for inside I am not darkness but LIGHT!

These rain clouds keep looking
at me like I am dying & I don’t
know how to apologize for
being an apology looking for its
mistake; sleep finds me where
the sadness is at its deepest &
though the nightmares are still
trying to teach me how to breathe,
you’ve always been the light
that breaks the darkness inside me.
I tried to walk away, but my thoughts
are tangled too deep in you, all
that I can be

is yours

To Lady Lightsunder

Dearest Lady Lightsunder, 

I hope that post-war serenity has fallen on you and your family, for the opposite has found me. Despair hangs heavily on every inch of my skin, and despite the news of my untimely demise that has swept through the ranks, I have not had the honor of even the marginal peace that dark fate would offer me. I am alive, and entirely unwell. 

While I know it may be a stretch to call us friends, you were a great aid to me in the North. When we spoke last, your wisdom was crucial in clarifying my own beliefs and approach to finding my place in the Light’s embrace and now I need your guidance again most desperately. 

I have lost the Light. There is a hollow in my heart where it used to reside, a cavernous and cold expanse that can’t be filled. When I reach inside of myself to try and find the grace that was once granted to me by the Light, it is wholly absent; there is nothing. No warmth. No peace. No Light. I’ve no idea if you’ve personal experience with a loss as profound as this, but I can tell you that it feels as if my soul has been scrapped from the inside of my skin and discarded, and I stand now as only a withered husk in the vaguest shape of who I was before. The Light may not always have been with me, but I can not remember a time without it - it was so intrinsic to my being that I never thought it could be gone. 

Alone, the loss of the Light would be a greater burden then I think I could bear - I am useless without it, I have nothing else to my name or identity that is worth consideration, and without it I feel my place among my peers is threatened - but when paired alongside all the rest that the war has stolen from me… I am lost, Lady Lightsunder, and I’ve no sign of where the path may be, let alone the will to follow it.   

Please. Whatever you have in the way of wisdom or direction, I will take. 

Dawnward Caeliri Dawnsworn

@stormandozone | @theladylight

It’s a long road I’ve been walking on;

Majestic like an eagle.
High and light like the sky,
Strong and sturdy like the mountains.
I am;
Far away like the Moon,
and hard to reach.

Kept my head rising
Kept my feet moving,
Never on my knees
And never looked back.

Galaxies are exploding silently
inside of me,
Oceans and waves are playing a beautiful melody through my veins.

Filled with secrets and flaws,
Shining brightly like stars in the dark sky.

Faced storms and darkness,
Held nothing but, faith and dreams.

And, I want to rest.

La La Land

In La La Land with trees aflame
lives a magic man with a magical name
he’s dressed in blue
his love so true
my love for him is the same

He takes my hand, we walk a while
with every word he speaks i form a smile
we crawl amongst burning trees
so carefully on hands and knees
and before we know it we’ve crawled a mile

We come across a sunlit clearing
a wondrous sight we seem to be sharing
a vision of vibrant colours flow
through the most spectacular rainbow
we stand hand in hand both staring

As time passes on darkness falls over the sky
we’re startled as we see Halley’s Comet pass by
it appears that the night
is also a shiny delight
And at the same time we both let out a sigh

I look at him and see his eyes shine
i feel this place is giving me a sign
as he looks back at me
inside him i now see
i am his and he is mine

By the light of the moon
the dish and the spoon
may in time run astray
to this land far away
as they sing a colourful tune

Color Me Red

“Your fingers are touching my skin like I am a fragile doll. 
A skin that bears both pleasure and pain. When you are near me, the emptiness inside is gone.
Abandoned I was, lying, bleeding, in the dark with thirst for revenge and a dangerous heart. 
But you overwhelmed me with your eyes. The way you reached out to me with your hand made me forget all hate inside.

A promise of prosperity…

If you only knew what I am going through. 
Where are you? I just need someone to talk to, but you were never there. “You’ll never be strong enough. You’ll never be good enough.”
Words like these were the ones who took away my smile and the light in my eyes.

How can I explain you where I have been?
I just want to protect you for the world full of cruelty outside. I just don’t want you to see the dark part of my soul. 

It’s still burning deep inside of me. I am suffering in silence. Please, let me free!
You want a reason? Can’t you feel it or see it? Can’t you sense it? It’s small even though it’s the reason you can stay with me…
I love you. I couldn’t love you more…..”

The songtress’s honey-sweet voice rang throughout the calm atmosphere of the Anteiku cafe, bringing with her a peaceful serene lull to all who listened to her melody. Such as it always was at the cafe, Lilith in her sparkling raven gown and the words within her heart escaping her lips into song. The customers enjoying their meals as they looked upon the girl. Both ghoul and human were at harmony here, in this dainty, pleasant joint.

