It’s just like, I remember who I was before all of this happened. Before I cared what everyone thought of me, before I ended up in the hospital, before that boy broke my heart. Before I pushed everyone away. It’s not that life before all this was perfect, but at least I had a purpose to get up everyday. But now everything is dark and when I go to sleep at night, I kind of hope I won’t wake up.
Here’s a spell for those times when you’re waiting on payment from a variety of different sources for work you’ve already done. It’s money drawing with modified intentions, since you know who owes you and for what. (In my case, a freelance article, music royalties, and a supplies trade.) I lifted this format from @witching-and-wondering’s beautiful anti-nightmare spell bottle.
tealight candle (green if possible)
a whole clove for each person that owes you
sigil on paper
Place the ingredients in your jar in an order that pleases you. The calcite can rest against the outside. If you like, draw or pierce a money-drawing sigil on the bay leaf before adding it. Tie green ribbon around your jar and anoint your tealight with bergamot oil, if applicable. You can also sprinkle mint on top of the tealight. Put your tealight on your jar (or next to it if it’s a tiny jar) and, as you light it, recite:
My obligations now fulfilled With knowledge deep and labor skilled In return and with all speed Complete the trade that was agreed
If you have a sigil on paper for this purpose, light it with the candle’s flame and burn it to ash in a firesafe container.
Let the tealight burn down, while focusing on your situation–but try not to dwell on resentment toward the people who haven’t upheld their bargain yet. Instead, consider the positive emotions you’ll experience when you have what you’re owed, like the sense of relief when your rent is paid, or the comfort of a new item of clothing you plan to buy. If you feel negative emotions taking over, or you’re short on time, snuff the candle.
Seal the jar and keep it in a safe place. Then, if you haven’t recently, politely but firmly check in with the people who owe you.
Charge the jar weekly by burning another candle on top of it (but hopefully that won’t be necessary). When all your payment comes in, empty the jar and cleanse it for reuse. Remember not to dispose of salt outdoors!
“You can continue to cry over the same pain & complain about the
same situations or you can expand your mind and you can grow. Maybe im
not alone when I say, sometimes we all get a little confused and feel
like we owe it to the people and places to try harder when in reality,
most of the time lessons become lifelong if we don’t learn the art of
peaceful detachment early in the game.”
“Oh my Maxy! Oh my Maxy! Oh my little darling Max!” David crooned, leaning in close to said boy.
“Pretty sure that old bitch’s name was Clementine.” Max corrected, he shoved David away as he fought the urge to smile. He slouched farther in his seat as he watched the trees race past the window so that David couldn’t see the internal fight against smiling, couldn’t David see he wanted to brood in peace?
“Nope, pretty sure his name was Max, and he was on an amazing car trip with his best buddy David!”
Max didn’t need to turn to see the big grin on David’s face. Max sighed dramatically and David giggled.
“Come on, Max. You know you love the song.” David kept his eyes on the road as he gently prodded Max in the shoulder. Max batted away his hand like an angry cat, again, couldn’t the camp man see he was trying to be sad?
“Come on,” His tone grew more playful, he sounded as if he was trying to entice a puppy, “You know you wanna sing it! You know you want to! All together now!”
Max turned to face him as David kicked right back into song.
“Oh my Maxy! Oh my Maxy! Oh my little darling Max!” David tilted his head back as he belted out the song, being as loud as he possibly could. Max covered his ears, but the previous internal fight was out the window.
Max couldn’t fight the grin that spread across his face, and he broke out into a fit of laughter.
David turned to him again, “Come on!”
Max sat up straight, and followed David as he lead right back into the song.
“Oh my Maxy! Oh my Maxy! Oh my little darling Max!” The two sang, both laughing and swaying to the tune, but David seemed to have more lyrics that Max was not aware of.
“He is short in height and temper! Oh my little darling Max!” David continued unexpectedly, and Max gaped at him.
“Oh you wanna play that game, huh?”
David raised his eyebrows and looked to Max innocently as he stopped at a red light, that had no purpose in the small barren town they were crossing through.
“Whatever do you mean?” David turned to Max and batted his lashes, Max grinned and nodded.
“Okay fucker, I got you don’t worry.” Max coughed and dropped his shoulders, returning his gaze to the window, David was enticed to see what verse Max would come up with this time.
“Oh my Davey! Oh my Davey! Oh that little fucker Dave! He was tall and just plain stupid, oh that little fucker Dave!” Max shouted, barely following the rhythm, but it was still very funny to the two boys.
David snorted loudly amongst his laughter, ignoring the foul language.
“That was a good one, I’ll give you that.” David teased, leaning over to playfully bump arms with smaller boy.
Max laughed along, and after a moment of content silence, began to fiddle with the radio, devious smile already stretching across his face. David gave him an odd look, since Max preferred most car rides to be in silence.
“I’m tired of listening to you, I was hoping to tune you out.” Max said, trying his best to be serious, but he couldn’t stop the giggles that fell out at David’s faux offended face.
“Oh my Maxwell! How rude!” David returned to laughing with his son.
“Oh David! How prude!” The fits of snorting from laughing so hard came again. The two smiled widely, eyes traveling back to the road, once they calmed down, and to the varying scenery they were passing, any previous doubts about the long trip were thrown out the window.
They always cherished the little moments like these.
David is tired of his brooding son being upset over their long car trip and tries to break the tension by singing Max’s favorite song.
“You are a particle in this great big universe that because of your
divinity, are able to manifest greatness! You are so alive that what you
think becomes reality, and what you create, well, it becomes your
Janusz Jurek ~ Precious Animation by George RedHawk