for me it looks like some sort of giants

Silly Bat’ - Bruce Wayne x Reader

Just a short silly fic BECAUSE WHY NOT RIGHT ?! I like to imagine that when Bruce doesn’t have the stress of taking care of Wayne Inc or of his nightly activities on his back, he’s just a very funny and kinda weird man…So I wrote something about it, hope you’ll like it

Awesome fan art of this story here : clickclickclick by @demigodslytherin.

(My masterlist blog here : https://ella-ravenwood-archives.tumblr.com)

__________________________________________________

There were times, when it was just you and Bruce, where you genuinely wondered if your husband wasn’t completely crazy. 

Not in a bad way. Not in a “Joker” or “Harley Quinn” way. Nooooo. In a “that man is completely silly, and I’m really starting to question his sanity…is he on drugs ? Drunk ? I don’t know, but it’s funny” way. Yes. Exactly in that way. 

Often, when it was just the two of you, behind closed door, he would…loosen up. And not just a bit. He would loosen up completely and go on full “goofball mode”. 

You couldn’t count the number of times he started a pillow fight, a war with water guns (though since Alfred yelled at you two as if you were children making a mess, you switched from water guns to nerf guns), a tickle fight or a stupid and ridiculous fashion show etc etc. 

You still remembered how your abs hurt after the fit of laughter you had when he came out of the bathroom wearing an awful bright green tuxedo vest a random fashion house send him, without an undershirt, flexing all of the muscle of his chest and all, some sweatpants on of which he tucked the lower part in cowboy boots Clark gave him, and a lampshade as a hat…Where was he even finding those ideas ?

Yes. When it was just you and him, he was a different person. That no one else but you, not even his children, not even Alfred, or any of his close friends would ever see. A Bruce completely carefree, and also slightly insane…but hilarious. 

Every time you ended up having the Manor to yourself (which was very rarely, with five children and a butler who almost never took days off), it would even be better, your playground being bigger. 

One of your favorite “Silly Bat” time was when you played hide and seek (yes, grown ass adults could totally play hide and seek) and you went to hide in a tree in the garden…And got found by Clark. 

The embarrassment on Bruce’s face when he was trying to explain what you two were doing was priceless…In the end, he said that you were playing a “sexual version of hide and seek”, because it was easier to explain than to tell his friend that he was actually playing the actual game, like a damn child, with his beautiful wife…

Clark was impressed. After all, he found you in a tree, so he wondered how you two were going to make lo…Your laughter stopped his trail of thoughts. Your superfriend misinterpreted your laugh, thinking you were mocking him because he was blushing, and that was good (for Bruce). It settled the end of the story. 

Soon enough, Superman was laughing too, and it took everything in Bruce to not even crack a smile, to keep his stoic stance, and slightly bored facial expression, so that he wouldn’t get discovered. Ooh you loved that man. 

Keep reading

So You Wanna Astral Project!

I’ve been astral projecting for a long time now, and I do it at least 4 times a week, probably more. I think I have a problem. Anyway. Here are a few tips on what to do, what not to do, etc for all ya’ll trying to get into astral travel. A few of the things have links for places to find more information, ideas, and stuff.

1. You’re Captain America- get yoself a shield. I use 2 shields when I project, both protective spirals. Basically, when you’re projecting your body is left unprotected by your spirit so you need something else to protect you. Use any shield you like. I use one that protects my body from anything harmful (visualised as rose petals swirling around me- it just seemed right) and another that repels anything harmful away from me (visualised as bright lights, almost painful to look at). Sometimes, when I get bad vibes, I’ll use more and more until I feel safe. LAYER LAYER LAYER. A shield can only do one thing at a time, so if you want multiple protective actions then use more than one. You’ll know when you’ve got enough, as when you try to project you’ll feel safer.

2. Failure is ok. Honestly, I couldn’t project last night. It was hard and my brain just couldn’t get the focus and I couldn’t visualise anything. It just didn’t work, and that’s ok. Sometimes it’ll be too much for you, don’t force anything or beat yourself up over it. Stop what you’re doing, stretch your muscles and try again later. I usually wait at least until the next night (I always project at night) when I’ve found something a little too difficult. It gives me time to rest and to do some grounding. 

3. You’re going into Narnia. What does that mean??- imagine a door! I spent a long time trying and trying to project into the astral realm until I realised that I simply had to open a door!! When I project, I visualise a white void full of different doors to different places on the astral realm, I walk around and find my own door or draw it to me. I turn the handle, walk through and BOOM astral realm. This can take a while and it’s hard at first, when I first tried this method I found the door, put my hand on the handle and got thrown out back into my body again. Take your time, practice and you’ll get there. 

4. FFS DON’T GET LOST. When you first manage to get through the door, don’t go too far. Take your time exploring what’s around you, and anyway, it’s more fun to find every little thing that’s in the astral than just barrelling through at 100000mph and missing it. I found one of my spirit companions, A, while slowly going through this tiny patch of forest that exists in my plane. If you do go a little far, which I have done before, I looked at my wrist and found a red string wrapped around it. I followed the string back to the door. Simple.

5. Block out everything. I use white noise of a thunder storm for this, but anything will do. ‘8 Hours of’ is a good youtube channel with lots of different options for white noise. Don’t astral project for the 8 hours, but the sounds are awesome and there’s no ads that’ll interupt you. 

6. Find a mirror. Not because you’re the bloody evil queen in Snow White, but because you’ll want to know what you’re astral form looks like. Go searching, use your mind’s “eye” and listen for it, you’ll know where it is. Stand in front of it and look. Don’t be afraid of what you see, your astral form might be quite different from your physical one. As someone who’s agender, my astral form is completely androgynous, but also has giant horns and 6 ENORMOUS black wings that can wrap around me and form some sort of cloak-dress-robe-thing. Yuup, it was a surprise. Just accept that this is your form, and as it’s based on your spirit, you’ll probably like it no matter what.

7. Have any deities?? You might meet them here. I worship the gaelic goddess Brighid, as well as Persephone and Hades and I’ve met them when astral projecting a few times. You can spend time with them in the astral, get to know them and even give them offerings. There is a huge area of my astral plane that is completely dead- like Pride Rock under Scar dead- and I’m currently trying to regrow it. I’ve so far grown a huge oak tree in the centre and made a pasture for Brighid as she likes to keep cattle. Hades, for some reason, wants a massive waterfall and Persephone just wants flowers- which I’ll be doing for them soon. I’ve also seen Mac Lir and Poseidon walking together off on the horizon of the ocean. I just let them do their thing. 

8. Don’t upset Brendon Urie- CLOSE THE GODDAMN DOOR! You enter the astral through a door, close it behind you so that nothing gets out. When you leave, close the door extra carefully, don’t look back at it as you walk away. Close it and then leave. 

