People are going to disappear from your side, and that’s okay.
I have no friends from my elementary school left. Yes, I had friends, but they aren’t in touch with me anymore. I drifted apart from them, because we found ourselves liking other things.
We moved on, and that’s okay. We were growing up.
I have no friends from my middle school days left. My circle of friends changed, and I found myself liking more people who defied the odds. Who challenged authority. Who questioned the world we lived in. However, most of them grew out of the things I liked, and I stayed loving my childhood cartoons and fantasy stories.
They moved on, but I didn’t, and that’s okay.
I kept a few of those friends throughout high school. I also gained a few friends. I was really into Anime at this point, and a lot of my friends were too. It was a common place we could find refuge in from the real world, while also finding stories to fit the real world into the ideals we found necessary.
I have one good friend left from high school. I still talk to a few on a rare day to day basis. Most have moved on, had kids, and made a life for themselves. Some went to the other side of the country, and some have moved to other countries. Some became too busy with life to hang out anymore, and others wish they could’ve stayed in touch but never found the time.
Their lives went in different directions than mine, and that’s okay.
Along my path of life, I keep meeting new people, and meeting new friends. Some with only one thing in common and desperate for someone to listen to them. Some with a plethora of things in common that click instantly. Some friends I can’t imagine my life without anymore. I never know who I’m going to find.
But eventually, even now, the friends I meet might disappear in the future, and that’s okay.
We are ever changing as humans, but we are never alone forever. Some people are walking very close to our path, just out of eyesight, because they weren’t meant to meet us yet. Others are too afraid to walk on our path. And some friends are in the line of our horizon, waiting for us to catch up.
And yes, there are going to be times when you’re walking alone. It’s going to feel like no one is going to join your path. You’re going to feel like everyone hates you, and wonder why no one wants to be your friend.
It doesn’t last forever, I promise.
So remember, when you feel alone, that all of your friends are leaving, that the world is never going to be the same, that you’re not worth keeping around, it’s not forever. It’s life transitioning.
So I like to think about what would happen if an alien sees, first hand, what a human filled with survival instincts and rage looks like. Mostly I just wanted to write this lol
Th'wed never thought the peaceful cargo ship would have crashed, attacked by smugglers for the rare jewels they had been assigned to watch over once it exchanged hands between them and the Humans. A gift of peace. He remembers sneering when he saw the group in ornamental armor and wondering why such a brutish race had survived so long without destroying itself. He cringed when one of them, a blonde female in the robes of a scribe, bared her teeth. All of them are savages.
When the ship went down on a hostile moon orbiting the gas giant he didn’t expect to survive. But he did, all because the humans covered him and the unshielded female. Waking up covered in the viscera of the crew and surrounded by the twisted perversion of the ship he immediately turned and vomited, uncaring for the tube like filaments on his head being coated in the green slime, the scales on them and his face turning a sickly yellow of fear and pain. The cover did not save him completely from harm, leg snapped all three toes curled in pain like a fist.
That’s when he heard it. The mournful wail that sounded more like a vengeful scream. The scribe was not worse for wear but her companions has no such luck, ornamental armor unable to save them from being pierced by the gutted ship. She kneeled beside another warrior, male perhaps, with a neck twisted in a strange way. She sniffed and to his amazement began gathering the group and the crew members, laying them side by side and crossing their arms, closing the eyes of the ones that still had faces. It was a long process and more than once she had to toss away a limb. He leaned over to vomit again.
When he leaned straight again the unnerving creature was staring at him, eyes wide and glossy. She bared her teeth again and made a strange barking sound that he tried to lean away from.
“Of all the fucking people to survive it’s the chick without a gun and the racist torrin.”
She pointed to the near by body of the male she wept over, his dark skin charred black from the flames.
“His name was Christofer and if he didn’t order them to protect you, you’d be dead. Thank him, if you think you can handle thanking a ‘brutish savage’.
The scales tinged pink with embarrassment. So she had heard him complaining to the captain. He never expected her to help him up, short stature surprisingly sturdy as she helped him limp away into the foliage. He was always amazed that such tiny creatures command such fear. She was patient with the shell shocked male, saving her own tears for when they had found water. She used her outer robe to set his leg and left him to go back and scavenger for supplies. Th'wed doesn’t worry much, taking the moment to mourn as quietly as possible, scales turning a dreary grey. Help will come soon. It has to.
Help did not come. In the passing of the gas giant and the sun, night and day both equal to three earthling days according to his guid, Morgan, she healed the hollow bones of his leg best to her ability but he suspects he will limp for the rest of his life. Her eyes grew colder everyday although she smiles more. He remembers almost fondly the hysterical laughter she had when she explained that her species barred their teeth in joy and politeness. She hunted for them while he used his own knowledge of those sector to find edible plants and fish. Their dynamic grew into a fondness, perhaps even friendship, the smaller alien often touching him. Petting his "hair” or examining his pink hued skin or his clawless limbs. She was fascinated with his eyes, large and round and completely black. Equated him to something she calls an owl.
He often looks back at the day he asked her how she knows to survive and hunt, the smile he is now able to differentiate from becoming cold and predatory.
