for me looks a half bad

  • Me: yknow, pink thug wouldn't look half bad if he didn't have that ugly ass grill... or the ski mask... or the neck tat
  • My brain: so what you're saying is he wouldn't look bad if he looked like Joji
  • Me: hmmm yeah

anonymous asked:

kimbap eomma!! 💞 may i request seventeen reacting to their s/o getting a minor but painful injury? i.e. twisted finger, burned their hand, ect. like it's small but looks really bad? lol i had a dream jeonghan was babying me because i burned my pinky and had to have half my hand bandaged.. it was.. a really cute dream.. as usual its okay if you dont feel like doing this, love the blog n allat, have a great day!! 😁💖

Joshua & Seungkwan would get really worried and treat it like a severe injury. “Are you sure you don’t want me to take you to the hospital?!”

Jun, Hoshi, Wonwoo, DK, Mingyu & Vernon would help treat your wound. The bandage would be clumsily wrapped, but it’d make you smile because you know they tried their best.

S.Coups, Jeonghan, Woozi, The8 & Dino would tell you to be more careful next time. They’d scold you for not looking after yourself, even if you’ve told them over and over it’s nothing big. They just don’t want you getting hurt, not matter how small the injury.

thank you for your request!!

Ladrien June Day 15: Fear

It’s clear from all of the anti-recovery on this site that a lot of kids have this weird false idea about what recovery actually is. 

For those of us who are chronically ill, mentally ill, disabled, struggling with addiction, etc, recovery isn’t, “HOO I DID A THING AND NOW I’M ALL BETTER 100% JUST NORMAL LOOK AT ME!” like someone getting over a cold or getting their tonsils removed. 

Recovery is the rest of your life. 

Literally recovery is every day forever. 

It’s hard work. It’s a process. It’s management. It’s good days. It’s bad days. It’s faces dirty with tears. It’s relapses. It’s disappointment. It’s falling down.

But it’s also getting back up. Again and again. 

Today I might fall five steps behind. But tomorrow if I take one half-step forward, that’s recovery. 

Stop mocking recovery. Please. Don’t call us neurotypical or abled like an insult, like we don’t belong or don’t get to speak because we’re proactive and put our all into our health. That’s shitty. 

Don’t take that away from us. Let us try to be well to our best ability. Let us reduce suffering. Let us be strong and let us be weak. 

Just let us be.

Bitty grew up with a poster of Viktor Nikiforov on his wall

At some point, an inhuman shriek comes from the kitchen of the apartment in Providence.

Jack runs, half-dressed after his shower-

And finds Bitty sitting at the breakfast table, staring at his phone in outrage.

‘VICTOR NIKIFOROV GOT MARRIED! TO ANOTHER MALE FIGURE SKATER!’

‘…is that a good or a bad thing?’

‘That was MY fantasy! I was supposed to win all the gold and meet and fall in love and marry Victor! That’s SO unfair! Just because Japan is closer to Russia-’

‘Bitty. Bittle. Bits. You’re already married. To me.’

‘Let my inner fifteen year old self express himself, Jack!’

On the concept of Soulmate AUs

You know what I’m tired of? Soulmate AUs with the protagonist/antagonist ship as the main pairing that always has the villain who reacts the best to the situation, and the hero freaking out.

What I want to see is a hero who gets it, who understands that yeah, their soulmate may kind of be a murdering psychopath, but that’s cool, they can deal with that, they can live through it, but what’s not cool is them totally looking the other way and avoiding the hell out of them.

Give me the realisation that they’re soulmates in the middle of a fight, when they’re bloody and bruised and tired and they just slip, skin on skin contact, and then the whole world just shifts into place.

“This can’t be happening.”

“Have you every heard of opposites attract?”

“I’m going to kill you.”

“But- Okay, yeah, we’re doing this.”

Give me a brutal fight that ends with a “Since when do my attacks hurt this much?” and the villain slowly realising that they can’t kill themselves out of this situation, that they can’t escape this because they’re soul bonded to a kid with a hero complex who is constantly trying to thwart them and is now for some reason grinning at them like a lunatic because they supposedly belong together. And damn does suddenly being able to feel emotions and pain that wasn’t his sting, because he has enough shit to deal with on his own without the added pressure, thanks.

Give me snarky comments and miniature fights in the middle of the night when the hero catches the antagonist coming back from who knows where, bloody and in pain and maybe a little too bust up, to say they won the fight.