9. Be careful when you’re out. When you re-enter your body it may feel weird, you might get pins-and-needles or your limbs may feel heavy or numb. Just sit or lay there for a while, give yourself time to ground and get comfortable in your body again, don’t sit up or start walking about the moment you leave the astral. Let your shields come down ONLY when you’re certain you’ve completely re-entered your body. Stretch a little and then get up. Go about your day, have a nap, go to bed, whatever you want to do. 


Feel free to add your own!!!!

Post Season One Questions

This is a list of questions I’ve noted that I still have concerning information from season 1. As the show progresses, I’ll keep an eye on this, noting when things are answered as well as adding anything that may pop up.

What’s the deal with this thing? I remember someone telling me that someone from the crewniverse confirmed that the “ink” used to draw this was made of crushed gems, which is just gruesome. Does this count as a corrupted gem? It was very much alive, as we saw, but it was as if the “spirit” of the gem was embedded in this picture. Also where can I find this poster.

The crystal heart is very similar to the power core we saw both in the Kindergarten and Peridot’s hand ship. Does this power the entire temple? What runs through it? Is the temple alive? Why does this heart beat like an actual heart? 

I wonder if gem shards will ever make another appearance. Thinking back to what Pearl said about the “living armor and infantries,” I wonder if the suits of armor we saw in Rose’s training room may have been used for gem shards? In general, I always wonder how much sentience is left within gem shards and the like. 

Just…everything about this. That’s Rose. She’s fighting someone. For the rest of it, I’ve no idea. And we’ve only seen half of it. Now that the temple is destroyed, though, I don’t know that we’ll ever see mention of this again.

Where did he come from, where does he go? Where did he come from, pink cotton candy … eyed … Joe? What is Lion’s relation to Rose? Why did she keep him a secret from everyone? How does he have all these powers? He’s not a typical lion, but he has no gem. Is even related to gems? Where did she get a fucking pink lion? 

This is the only other gem we’ve seen implanted in an object like Lapis. So is this gem not corrupt? Is it waiting to be released in the same way Lapis was?  




Everything about this bird intrigues me. Why does its insides consist majorly of bubbled gems? Why, when shot, does it turn into hundreds of gem shards?  

MORE OPAL WHEN!?!?!?

I just want to see these two again. What’s their story? Why were they so important? If they’re corrupted gems, why were they not poofed and bubbled like normal? 

I just wonder whether Steven’s aging will be revisited. I’d like to see if he’s going to age normally, or if his age will stagnate or go into over drive. In the same vein, I’m curious to know if Steven will live a normal length of a life, and also if he’s near immortal like the gems. And on a darker note, can he poof and regenerate? 

Rose and her killer plants. The hell is up with that? I’d love to get a flashback and see these in action, or at least hear about her using them doing the war or something. 

Swords and weapons, armor of the fallen, heretic’s anguish, giant penny, training bot - Rose had a lot of things hidden away. I wonder if Steven will now begin using the training cave as his own or not. 

Is some form of Rose still in the room? At this point, Steven had never heard Rose’s voice. So, assuming the room drew off Steven’s memories to create everything, how was it able to replicate Rose’s voice? Because the room is powered by Steven’s gem, and Rose still lies dormant within it?

I just need this story, thanks.

Corruption. What is it, and how does it affect these base models. Is there any hope for cure? Give me Centipeetle! 

What’s this thing? How is there a “synthetic storm” contained in this geode? Why is there a synthetic storm trapped in it? What’s the purpose of it? When is that duct tape gonna give way?

“They’re here to hollow out the earth! It’s part of the Great Diamond Authority! They’ll take on any form!” Ronaldo was probably right about the Great Diamond Authority, so is there any merit to his “sneeple” theories, or is this a red herring?

Will we ever see these guys again? Will this power ever be of any use? 

WHO IS THIS? Why is she here? Why does Rose have a gem bubbled and hidden away from everyone else? This is why I have trust issues.

We’ve seen the flag, tape, sword, shirt, and picture. What’s in the chest?! Where’s the key?! STEVEN, GET ON IT!

This gem looks a hell of a lot like a giant diamond. It seemed incredibly powerful, too, to be able to control the entire lighthouse. Then again, the one powering the temple in Serious Steven looked fairly diamond-esque too. 

Will the shooting star ever be used? Where are they storing this thing? 

Did Steven have some sort of effect on the tv? It did go out as soon as things got heated and he felt uncontrollably uncomfortable. 

I just need their backstory. Give me the Rose and Pearl! 

More backstory! I want to see the gems finding Amethyst in the Kindergarten. I want to see Rose and Pearl meeting. I want to see how Garnet came on board. I want to see even further back - I want the start of the rebellion, I want Pearl and Garnet (or Ruby and Sapphire?) on Homeworld; Rose, too. I want it all!

YELLOW DIAMOND?!?!?

The fuck is the cluster? Is that another word for kindergarten or something else? What’s the purpose of the cluster? What’s the point of restarting the kindergarten? What’s the point of anything at all?

Body - Daniel Au

- Admin Xion <3

Originally posted by defdaniksgf

what is this gif who allowed daniel to look this hot what is happening you see those hearts? how did my heart fly out of my chest and all the way to south korea wtf ?


requested !


HI ummm… can i ask a daniel scenario where in youre very insecure about your appearance (like your plus size)? Please? This would mean alot to me. Thanks!


i extremely loved writing this so tysm for requesting !!!