I’ll Be Your Voice pt. 3

A Hernst fic I am writing. Based off the Deaf West Spring Awakening.

Summary: How and why Ernst got his voice/ why he was in the Dark I Know Well and during the canon musical what I headcanon was happening with Ernst and Hanschen (and all the other characters.) TW: rape, rape mention. abuse (sexual and physical.)

part 1     part 2

Back home, the lights were on and smoke was coming out of the chimney. His family must have already retired to the living room for the night.        

He walked inside and shut the door, pulling off his scarf and jacket. He felt a presence behind him as he hung up his jacket and turned around to see his father standing there with tense muscles. He stared down at Ernst, as if expecting something.        

Ernst offered a smile and a wave, not sure what else to say.        

“Where were you?!” His father yelled, his lips enunciating each word.        

Ernst winced, taking a deep breath and saying in a tone deaf voice “Hanschen Rilow.”      

Keep reading

Black Window

Im always looking through a window
Painted black by a crow

My last candle burned bright
And burnt itself out trying to provide me light

My heart guides my pen now not my eyes
Darkness blankets me with whispers and lies

Not even tears appear before staining my page
Not inside this holy cage

I scream and shout but never am heard
Not by that hateful bird

Please wont you peel away that paint?
Everyone here thinks themselves a saint


Save Me (Jimin)

Originally posted by sonyeondan

Summary: Jimin is an ethereal angel and the actual purest light in this world.

AU: Jimin x Reader

-Admin Daisy

I want to breathe, I hate this night
I want to wake up, I hate this dream
I’m trapped inside of myself and I’m dead
Don’t wanna be lonely, just wanna be yours
Why is it so dark where you’re not here
It’s dangerous how wrecked I am
Save me because I can’t get a grip on myself

“Y/N!” Hands shake you awake. A lamp comes on. Your vision is blurred. You’re cold, but you’re sweating.

“Y/N! Hey, hey!” Arms around you. You can’t breathe. You panic, try to pull away.

“Shhh. Hey, jagiya, it’s okay. You’re okay. Breath.” You cover your ears with your hands. Shake your head. Cheeks wet with tears. You don’t understand what’s going on. You’re pulled in closer to the boy next to you.

“Baby, it’s okay. It’s me. Don’t be scared. It’s just me, it’s just Jimin, don’t be scared.”

Keep reading

anonymous asked:






The way he kisses is engulfed in patience;
gentle, and passionate, as if to say,
“I want to know you right this second,
but I can wait if you want me to,
I just love the way you taste,
One day I hope you can trust me enough
to let me consume your soul.”
I get shivers down my spine
every time his hands graze my lower back,
and for the first time in a lover,
I am able to look him in the eyes and smile.
For the first time I feel a flame inside me
that isn’t doused in pure destruction—
it is warm, and calm,
and for the first time in all my years,
I feel my darkness turning into light.
—  beccamakalapua, 7.14.16

Chapter XXI: The Best of Sons (Pt. III)

“You are quite a mess,” Fëaluin said to me when I emerged once again from my chambers. He motioned and an army of servants led me away. My mind was still trying to comprehend all that had happened when I realized they had placed me in a bath and were pouring water over my head.

“Fëaluin, I wish to be left alone,” I said as my words seemed to echo inside my head. “Let me be.”

“I am afraid I cannot,” he said. “There are more pressing matters than your melancholia. There are fears spoken in whispers that Sauron is rising once more in Mordor.”

I pulled myself out of the bath and immediately assaulted by servants wiping the water away.

“Will we never rid ourselves of this evil,” I asked. “I grow tired of war. I do not want to go through it again.”

“Where there is light, there is darkness,” he said. “It has been that way since time began and will continue on until it ends. If it is not Sauron, it will something new.”

When the servants were done, they had dressed me in white embroidered with silver thread that took the shape of forest trees. I looked at myself in the mirror as my mind wandered.

“Where is Súlelenth,” I asked. “Has she gone?”

“Yes,” he said. “Did you not wish it to be so?”

“I cannot answer that, Fëaluin,” I said. “I do not know how to answer that.”

“Of course not,” he said softly. “I apologize.”

“For what do you have to apologize,” I asked. “You did not give me love and take it away only to have the sutures torn away from the wounds by happenstance. I do not wish to speak of her just now. I will see her again. Êlenuil is in love with her and it will not be long before he will ask for her hand and I will be expected to give it.”

Fëaluin said nothing. I made my way toward my study through the winding halls with him close behind. When I reached entered my study, Eldôr was waiting with Nimlos and Elranduil.

“Did Fëaluin tell what has happened,” Eldôr asked.

“Sauron has returned to Mordor,” I said sitting at my table noticed a message. “What is this?”

“That just arrived,” Elranduil said. “From Rivendell.”