“You usually look happier to see me.”

“You killed someone this morning.”

“What gave it away?”

“You mean besides the fact that you’re covered in blood and I felt every moment of it?”

Give me the villain slowly getting used to the idea that hey, they’re sort of going to have to put up with this little ray of sunshine for a while even though he kind of hates his guts and wants to kill him, but also give me the villain wondering what they ever did to deserve this. What could they possibly have done that was so great, so obscenely terrifyingly amazing that they could be soul bonded to a person like this, someone so innocent and righteous and downright beautiful that half of it seems like a mad dream?

“Not every bad guy has a tragic past.”

“But you do. I’ve seen it.”

“I’m going to punch you.”

“That would be counterproductive to what we’re doing here.”

“…”

“That hurt you as much as it hurt me.”

“Worth it.”

Give me tempers flaring and bristling arguments and the hero getting so tired, but still carrying on, not because they think that there’s some good in the antagonist or because they think they can change them, but because this is their soulmate, the person that the fates chose for him, his other half, someone that he had to protect and look after and love, because if not him, then who else was going to?

“I am going to hurt you. I’m going to rip out your intestines and strangle you with them.”

“You’ve been pretty good today. That’s three less death threats than yesterday.”

“Prepare to have your balls removed with a butcher’s knife and shoved down your throat, asshole.”

“I’m still counting this as progress.”

Give me the antagonist not realising the reality that this isn’t someone who wants something from him, who wants to change him, use him, abuse him, but rather someone who just wants to be with him, love him. Give me an antagonist who can’t understand the concept that somebody might actually care.

“I thought this was what you wanted! The sex, the cuddling, the stupid hand-holding. What more could you want from me?”

“I don’t want anything from you.”

“Yes you do. They always do! Just tell me what you want and you can have it. Just leave me alone, please. I can’t take this anymore.”

“I want you to trust me, to believe me when I say that I love you.”

“You’re only saying that because of the bond.”

“No, I’m not. I’ve seen everything that you have, felt what you feel, heard what you’ve heard. Maybe at first, a little, it was just because of the bond, but then I fell in love with you, the real you, the one behind all the fronts that you put up.”

“I don’t believe you.”

“I didn’t expect you too, but you will, one day. I’m not giving up on you.”

Give me the hero facing shit from their friends and family, because they don’t understand why they’re trying so hard and putting up with so much shit, even though he’s his soulmate, but the hero just shrugging and smiling because they get it, and it doesn’t matter if everyone else doesn’t.

“He threatens to brutally mutilate you constantly.”

“I like to believe it’s how he expresses his affections.”

“He tried to kill you so many times.”

“There was only the once after we found out about the bond, though.”

“You’re making excuses now.”

“It’s just that there’s so much anger in him, all of the time. I don’t know how anyone could live like that. I want to help him.”

“You’re going to get yourself killed.”

“That’s not my biggest concern anymore. He is.”

Give me a hero who tries so, so hard, and a villain who, despite everything, slowly gives in. Give me quiet nights laid in bed or watching the stars, no words and only their hands touching, just the sensation of palm against palm enough. Give me heated arguments, rage, unsteady headiness at the realisation that they’re not going to leave each other, no matter what happens.

Give me a soulmate AU where the hero doesn’t react badly, isn’t scared or hateful that their soulmate is their arch nemesis, the big bad guy, the villain they can never seem to get rid of, because really they should have expected that all along. Because no one hates that much without there being a little something more behind it.

4

[Sighs.] Looks like I’m having a chat with Cora. And probably Lexi.

2016 memes

2016 memes

January:
•bad new year jokes
•if a dog wore pants would he wear them like this or this
•all these suggestion blogs
•orange soda please
i’ll have the strawberry soda
me too, the strawberry soda
•You fucked up a perfectly good x is what you did. Look at them. They got anxiety.
•kylo ren is shredded
•Jared Leto: *does something*
Director: oh my God…it’s like…is he Jared…or Joker right now?????
•tag yourself
•super mario 64 half a press
•this is x. be like x

February:
•the finebros suing something
•secret government agent: *punches me in the face* SAY IT
me: never
secret government agent: x
me: *spits blood in their face* fUCK YOU
•bernie or hillary things that have a ridicilous issue and even funnier answers
•jean something, jomething
•damn daniel
•ted cruz is the zodiac killer

