as a solid, warm, and caring pillar to lean on.

ESTJ: Efficiency. Every group needs an ESTJ to be the one to actually organize, take care of practical matters, and get the ball rolling on group activities.

ISTJ: Practicality. Every group needs an ISTJ to remind everyone of what is and isn’t possible, to look before they leap, and to follow through with their commitments.

ENFJ: Motivation. Every group needs an ENFJ to have a vision of what activities would be fun for the group to do, as well as make each individual feel appreciated, comfortable, and inspired to be their best selves.

INFJ: Wisdom. Every group needs an INFJ to deliver advice with a combination of conviction and empathy, and to lead by example through adherence with their ideals.

ENTJ: A plan. Every group needs an ENTJ to cut to the chase, understand the bottom line, and motivate others to set actionable goals.

INTJ: Self-assuredness. Every group needs an INTJ to cut through the bullshit, be sure of their convictions, and motive others to hold themselves to higher standards of personal vision and logic.

I need Bellarke to happen. God, all I ask for Christmas this year is Bellarke. For the sake of my sanity, Bellarke needs to happen or Jason will succeed in proving that two people who are perfect for each other, who watch the other, when the other is unaware, who can read each others minds, who are in his own words “two sides of a coin”, cannot get a happy ending. Love is love even if the person doesn’t realise it’s love. And Jason cannot just ignore it.

If Lexa, who turned up, brought chaos into Clarke’s life, in so short a time managed to be ‘love’ to Clarke, I wonder what Bellamy means to her. Bellamy who has only managed to open up to Clarke at this point. Bellamy who broke when Clarke left. Bellamy who cared for Clarke more than he could ever care for Gina. Bellamy who gets her more than anyone ever has. Bellamy who would follow her to the ends of the earth if she only asked. At this point they cannot just play it out as friendship because that’s such bs I swear to god I’ll riot.

It’s true what she said to Bellamy in 3x13. They need each other. Without one another they fuck up bad, meaning they need to be together. Together. The word means more to them than to anyone else. And it should because that’s the essence of their relationship. One cannot exist without the other.

Bellarke deserves a chance. More than that, it deserves to live and thrive.

4

Who has Mrs Hudson, Greg Lestrade, Molly Hooper and Mycroft Holmes met?

The tables show everyone that each character has met, except extras and very minor characters. Only on screen interaction counts. Phone conversation counts, but texting does not. Fantasy sequences count as if they were real, for my sanity’s sake.

A while ago, I made network maps showing who met whom in each episode of BBC’s Sherlock. I wanted to explore the individual characters as well - who had actually met whom throughout the show? I decided to focus on Mrs Hudson, Greg Lestrade, Molly Hooper and Mycroft Holmes, since they are present in most of the episodes but usually just for a few scenes. Perhaps a visualisation would show some surprising connections that I had missed?

What surprised me most was that Molly had met so many people on screen and that Lestrade are not seen together with Sally Donovan and Philip Anderson as often as I thought. All three of them are actually only seen together in two episodes: A Study in Pink and The Reichenbach Fall.

Fantasy sequences
It may look surprising that Mycroft and Molly meet so many in His Last Vow, but that is because they are in the dream sequence when Sherlock is shot. If I had removed that scene, they would not have met Magnussen, Mary, Anderson or each other. But if I had not included dreams, fantasies and mind palaces, what would I have done with The Abominable Bride? It seemed better to keep them all in.

Meta and discussions?
I haven’t seen many posts about these characters recently, except for this discussion between @ebaeschnbliah, @isitandwonder, @loveismyrevolution​, @darlingtonsubstitution​ and @waitingforgarridebs​. Have I missed any major debates?

Of course, there is always the character meta post by the inimitable @inevitably-johnlocked​, which has some meta on Molly and Mycroft. I’d love to read some speculation about Lestrade and Mrs Hudson as well!

Keep going?
The question is, should I keep going with other characters, and if so, which? Sherlock and John meet almost everyone, so it might be more interesting to make note of who they do not meet. The rest of them are in just a few episodes, so this kind of table might not be the best visualisation choice for that information.

youtube

I don’t know whether to be scared (but supportive) of the fact Ben has another role in mind other than Race or fangirl over the English accent he’s pulling off in this video

For the sake of my sanity, I’m focusing on the second one.

Against All Odds

So guys, I did a thing. Since S4 has been stressing me out so much with ya know, doomsday stuff, I felt like I needed to switch gears. So, I did a thing because I’m absolute trash and I love fan theories. I’ve tried to include some details from the show but like I’m just gonna go in a wild direction here. I’m gonna try and keep it a bit light hearted for my sanity’s sake because again, this season has me freaking out. 