trigger warning:
fat shaming



- so where to begin
- you and daniel are good friends
- not best friends
- but the type of friends whom you wouldn’t mind to hang out with on a daily basis
- and you were so called ‘plus sized’
- in which is something you were extremely insecure about and had a hard time dwelling with
- and despite you being good friends with daniel
- you’d tried to avoid him
- because people will give looks onto how much of an angel he looks standing beside a 'fat garbage bag’ you’d call yourself
- you were in class as everyone was talking to one another since it wasnt really a serious work period
- you sat by yourself as you clenched onto your pants
- you were the only girl in the school whom wore the school pants to school because you disliked the way your legs look
- daniel approached you with a warm smile
- “hey y/n!” he spoke extremely friendly
- daniel was the most friendliest person in the school
- and his looks gave him extreme bonus points
- sometimes you wondered if he was only being nice to you because he pitied you
- “hihi,” you softly mumbled
- you looked around as you could see your classmates already beginning to whisper to one another as you gulped
- “do you wanna be partners for the upcoming science fair?” daniel asks extremely friendly
- the whispers only became louder as you stared at him blankly
- “uhmm,” you mumbled
- you wanted to say yes
- you truly do
- but you knew if you did
- you’d only get harassed
- “i already have a partner, imsorry…” you mustard up the courage to lie as your stomach began to twist inside
- the truth was, you had no partner
- no one wanted to be your partner
- but you’d rather have no partner at all than be partners with someone who looked too good to stand beside you
- or even talk to you
- or interact
- daniel softly chuckled as he scratched the back of his neck
- you could feel your cheeks burning
- “its fine! will you come to the party after the science fair though? it’d suck if you didnt,” daniel spoke
- 'it suck if you didnt’ echoed inside your head
- 'he’s only being nice to you because he pities you’ you said inside your head
- “i dunno, lets see…” you softly said
- “hopefully you’ll come! i’ll see you later,” daniel said happily as he hopped off to only be swarmed by a group of girls
- “you know he’s only being nice to you because no one else likes you,” a female voice spoke behind you
- “i know,” you said eXTREMELY softly
- she then walked off to join the group whom continuously asked daniel if they wanted to be their partner
- you bit your lower lip as you closed your eyes and placed your head against the desk
- you wanted to say yes so badly
- but you still declined
- time skip woooooosh
- you were at the science fair
- and since you had no partner, you couldnt do the assignment
- but your teacher let it slide
- because she pitied you
- you aimlessly walked around as you saw a group of girls rush past you
- your eyes followed as to where they went
- in which was to daniels booth
- you squeezed your way past them as daniel and that girl began their presentation
- they looked so happy together
- your stomach twisted as you were filled with regret and envy
- what seemed to be like forever their presentation ended
- as daniel made eye contact with you and softly smiled
- as everyone scattered off daniel approached you once again
- “hey !” daniel spoke happily like always
- “h-hi,” you mumbled
- “oh my god what is that pig doing besides daniel?” a voice spoke"
- “eww she’s just disgusting,” another one said
- you looked at the floor as daniel seemed to notice
- “hey, lets talk after school,” he spoke
- your heart raced
- “w-what?” you asked as you became a mess
- “lets talk after school, i mean, we have talked online a lot of times, what’s wrong with talking face to face?” daniel pointed out
- and he was right
- you guys talked online so many times
- you even began to have a small crush on him through it
- but you always avoided him in real life
- you nodded aimlessly as you continued on with life as it is
- time skip again woooooooooosh(in)
- only up10tion stans will get that
- also my bias is bitto and sunyoul in up10tion but anyways back to wannaone
- you were sitting on the school bench as daniel approach you like always
- he sat beside you
- “daniel why do you talk to me?” you asked extremely quickly
- “because,
- you’re beautiful,” he spoke
- hes lying
- you know hes lying
- he has to be
- “you’re lying,”
- “no im not,”
- “yes you are, is this some sort of dare?” you spoke as you slowly began to raise your voice
- “daniel no one would ever like me, i just look like a giant garbage can beside you because you’re just too attractive,” you blurted
- “y/n,” daniel spoke
- you ignored it
- “and yeah i didnt have a partner in the end but i cant talk to you properly without becoming a mess and i just dont look like the perfect one for you in which i doubt you even do think you like me but seriously-”
- “you’re beautiful,”
- “no im not,”
- “you’re beautiful y/n,” he speaks as he chuckles softly and messes up your hair
- you sat there blankly
- “i dont care how you look, it won’t change my feelings,” he said
- “y-your feelings?” you asked as you could feel your cheeks burning
- he softly smiles
- “i should get going,” he says
- you nod as he walks off
- time skip again woooooosh
- so after a lot of pep talking
- you decided to go
- it was around 10 when you entered and a lot of people were already there drinking
- you scratched your arm
- “what is this sweaty pig doing here?” that same girl who was partners with daniel spoke
- she was holding a bottle of beer in her hand
- “who invited her?” she asked again
- “god, just leave already, no one here likes y-”
- “i like her,” daniel spoke as he calmly approached the situation
- “and im the one who invited her here,” he added on bluntly
- “daniel, you can quit the act, we all know no one likes her,” she spoke harshly
- “i’m not acting,” he replied just as harshly
- she rolled her eyes as she walked away when suddenly daniel was approached by his friends
- you wandered off into a room on the upper floor as you saw a full body mirror
- you approached it silently as you looked at yourself
- you pointed out every single thing you hated
- in which was everything
- when suddenly a pair of hands held your sides
- you looked in the corner of the mirror as daniel placed his neck into the crook of your neck
- “you’re beautiful, okay?”

A GIANT HEAP OF WHAT IS THIS

So today I found myself in the doodle mood, but I didn’t really want to do anything on the askblogs and couldn’t think of anything I wanted to doodle… so I turned to the lot of you to see what you could come up with, asking for something super silly for me to draw.
…I knew you guys wouldn’t let me down.

Brace yourselves, here comes a gigantic heap of ridiculousness.

meet…the hatmaster. Master of the hats.

im snasnsa, snannn the skleltno 

They look like they’re kinda standing on it and holding on like they’re riding some sort of weird flying board. This…was not skillfully made.

but wait it gets better

yESsSSsssSs

SALAMI

He has activated his tsundere mode

good job Sans

This captures my perpetual inner emotional state


You guys are the best follower base I could ever ask for.✨

just for tonight [ jeremy heere x reader ]

Summary : Jeremy Heere is a socially ostracized teen boy at a Halloween party. After a meeting with his high school bully, Rich, he decides to get a supercomputer implanted in his brain to make him cooler. His friend, (Y/N), who is completely opposed to the idea lets their feelings spill when they take Jeremy onto the dance floor. An emotionally-charged kiss that never should have happened may end up being the best thing that happened to either of them.

Keep reading

2

This is the last of the six original Toa I purchased as a kid, and I feel kinda bad about that. Stone-themed characters have generally always sold less than the others. Some blame it on the color brown being too bland to be visually catching next to other characters on the toy shelves, hence changing it out for orange or… grey. Kudos to lego for at least attempting to find SOME middle ground of sorts with their G2 stone-themed sets. Pohatu is the most fondly-remembered Toa Mata in the hearts of many, and I am one of those people. There’s just something about his upside-down body, lanky proportions, scrawny arms, forward jutting head and giant hands and feet that strongly endears me to him, and I don’t really like how the Nuva armor “masked” this to a degree and made him look more like the other Toa. The fact that the most awkwardly-built, “misshapen” toa is the fastest (and one of the strongest, with natural strength comparable to Onua’s) of the team makes me wanna cheer him on. Pohatu’s the best.

His set also came with a rock he could kick, so that’s cool.

Saving people. Hunting things. You know - The code.

A/N: I may continue this, I may not. The setting is the grassy area between two apartment buildings, or possibly the lacrosse field, if I do continue it, I will decide then. Either way, this is going to just be a kinda silly, all around fun crossover of my two favorite shows.

I do not own Teen Wolf or it’s characters. Sadly.