March:
•the dad from kuzco being like 👌
•kazoo kid
•everyone who watched zootopia is a furry
•history of japan
•x or y? *insert similiar pictures here, like donald trump and raw chicken*
•get you a man that can do both
•going to papaw’s house for burgers
•no oscar meme is dead meme
•we dem boyz
•i’m you but stronger

April:
•marge simpson
•different variations of the hs panel where jade picks up the note
•tumblr’s lizard voting
•everyone’s a dirty homestuck
•lot of those powerpuff selves
•baby stevens
•ruining someone’s dream journal
•there’s no way out of it you’ll just have to decapitate me
•autocorrect in verbal conversation
person1: i love you
person1: *hate
person2: this is a verbal conversation
•WHAT WE REALLY AREEE
•don’t talk to me or my son ever again
•dark x show me y

May:
•dan backslide (and dover boys)
•dat boi
•stone age spongebob

June:
•are you x or y person? (tag yourself meme in text format)
•get a man who can do both is getting more popular again
•it’s june where the fuck are halloween memes???

July:
•america memes
•IT’S HALLOWEEN
•the vacuum cleaner playing a harmonica
•associating characters/songs/etc. with spongebob screenshots
•this👏emoji👏after👏every👏word
•(any videogame) go, go outside and x
•a picture of something with text, and more pictures after that, in every one of the pictures the picture starts getting waaay worse, but the text gets really detailed
•HANDSY👏CLAPSY👏IS👏A👏NEW👏TROLLSONA👏
•judge: how do you plead?
x: *looks at y*
y: *mouths ‘not guilty’*
x: hot milky
y: jc just lock them up
•hitting the blue button

August:
•arthur screenshot where his hand is a fist
•9-1-1 for kids
•Exeggutor
•harambe
•RANDY YOUR STICKS
•sausage party
•how (character) are you feeling today? *numbers from 1 to ten with silly pictures of the character*
•alola form

September:
•the thing with voltron fandom where there’s train tracks and “death in season 2” and two characters and u have to choose which one to kill
•someone: a basic word
me, an intellectual: that word said with synonyms to make it sound weird
•gonna prank dad when he gets home ((he never gets home))
•[song] but it keeps getting faster

October:
•userboxes
•the presidental debate, i can’t believe that there still are people who want to vote trump after that, yikes
•dedede
•you vs the guy she told you not to worry about
•photofunia retrowave
•picture of someone with those math things
•my longest yeah boy ever
•taking a picture of something that requiers two hands in a bathroom
•posting ur favourite vines

November:
•christmas stuff
•dick: out
•sir, you’ve been in coma
•kermit with a hood on his head
•blurred image that says perfection, after that an image where glasses are being cleaned, and then something u like
•WE ARE NUMBER ONE

December:
•BODE
• *picture of really basic or bad food with text that’s spelled wrong and the phrase “bon appetit” is spelled even more wrong"
•*dropping something, and it spells send nudes*
•x but every time y happens it gets faster
*bee movie but every time they say bee it gets faster
•several spongebob memes
•i described the meme about bad pictures with detailed text in july, it’s wildly popular now
•dramatic youtubers

apparently i missed a few things so, additions:
•steven’s knife
•joe biden
•aux chord
•dabbing
•a lot of spongebob memes, like the blurry mister crabs
•nebby get in the bag
•clowns
•harambe happened earlier than it says on the list
•several stranger things memes
•we die like men

Love like you

I see people still talking about who this is meant to be about, and I think its about everyone. The lyrics can really apply to almost anyone, especially the main characters.

If I could begin to be half of what you think of me, I could do about anything, I could even learn to love.

When I see the way you act wondering when I’m coming back I could do about anything, I could even learn how to love like you.

I always thought I might be bad now I’m sure that it’s true.

Cause I think you’re so good and I’m nothing like you.

Look at you go I just adore you

I wish I knew what makes you think I’m so special

If I could do something that does right by you,

I would do about anything, I would even learn how to love.

When I see the way you look, shaken by how long it took

I could about anything I could even learn how to love like you

Love me like you…

Ya girl is back with some head canons because the last one went pretty well so let’s try this out.

Sunday mornings/sundays with the OTP.

•spending all morning in bed doing absolutely nothing besides watching bad TV and marveling at each other

•lazy morning sex

•sunday pancakes with one half of the OTP cooking and the other half commenting on the others ass as they cook.