“I grew up on a ship colony with my brother. When we landed for supplies we had to hunt for our food, too poor to use what credits we had for nutrient blocks. They caught us one day, chopped off my brothers hand when he took the wrap. When I joined the military to provide for them they gave me survival training. Never know when a ship crashes and you have to make it until a ship comes for you.”
His respect grew as he sat in the small lodging they built together. From the craftsmanship of the things she lovingly carved he suspected she wanted to be something else and not a military lackey. The short alien from then on began using familiar nick names and hugging often. Pack instincts. He would have sneered months ago at the notion. She was a peaceful woman who laughed more often than she cried and went against every stereotype he knew. It lulled him in security with her, forgetting the predator she was.
An animal, one he never saw before but was monstrous in size and shape attached him while he gathered one day, snapping his makeshift cane and almost crushing his ribs in one swipe of its spotted paw. It’s long snout split the wrong way, vertical mouth filled with slavering teeth. Knowing he was going to die he lied limp on the forest floor and awaited the golden afterlife. He heard a great roar from behind him and felt the sweeping air of a spear over his body.
The creature backed off while his human crouched over his body, eyes wild, pupils so blown they almost dominate her eyes. Her chest heaves and fists tighten. Looking at her face he felt both of his hearts almost stop in pure fear. He wonders how he could have ever mistaken her smiling for a show of aggression. He can clearly see the artificially sharpened teeth, something he dutifully ignored before, glistening in the reflective shine of the bright red gas giant hanging in the sky.
Opening her jaw in a way he almost couldn’t comprehend he let out a strangled roar and charged the thing. With every swipe it bleed. With every indigent scream it made at her she answered in kind only angrier. It was insistent, probably not used to its food fighting back, and made as to clamp its jaws around her. Screaming for her to run did nothing. She stood there face twisted in rage as she grabbed the closing jaws and. Tore. Them. Off.
She separated the jaws until a wet cracking sound echoed but didn’t stop until she tore it completely free, fingers dripping in blood. Green for the creature and red from her own ripped palms. She tossed back her head and screamed to the sky, red planet outlining her body like a bloody halo. She looked like a god of war her people so love to worship. Rescue came weeks later from a human ship honing onto the beacon from the crash. He was roomed in the med bay while she was escorted away on the large military colony and he didn’t see her for days while he messaged his queen. When she came back she was groomed and wearing the royal blue of a generals uniform, chest glittering with the metals of valor. She grinned and stood at attention.
“We have not been formally introduced. I am general Morgan Regina of sector Terra. I was sent to ensure the first official contact with a new species went well.”
He took the offered hand which he now knows is filled with nanotechnology, turning her bones to metal and her muscles into inexhaustible strength. Even turning off her pain receptors so she will not be hindered with her own pain. Swallowing thickly he wills his face into the unfamiliar stretch of a smile and her eyes glitter at the effort. He fears her. Respects her. And will probably die fighting his people for the alliance her people offer. He is indebted, it seems, to a savage brute.
For all its shortcomings towards the end of its run, xxxHOLiC still holds a special place in my heart.
If you’re not familiar with it, xxxHOLiC is a manga series written
and illustrated by CLAMP, a prolific, all-female group of Japanese manga
artists who have been creating since the mid-eighties. (Their body of work
includes classics such as Magic Knight Rayearth, Angelic Layer, Cardcaptor
Sakura, and Tsubasa: Reservoir Chronicle.)
The story follows Watanuki Kimihiro, a high school student
who strikes a deal with a witch. If he becomes her assistant, she’ll take away
the power that leaves him plagued with visions of ghosts and monsters. But
because it’s such a big wish, he’ll have to work for her for…a while. Maybe
forever. So he becomes the witch’s cook, maid, and errand-boy, all wrapped up
Although it runs parallel to and intersects with other CLAMP stories, xxxHOLiC stands fully on its own as a horror story about desire and
addiction. The series consists of short arcs and one-shots, each centering on a particular customer – both average humans and fantastic spirits. Like Watanuki, each
has a wish. Like Watanuki, each must pay a price. Sometimes the cost is as simple as a lock of hair, but other times it wreaks catastrophe on the rest of their life. Thus each customer’s story
becomes an exploration of different aspects of desire – addiction to social
media, academic ambitions, the desire to see a loved one again – and the
effects it can have on one’s life.
There are many lovely
things about this manga: the gorgeous art style, Watanuki’s temper tantrums,
the pervasive creepiness. But the
best part is the witch, Yuuko. Not only is she a total troll with a wicked
sense of style, she is constantly dropping truth bombs:
So many ideas swirled in my head for these two, but hopefully you enjoy this. (And we can thank a messenger fox for making this possible!)
First Kiss Headcanon:
- Kallias and Viviane technically had their first kiss when they were quite young - though Kallias refuses to consider it their “official” first kiss.
- It’s quite a story that always brings a laugh out of Viviane who vividly recalls that fateful day.
- As a teen Kallias was followed by a flock of females (and a few males) who were out to seek his hand in marriage.
