for my darling emma

In Storybrooke of all places you’d think that Emma’s first conclusion would be ‘something bad happened to him’.  A stable person without such a fear of abandonment would absolutely worry about that first before deciding that they’ve been abandoned.  But Emma,  my poor darling Emma,  this is what ALWAYS happens.  

He just left seems the most logical choice because… they always leave.  



If I focus on that hard enough I can possibly… possibly turn off the caps lock.  




Allen sits down beside Lucien. Lucien softens, lies down, head in Allen’s lap. Passing out from the liquor.
Lucien closes his eyes and passes out against Allen. Allen shakes nervously, finding himself suddenly holding Lucien’s body for the first time.
We follow Allen’s P.O.V. as he plays with Lucien’s hair. Slowly slides his finger down Lucien’s face to his lips.
Lucien’s eyes open. Allen tenses. But Lucien suddenly takes Allen’s finger in his mouth. Sucks on it.

Lucien’s head passed out in Allen’s lap. Allen still petrified. We were just in Allen’s imagination.

Kill Your Darlings (2013)


Feeling left behind by her more successful, settled friends, Emma Swan moves to Scotland on a whim. Sure, she’s winning at Instagram, but something is still missing from her new life. Fortunately, her friends back home are on it. #FindEmmaSwanAFriend goes viral. Enter Killian Jones, reluctant columnist, who is on the hunt for his newest subject, and may just have found her. CS AU

also on

Alright, so this is how it’s going to work, friends. This is the prologue. Whereafter I’ll only be posting one chapter for this story a month. One chapter a month, each month, until the end of the year. But in between those, I’ll also be writing a column. Killian’s column, to be more precise. To complement the narrative, as it were. So 2 things a month. For you. Gratis. Though you’ll actually be getting rather a lot of content this month, seeing as I didn’t make my January posting deadline. So you’ll be getting this, January’s chapter, January’s column, February’s chapter AND February’s column, all this month. Are we all clear? Great. Awesome. Well done.

Tagging @lenfaz


It all started with a proposal.

A lot of things do. They precede any big undertaking, after all. Business deals. Engagements. Murders for hire.    

Or if you’re Emma Swan, they might precede awkwardly comforting your crying ex-boyfriend in the parking lot behind an Italian restaurant after you’ve just broken his heart into little, itty bitty pieces.

Maybe if she’d been the type of girl who’d dreamt of her wedding day since she was a little girl, it all would have gone another way. Her friend, Mary Margaret, was like that. She’d had every single detail of her lavish but intimate ceremony planned out in her head a decade ahead of time, a stash of bridal magazines hidden underneath her mattress, like porn.

Maybe if Emma had been more like that, she would’ve scooped that ring right up off that dessert platter, and wept happy tears as her husband-to-be helped slide it onto her finger.

But she wasn’t. So she didn’t.

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Her ladyship will meet with nothing with kindness and respect in this house. And, apart from such little precautions as may suggest themselves to our good sense, she will be treated as a guest in this house and we will strive to make her happy.

  • Regina: Hey Emma...
  • Emma *confused*: What are you doing here?
  • Regina: Nice to see you too Regina, yes darling I love you so much and you brighten my day...
  • Emma *rolling her eyes*: Yes that...I just meant...normally it's me coming to surprise you.
  • Regina *smiling*: I know...maybe I felt like breaking you out early for a change.
  • Emma: Really? Wait...this isn't a trick or a prank right?
  • Regina: No.
  • Emma: Then why?
  • Regina *grinning*: Because it's Saturday and it's not your shift.

Kaz and Emma in a 1920′s Alphonse Mucha-inspired piece. Part of a cute idea @kelz313 came up with, in which Kaz “Hellmaster” Miller is the tough no-nonsense gangster and Emma is the poor kid he just happens to have the hots for. And Hellmaster Miller always gets what he wants.

The Darling Affair (1/18)

Summary:  Ex-military officer Killian Jones has never forgiven the Gold family for what they took from him. But when his path searching for justice (and maybe revenge) leads him straight to Emma Swan, a social worker who’s young charge has just been kidnapped by Malcolm Gold, he might just learn to let go of the past.

Rated:  T, for violence, kidnapping, some dark themes

Art credit/link: The totally awesome @shady-swan-jones took on the story and made some fabulous art for it.  You can see the art here.

Beta and cheerleader: @delightfully-difficult-pirate and @nothingimpossibleonlyimprobable, thanks so much for all of your help and cajoling and reassuring!

A/N:  I’m so excited (and more than a little nervous) to finally be posting this!  Once upon a time, I thought this was going to struggle to get to 20K… apparently I underestimated the plot a bit…
So here’s the first chapter of my submission for the @captainswanbigbang Big Bang Challenge.  Take it away, It’s going to be a bumpy ride.

We’ll meet Emma in the next chapter, but for now, enjoy meeting Killian and Liam Jones.