•"yeah babe you show that pancake it’s your bitch"
“I can’t with you.”

•lazy days in pjs sprawled out on the couch watching movies

•"I’m too tired to moovveee"
“I’m not carrying you.”
“WHY DONT YOU LOVE ME?”

•staying in bed all day, refusing to leave for anything but food and the bathroom.

•being grossly in love and happy with each other’s company.

•person A) “You look so amazing, I can’t be anymore in love with you it’s impossible” Person B: *just woke up, hairs a disaster, has syrup on their face, drinking coffee angrily* “Are you blind?” “Blinded by love” “You’re too dramatic for your own good… but I guess I love you too”

•kisses all the time, seriously, just lots of sloppy kissing on the couch, in bed, making lunch just these assholes are in LOVEEE ok.

•along with sex, there’s a healthy dose of just talking, enjoying each other’s company, doing stuff as normal as cleaning the house becomes some dramatic declaration of love.

Add more if you like!

So yeah maybe I ran out of questions but you ran out of answers.
where the fuck were you when i was half drowned in a bottle of whiskey just asking for a text back?
where the fuck were you when life crawled under my skin and tore itself out from the inside?
where the fuck were you when I was going through it last November and you said looking at pain this close made you uncomfortable?
where do you get off with telling me I shouldn’t talk to him and that he’s bad and he only cares about one thing when the only goddamn time you were interested in me is when my clothes were off and yours were too
look at this game we played because it never was that to me but you only just now put your cards down so you could hold her fucking hand and
i can’t be mad about it I can’t feel it in my chest like a jolt of electricity i can’t beg for you to come back when you were never even here so
yeah
maybe i ran out of questions
but only when you stopped fucking answering them.
—  so block me again we’re not even friends– lily rain
Sober

2,500 Followers Oneshot

Summary: The reader is drunk and she tries to have sex with her best friend Jensen.

Prompt: “Why are you in my bed?!”

Pairing: Jensen x Reader

Word Count: 1,757

Requested: @supernaturalgirl85


Jensen tiredly drudges up the stairs in his Malibu home, grumpy as all hell. He just lost $2,000 at a poker game and it’s safe to say that he’s ripshit.

Although he’s not concerned about actually losing the money, being a successful movie director has set his ass up for life.

It’s just the fact that he lost. He’s a competitive fucker, always has been and always will be. It’s in his DNA.

And to add fuel to the fire, his friends refused to give him another chance to win back his money. Claiming it’s too late and they needed to call it a night. It’s only midnight for Christ’s sake. Old bastards.

Keep reading

MVP Bird

Context: Same person as from the ‘non-lethal arrow to the head’ thing. This was from the same session. My Ranger (a half-elf) has a Goshawk companion she uses for scouting. For this particular scenario, I’m trying to send the bird to check out a camp over a hill to check if it’s travellers or Bandits, and before that I also rolled a Nat 17 on spotting the Camp in the first place with the bird.

Me: Can’t I tell Fluffball (that’s the bird’s name) to like… hop twice if it’s bandits? Would they even understand that?

DM: Um.. Roll an intelligence check for Fluffball.

Me: [Nat 20]

DM: ….. Well then. You see a look of concentration in your birds eyes, like you have never seen before, and it’s kind of unnerving. Fluffball looks at you, then nods, before flying off. You can barely make them out as a speck in the blue sky, doing circling motions for a good five minutes above the camp. Ok, now roll a perception check for Fluffball.

Me: Aight. [rolls ANOTHER Nat 20]

The entire party: [starts losing their shit, laughing loudly and wheezing]

Artificer Drow: Holy shit, Fluffball! MVP bird!

Me: [sputters and wheezes with laughter]

DM: When they return, they land on your arm, and through a series of hops, squawks and flaps - think of a bee’s dance telling you where the honey is - to tell you that these are bandits, they look bad, they smell bad, there may be something in cages, and they have weapons.

Me: [barely containing my laughter]

Artificer: Ok, but, would this all kind of look like Fluffball doing a mating dance to the rest of us?

Me: [starts laughing loudly]

DM: Yes. Definitely, yes. You watch Adrie (my half-elf Ranger) kind of hold their chin thoughtfully, going 'yes, yes. oh really? very interesting.’, while Fluffball does what they’re doing.

Accuse me of not working my full 40, we'll see about that.