Also on AO3 here

Here we go…


Abigail Griffin felt numb. She felt like she was floating, as if the airlock doors on the ark had suddenly opened and had set her free into the vast reaches of space. She was only vaguely aware of her papers falling to the ground, scattering into a heap of chaos. However, the papers that now covered the floor held no importance compared to the one she held in her small hands. The document was shaking so much that she could barely read it, but she’d only succeed in reading the same set of numbers over and over again anyways. She didn’t want to believe what these numbers told her, but she knew more than well that they told her the truth.

Ever since Raven, Jackson, and herself had formulated the idea of the Nightblood serum, they had been meticulously testing different versions of it to see which one would suit their population the best. Clarke, who had been at the lab for some time now, was the first to receive the test treatment. Much to Abby’s chagrin, her daughter thought that she would prefer something go wrong with her than anybody else. So she had done it, and thankfully,nothing had gone wrong. However, it didn’t exactly work. Murphy and Emori had both received the treatment and nothing had gone wrong, but once again no working serum. After a furious amount of testing on the kids, Abby had decided that they would need to take a new approach. She’d donated plenty of blood to the cause, but still the solution was only an idea. With time quickly running out, they had very limited options. They’d already spent weeks figuring out the right formulas but for some reason when they tried to make it, the serum couldn’t synthesize. Their last shred of hope came from Jackson’s idea to go into space, which they’d tried to put off but it was now their last option. Naturally, Abby volunteered to go to space with Raven, but her body seemed to have other plans.

Things quickly went downhill for Abby when she never fully recovered after donating so much blood for the experiments, she still felt so weak. She’d been feeling ill beforehand, which she had simply associated with mild radiation sickness. Also, these were stressful times, so it would be understandable if her physical condition suffered. But, that wasn’t exactly the case because even after a few day’s rest, Abby only felt worse.

Despite all of her medical experience, she couldn’t truly fathom why. Raven’s condition was slowly getting worse with all of her constant activity and Abby thought that she may start showing symptoms herself. Though what Abby felt was nothing like Raven described. Yes, she had headaches, but they hadn’t caused any sort of seizures yet. Abby didn’t exactly feel energized either. In fact, she was constantly fatigued, which wasn’t exactly normal for her. However, the misery didn’t stop there. Abby felt nauseous every day just before 11 o'clock, again, extremely unusual for her. Once more, Abby never considered this to be anything other than radiation sickness, but even after staying sheltered for a while it hadn’t stopped. And so being the medical expert she is, she sought out answers. She knew that what was left of the ALIE program inside her brain was very minor compared to Raven’s, so she didn’t jump to a brain scan. Instead, she took a blood test. She would need to do one anyways before space travel, so at least this covered many tasks at once and didn’t waste too much time.

And this is where she is caught now, stuck in this one moment over and over. The lab results infront of her, frantically being scanned by her expert eyes told the truth of her condition, and the truth that she wouldn’t be going into space anytime soon. Abby knows exactly what the numbers mean, which is what terrified her beyond belief. She almost wished that the world would just open up below her and swallow her whole. She could chair below her was no more welcoming than the thoughts that ran through her head, and the empty lab only served to make her feel more isolated. Despite the shaking paper in her unstable hands, she the numbers stood out as if they were neon lights. Her hCG levels were high, and they were only rising.

Abby Griffin was pregnant.

MIllions of thoughts had been running through her head for the past five minutes, however all she could do was re red the same set of data. She was in shock, so much so that if someone were to walk in on her they would not even be able to strike up a conversation. “How can I possibly have a child in a world like this? Does Marcus even want to be a father?” Abby still wasn’t quite sure what her and Marcus were. It’s not like they were married, but they weren’t just friends either. Oh, they had crossed that line even before their nine days in Polis. Now thinking about it, she’s surprised that she’d been so blind to her condition. Her and Marcus had spent nine days in Polis becoming much more than just friends. And just before the 100 were sent down to the earth she had decided not replace her contraceptive implant since she hadn’t had any thoughts of re-marrying. She’d assumed, and accepted, that she would be confined to loneliness for the rest of her life and that her grief would forever define her. However, she was wrong and Marcus Kane had slowly burned down the walls to her heart. In the end, Abby hadn’t exactly been monitoring which day her implant would be completely ineffective, but she didn’t feel the need to care either. She was 42 and more worried about staying alive than a silly little chip.

Though it was at times like this when she wished she’d spent less time admiring Marcus’ muscles and more time behaving like a responsible adult. Though in all honesty she wouldn’t trade in that view for anything, but as these terrifying thoughts came crashing down on her in waves of terror, she panicked at the thought of telling Marcus. Without thinking, she let out a sob and rested her head in her hands. Her faint cries stood out against the silence of empty lab. Though Abby didn’t really care. Everyone had had a long day of preparing the shuttle for launch while also preparing some materials so that a couple of them could go home to Arkadia.

