for marya

  • psychic: *reads my mind*
  • my mind: BALAGA IS FUN, BOLKONSKY IS CRAZY, MARY IS PLAIN, DOLOKHOV IS FIERCE, HÉLÈNE IS A SLUT, ANATOLE IS HOT, MARYA IS OLDSCHOOL, SONYA IS GOOD, NATASHA IS YOUNG, AND ANDREY ISN'T HERE
  • psychic: what the fuck?
6

the dregs meme: [1/5] details - Inej’s daggers

Sankt Petyr, renowned for his bravery, on the right; the slender, bone-handled blade she’d named for Sankta Alina on the left. She recited the names of her other knives, too. Sankta Marya and Sankta Anastasia strapped to her thighs. Sankt Vladimir hidden in her boot, and Sankta Lizabeta snug at her belt, the blade etched in a pattern of roses. Protect me, protect me. She had to believe her Saints saw and understood the things she did to survive.

2

You come to me dressed like my sister, with my death in your coat. No matter that it is not my death. You thought it eas. Why do you do this things. even knowing that those girls sew away my armies through this very hour?

[…] I will tell you why. Because you are a demon like me. And you do not care very much if other girls have suffered, because you want only what you want. You will kill dogs, and hound old women in the forest, and betray any soul if it means having what you desire, and that makes you wicked, and that makes you a sinner, and that makes you my wife.

8

Let us be greedy together; let us hoard. Let us hit each other with birch branches and lock each other in dungeons; let us drink each other’s blood in the night and betray each other in the sun. Let us lie and lust and take hundreds of lovers; let us dance until snow melts beneath us. Let us steal and eat until we grow fat and roll in the pleasures of life, clutching each other for purchase. Only leave me my death — let me hold this one thing sacred and unmolested and secret — and I will serve you a meal myself, served on a platter of all the world’s bounty. Only do not leave me, swear that you will never leave me, and no empress will stand higher. (happy bday @amarukate​)

This is the very boring part of eating disorders, the aftermath. When you eat and hate that you eat. And yet of course you must eat. You don’t really entertain the notion of going back. You, with some startling new level of clarity, realize that going back would be far worse than simply being as you are. This is obvious to anyone without an eating disorder. This is not always obvious to you.
—  Marya Hornbacher

that’s it that’s the show!

(ask to repost)