(long story: tl;dr at the end)

My job received some dramatic changes with the labor law changes from late last year. While it’s not technically law right now, my company is enforcing our policy to test the waters and see how it works for us. Basically this means, I can only work 40 hours a week. No overtime approval is available. Any days we work over 8 hours we have to use compensated time (comp time) to even it out. To help maintain office coverage we have meetings to plan our comp time.

To clarify, we can only use our comp time only on Tuesdays, Wednesdays, and Thursdays since we need a full staff on Monday and Fridays to assist our sales team. Also we can’t use it to come in late or leave early. So basically we’re left with taking long lunches (2.5-3 hours sometimes) right in the middle of the work day. But randomly, they’ll give us full days off when we work 6:30-7 hours on a weekend (which is nice, but this also is creating productivity problems). The staff who are a part of this have grown very frustrated because these long lunches are interfering with our work, meetings, appointments, and for the commuting staff they have to sit in their office for a long period of time and do nothing. Finally after a few months of this ineffective system, we told our CEO that we need to discuss some changes we think would make this better for everyone. He meets with our Exec Team and they agreed to attend our comp meeting to discuss things.

So, this Monday we all walk into the meeting with some level of hope. At the very least we’ll be heard and be able to say that we’d like to be able to come in a little late or leave a little early when things are slower. Our CEO explains his view on comp time and then a co-worker of mine explains how it isn’t working for us and it’s causing problems. Now our CEO is normally a chill guy, but he used an angry and defensive tone I’ve never seen before and went on a 15 minute rant about comp time. His rant included:

Keep reading

Steven Universe Sentence Starters !

Most of these are songs, but some are quotes. You’re welcome to change the pronouns as you see fit!