- He fled to the barn where the messenger foxes were kept in the hopes of hiding from his suitors.
- Viviane was in the building playing with the foxes when Kallias arrived breathless from his close escape.
- She laughed when Kallias told her his plight regarding the horde of fae who wished to be his spouse.
- Viviane cheekily offered to be his guard to ward of the suitors along with the little army of messenger foxes.
- Kallias chuckled. Thankful that Viviane’s humor could relieve the stress he was currently feeling.
- He half-heartedly told her that the only way to make the suitors leave is if they believed he was already spoken for in terms of a lover.
- Immediately once the words left his mouth he wish he could take them back. He wanted more than anything for Viviane to fill that role - to be his lover, friend and wife…but the risk was too great if those of the Court wished to use her against him.
- Viviane, clearly noticing Kallias’ troubled expression, wanted to take away his pain. He was her closest friend and at times she felt that their bond of friendship was perhaps stronger than they imagined.
- So she moved on instinct. Not thinking about anything else other than comforting Kallias.
- Viviane moved to kiss his cheek - a gesture that she had done before and usually brought a sigh of happiness from Kallias, but at that moment a messenger fox leapt into Kallias’ lap.
- The movement jarred Kallias as he turned his head causing his and Viviane’s lips to collide.
- It was so quick, but the moment their lips touched it was as if the breath was stolen right from their chests.
- “Kallias I-!” Viviane leaped up. “I - I didn’t mean to kiss you - well actually I was going to kiss you - but not like that.”
- As Viviane stuttered out apology after apology Kallias was frozen stiff in shock.
- His face turned pink as he recalled how her soft lips felt against his in that brief moment that he wished could have lasted an eternity.
- Of course Viviane chose that moment to take his face in her hands with worry coating her eyes. Her gentle fingers on his cheeks made them flush as she leaned forward to inspect his face.
- “Kallias you’re turning red! Should I call a physician? Is there something I can do to help?!”
- Kallias swallowed down the sudden urge to pull her back in for another kiss. And he tampered down the need to tug her into his lap and show her just how exactly she could help him.
- But Kallias brushed those thoughts away like snow upon his shoulders. Maybe one day he could answer those desires, but today was not the day…
- It wouldn’t be until many years later for the to day arrive when Kallias and Viviane would kiss again after he arrived back from Under The Mountain.
- And this time as their lips touched, Kallias made sure that it lasted.
- His fingers threaded in Viviane’s long hair as he poured all of his hope and love into their kiss.
- He could feel Viviane match his need. She desperately tugged him impossibly closer as she kept whispering his name between breaths.
- Their tongues tasted each other and their hands were constantly in motion.
- Each of them murmuring words that they had been holding back for so long - words that echoed from the depths of their souls and spoke of a dream that had finally became a reality.
- Their reunion of a kiss sent them tumbling into the snow where they finally broke apart slowly yet their hands remain latched onto each other.
- “Now that was a kiss,” Viviane whispered.
“And I plan to do that everyday for the rest of our lives,” Kallias paused. “If you’ll have me that is.”
- Viviane blinked. “Are you…proposing?” Hope laced Viviane’s tone as her eyes widened in disbelief.
- The nervous smile on Kallias’ lips was enough to answer her as he brushed snow from her hair and rested his hand upon her blushing cheek.
- For the next hour Viviane made sure that her answer was quite clear amid kisses and touches that made Kallias moan in happiness.
- And so Kallias’ dreams of Viviane being his lover, friend and wife came true…and to both of their delight they would soon add mate to those titles as well.
¡Hola, Cassie! I have a question about Julian and Cristina. They've been my favorite characters. Julian, so sweet, suffering and sad; and Cristina, that I felt it as the heart of the book and its characters. But as I read TDA, I had the impression that Cristina and Julian haven't developed any friendship. A pleasant companionship, perhaps, but not friendship. So, we'll can see a deep friendship between Julian and Cristina in LoS? Muchos besos.
I’m delighted you like Jules and Cristina! I would say pleasant companionship describes it pretty well. Which isn’t to say that they will never deepen their friendship, but Julian has exactly one friend: Emma, who he trusts because he has known her all his life. Right now, under the burden of all his secrets, it is nigh impossible for him to make friends outside his family. As for Cristina, she is Emma’s friend, her very close friend, the person in whom Emma confides about Julian. It would be very difficult for Cristina to become Julian’s deep friend and retain Emma’s total trust and confidence.
It’s totally normal to want your favorite characters to be friends, but characters do have loyalties and come with previous baggage. There is a primacy of other relationships in Cristina’s life — Jaime; Mark; Emma; Kieran; Diego, all of whom are deeply enmeshed in her life in LoS. Not to say she and Julian won’t be friends, just to say there’s a reason for their distance.
do you ever just like suddenly realize that you would totally date one of your friends
not like you actively have a crush on them or anything
but like “you are so amazing and great and if you wanted to date me i would be extremely okay with that plan, but if you don’t want to do that i am content to never mention anything about it and i will happily continue being friends and enjoying you platonically”
Hey, I'm curious. Is there anything psychologically different between Novel-Izaya and Anime-Izaya, and is there any difference between Novel-Shizuo and Anime-Shizuo?