She knew that if she wasn’t going to space anymore that she would be returning home.Though she couldn’t really decide if that was a plus or not. It wasn’t until Clarke was in plain sight that Abby was aware that the thundering footsteps in the hall belonged to her daughter.

“Mom? Mom, are you okay” Clarke cried. She footsteps were now quicker and sharper as Clarke ran to her side. Her daughter heaved a sigh of relief when Abby lifted her head from her hands to meet her daughter’s worried gaze. “Oh my god, I thought…”

“No honey, I’m fine,” Abby reassured her. With the remnants of the ALIE program still posing a threat, Clarke had been keeping a close watch on Abby and Raven. In reality, Abby knew she was lucky to have such care, but was it too much to ask for some time alone? “Go back to bed Clarke,” she begged. As much as she tried, she couldn’t stop shaking and her voice was unusually tiny; Clarke obviously wasn’t buying her act. Her daughter only managed to shake her and and pick up the scattered papers on the floor, though Abby interjected. “Clarke, just leave them,” she pleaded as her daughter organized the papers into a pile on the table.

“What’s that one?” She questioned while gesturing to the oh-so-important document that had served to change Abby’s entire world. Both women reached for the paper, but something in Abby broke and she let Clarke take it. She supposed her daughter would figure it out eventually, and quite frankly Abby didn’t have the energy to fight over a piece of paper. She watched as Clarke scanned the page, only to whisper: “Wait, this isn’t a brain scan, this is a blood test.” More tears brimmed in the corners of Abby’s eyes as she waited for Clarke to see the numbers. As much as Abby wanted this to be a secret, she longed to not feel so alone before she could muster the courage to tell Marcus. She could only watch as Clarke’s eyes stopped their skimming motion and settled on one set of data. She watched as her daughter’s mouth gaped open and Abby could only begin to comprehend what was running through Clarke’s head as well as her own. Clarke had done some medical training on the Ark, she would know what the elevated hCG levels would mean. Her daughter’s eyes quickly darted up from the page to meet her gaze, to which Abby could only proceed by looking into her own lap. Clarkes eyes flashed to her mother’s stomach, then back up to her teary eyes.

“Mom… you’re pregnant?” Obviously she was looking for confirmation. Abby couldn’t tell if she was praying to be right or wrong, though she hoped Clarke wouldn’t look down on her for this. Abby wished that she could giver her daughter a strong confirmation, but all she could muster was the strength to nod her head. Clarke didn’t say anything at first, she only eyed Abby and the test results before carefully placing the paper down on the table. Despite their differences, Clarke was still fairly close with her mother and did not hesitate to enclose Abby in a loving embrace. Though this only served to make Abby feel worse, she should be taking care of Clarke. “How will I take care of another child when I can barely care for one?”

“I’m sorry Clarke, I don’t want to make you uncomfortable,” she breathed. When she pulled away from the embrace she wiped away a stray tear with an attempt to steady herself.

“Mom I’m not going to hold it against you or anything. I mean, you’re probably super hormonal right now, right?” Oh, this was getting to be a little awkward. Abby and Clarke were close, but they each had their own little secrets from each other. And for Abby, she didn’t always like to discuss certain health matters very openly to Clarke, or to anybody.

There was a long silence that blanketed the room after her daughter’s comment. As much as there was so much to discuss, Clarke got the sense that Abby didn’t want to talk about much. There was really only one big elephant in the room though. The baby’s father.

“So… I um… I don’t mean to pry mom, but Kane is the father right?” She questioned, but with a sense of assurance, as if she already knew. It’s wasn’t as if their relationship was a complete secret, but nobody knew just the extent of it. Nobody knew exactly what went down during their nine days in Polis even though she knew that their growing relationship wasn’t exactly a secret. Now, if nobody didn’t know already, they would.

“Yes, it’s Marcus’.” Clarke was a little taken back by her confirmation. Not because it wasn’t obvious who the father was, but because how Clarke had grown up watching Abby and Kane constantly at each other’s throats. “All that time we wasted arguing, how nice it would be if we could have it all back.” All the stress that came with her never ending thoughts was just too much for her to handle. She even struggled to look up at her daughter, who wasn’t even angry at all. “I’m sorry Clarke. I hope this doesn’t upset you, I really do… I know I haven’t talked to you about Marcus and myself with you but…”

“Mom, slow down okay. I’m not mad, I’m glad that you’re happy with Kane. You deserve that,” she revealed. Well, that made Abby feel a little better.