  • “If every pork chop were perfect, we wouldn’t have hot dogs.”
  • “Love at first sight doesn’t exist, love takes time and love takes work.”
  • “All comedy is derived from fear.”
  • “Who cares how I feel? How you feel is bound to be much more interesting.”
  • “I never asked to be made!”
  • “I love cookie cat!”
  • “All I wanna be is someone who’s seen a giant woman.”
  • “Why do you have to look up to her?”
  • “I’m telling you for your own good and not because I’m-… jealous.”
  • “I can show you how to be strong in the real way.”
  • “I didn’t even get to know my Mom!”
  • “Squared pizza?! This place is evil!”
  • “I’m not like the other guys.”
  • “In this whole wide world there’s no one like you.”
  • “Could this night get any better?!”
  • “Isn’t it such a beautiful night?”
  • “Let yourself just be whoever you are.”
  • “We’re on the run.”
  • “Wish that I could see that there’s no better place than home…”
  • “I don’t care about what all the others say!”
  • “You people have too much money.”
  • “Well she’s a rip tide queen and she’s super mean.”
  • “I just showed them I don’t got the stuff.”
  • “I tried so hard to fly but I was thrown.”
  • “Have a little faith in me!”
  • “I just wanted to help…”
  • “Some… say I have no direction. That I’m a light speed distraction…”
  • “This is the final frontier.”
  • “Life in the stars is all I’ve ever known.”
  • “I know in my heart it’s been worth it all of the while.”
  • “They’re playing sword. Oh sorry, they’re playing with swords. Oh no they’re bleeding. And they’re dead. Don’t call again.”
  • “Oh! Um… I don’t exactly… eat.”
  • “Is that a weapon?”
  • “Welcome to earth.”
  • “Do you believe in destiny?”
  • “Close your eyes and leave the rest to me.”
  • “What are you doing here?”
  • “What are you doing to me?”
  • “You’re wearing that tee shirt!”
  • “What can I do for you?”
  • “What can I do that no one else can do?”
  • “You are so much fun~”
  • “I hadn’t planned on finding you… quite this entertaining~
  • “I like playing along~”
  • “I can’t believe I just got that on video!”
  • “Quit embarrassing yourself!”
  • “I’ve seen who you really are…”
  • “I ain’t gonna follow your rules.”
  • “Let’s go, just me and you.”
  • “Go ahead and try to hit me if you’re able.”
  • “I think you’re just mad cause you’re single~”
  • “I am made of love.”
  • “I’m stronger than you.”
  • “I won’t let you hurt my friends!”
  • “This is who I am.”
  • “I don’t want that for you…”
  • “What if somehow you get hurt?!”
  • “I have to protect you…”
  • “You’re better not knowing the trouble I’m in.”
  • “You don’t have to be a part of this; I don’t think I want you to be.”
  • “I don’t want you to worry about where I just was or what I just saw.”
  • “You don’t need this… You don’t need me.
  • “C’mon and share this jam with me!”
  • “I’d do it for you.”
  • “I’d do it for him/her.”
  • “Balance is the key.”
  • “Keep your eyes on me.”
  • “Concentrate! Don’t you want him/her to live?!”
  • “Just try and think about the life you’ll have… together after the war!”
  • “When you live for someone you’re prepared to die.”
  • “Maybe you’re better off with him/her…”
  • “I think he’s/she’s better for you.”
  • “I guess I got carried away…”
  • “Is there something I can do to make it up to you?”
  • “I see a tower built out of my mistakes and it all comes crashing down…”
  • “I don’t wanna do this!”
  • “I can’t help it if I make a scene~”
  • “I’ve got a pair of eyes that they’re getting lost in~”
  • “Everybody needs a friend and I’ve got you and you and you! So many I can’t even name them, can you blame me? I’m too famous~”
  • “Haven’t you noticed I’m a star?”
  • “What do I do with all this money, when all I want is you?”
  • “How do I spend all this money? I’d rather just spend time with you.”
  • “Let’s go to _____!!! And let’s bring _____!!!!”
  • “100 bucks? Gee thanks!”
  • “Dance with me!”
  • “NO!!!”
  • “After all those years I never thought I’d lose…”
  • “It’s over, isn’t it?”
  • “You won and he/she chose you…”
  • “Now they’re gone…”
  • “Who am I now in this world without him/her?!”
  • “What does it matter?! It’s already done!”
  • “Why don’t you talk to each other?”
  • “I know you’re trying to avoid it, but I don’t know why.”
  • “You might not believe it, but you’ve got a lot in common. You really do.”
  • “You both love me and I love both of you.”
  • “If I were you, I’d hate me too.”
  • “I don’t hate you…”
  • “I now you both need it, someone who knows what you’re going through.”
  • “_____ don’t cost nothing.”
  • “Don’t tell me, sing me!”
  • “Look at everything you do. Look at everything you are. It’s incredible, as incredible as you.”
  • “It’s a full time job admiring all the ways that you’re inspiring.”
  • “I think I need a little change.”
  • “I always did believe that love is all you need to be a happy man/woman.”
  • “Here comes a thought.”
  • “If I could begin to be half of what you think of me, I could do about anything, I could even learn how to love.”
  • “I’d like to learn how to love like you.”
  • “I always thought I might be bad now I’m sure that it’s true; Cause I think you’re so good, but I’m nothing like you.”
  • “Look at you go! I just adore you! I wish that I knew what makes you think I’m so special…”
"Being Fuckable Does Not Mean Being Date-able." [Dylan O’brien] Pt. 1

THANK YOU FOR 1k FOLLOWERS GUYS!!!! This is probably the last request I’ll ever do. And it’s from a long time ago. Sorry. Requests kind of give me writers block because of the certain plot that has to go with it so forgive me if I never got to yours, but enjoy this last one because after this I will just write what comes to mind! MY BOX IS STILL OPEN FOR COMMENTS OR QUESTIONS THOUGH!!! 


anon: Heyyy buddy I think you writing is amazing could you do one where the reader is drunk and at a party Dylan had to take her home and she accidentally tells him that she likes him then the morning after he confronts her about it.

My eyes were very focused on my ipad settled below my chin. Laying on my stomach, I felt my shoulders begin to cramp. I grabbed my ipad and laid my back on the pillows trying to desperately finish the story before I start to get ready for my plans later. I had a guilty pleasure, it was reading dirty stories, Dylan somehow never teased me about it, but from time to time he did laugh a little. 

“Are you reading smut again?” Dylan’s voice rang through my ears. I forgot he was beside me now curiously looking over to see what I was doing. 

“Yes and?” He put his hands up in defense as his eyebrows worked their way closer to each other.

“Nothing Rachel Green.”

“Shut up Joey.” I said responding to his ‘Friends’ reference, the episode where Joey found out Rachel was reading a dirty book. My eyes scanned the paragraphs as I was trying to get back to where I was, “How come you read smut when you literally can get sex whenever you can, “

My attention was very much now on him already knowing what was coming. His eyes wandered and paused directly at my lips. It’s like he realized his stare was starting to affect me that he tilted his eyes back to mine.