Oh my, where do I even begin?
There are definitely things psychologically different from Novel-Izaya and Anime Izaya.
(Fun fact - Anime is an anagram of Namie, I just mispelled it lol)
I talked about it in this post some time ago. Generally, anime Izaya is made to seem invincible especially in the first season. And because they left out important novel scenes, there’s inconsistency in his character. For example, how did he get knocked out so easily by Slon while talking to Kujiragi when he had the advantage before? It was actually because Kujiragi mentioned Shizuo and Izaya ‘fell silent’. She spoke about Shizuo being a hindrance and thanked Izaya for landing him in jail.
Whether he was worried about Shizuo or not, Izaya’s moment of silence and the description of his bad feeling shows that he’s not invincible even though he suddenly seemed to gain the upper hand. He was affected by his human feelings and emotions when Kujiragi mentioned Shizuo, for whatever reason.
I took that as a Shizaya moment because it was very unusual for Izaya. But the point is, Izaya has human feelings and emotions that can render him vulnerable to unexpected consequences and is definitely not invincible, even though he may seem like it.
This link was something the anime left out, the novels expands on this further with his conversations with other characters and the telephone pole scene where he punched a telephone pole as he thought of betraying Shinra.
In retrospect Shinra, who lived confidently above this world, did invoke some jealousy in him.
Yet he was attempting to betray even a friend like that. Not a friend by Izaya’s standards, but a “friend” as defined by most people in the world.
He’ll probably be mad at me if he finds out that I went to meet Celty taking the head with me.
Izaya couldn’t help but laugh slightly as he pictured his only “friend” by the world’s standards getting mad at him.
There is nothing to be afraid of.
This is the way I have lived my life all along, he laughed as he thought –
Laughed – Laughed –
He clenched his right fist and slammed it hard into the telephone pole next to him.
- Durarara Volume 9
This was a very important scene in Izaya’s character development especially after they showed his past with Shinra, his only friend. It shows Izaya’s conflict over his own desires which has governed the way he has lived all along and one of his only two relationships - the friendship he has with his only friend. Izaya was affected by a human relationship, and it really shows he isn’t some villain but just an abnormal human who is eternally true to his own desires (but is still affected by relationships like everyone else)
I’m working on a theory for Izaya’s attachment to humanity. It’s taking much longer than I thought since I lack the time to sit down and finish it. But I intend on showing how Izaya is actually very human. It will of course include reference to the Shinra stabbing incident as Izaya said himself it was probably the only thing that affected the formation of his personality in a significant way. I’ll also refer to the interviews about Izaya in his novel. So I’m currently integrating all the information together, both old and new about Izaya to formulate a theory that may explain Izaya’s attachment to humanity. You might want to look out for that if you’re interested in the psychology of novel Izaya.
Other than novel Izaya not being invincible (both psychologically and outwardly), I guess another psychological difference would be that Izaya is actually a very private person. The impression I got from the first season was that Izaya was a very open person (not open-mindedness, as in socially open).
But Izaya behind all his talk and interaction is actually very private. You don’t see it in the anime, but in the novel he thinks to himself a lot, reflects quite a bit, and generally is…very confident in his own identity internally. For example, Mikado’s first impression of Izaya was not that he was a weird person, but that he looked like an ‘intellectual that gave tuition in some remote district’. It speaks to the demeanor novel Izaya has that Mikado would form such an impression of him.
Even though he might seem open with humans, Izaya actually keeps to himself a lot. Shinra said himself in his interview that Izaya’s not the type to stand in front of people. You can see that in both the novel and anime version of middle school Izaya. While he was portrayed like a rebel in the anime, in the novel he was just distant and enjoying observing humans. He was actually a model student, not a rebel, so that’s another difference in portrayal there.
What a strange guy.
I’ll just keep observing him in the future.
But I have to watch out. Getting too close to him might be dangerous.
So this is just a small scene when Izaya thinks as he watched Shinra leave to go home to Celty (though he didn’t know that yet). But even with Shinra Izaya is already distancing himself. He tells himself he can’t get too close to Shinra, can’t let himself be too affected and involved in their friendship. Perhaps he’s apprehensive Shinra wouldn’t satisfy his expectations, perhaps he just doesn’t want to become like everyone else - whatever the reason is, Izaya has, since young, kept a distance between himself and humans. So much that he has to be ‘wary’ when he feels himself getting closer to Shinra than necessary.
At first sight, he looked like a gentle-natured man of slender build, but his features had a relative sharpness in them, making him the perfect exemplification of the word “handsome”. He was smiling as if willing to accept anything in the world as part of him; yet at the same time his eyes shone without mercy as if he held contempt for everything except himself. The way he dressed was idiosyncratic, but it was hard to point at why. Overall, he gave an elusive and mercurial vibe.
- Durarara Volume 5
What are the implications of this? Well, it just shows how distant Izaya is from humans. And how he keeps to himself. Even though he’s handsome, it doesn’t matter to him, and he may only use his good looks for human observation and not any socialization. He has a stable internal perception of his love for humans, so he’s willing to accept anything, but at the same time he’s the only one who understands his love for humans so he holds a contempt for everything except himself.