I looked over the message briefly. When I was finished, I put it away.

“When should I expect Estel to arrive,” I asked.

“Within the week,” Eldôr answered. “He will arrive to use from our southern borders.”

“Another one,” I said flippantly. “I cannot seem to escape them.”

“Thranduil,” Nimlos began. “What is the matter?”

“Nothing is the matter,” I said. “Did you see your cousin safely on her way?”

“Yes,” he said. “It was her father that met us by the river.”

“I trust you did not speak to him of Êlenuil,” I said. “Why?”

“Her safe return was the only concern,” he said.

Everyone could see I was becoming rather agitated as I my composure seemed fail and I was shaking. I slammed my fist down on the table.

“Her father was of men, was he not?”

“Yes, he was,” Nimlos said. “Súlelenth is mortal. I do not see why that would upset you, Thranduil.”

“She is part of my wife,” I roared. “Another part of her that will die and I will never see again! I never want to see her again within the borders of this kingdom and I do not want her to see Êlenuil again!”

“Thranduil,” Elranduil began. “Stop it. You do not mean what you say.”

“Do I sound unsure of what I said,” I yelled.

“You sound hurt and angry,” he yelled. “Do not put lay that upon the shoulders of Êlenuil! He is the son of my son! You are my cousin and I love you but do not think for a moment I will let you hurt one of my own! King or not!

I grabbed his collar and he took hold of my hands trying to pull me away. I pushed him against the wall as Nimlos and Eldôr tried to pull us apart.

“Ada,” Legolas said as he walked in with Tarthôn, Aruilos, Ardôr and Orísil.

When I saw his face, I was ashamed. I dropped Elranduil and ran out of my study and out the front gate. I did not stop running until I collapsed in my sacred place beside Êlúriel’s tomb. I knew Elranduil was right and I was angry and hurting far more than I realized.

“Why,” I said sobbing. “Why could she have not been you? Why, Êlúriel? Why?”

I cry for hours. It was still winter and cold but I did not feel the cold. I was already numb with sadness. I wanted to be taken in grief to be with Êlúriel.

“Ada,” I heard Legolas say. I thought it was just another vision taunting me until I looked and saw him and Tarthôn kneeling  beside their mother’s tomb with me.

“I apologize,” I said. “You should never see me act in such a manner.”

“We are not angry,” Tarthôn said. “Nor is Elranduil.”

“He should be,” I said. “He was right. I cannot bear to look at him or Nimlos after the things I said.”

“I don’t know, cousin,” I heard Elranduil say. “You have said and done many things. Most of which I tend to ignore.”

We looked up and saw Elranduil and Nimlos looking down at us. My stomach turned.

“I know your heart still mourns Êlúriel,” Nimlos said. “Súlelenth is very much like her. Her mother and Êlúriel were very close. Near sisters as they had no other siblings.  I felt as you when I saw her father.”

“I suppose I must admit feeling the same,” Elranduil said. “Men are fragile and weak. They die. I would hardly wish to have one in the family but the heart will go where it is led.”

“I feel more for Êlenuil,” Tarthôn said. “Having to live long enough to watch her wither away and die.”

That thought never occurred to me—watching time steal youth and beauty away. Had Êlúriel remained with me, I knew she would look as she had the day I met her. Êlenuil would watch his love change as the seasons while he would never change at all.

I stood up and my sons followed. I went over to Elranduil and embraced him.

“Forgive me,” I said.

“As always,” he answered. “Father would not rest until I did so.”

“Am I forgiven, Nimlos,” I asked. “I will understand if not.”

“Thranduil, we are family,” he said embracing me. “I was never angry. But I know why you said those things. Eldôr explained it to us. The coming of Estel”.

“Who is Estel,” Legolas asked.

“He is the heir of Isildur,” Elranduil said. “I remember him. I also remember Oropher did not take much of a liking to him. Yet father has it on good authority that this one is far nobler than his ancestor.”

“Why would that upset you, Ada,” Tarthôn asked.

“Elrond’s daughter is in love with him,” Elranduil said. “The wardens have ears and thankfully Glorfindel says plenty for them to hear. Come, let us go inside. Dinner I am quite sure is prepared.”

Everyone looked at me. I had forgotten myself again—I was the King of Mirkwood and the leader of my people. I stepped forward to lead my family across the bridge to the welcoming light of our home.

**** **** **** ****

Time passed and the day came when I would see the power of Sauron face to face. The day was as any other—the court going about their work, Legolas spent time with Mîráre and they were often with Êlenuil and Súlelenth. Watching them reminded me of when I courted Êlúriel. That day, I was with Súriar discussing a fitting end to a volume of our history for the Second Age and beginning the third when Elmîr entered my study.