@sourwolf-trash said: “Ok so here’s a prompt.. A Supernatural/Teen Wolf Crossover called “Saving people. Hunting things. You know - The code.” (because you said you wouldn’t write it till you finished the prompts I decided to try move it up the list my making it a prompt :P )”

Xxx

There was a rumbling in the distance, and you rolled your eyes. “Great,” you mumbled quietly, still every supernatural ear heard you, causing your friends to look your way. Chancing a glance at each face, you shrugged, holding your shoulders up by your ears. “Don’t look at me! I didn’t invite them!” Deadpans were all you got in return. “Honestly! Why would I invite them back?! It took everything I had to get them out of town last time!”

The rumbling had turned into a roar, and you swore the ground shook as you saw the black Impala pull up. Your cousin Dean was driving, of course, gunning the engine unnecessarily with a smirk as he saw your supernatural friends wince at the sound, Sam in the passenger seat met your glare with an apologetic smile.

Killing the engine, and hopping out, Dean was still wearing the smirk as he swaggered up to stand in front of you, Sam simply shutting his door and leaning his elbows on the top of the car, observing.

“Hiya, Y/N!” Dean’s grin was a bit on the maniacal side, but you plastered on your own sweet grin in return.

“Hey, Dean. Sam,” you nodded toward him. “To what do I owe the honor?”

Keep reading

  • William: When are we getting that new couch so we can have guests over?
  • Gabe: Would you shut up with that new couch thing? People keep asking me “When are you gonna get the new couch??” or “What's the new couch look like??” And you know what?? That's where my butt sits not yours!
  • William: Well you know I feel like I have some sort of extra credence to ask that question, considering I'm the one that has to sit next to the giant white undefinable stain.
  • Gabe: I know what that is! It's semen! So shut your mouth! Not very undefinable now is it!
  • William: How is that any better? You basically just went “Yeah! Good news it's jizz! Next fucking question!”
Can’t Hide It (Newt)

Newt x Reader - 2,667 words (Thomas’ P.O.V.)

So basically this takes place the day Thomas comes up in the maze. It follows the movie plot with a few twists here and there and Y/N is the greenie before Thomas. :P

Request; Could you maybe write an imagine from Minho’s or Thomas’s point of view in which Newt and y/n are in that “skinny love” stage and are very shy around each other. You know, maybe brushing hands at a bonfire, blushing a lot, grinning at the other person when they’re not looking and being disgustingly adorable?


“Let me show you.” Alby’s voice rang in my mind as I stared at his outstretched hand before me, offering to finally let me out of the prison they’d put me in. Shakily, I took his hand and followed him out into the place he called the glade. Boys rummaged about, engaging in various tasks and talking amongst themselves. “We eat here, sleep here. We grow our own food, and build our own shelter.” Alby explained, pointing out to various workstations nestled in the trees. “Whatever we need, the box provides.” He motioned towards the metal crate which I’d woken up in, the sheer thought of it sending chills down my spine. “The rest is up to us.”

“The box?” I looked back between to the godforsaken pice of metal and Alby in confusion. “Yeah. Then send em’ once a month with fresh supplies and a new greenie. This month that’s you.” Alby explained, hitting my arm to catch my attention. “Congratulations.” Before I could even process what Alby had said about the box, more questions swelled in my mind. “Sent up? By who though? Who put us here?” I asked. Alby looked to me sympathetically. He must have had the same questions every month. “That we don’t know.” He shrugged. I turned my eyes to the ground shyly, feeling Alby’s stare on my skin.

“Hey you alright, Alby?” Another voice came and my head shot up immediately. I watched as Alby’s smile grew instantaneously and then I glanced to see a tall, lanky blonde approaching, then someone a fair amount shorter trailing behind him.  “Geenbean, meet Newt.” The blonde took my hand in his and smiled. “When I’m not around, he’s in charge.” Alby said. “Well, it’s a good thing you’re always around then.” Newt stifled a laugh. “Listen, that was quite the dash you made earlier. Y’know for a second there I thought you had the chops to be a runner.” He raised an eyebrow with a mischievous grin. “Till you face planted.”

Before I could even question what a runner could have possibly been, Newt whimpered and pulled his arm in close to him, looking down at the person who’d dared to hit him. “Ah!” Alby grinned as a girl with Y/H/C hair and Y/E/C eyes appeared from behind Newt, shaking hands with me. “This is Y/N. She was the greenie before you.” Alby explained and I looked to the girl, even more questions pouring into my mind. “I thought you said there were no girls?” I furrowed my brows, looking between the three. Newt stood awkwardly close to the girl, looking down at her like he was stupefied. “Guess I lied.” Alby shrugged. “You two do me a favour? Go find Chuck will you?” Alby told Y/N and Newt and they nodded. I watched as Newt brushed his hand against hers, almost as if he were trying to grab it. “There he is!” Y/N piped up and took off like a rocket, Newt pursed his lips and rolled his eyes, quickly following after her.

“Look, don’t mind them. They’re pretty close.” Alby grabbed my shoulder and turned me around, guiding me somewhere else. “I think close is an understatement.” I muttered. It was obvious when two people shared some sort of connection that no one else could understand, and those two seemed to fit that picture pretty well. I looked back and saw Newt playfully pushing and shoving Y/N as they walked away. “Anyways, got something special planned for tonight. You’ll see.” Alby grabbed my shoulder again and lead me away, obviously tired of me glancing around the glade every chance I got.


“Light em up!” Alby hollered out to the boys who surrounded a mound of wood, all with flaming torches in their hands. All together, they tossed the flames at the wood and it ignited instantly, the flames soon rising high above their heads. Newt and Y/N were yet again side by side and I watched as he wrapped an arm around her shoulders, only moments later to have her dragged off by some other boy. How she was the only girl in a place like this, I had no idea. But, she seemed to fit in just fine. When I looked back to Newt, the second-in-command seemed lost without his partner in crime. No matter where she went, Newt’s eyes were locked on her, a small grin plastered on his face.

It wasn’t long before I found myself situated against a log, staring out to the giant stone walls that trapped us in this place. “Hell of a first day, greenie.” A familiar voice sounded behind me and then a body slumped down beside mine. He handed me some sort of vile concoction and his words just seemed like white noise, my mind atrophied from the day. “What the hell is that?!” I exclaimed, looking to the drink with a disgust I was sure I’d ever felt before. “I don’t even know. It’s Gally’s recipe.” Newt stifled a laugh. “It’s a trade secret…” His voice trailed off as he turned to look at the fighting ring beside the fire.

I followed his gaze and sure enough, there was Y/N, in the ring fighting the tall, burly builder. Newt’s face was plastered with both jealousy and admiration as he gazed at her from afar, as if it was only safe to do so that way. “Yeah, well he’s still an asshole.” I grumbled, watching as Gally threw Y/N to the ground, making her gasp for air. Newt’s knuckles went white as he gripped the jar in his hand. I wondered why he hadn’t gone running over there yet, but guessed he was too afraid to. Good thing he didn’t because just as quickly as she had been thrown in the dirt, the girl jumped up and threw herself at Gally, sending him stumbling backwards.