One reason why could be his tendency to keep things to himself and how he’s a private person. Like, he says he loves humans and declares love for humans but except with Shinra (and a reluctant Shizuo), doesn’t try to form any sort of relationship with them. He doesn’t try to connect to them in a way they can understand (maybe because he can’t because of his upbringing) and so they can’t understand him. And so he’s left with him only understanding himself and being shunned and outcast from society, which will naturally breed contempt.
That might be why Izaya seems mysterious and ‘elusive’ - because he’s such a private person. He’s more introverted in the novels, in that it seems natural for him to be alone with his thoughts. I guess you can kind of see this in Volume 5 where he’s shown to have stayed at an internet cafe alone while working on his plans for the city, left alone and walked away alone, he basically just does things alone.
Novel Izaya is also not in control of everything. Well you can see that in the anime as well when he got knocked out twice. But I mean, he’d move the piece that will give him the most advantage, but generally he’s open to any result. He just seems like he’s in control all the time because he accepts everything that happens (except with Shizuo). Because he loves humans unilaterally and doesn’t have any personal feelings or relationships with them (except Shinra and Shizuo) So again, he’s not invincible in his predictions. He does have some idea of how things will go and what he wants to see, but he’s less of a ‘mastermind’ in that sense. He’s still a mastermind, but has less of the ‘mastermind mindset’? In that he doesn’t expect everything to go according to plan.
And I suppose novel Izaya is more sensitive. You don’t see it in the anime, but when he was left out of hotpot, it was mentioned he ‘felt more lonely than usual’. Tsukumoya said that he’s lonely but accepts that loneliness. And he was not happy at being left out of the events of Volume 4, which is part of the reason why he wanted the ‘city’s holiday’ to be over. He’s more human in that sense. Like, he’s a logical minded man, but he actually acts on his feelings quite a bit. He is affected by his feelings, sometimes even driven by them (like in the death match with Shizuo) and is definitely human.
Also, novel Izaya is more like a child. As in, there are various times in which he’s described like a kid having fun. So in that sense he really doesn’t have any malice. He just wants to see, like a kid discovering more about the world. Shiki agrees with this, in both the novels and his interview for Izaya’s novel. I’ll be expanding on this with my Izaya attachment theory in the future.
Can you please do RFAs + MC who lacks interest in dating due to bad relationship experience in the past?
Anon Said: Hiya!! I’m sorry if this one is too specific, but can you do the RFA/V/Saeran reacting to a poly MC who’s other (non RFA) partner cheated on them and MC doesn’t really know what to do? I’m sorry that it’s so specific,,, I just really need some comfort right now…. I’m so sorry
Whoa, this has been sitting in our inbox forever, so sorry! We combined these because they seemed to fit together.
You and Zen were good friends
When you introduced him to your significant other, he was a little wary, but accepted the situation
One day, he walked into his coworker’s dressing room to ask them a question and saw your boyfriend kissing his stylist
He felt horrible, but he quickly snapped a photo before they noticed
He talked to you later and showed you the photo, trying to be of some comfort as you started crying
Of course, you dumped the cheater right away
Zen was the best support as you tried to recover
But it was a really tough time for you since you were very emotionally attached to your ex
Unfortunately for Zen, he was slowly developing feelings for you this whole time
But he was terrified of saying anything after all you’ve been through
He could tell, after a few months, you still weren’t ready for any new relationship
His confession is an accident after you asked why he hadn’t been dating for awhile
When you find out, you cut yourself off from him for a little while
He understands and waits for you, but you do sort out your own feelings and find you like him too
Turns out he’s so much better than anyone you’ve had before
You found out by accident when you and Yoosung were out getting some ice cream
Then you saw someone who looked oddly like your current boyfriend
So you pull out your phone and ask where he was
You watched as he blatantly lied to you while on a date with someone else
Yoosung watched this all unfold and followed you out
Not without “accidentally” running into the guy and smearing ice cream all over him
Yoosung finds you nearby crying on a bench
You hadn’t been dating the guy long, but this had been the third relationship you’ve either been cheated on or dumped
He tried to convince you otherwise as you started putting yourself down
He had liked you for quite awhile, so it was hard to see you like this
After seeing what these relationships had done to you, he starts dropping subtle hints about his feelings for you
“It’s okay….you’ll find people out there. Sometimes they’re closer than you think.”
You were super oblivious to it for a long time, simply because you had stopped believing anyone could actually love you
Still, Yoosung stayed by you whenever you needed someone…even just a friend
After a really, really long time, your hard head got it
You were determined to make Yoosung the happiest person on the earth
You wanted to surprise your long time significant other with cake on a stick
You asked Jaehee to come along to help you
When you tracked him down, you were shocked to see him with his arm around someone else
He sees you and is quick to explain that it is his cousin
Only, his “cousin” says, “Oh! Is that your cousin that you have a photo of in your wallet?”