“Yes, Elmîr,” I said. “What do you have for me today?”

“He has come,” he said bowing. “He is not alone.”

I looked up at him—his face contorted in disgust. The three of us went into the throne room where my entire council waited in audience. Standing before them was a man with dark hair and gentle eyes. Before I could adjust my focus on him, I noticed he had beside him horrible little creature as black as pitch with slick skin and eyes far larger than his face would allow.

“What is that,” I whispered to Elmîr.

“That is hideous,” he said. “If you do not mind, I do not make me touch it.”

I walked over to the man. He respectfully bowed. He was extraordinarily measured considering he had come into my kingdom with such a monstrosity.

“What shall I call you, now that you stand beyond the borders of Rivendell,” I asked him.

“Aragorn, Son of Arathorn,” he said. “For I know you know well of my past.”

“What is this creature you bring with you?”

“Gollum,” he said. “Wretched creature he is, but I am afraid Sauron has done this to him.”

“I wants it, my precious,” Gollum said to himself. “He took it!”

I did not know to if I should address Gollum or leave him to himself.

“Is he speaking to me,” I asked.

“No,” Aragorn said. “To himself. He does not know where he is. Sauron tortured him mercilessly, I am afraid.”

“What did he look like before,” I asked, feeling some pity. “I am almost afraid to ask.”

“I do not know, for I was not born,” he said. “He has been this way for hundreds of years.”

“I have seen many disgusting creatures, but none such as this where I have pity yet am utterly disgusted at first sight.”

“I agree with you, Your Majesty,” he said. “But there is something that has taken his soul and turned it away to darkness. I am afraid it was one of my own that played a part.”

“What do you mean,” I asked.

“The War of the Last Alliance,” Eldôr said. “If you remember, that is where we fought together to defeat Sauron at Mordor so long ago. It comes back to haunt us once more.”

“He found a ring that belong to Sauron that he misplaced it seems,” Aragorn said. “From what I could gather from him, he lost this ring that Elrond said Isildur once had in his possession. I brought him to see if you get him to say more.”

Before I could answer, Legolas came around the corner with Tarthôn, Ardôr and Orísil and screamed in terror at the sight of Gollum. Gollum let out an equally loud cry I would liken to an animal in distress.

“Legolas,” I said. “Calm yourself.”

“What is that,” he asked.

“Aragorn, meet my son, Legolas,” I said, as I motioned to guards to take Gollum to the dungeon. “Your journey was long, I am sure. Please, rest and tomorrow we will discuss how to talk to Gollum.”

He bowed and followed Fëaluin away. I called Nimlos to me.

“Yes,” he asked.

“Wherever Gollum is placed, have the guards clean his cell often,” I said. “I am afraid he might leave a stain and render our dungeons useless.”–Excerpt from TKWR:BII The Saga of Thranduil by J.M.Miller 7-13-16

Images: ©2012, 2013, 2014. Warner Brothers Pictures. The Hobbit: The Unexpected Journey, The Hobbit: Desolation of Smaug, The Hobbit: Battle of the Five Armies. All Rights Reserved.

I was tagged by the sweet @ashipascanbe

RULES- tag 10 followers you wanna get to know more
BIRTHDAY- December 22
RELATIONSHIP STATUS- In love with frozen fruits
ZODIAC SIGN- Capricorn
SIBLINGS- Younger sister who looks more adult than me
PETS- I have a pet bottle
WAKE UP TIMES- I CANT WAKE UP (wake me up inside)
LEMONADE/ICED TEA- Both. Together.
DAY/NIGHT- Day is too hot. Night is too dark.
TEXT/CALL- Text, I do my best to avoid calls
SMILE/EYES- Again, both. Together.
SHORT/TALL- I’m considered tall here, but I’m only 166cm
CITY/COUNTRY- Maybe a mix of both

Oh my, the tagging part… I am kinda scared of tagging, but let’s go~ @therushingriver @kaylaincarnate @come-to-never-neverland-with-me @confusingdesign @herbs-and-journals @grimoireofanintrovertwitch @maid-of-nope @zitahawthorne @fallenangelmuse @victni
please feel free to do this or not do this, and if you do it, please tag me so I can stalk you :3

It was a sunny day
In autumn’s end,
With leaves rustling
As you left.
I remember the rays
That lighted your way
The shadow on your back
Was the image of the future I waited for.
It’s dark, it’s blinding,
I stretch my arms, searching,
I know you aren’t there,
Not anymore,
But I hide it inside
And crave for more-
More time, more laughing,
More than anything
The sight of you again.
But, will it come true?
Can it?
It’s been too long
Since you’ve been gone.
What if you do come back
Would you still find me?
For, I have become
Something I had never been,
Someone without a cause,
Someone without glee.
—  @uyirmei//07.08.16//