“She can sure hold her own.” I scoffed. The whoops and hollers of the boys around the ring grew louder and louder, cheering on the girl. Now, it was if Newt wasn’t even paying attention, completely entranced by Y/N and I knew there was only one way to drag him back to earth. “Alby said you two are really close.” I said and the mention caught Newt’s attention immediately. “I guess.” He shrugged and tore his eyes from the fighting ring and back to the stone walls. “You guess?” I raised an eyebrow and caught his gaze for a few seconds before he darted his eyes away shamefully.

“Why don’t you just tell her? Don’t even try to deny how you feel about her. I can see it.” I furrowed my brows and watched as Newt’s face flushed red. “That’s a lot easier said than done.” His face went stolid and stared out into the dark. Here I was, not even able to remember my name, and I was trying to convince someone to admit their feelings. “What do you mean?” My questions had seemingly shifted from being all about where I was and who put us here to solely Y/N and Newt. The blonde propped himself up slightly and looked at me with a set of eyes I knew hid an intolerable amount of pain behind them. “You think that in a place like this, she hasn’t heard the same thing from just about every other boy? She wouldn’t believe me. Wouldn’t believe I was being genuine, unlike the rest of the shanks around here who say they care just for fun.” His question really did make me think. Being the only girl amidst forty or so boys, some had to have already admitted the same thing Newt wanted to.

“And listen, the truth is…” Newt muttered. “In a place like this, things like that don’t last.” Something about the way Newt said it was like a warning that made me refuse to ask any more questions about the girl. He went on to talk about the maze and I finally got the answers I’d been waiting for about the runners. After a while and being brought to the point where I felt as if my mind might just implode, Newt patted my back. “Alright, that’s enough questions for one night. C’mon, listen, you’re supposed to be the guest of honour!” He exclaimed, trying to drag me to my feet. I tried to rebuke but he tugged at my arm even harder. “No, no. C’mon, let me show you around.” He insisted and I reluctantly followed him towards the crowd.

As Newt showed me around, he explained the various different groups of people, the builders, slicers and medjacks. “And where does Y/N work?” I stopped Newt and his face lit up, a small smirk crossing it. “Well, she used to work with Clint and Jeff, but boys started injuring themselves on purpose just to see her. So, she works in the gardens with me now.” He said. “Bugs me every bloody day to convince Alby to let her be a runner.” The blonde rolled his eyes. We stood beside the fighting ring now and I could hear the shouts growing louder. “You should let her. She seems like a good fit by the way you make it sound.” I admitted and Newt’s face dropped. “Did you not listen to what I said? No one should want to be a runner. Especially her. It’s not safe.” Something about the way Newt said it definitely indicated that it was him stopping her from going into the maze. “Plus, she’d have to get chosen.”

Before I could ask, a body slammed into me from behind, sending me stumbling forwards. “My bad - sorry.” A soft voice met my ears and I didn’t even have to look up to see who it was. Y/N was being pulled up off of the ground by Gally and she looked to me apologetically. “What do you say greenie? Want to see what you’re made of?” Gally cocked an eyebrow and stood tall, everyones eyes fell on me. “Greenie, greenie!” Everyone started chanting and Y/N patted me on the back. All of the gladers circled around the ring and Newt stood shoulder to shoulder with Y/N, taking her hands in his and wiping the dirt away, checking for cuts and bruises. I could see as Y/N’s face visibly became redder as Newt wiped the dirt from under her eye gently. He cupped her face in his hands and said something, a wide smile growing on both of their faces before he finally let go. His eyes met mine and I raised an eyebrow at him to which he responded by sending a glare back that very obviously said ‘shut up, greenie.’

Despite trying to not be completely annihilated by Gally, I couldn’t help but keep glancing to Y/N and Newt. In a way, it was nice to see a relationship like theirs in a place like this, desolate and devoid of life. But, in another way, it was saddening. Newt looked to her like she was the only thing he saw. Yet, she never seemed as infatuated with him as he was with her. When she thought no one was watching, I knew Newt was. I could tell he heard every word she spoke, even when she thought no one else was listening. With him, she’d never have to be alone.


After being thrown into the dirt time and time again, I’d finally remembered my name and the fight was ended. I stumbled my way over to the fire where a few boys talked amongst themselves quietly. “Hey Thomas!” Y/N piped up and jumped down beside me. I smiled lightly at the girl. “You’re pretty good! Wanna fight me next time?” A mischievous grin rose on her face. After seeing her fight with Gally, I wasn’t sure I wanted to. Luckily, before I could answer, Newt slumped down in the tight space between us. “There you are, love.” Newt threw his arm over Y/N’s shoulder and pulled her close, ruffling her hair, earning a small laugh from her. They’d been apart maybe twenty minutes and Newt was acting like he hadn’t seen her in days. Y/N seemed to shrink under Newt’s arm and she pulled her legs close to her chest, crossing her arms over them.

For a while, the three of us talked about the glade and what tomorrow might be like. It was almost as if Y/N was adverting her vision from Newt. I couldn’t blame her, having someones eyes burning holes in your skin every hour of the day couldn’t be pleasant. Her focus was on me as I spoke and Newt’s was stuck on her. I may not have known either of them well, but I wasn’t clueless. It wasn’t like Y/N was pushing Newt away any time he came close. And it’s not that she was ignoring him, she was just trying not to show how much she cared. When Newt finally finished what he was saying, silence swelled around us until Chuck came sauntering in, calling my name. “Thomas! I set up your hammock.” He said proudly, waving for me to follow him. “I uh - better go.” I muttered and stood up. “Oh, and Y/N?” I caught her attention and Newt gave me a puzzled glance. “Newt has something really important to tell you.” I smirked and turned on my heel.

I sat in my hammock looking out to the walls yet again when I heard some people approaching the sleeping area. Most of the boys were already asleep and I knew it had to be Newt and Y/N. “Newt!” The girl whispered curiously, trying to catch up with the blonde who strode forwards. “Just tell me!” She pleaded and in that moment Newt caught my gaze and sent a forewarning glare. I shrugged with a smug smile and he rolled his eyes. Just as I had expected, a few hammocks down from mine, Y/N and Newt sat down in their own right beside one another. “You know you can tell me anything, right?” Her voice was earnest and quiet, Newt shuffled around uncomfortably. “Y-Yeah…” He stuttered. “Newt, c’mon. I won’t judge.” She stifled a laugh and I could see her searching his eyes for some sort of truth.

His entire body was tense. So much so I could almost feel it from where I sat. He looked like he was about to burst, all of his emotions boiling up inside of him. “Fine! You really want to know?!” He spat and Y/N jolted back a little. “I like you! A lot! Ever since I pulled you out of that box! But I never told you because… because you have no idea what it’s like… To like someone so much but know that they’ll never see you the same way.” Newt let out an exasperated sigh and thew his face into his hands frustratedly. Y/N gently pulled them away from his face. “I never said I didn’t?” She mumbled and Newt immediately dropped his hands, his face softening. “I just - I thought after all of the other boys… you’d never believe me.”