“Uh, what I mean is that I’ve seen you do it.” He explained in order for me to not interpret it wrong.

Was he serious? Well because Dylan, you are my best friend, and when I read these books I picture you in them with me but I know fucking your best friend would be weird for you. 

That’s what I should of said, but instead the words jumbled up into,

 “Because it’s entertaining to see the climax and story of the couple right before they fuck, and even staying for the resolution after.” I stated, not even bothering to look at him any longer with the intent of wanting to jump every bone of his body as I kept reading further.

I could see his hands intertwining together as both of them were playing around with each other between his legs. His eyes kept directing at me as if waiting for me to answer sincerely.

“Okay because I have needs Dylan! Did you really want me to say that I get horny a lot?” I rolled my eyes as his smile plastered pure satisfaction after I fezzed up.

“But horny of what? Just go have sex? There’s something you’re not telling me here.” He paused.

 “Better yet,  just fuck me.” he shrugged. He always flirted as a joke so casually  and it irritated the hell out of me. 

For us, saying, ‘fuck me’ is a regular one on one jokingly flirting with each other thing. We always joke sexually but lately it was becoming hard for me to just act like I didn’t want him to pound into me. I had it bad for my ‘best friend’. 

These love stories with smut in them focused on two things I wanted most, Dylan’s affection and his- well, dick. I didn’t want to be just friends anymore, I wanted something real with him. I read the cliche wattpad books with the plot of best friends falling for each other, pathetic in my situation, believe me, I know.

“No.” I rolled my eyes for the second time hinting at him to stop and wasn’t in the mood for casual jokes.

“You wouldn’t fuck me?” His hand went over his chest pretending to be insulted. I was getting really sick of this, I was ready to snap. He wanted to play? Alright Let’s play.

I pressed the button on the corner of my ipad for it to rest, I could feel stare behind me as he watched me place it on the night stand. All the attention was on him now,

“You know, what? I wouldn’t mind doing something right now. And since you keep interrupting me..” His curious eyes followed my actions.

“Let’s have sex.” I could of sworn that if he had water right now he would spit it right out. His eyes were left in shock to what I had just mentioned which caused me to smirk. I never responded to his jokes, I usually just laughed or rolled my eyes, but it was annoying me now. He needed to learn a lesson.

 After several rapid blinks he managed to let out a stutter, “I- do you like me?” A huge smile on his face suddenly appeared, His hand started to caress my cheek. Did he think I was joking?

His question caught me by surprise so I stepped back a little. I was terribly afraid of his rejection. If he didn’t feel the same way, everything would be ruined. 

“What? No!” I laughed it off, “Dylan, I said I would fuck you, because let’s admit it, you are hot. But an emotional attachment? Hell no. You’re my best friend?” That is not what I wanted to say at all, but I did not want to be humiliated. His face dropped and went back to a careless expression, his eyes turned darker and they broke contact with mine as his hand extracted from my face.

“Being fuck-able does not mean being date-able.” I leaned forward as I made my way across him. My legs were now snaking around his waist as he was sitting down gasping at my every movement as I sat down on him quickly.

 “What’s wrong? Tired of all the sexual jokes?” My lips whispered into to his ear. “Cause I am.” I said lower, “You should put them to the test.” Just as I was about to lean a tad bit close to his lips, his hands grabbed my chin and stopped me.

“Can you just drop it? I get it, I got a taste of my own medicine.” He grabbed my arms in a careful way but shoved me softly off him. He was heading out of my door, as he turned around not even looking at me, suddenly he had such interest in his phone. It’s what he does when he’s mad or annoyed. He avoids eye contact with me and goes on his phone/

“Don’t forget we planned a night out today, I’ll come by at eight.”

And with that he rushed out of my house leaving me utter shock. What was with the sudden attitude? His cold answers really started to made me wonder if I made him uncomfortable with my reaction. He has rejected to fuck me? Of course I wasn’t going though with it but he left before I finished.

It stung so bad. As if I wasn’t good enough to have sex with? My ego was getting to me but I couldn’t help but feel embarrassed of this whole situation. He thought he got a taste of his own medicine? He hasn’t seen the half of it. He wasn’t getting away with embarrassing me that easy.

**

Four hours later passed and It was almost eight. I made sure to look extra tonight, cause I was an extra bitch. The knocks on the door soon startled me. He came twenty minutes later than he said but I was okay with it.