Jaehee just shakes her head honey that’s not his cousin
You drop the cake and rush away
Jaehee follows you just to make sure you’re okay
She makes you come back to her place
You’re a complete mess for the next few hours but Jaehee is very calm and comforting
She’s really the reason you’re able to get back on your feet after the whole ordeal
She encourages you to get more hobbies and hangs out with you more often
Eventually, she comes to you and says, “MC…I think I’m ready to take this friendship to the next level.”
“You mean…best friends?”
He saw the signs
His father had been in more than one relationship, and not all of his partners were faithful
So, Jumin tried to warn you, but you brushed him off
A few weeks later, he finds out his intuition is correct when you show up at his house crying
He brings you inside and listens to the whole story, his heart breaking a little with each of your sobs
He takes it on himself to make sure you get back on your feet and recover
He invites you over often, calls or texts whenever he can, and gives you as much attention as you need when you’re with him
But all this time with you is making him realize his own feelings
Still, he could tell you were far from ready
It hurt more because you thought you were burdening him
You kept trying to match him with other women, thinking he might feel unhappy with you
Finally, he just gets sick of it and admits his feelings
You’re shocked, but you graciously say you’ll take the time to think about it
That night, you think over a lot of things and you know you like him…but you’re still not sure about a relationship
When you tell him, he’s very patient and offers to take it slow
So, you two do…and eventually those soft feelings start to develop over time
You’re so glad you took the risk
Your boyfriend was acting distant lately
You started to see some changes in his behavior as well, which were draining to you
Feeling suspicious, you ask Seven if he could do you a favor and do a light background check
He’s all too happy, seeing how the relationship has been toxic to you
He comes back with the worst news…your boyfriend was actually married with a kid, and he was cheating on his wife with you
Of course, he didn’t tell you the other havoc he wreaked on the man’s life
Your encounter with your “boyfriend” was ugly and horrible, and you couldn’t bear going back home after
So you’re sitting in your car crying, and Seven calls you
When he hears you, he immediately tells you to come over
He’s prepared with all your favorite foods and stuff, but it doesn’t seem to work
He finally manages to calm you down by just sitting there and listening
It’s just too much hearing you hurt like that, and he just slips up that he loves you
It doesn’t bode well…you’re definitely not ready for that and you distance yourself from him
He respects your wishes and stays away from you, beating himself up for his mistake
But after a very long time, you realize you might actually miss his friendship…or perhaps you wanted something more all this time
You go back to him and confess, but he’s still hesitant as he doesn’t want to pressure you
So, he goes by your pace and you know you can rely on him for anything
You found out your boyfriend had cheated on you and you wanted to confront him
But you were little nervous, so you asked Saeran if he could linger nearby
He wasn’t sure why, but he agreed and joined you
He watched as you two argued and things got really heated
But when he saw the man raise a hand to hit you, he snapped
He intervened right away, punching the man squarely in the face enough to stun him
Then he grabbed you and dragged you far away from the place
You were pretty badly shaken up, so he sat you down and waited for you to calm
He started to become more protective of you after that
And he also tried to help you recover, since you tried locking yourself up
In the process, he got to know you a lot better and started realizing he was falling fast and hard
Between you trying to build yourself up again and him trying to figure his own issues out, he said nothing for a long time
Little did he know, his support had softened your heart
One day, you tell him, “I don’t want to rush things, but….I think I might like you.”
Suddenly, he has nothing more to hide
Maybe it might take some time, but you two work it out together
You were in a pretty verbally abusive situation as it was
V recognized it, and tried to help you see it, but you couldn’t
Until you found out your significant other of three years had been cheating on you
When V found out, he immediately reached out to you
He had been in a similar situation, so he tried to walk you through as much as he could He was there whenever you needed to talk
You two started spending more and more time together
You just felt so comfortable around him
Neither of you quite remember when you started to fall for each other
It happened slowly and naturally
Dating was a smooth transition after what you two had gone through
Forgive me, Wakaba. It hurt, didn’t it? When I slapped you in the dining hall. Sorry about that. I understand now. You’re totally right. This isn’t normal for me. I’m going to take back who I was. Thank you for helping me to find my true self again.
I do not remember the exact year, but it wasn’t as many years ago as one would think. I used to be in this Naruto RP forum (because Naruto RP was and probably still is freakin’ fun) that was one of those rare places that, while not exactly ideal, was still pretty damn good. Sure, the mods had some stinking ego that passed over to the IC end of things, lamentably, but they were tame and could have been leagues worse.
I was a Jounin in charge of a team of three Chuunin, and this forum had a system of subforums that was used to go on “adventures” with your team. It was pretty fun! The Jounin would basically come up with a plot for the mission and the Chuunin had to work their way through the mission, and it allowed for character development, hardships, fire-forged friendships or rivalries, perhaps even conflict (yum!), etc. It was considered extremely rude to post in an Adventure thread, as you were basically hijacking the thread. Long story short, I was going on the planned adventure with my three disciples (and I must mention that the three of them are very good writers) when, out of quite literally nowhere, he appears.