“Newt… Of course I believe you.” She tilted her head and looked to him with sympathy. “I’m so sorry I didn’t say anything earlier.” She apologized, darting her eyes away. “It’s not your fault.” He shook his head and lunged forwards, wrapping his arms around her tightly. “THANK GOD! IT’S ABOUT TIME YOU TWO!” Minho cried out. “NOW, GO TO BED!” The few boys who were awake all laughed and I watched as Newt nestled his head into the crook of her neck as if it was the first hug he’d ever received. For a brief moment he opened his eyes and looked to me as if to say ‘thanks for the embarrassment.’

rikadivani  asked:

Some of the people on the post about the rainbow jar yard seem to think its a scam. I hope not. :(

Yea I saw that after I reblogged it. It looks like the gofund me money was returned? Gross of it was a scam.
Though my desire to ask the neighbors (we have a shared front lawn between our houses) about doing some sort of rainbow landscaping remains. We both already have the human rights campaign stickers in the windows, why not a giant fuck off rainbow theme.

WTF is an Animorph?

Book 1: The Invasion

If this little experiment had a subtitle, it would probably be “never joke about offering to read something that was a touchstone for someone else’s childhood, because sometimes next thing you know you have a gigantic box of 50-odd books in your living room, and a bunch of people on Twitter egging you on to make terrible life choices.”

Which is to say: a few weeks ago I mentioned offhandedly that I do not hold with generational stereotyping nonsense, I love and cherish my millennial friends (who are only very slightly younger than I am, mostly, I’m more or less The Last GenXer born before the generational cutoff), but the one thing that puzzles me about them is how they all have these Deep and Important Feelings about the Animorphs.  Whereas my feelings on the topic are, to date, simply this: WTF IS AN ANIMORPH?

Here is what I know about Animorphs:

  • They are kids (teens?) who can change into animals.  
  • I have a vague sense that they have to have some form of contact with the animal, like, they can’t just morph into any random animal they see a picture of in National Geographic, but I might be wrong about that.
  • The books are about war, or something of the sort?  Something Important and Serious disguised as a children’s book about shapeshifters
  • There are a lot of them
  • They are VERY IMPORTANT to a lot of people I am very fond of.
  • Every time one of these people tries to describe the plot of an Animorphs book to me, it just sounds like they’re fucking with me, and I’m still not sure they’re not.

But now I have a box of Animorphs books, fetched by a friend from her parents’ basement and hand-delivered to me.  And I’ve promised to read and liveblog at least three.  (I’ve made no promises about the rest of this giant box of books. We’ll see how I feel after these three.)

So, here we go.  Let’s launch into book one: The Invasion.  Chapter One recap underneath the cut.

Keep reading

A Super Birthday

Requested

________________________________________________________________

“Good morning, Y/N!”

“Oh, morning, Steve.”

“Breakfast?”

“Yeah, I was just going to grab some cereal or–”

“Nonsense.” Steve handed you a plate with a stack of pancakes on it.

“You didn’t have to do this,” you said, taking in the amount of strawberries and blueberries and whipped cream piled on top.

“Of course I did,” Steve said. He reached forward and stuck a single blue candle in the top. With his other hand, he flicked the lighter, flame catching on the wick.  “Happy birthday.”

________________________________________________________________

“Y/N! I hear we are to be in a celebratory mood!”

“Uh, yeah, I guess, Thor…”

The large Asgardian wrapped his arms around you, nearly crushing you into his chest. “Birthdays are always a wonderful celebration in Asgard. Loki and I often stretched our celebrations out for at least a week.”

“That seems a bit much.”

“Nonsense! I’ve been watching the ‘music television’ channel on the TV. There was a show called ‘My Super Sweet Sixteen’. I daresay those parties looked fun! We should plan something like that for you!”

“Oh, no thank you, Thor. I’m good with a more… low-key thing.”

“Loki? Has he planned a party for you?”

“No…” You shook your head. “Look, I’m just… gonna go find Dr. Banner…”

“Allow me!”

With a slight yelp, you found yourself hoisted onto Thor’s back as he galloped down the hall towards the science lab.

________________________________________________________________

Bruce looked up as Thor crashed into the lab.

“Behold! Your desired destination!”

You slid off Thor’s back. “Thank you, Thor. That was… surprisingly fun.”

“I shall see you later for more festivities!”

You and Bruce watched as Thor disappeared around the corner.

“That was… odd.”

You turned to Bruce. “Sorry. He just sort of… picked me up.”

“It’s okay. He didn’t break anything this time.”

You stepped over to Bruce. “Could I… I mean, is there anything I can help you with?”

“Uh… yeah, I mean, there are some samples that need organizing… but I’d hate to pull you in with this boring stuff on your birthday.”

You shrugged. “I don’t mind. I actually like small stuff, not giant, grand gestures.”

“Oh.”

You looked up. “What?”

“Well, I shouldn’t say anything, since it’s supposed to be a surprise…”

“What is?”

Bruce shrugged. “I’m not sure exactly what it is, but Tony’s been working on something for the past week….”

“Oh, no. That means it’ll be something huge.”

Bruce nodded. “You’re welcome to hide out here. But this will probably one of the first places he looks if you don’t show up on the balcony at nine p.m.”

________________________________________________________________

As much as you were dreading it, you found yourself on the balcony at nine. All of the Avengers were there, surrounding a tri-level cake, a trail of candles going down one side.

“What is all this?”

“Nothing,” Tony said. “Just a small celebration of your sixteenth birthday. No biggie.”

You glanced at him. “Nothing you do is ever on a small scale.”

“Okay, fine, you caught me.” Tony pressed a few buttons on his watch.

The air was pierced with a shrill noise. Up in the night sky, fireworks began to explode. The bursts spelled out your name, the number sixteen, and a silhouette of your face.

“Definitely not small,” you said with a smile on your face.

“I did try to warn you,” Bruce said, leaning down.

“It’s okay,” you said. “It’s… a perfect touch, considering who I’m with.”

“They mean well.”

“I know. And I’m very thankful for that.”

anonymous asked:

Do you think any of the Jurassic World dinosaurs will show up in Jurassic World 2?

Yep! The director already confirmed that Rexy will be in it, and also *drumroll* some prototype images for JW2 products leaked and look who else is on the front ;) 

Not sure if these are 100% legit or not (the gyrosphere in the background sort of got me suspicious), but either way here’s the source (x)

Also, I was like “oh wow, marshmallows is such an oddly specific thing…?” and then I noticed the giant fucking exploding volcano in the background and was like oh

Also 2.0: all I’m going to say is that there have been rumors of aquatic and ice age dinos showing up and they made sea salt chips and ice cream so there’ s that. 