 He was moody again. He stood a few more seconds at the door, “are we leaving?” still typing on his phone.

“Yes, i just need to get my purse and put on lipstick. Are you just gonna stand there and wait?” His eyes shot up and once he got a hold of the sight, he stared up and down at me. I was wearing a short black tight dress as my black heels complimented it. My hair was straightened, and I hardly straighten it. I go more for the curls usually. My make up was the same yet I added wing eyeliner.

He gasped for about ten seconds as he moved his hand up on down his lip. “Why are you wearing that?” He quickly rushed to my couch as he grabbed a cushion and somehow put it on his lap. He was fidgeting a bit, a normal person wouldn’t notice but I just paid too much attention.

“I’m going to try to get fucked tonight, you’re right. I shouldn’t be reading things about it I should just go get the real thing.” I replied coldly.

“You know I was kidding about that. Read all the porn you want.” He winked playfully.

“Cute.” I laughed mockingly. His expression turned cold again as he rolled his eyes. “Fine. Um I’m going to wait in the car.” 

“Kay.” This time I didn’t bother to look back as he left to his car. His annoying mood swings were getting on my nerves.

When we got to the club, Dylan’s grip was hesitant, as if he didn’t want to let me go and enjoy myself. “Let’s go dance!” His eyes landed on my dress again, “ Yeah let’s not. Let’s go get a drink or two first.” His grip was still on my waist.

I could see his protective side coming out, and it was irritating to say the least. “Fine.” I fake smiled to show him I was annoyed. 

Six shots later, it was finally kicking in. I was already heading to the dance floor, I could tell Dylan was watching from a far. His eyes rolled so far back every time he saw me interact with a guy, it was ridiculous.

It didn’t take long before he saw I was a little too drunk that I couldn’t keep up with my feet. “Alright, we should go now.”  He gently intertwined my arm with his as he took us to the exit. 

“Dylan! I was about to get some tonight, now they’re going to think you’re like my boyfriend and not want to talk to me!”

“Good.” He lead us towards his car. “How much did you drink?” I asked as we both got inside.

“I drank other beverages, I’m the designated driver remember.” He said harshly. I didn’t say one word to him the whole ride home, but I could tell we were going to his since it was closer. He was being so rude that every time he spoke, my heart ached a bit more.

The silence wasn’t awkward, he knew when something was bugging me so he just doesn’t add to it.

When the car stopped at his house I was afraid of facing him because there was a tear that escaped my eye and I swiped it quickly off. if I said anything he would still notice because of my shaky voice.

“Y/N.” His voice said from a distance but I blocked it out as I kept looking down at my shoes.

“Hey Y/N. Are you crying?” Dylan scooted closer as he cupped my cheeks. 

“You’ve been so distant this whole day after I made a move on you. I mean I get it, we’re best friends and you’d never go for more than that. You’d never love me the way I love you, but the fact that you don’t see me as a desirable person? It’s worse than punching me in the face.”

 I felt my sadness overcome me as my sleepiness mixed with it. My eyes started to close as my tears still kept streaming out.

“And it hurts Dylan.” I managed to say in my sad, sleepy voice. “It hurts so much because I want to be your everything, and seeing you that disgusted of me just teared me.” And sleep soon consumed my brain I was out with my as the water droplets from my eyes barely started to dry. Guess crying yourself to sleep is a real thing?

Dylan however was very much awake. He was speechless, and he was positive I wasn’t going to remember a thing in the morning.

The confronting will be in the second part!

Writing Is Hard

Summary: Dean finds the blog you use to read smutty fan fiction. And of course, he decides he can write a better story about himself. You help.

Warning: Smut, some dirty talk, mutual masturbation, all kinds of fan fiction clichés

Word Count: 4350

A/N: This is all written with love for fan fic. I’m teasing, not putting it down in any way. And thanks to @littlegreenplasticsoldier​ for being a great beta and being generally flawless. Hope you enjoy! XOXO


No. This isn’t happening.

This is one of those moments you’d had weird nightmares about, dreams that left you embarrassed and feeling all icky the next day until you finally convinced yourself that it wasn’t real. And just like those moments, this one will end any second now. You’ll wake up in some motel bed, Dean will be in the next room with Sam, asleep or showering or eating or anything but standing over your laptop with that look on his face.

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