A post by a username we don’t know updates our thread, so we go check it and all we see is one line of crudely written text saying:
“where is my brother sasuke tell me and i wont kill you”
The username was steveuchiha. I was laughing already because it was quite clear that this person had no idea what he was doing, but I actually had to call the NASA base in Houston after checking his character page because my sides reached orbit instantly. thIS KID HAD THE CRUDEST CHARACTER PAGE, IT BASICALLY READ LIKE:
That’s it, that was it. That was tHE WHOLE THING, JUST POSTED WITHOUT A CARE IN THE WORLD AND WE JUST HAD TO LIKE IT.
So I can’t stop laughing like a freaking hyena when one of the Chuunin, irked OOC and infuriated IC (since his character was temperamental), tells him both OOC and IC to piss off.
Those were his famous last words because Steve Uchiha had other plans. In a tad-too-fast response, Steve writes a fULL FREAKING PARAGRAPH OF CRUDE BEATDOWNS, SOMETHING LIKE:
“i grab u and punch u in the face then i throw u into the air and i jump after you and kick u in the tummy then i put you in a special hold and slam u against a tree and then i charge up a rasengan and hit u with it in the face where is my brother sasuke”
AND SEE, BY THIS POINT, I JUST COULDN’T HOLD MY LAUGHTER ANYMORE BECAUSE I HAVE NEVER SEEN SOMEONE AS DEVOID OF FUCKS BECOME SOME SORT OF STOIC, MONOTONE WHIRLWIND OF VIOLENCE. BUT THE BEST PART IS THAT HE KEPT POSTING LIKE THAT. HE MADE AROUND SEVEN POSTS LIKE THAT, ONE AFTER THE OTHER, WITHOUT ANY REPLY FROM US IN THE MIDDLE. HE LITERALLY JUST MADE SEVEN OR EIGHT POSTS POORLY DETAILING THESE INSANE COMBO WOMBOS AND THEY ALL ENDED WITH THE LEGENDARY LINE: where is my brother sasuke
SO WE ARE ALL LAUGHING OUR TOOSHIES OFF AT THE SHEER AUDACITY AND THE MENTAL IMAGES WHEN AN ADMIN STEPS IN AND MAKES THE TYPICAL PROFESSIONAL WARNING LIKE
“User steveuchiha, this is your first warning: Your character page is insufficient, your character is not approved and you just interrupted an Adventure thread, something that is heavily against the rules. Delete your posts and fix your page or we will delete the posts for you and count it against your tally.”
This, my friends, is where any tale would have ended. It’s where a user would have thought “hey, maybe I should have read the etiquette guidelines”, this is where our homo sapiens sapiens kicks in and we stop fucking up.
But this is not any tale, this is the tale of Steve Uchiha, and he was having none of this bullshit.
So what does Steve Uchiha do?
Why, open a can of whoopass on the admin, of course.
I sWEAR IT WAS INHUMAN HOW STEVE KEPT MAKING THESE RABIDLY MONOTONE POSTS, ONE AFTER THE OTHER, POORLY WRITTEN DESCRIPTIONS IN FIRST PERSON THAT WENT AGAINST ANYTHING LOGIC OR ETIQUETTE WOULD WARN YOU AGAINST. ACCORDING TO CHARLES DARWIN, STEVE UCHIHA SHOULDN’TEXIST. HE MUST HAVE MADE ANOTHER 13 POSTS AFTER THE ADMIN, DETAILING HOW HE SHOT HIM WITH A KAMEHAMEHA AND THEN DID THE LION’S BARRAGE ON HIM AND PUT HIM IN LEE’S LOTUS PILEDRIVER, EACH AND EVERY SINGLE POST CONCLUDED WITH THE SAME KEYWORDS:
“where is my brother sasuke”
The admin gave Steve Uchiha a 2nd warning.
It was met with yet another whirlwind of combos.
A 3rd warning came and…
This is as far as I am willing to tell you. The rest of the story is better left unheard. The ending is exactly what you all predict, but I think we can all be happier thinking that, even to this day, Steve Uchiha keeps pummeling random people, ever searching for the truth, never giving up on his brother Sasuke.
Here’s one for you, Steve Uchiha. May you find your brother Sasuke.
The best part? There was no Sasuke. This was an AU Naruto setting.
Revolutionary Girl Utena (Shoujo Kakumei Utena) is a 1997 anime directed by Kunihiko Ikuhara. Utena Tenjou is an eighth-grade girl who wishes to become a prince, and because of it gets caught up in a strange dueling game played by her fellow middle- and high-schoolers. As Utena fights to protect – and befriend – Anthy Himemiya, her shy classmate but also the mysterious Rose Bride at the center of the duels, the stakes become higher and the game more dangerous.
Utena is an amazing and very worthwhile anime, but it is also an extremely intense and disturbing one. I love the show, but it is irresponsible to recommend it to people without a warning about the subject matter. I believe Utena has the potential to be be very cathartic and comforting for people, especially wlw, who’ve experienced trauma, but also very dangerous with regard to triggers. I’ve put together this guide so that people curious about the show can be forewarned and watch it in safety, or choose not to if they deem it too disturbing.