6

Image of the Fendahl random observation: 

Of all the Doctor Who monsters in any classic Who episode, ever, the only one that really, really scared me as a kid was this bleeping thing. Daleks were vaguely silly and didn’t scare me a bit (they weren’t at their best in the 70s and early 80s). Cybermen? Exciting— I remember Earthshock Cybermen best— but they weren’t viscerally terrifying as they would’ve been if I’d first seen them in Tenth Planet.

But this thing? So utterly inhuman despite having a recognizable traditional Greek goddess form, with her eyes that were just a little too large and closed and open at the same time, and the whole bit with the face that materialized from the skull, and the skull that drew your hand to it and then burned you, and even those eerie worm-things that look so fake by today’s standards but were like some sort of shivery not-quite-in-this-dimension giant parasite— brrrr.

I barely remember the story. All I remember is the feel: a cross between terror and nails-on-the-chalkboard nausea. 

Weeping Angels have a bit of the same wrongness vibe. Anyway, yeah. Unusual nomination for Scariest Who Monster ever, but this is the one that gave me the heebie jeebies as a kid.

Aloha!!! (Supernatural Cast x Reader)

Summary: Fun times at a Hawaiian convention… 

 Enjoy! :)


Y/N was currently on stage with Misha, Sebastian, Jensen and Jared. They were all currently in Honolulu, Hawaii for a small Supernatural convention.

“…Anyway, I was like, ‘No, Jared. I will not let you put fish in Misha’s car… Again.’” Y/N spoke into the microphone. That made the audience laugh.

Misha swung an arm around Y/N’s shoulders and spoke into his microphone. “She’s always looking out for me. She may have let Jared put fish in my car the first time, but oh no, a second time is just too much.”

That made everyone laugh again, including Jared himself and everyone else on stage.

Jared lifted his microphone up to speak. “I wouldn’t be complaining too much, Misha. Just last week, whenever we were doing a night shoot and we all had to sleep in our trailers, Y/N and Jensen waited till like 3:30 in the morning to sneak over to my trailer and start banging on my windows to wake me up. I was in a deep sleep, too.”

Sebastian leaned over past Y/N to look at Jared. “Wait. That’s what that was? I thought that was just some sort of accident with things falling over in the props department.”

Y/N and Jensen laughed and spoke into their microphones. “Nope.”

“Partners in crime.” Jensen commented as he Y/N high-fived.

The audience laughed again.

A little bit later…

“Now…” Y/N started as everyone had their attentions turned to the giant screen. “As you all know, since most of you probably live here, or are from places near here, the beaches in Hawaii are beautiful. My personal favorite would have to be in Waikiki. It just so happens, that yesterday, we all had a day off. Now, what would be the first thing you would think to do if you were near a beach and you had the day off?… I think we all know the answer. If you all look at the screen, me and my compadres would like to share with you some memories of our times at the beach yesterday.”

Pictures started popping up on screen. The first one was of Jensen drawing a smiley face out of sunscreen on Jared’s stomach when he had fallen asleep. The next two or three photos were of Sebastian and Misha attempting to surf.

“I take credit for those pictures.” Y/N stated. “I was sunbathing, and I looked out into the ocean and saw them trying to surf. First thing that popped into my head, was ‘This is just to good to resist.’”

That made everyone laugh. The next one was of Y/N going against Jensen in a chicken fight. Y/N was on Jared’s shoulders while Jensen was on Sebastian’s shoulders.

“Oh, oh, oh,” Misha started to say. “Let me tell you, that this was not an easy picture to take. The current is very strong, so you can imagine how difficult it was to keep your feet in place.”

“You’re telling me.” Jensen commented. “I’m having to go up against Y/N, who had an unfair advantage might I add, getting to be on Jared’s shoulders.”

“Nah… ” Y/N said. “Although, now that I think about it, I could’ve just gotten on Misha’s shoulders and Jared could’ve taken the picture.”

“Or…” Sebastian started to say. “We all could’ve just not played chicken fight in the Pacific Ocean in the first place.”

The whole cast just stayed silent for a moment before all speaking at once. “Nah…”

The whole audience laughed before they all went silent as they saw the next picture pop up on the screen. All at once everyone started laughing again, including all the guys on stage.

Y/N looked up at the screen before groaning and putting her face in her hands. She kept her face down as she spoke into the microphone. “This picture is proof that you should not fall asleep while sunbathing with these four around. You might just wake up buried in sand.”

That’s right, the picture was of Y/N buried in the sand. The only part of her that was visible was from the neck up. Misha, Jensen, Jared and Sebastian were sitting around her. You could see Y/N’s face expression was that of being absolutely not amused.

“Aww, but you still love us.” Misha stated with his blue puppy dog eyes.

“Oh, please don’t do that.” Y/N whined. “You know I can’t stay mad when you do that with those gorgeous blue eyes of yours.”

“I rest my case.” Misha said smugly.

The audience laughed again as the panel continued.

A bit later…

“How low can you go, Jared?!” Y/N exclaimed into her microphone as she and Jensen watched Misha and Sebastian hold up a limbo rod for Jared to go under. It was only logical that they play limbo. They were in Hawaii. The whole panel, and even convention had a very Hawaiian atmosphere to it. All the guys had on Hawaiian shirts, and Y/N had on a red dress with white Hawaiian flowers on it.

“He’s got it… He’s got it…” Jensen said anxiously into his microphone. “And he’s…got t!”

Jared popped back up into standing completely upright. He’s grabbed his microphone. “And that, ladies and gentlemen, is how it’s done.”

Y/N just rolled her eyes playfully as the panel continued some more.

After a while it was time for the panel to end.

“Thank you, everyone! We’ve had so much fun here, today.” Sebastian said into the microphone.

“Yes, be sure to come back tomorrow for a few more of our individual panels.” Misha said. “Y/N and I will be having one at around ten-ish? I think.” He looked over at Y/N questioningly.

Y/N smiled. “Yes. Who knows? Maybe there’ll be a hula contest…”

The audience laughed again. Everyone seemed like they’d had a good time.

“So until tomorrow!” Jensen said.

“Aloha!!!” The whole cast said simultaneously as they waved goodbye before walking off stage.

Hawaii was fun. It really got you into the vacation spirit.

The more I think about the Pacific Rim II trailer the more I’m waiting for the other shoe to drop.

It feels like exactly the sort of gung-ho tone some decisions in the original film were made to avoid. (Stuff like Pentecost being a Marshal rather than having a more, hah, martial title.) Pacific Rim was about giant robots punching giant monsters, sure, but it felt like it had a lot more to do with “if monsters are destroying our cities WE’LL PUNCH THEM” than “Look how cool our MEGASWORD 9000 is! This technical specification makes me feel warm and happy inside!”