Word count:  ~ 4,450 (80K Total in 18 chapters)


Chapter 1: Mission: Success

The sharp, fiery pain that erupted between his shoulder blades caught Killian by surprise and almost – almost – had him gasping in pain.  Quickly, he bit back the instinctual response and sucked air in through his nose to quell the instinct to flee.  Outwardly, it looked as if he barely reacted to the blow, absorbing the force and immediately sitting up straight again as if it were nothing.  A muscle in his cheek twitched due to his clenched jaw, but otherwise, there was no movement.  Killian may have wanted nothing more than to curl away from the pain, but that didn’t matter.  His body may have been telling him to get up from his chair and pace until the sharp sting of half-healed wounds faded back to a dull roar, but he fought the urge.  He may have wanted nothing more than to rail at the man who had caused him to hurt in the first place, but that man was far away and rotting in prison by now.  It had been a very long time since he’d been so undisciplined as to let such signs of weakness show when he was at the office.  

Even to Liam.  

Especially to Liam.  

Killian continued to stare straight ahead and waited patiently.

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The Good the Bad and the Ugly: Music for the Signs

Songs for three different aspects of the signs; the good, the bad, and the ugly. From the good parts of the signs, down to their most hidden cruelties.

The Good: Jenny - Walk the Moon
The Bad: Dear Dictator - Saint Motel
The Ugly: Monster - Kanye West

The Good: Joy to the World - Three Dog Night
The Bad: Good Woman - Cat Power
The Ugly: Civilian - Wye Oak

The Good: Sweet Ophelia - Zella Day
The Bad: The Bad in Each Other - Feist
The Ugly: Kill My Darling - Oh Land

The Good: Bugs - Emma Louise
The Bad: I’m in Here - Sia
The Ugly: Swan Dive - Waxahatchee

The Good: Love You Madly - Cake
The Bad: Dangerous - Big Data
The Ugly: Starring Role - Marina and the Diamonds

The Good: Vanderlyle Crybaby Geeks - The National
The Bad: Perfection - Oh Land
The Ugly: If I Had a Heart - Fever Ray

The Good: Glory - Radical Face
The Bad: Bubblegum Bitch - Marina and the Diamonds
The Ugly: Bad Friends - Big Scary

The Good: Let’s Roll Just Like We Used To - Kasabian
The Bad: Toxic Girl - Kings of Convenience
The Ugly: Feral Love - Chelsea Wolfe

The Good: Eat Your Heart Out - Saint Motel
The Bad - Your Ex-Lover is Dead - Stars
The Ugly: Broadripple is Burning - Margot and the Nuclear So and So’s

The Good: Chicago - Sufjan Stevens
The Bad: Second Life Replay - The Soundtrack of our Lives
The Ugly: Control - Halsey

The Good: 1997 - Megan Washington
The Bad: Cheerleader - St. Vincent
The Ugly: Laughing With - Regina Spektor

The Good: Orange Sky - Alexi Murdoch
The Bad: Sleep Forever - Portugal. The Man
The Ugly: Teen Idle - Marina and the Diamonds

Theoretical (1/1)

Rating: T

Summary: Emma and Killian start fake proposing to each other at restaurants to get free food. It becomes such a regular occurrence that Emma doesn’t notice when the proposal is real. Modern AU.

Author’s Note: Okay, so I said I wanted someone to fic this cute idea for CS but I wasn’t sure if anyone would do it so I decided to do it myself. It was pretty fun to write. This fic has been in my drafts for literally months, and I was nervous to post it, but boyfriendhook insisted that I do. So I’ll dedicate this one to her! Hope you all like it (remember I am very new to the CS ff world)!

It was just an experiment the first time it happened.  Emma and Killian were out getting lunch at fast food restaurant when she mentioned it.

“Oh my God, Killian, would you look at this?” Emma says with her mouth half full of food. Killian chuckles as she hands him her phone with a video pulled up on YouTube.

“This guy proposed to his girlfriend at a Dairy Queen and they got a free ice cream cake!”

He arched an eyebrow at her. “No offense, love, but that sounds utterly ridiculous.”

Emma rolled her eyes and suppressed the smile that was tugging on the corners of her mouth. “Would you just watch the damn video?”

“As you wish,” he says as he presses play. Sure enough, the man did propose to his girlfriend at a Dairy Queen (Emma swears she hears Killian mutter something about how it’s “bad form”) and sure enough, the newly engaged couple is presented with a free ice cream cake.

“See?” she says with a triumphant smile as she takes her phone back from him.

“I still stand by my statement that it’s utterly ridiculous, Swan.”

Emma smirks. “You’re just mad that you didn’t think of the idea first.”

Killian’s eyes meet hers and he immediately senses the determination behind them. She tilts her head slightly and raises her eyebrows. She’s challenging him, and he knows it.

And since when has Killian Jones ever backed away from a challenge?

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endless list of favorite characters (+aesthetics): hermione granger.

“Actually I’m highly logical which allows me to look past extraneous detail and perceive clearly that which others overlook”. - Harry Potter And The Deathly Hallows, J.K Rowling