“That’s good… good,” she mumbled. “I just, I don’t know if Marcus even wants a child. Hell, I don’t know if I want another child especially with all this chaos that seems to follow us around. I mean, what if I tell him and he wants to terminate, or what if he leaves once the child is born. I… I don’t know what I would do. The logistics of it all, and what if everything goes wrong. There are countless complications, and most of them lead to certain death down here…” She could see the way Clarke eyed her as she paced around the room. Her daughter shouldn’t have to see her like this, Abby was the mother here. But the words, the onslaught of dark thoughts, they wouldn’t stop coming. Abby knew that by this point her frantic speech was incomprehensible, and that she talked so fast she believed she could never come to a stop. Her pacing only quickened, and with each step her breaths became shorter. She only felt herself feel steady again when Clarke came over and grabbed her hands, squeezing them gently. Her daughter didn’t say anything because there wasn’t much to be said. Instead she lead Abby back to the small bedroom she’d claimed in the brief time they’d been at the lab. Thankfully, there was a small living space connected to the main laboratory so it all felt rather luxurious and strangely comforting.

Once she was back to her familiar space her erratic breathing and shaking had stopped, and with it a typical wave of exhaustion set in. With all the commotion, she’d managed to forget that it was still the middle of the night. She separated herself from her daughter’s grasp and sat down on the edge of her bed. As she let her body relax, she flashed her daughter the classic I’m okay look and watched as Clarke acknowledged her request. However, it wasn’t before she left with the last words.

“I think it’ll look better in the morning Mom, you used to always say that to me. You’re just in shock right now and under a lot of stress, so just take some time to think about it all. Tomorrow, let us all handle the heavy lifting, I can cover for you to the others. We’ll be back in Arkadia in a couple of days once the launch is done, then you can talk about it with Kane,” Clarke ordered. Sometimes Abby forgot how much Clarke had grown up on the ground, but it was in moments like this that she suddenly remembered. They would be journeying back to Arkadia soon, taking with them some supplies and small pieces of equipment from the lab. Clarke had told her what had happened in Arkadia with Ilian, but most of the infrastructure was still in tact so the population still resided there. Home, a hell of a place to raise a child. That was where she would find Marcus, her Marcus, waiting for her. God, she’d dreamed of the moment everytime she closed her eyes, just the thought of running towards him warmed her thoughts. Though tonight, she would not be dreaming of Marcus Kane waiting for her in the center of Arkadia. No, she would dream of him standing in the ruins of the place they used to call home, but he would have a wide grin on his face despite his surroundings. Because the only thing that could capture his gaze would be the who resided in tiny bundle of furs cradled in his strong arms.

***

“Abby… I… I don’t know what to say. I mean, congrats to you and Kane though,” Jackson mumbled. He had woken her up once he’d read over her tests results, given to him by Clarke, and had been stripped of all his words.

“Jackson, when you go up-”

“Don’t worry about me Abby, I’ll be fine up there. You’ve already laid out the plans, Raven and I will have this done quickly and next thing you know we’ll be back on the ground. Stress-”

“Isn’t good for the baby, I know. Jackson, you know I don’t doubt your abilities for a second, hell I trained you. But, this is our last chance here, this has got to work.” Abby trusted Jackson, she really did. Her second-in-command had always been an at pupil and was now ready to hold his own. Just now with a little life fluttering inside her, surviving was more than just her and Marcus staying together. It meant a future was promised to her by fate, and she was not ready to let that go. “And stay safe Jackson, I’m gonna need some help in Medical when you get back,” she smirked. She honestly worried for the boy’s safety. After all the time spent together in medical over the years, Abby saw him like family more than anything.

“Right back at you. Please don’t do anything silly, like run in front of a murder drone, before I get back,” he begged. The little smile on his face betrayed his serious tone, but Abby knew that she had to be extra careful now. “And don’t be afraid to tell Kane.”

“Get a move on,” she whispered as she gestured towards the shuttle. She really didn’t want to talk about it now. She still wasn’t sure how e’d react, but she could only hope for the best.

“May we meet again, Abby”

“We will.”

Some days I'm like, "Destiel and Cockles can't exist"...you know, for the sake of my own sanity..

But then other days I see this shit:

Originally posted by i-think-i-m-adorable

Originally posted by winchesterontheroad

Originally posted by imperfectcas

Originally posted by mishaminionlands

Originally posted by geeky-cas

Originally posted by letterjaey

Originally posted by jimisnotagirl

Originally posted by destiel-fan

Originally posted by padaleki

Originally posted by risenhunterfallenangel

And I’m like, “Nope it’s real/they have to be aware of what they’re doing/these fuckers gonna drive me mad!!!”