So. Prediction: it turns out the single-pilot system of the Mark VI screws everything up horribly because plot, possibly making people evil for reasons that will become apparent shortly, and John Boyega has to train with someone he finds infuriating until they trust each other enough to pilot one of the old Jaegers together and take down the mark VI using an older, less advanced, more POWER OF FRIENDSHIP Jaeger.

That trailer’s selling a power fantasy, but it feels like it’s lacking balance: it doesn’t tell us anything about what we’d be using that power for; that’s quite a big hole, when the first film was so grounded in “this is what we’ll do to protect one another.”

The smoke clears and in whispering waves
Of self mutilation I see the dark sky fall to pieces
The world is sometimes too heavy to breath
And the dead surround me like an ocean

I can’t recognize the reflection
Looking back through the mirror
As if some sort of silent stranger
With mean eyes and deadly stare

He sees everything and why?
Then with one last glimmer defiant
I’m transformed into a monster a giant
With no heart, no limbs, no desire

This is not a suicide letter
I just want to get a real close look at death
Touch his matted hair as I pass him by

THE ADVENTURE ZONE SENTENCE MEME

Part 3 - Murder on the Rockport Limited

Possible Spoilers, change pronouns, etc as needed

  • “I would sooner die.”
  • “I kinda like his style.”
  • “Kind of a shitty wizard.”
  • “My whole body is a weapon.”
  • “That was pretty fucking radical.”
  • “Do y’all wanna get paid or nah?”
  • “Give me your crunchiest potion.”
  • “Did I say how old I was last time?”
  • “Sorry, I had a pretty bad initiative roll.”
  • “Jokes on you, I can’t think very good.”
  • “Um. I won’t do that. I’m very, very tired.”
  • “Is this our - is this our quarterly review?”
  • “I hate to keep salting your game, Daddy.”
  • “Are you gonna fire us out of the cannon?”
  • “Listen, kid, I’m not a magic worker, okay?”
  • “Why are you, why is it whisper time now?”
  • “ I’ve heard of you. You are of the god kind.”
  • “My grandpa forgot his name. He’s very old.”
  • “We’re doing good adventurer, bad adventurer.”
  • “I’d like to sit on your lap. Maybe steer a little bit.”
  • “Wait, are we doing good cop, bad cop, mom cop?”
  • “Are you sure that- this sounds like a wizard’s spell.”
  • “We are absolutely going to fire you out of a cannon.”
  • “You don’t have 45 minutes. At most, I can give you 4.”
  • “How could you possibly seen through my perfect crime?”
  • “Hey, listen, we all have droughts kid. Don’t feel too bad.”
  • “Guys? Guys? That was our first moment of competence.”
  • “This is gonna come back and bite us in the ass, I know it.”
  • “We want you to step in front of the next train that comes by.”
  • “Good day to you, thank you for having me on your choo choo.”
  • “If only you had used one of your spell slots to defend yourself!”
  • “The memory of my grandpa’s name died long before I was born.”
  • “What are the names that aren’t fake that you guys actually have?”
  • “I love your caution, and I love just how suspicious you’re all being.”
  • “ It’s basically like a big ol’ neopolitan ice cream sandwich of dudes.”
  • “So, is it like a magic word, or like a whistle? Is there a bell somewhere?”
  • “You look like some sort of weird shit monster who is just caked in swamp.”
  • “First off, that’s a trademark violation, second it doesn’t even make any sense!”
  • “What am I going to do, burn one of my daily spell slots on making an axe levitate?”
  • “You got your dick out and your whole naked body out while she was talking to you?”
  • “Listen guys, we just blasted a giant crab, I think we’re past the point of fake names.”
  • “Is there somebody around us who just looks like, helpful or maybe is wearing armor?”
  • “How about except for me, we’re much bigger than you and we can thump your gourd.”
  • “His murder came at an opportune time. He’d done everything he wanted to with his life.”
  • “This is your quarterly review. Compared to last time, 100% year-over-year improvement.”
  • “Ok, I mean, I did detective good enough to see through your horseshit, so I can’t be too bad.”
  • “She’s way cooler than you are. Like, way way way cooler. And just sort of better at everything?”
  • “I started changing when you started telling your story about murdering somebody or something.”
  • “One of them is a stout dwarven woman with the largest muscles you’ve ever seen on a living person.”
  • “How about I’m a little boy who knows you’re lying, and I can yell and yell and yell, and get you in lots of trouble.”
  • “They watched solemnly as an assassin came in a buried a knife in his heart. It was what he would have wanted.”
  • “Don’t shhh, it’s a secret mission. Shh shh shh shhhh. We’ll see you down there. Wink! Wink! You’re a cool dude.”
  • “That train is a little too extreme for most people. It doesn’t even go on rails, it just sort of- they just sort of off-road it.”
  • “Oh, sorry, I didn’t realize life on the rails was so demanding you had to have pyrotechnics at your fingertips twenty-four sev’.”
  • “I’m very proud of the three of you. You’ve been much more competent than anybody on earth would have ever thought.”
  • “I’ll give ya a sampler of, it’s called my hair of the dog potion. It won’t attract dogs, as much as it will just get you real fucked up.”
  • “Hey listen, I couldn’t find any coffee but they had these little Andes mints. Here, have a couple of those and then answer the nice men.”
  • “It’s not nearly as salacious as I made it sound. It’s just when I say things with my voice, it always sounds like I’m talking about slow sex.”
  • “Yeah, and if you fail this, I’ll kill you. You’ll suffer. Listen baby, risk and reward! If you do it, it’ll be fucking rad! If you don’t do it, you’ll die.”
  • “We actually need extra pillows. I sleep with a pillow between my knees and between my elbows and behind my head and under my feet.”
  • “I’m done. Have a good day. Let me know if you need anything, but don’t expect a quick response. No, of course it will be a quick response.”
  • “This is gonna sound phony, but we don’t know who we can trust. Look at us, we’re 3 grown men trusting a baby with secrets, we’re not professionals.”
  • “I’m really glad that you are exactly who you say you are, because if you were doing some sort of ruse right now, it’d be very, very poorly constructed.”
  • “Yes, a witch kissed me and cursed me so that anytime anyone yells a secret word, I have to attend to their every need, and that word is my fucking name.”
  • “Before you go, I just need to grab your weapons from you. These will also be locked up in the vault and we will be returning them to you as soon as we reach our final destination.”
  • “Can I just say something? And this might sound weird. But I think you are exactly who you’re telling me you are. And I don’t know- again, it seems like a weird thing to say, but I am… just so charmed by you.”
  • “So we’re gonna do this now, huh? We’re gonna air this right now? I need to build myself a fucking exosuit of pillows, and I’m not like, proud of it. Like, yeah, I’m embarrassed about it, and it makes trips with my family a living hell.”