Many thanks to the volunteer editors/proofreaders who helped me complete this!
Last fall, I presented a paper on relationship anarchy. For those of you who are unfamiliar with the term (or concept), it can loosely be understood as a style of interpersonal relationships that doesn’t prioritize or hierarchialize relationships with others based on what takes place within them, at least a priori. In short, there’s a uniqueness to each relationship which makes their translation between relationships difficult to gather––a kind of ineffability that gets lost or violated in the transition. So, for example, you may relate with someone in a way that tends to be more like friendship: perhaps you sometimes get together for coffee, talk about things that are going on with your life, go for walks, make dinner together sometimes, etc––but, sometimes you mess around, not too often, but sometimes. Then, you may have another relationship that is a bit more weighty––for one reason or another it’s got a trajectory that shoots out into the future, a place where you may see yourself growing vegetables and living together, sharing projects, intertwining intricately. And then, just to have more than two examples, you may have a friend that is more traditionally just a friend: you watch hockey together, talk about books you’ve been reading, get a drink, whatever. There’s a complex calculus taking place in all of these relationships, a shifting definition, murky waters, not only interrelationship but intrarelationship, as well––just because you fucked around last time doesn’t mean it’ll definitely happen this time, just because you didn’t hold one another last time doesn’t mean you won’t this time, etc.
The point being is that, out of the gate, you can’t prioritize based on the activities that go on within the relationship––the only thing that can be said is that the relationships differ. Now, in lived experience, you may want to spend more time with the person who you see yourself growing vegetables with (this is one of the miserable aporias of existence: love seems infinite, but time isn’t…) but this isn’t because you have sex or because you don’t have sex, it isn’t because they’re “more than a friend” or whatever coarse terminology is hoisted upon it––it’s because that’s the way that relationship goes, its particular mode––you require more time with them for one reason or another: they ignite you, they unravel you beautifully, they support you unflinchingly, they catalyze splendid complexity and nuance.
After I presented this paper, I spent some time with one of my former professors, a vibrant and shimmering man with a long philosophical history, but more importantly an insatiable thirst for life, gaiety, and joy––his continuing project being resolutely existential and affirmative. As we rode the bus late at night, he said to me something to the effect of: I absolutely loved your paper, why would we ever want people to be with us who don’t want to be with us? Why would we ever want to exercise power and control over loved ones, for that negates or corrodes love, rots it constitutionally. And then, in passing, right before I got on the bus I was transferring to without him, he said something to the effect of: what you need to be able to do relationship anarchy well is an incredible amount of radical aloneness. At the time, this comment slid right off me, it didn’t stick for an instant longer than hearing it and offering a surface response without thinking, “Yeah, you’re right, I think.”
What does radical aloneness mean, anyway. To me, it’s some sort of commitment to your shit, what you’ve got going on, a wellness and health that supports engagements with others, comes to the rescue when you want to lash out and heave at others, take people down because of your own insecurities. One who has cultivated an abundant radical aloneness can let the other be because they’ve got their own projects and projections, their own vital flow. If the one they love wants to be with others for whatever reason, they can be upset and bothered, even jealous of course, but on the whole everything is okay, for they are fecundity. You only know you haven’t cultivated radical aloneness when it’s too late, when you need it, unfortunately. Radical aloneness shouldn’t be equated with the singular or the individual either––sometimes radical aloneness means that you have fostered relationships with others that support you and supplement you. Other times radical aloneness means being actually alone, but alone is of course always populated by others as well, even if you’re alone in space at a given time.
Events of late have lead to reflect upon the ways that I create, sustain, and tend to my sense of radical aloneness. I think that, in other circles, this would be taken up as self-care, but this is unfortunate, I think. Radical aloneness can encompass what is broadly construed as self-care, sure, but sometimes radical aloneness means fleeing the self, evacuating the self’s rigid postures and habits, and setting out on unforeseen trails––instead of watching over the self, dismantling the self, letting the light shine in, opening up a window, cracking things up a bit. Maybe I’m being too fine with distinctions, but I think there’s a difference. Beyond that, I think that radical aloneness is the wellspring of being with others confidently and creatively: it is from this shimmering becoming that we can glow with others, connect with others in productive and dazzling ways. Radical aloneness as generative and combinatorial, experimental and stochastic, seeking to build and proliferate. Sometimes self-care is necessary to do this: sometimes you just need someone to make you an avocado sandwich, but an avocado sandwich isn’t going to propel you into radiance, just get you into the position where you can once again have the opportunity to luxuriate.
Maybe in subsequent posts I can explore the ways in which I cultivate this radical aloneness, or perhaps the times when it would have been immensely useful to have access to.
I love swaplock where Sherlock is the one with the crush and Molly is oblivious, but everything else is the same. :) May I humbly request?
Sherlock looked up, startled. “What?”
“With the flowers,” John nodded to the bouquet on Molly’s desk. “You bought them, didn’t you?”
Sherlock scowled, shoving his hands in his coat pockets. “Not according to her.”
“What’s that mean?” John asked, amused.
“Means she didn’t read the card, obviously.”
“Why not take her to lunch or something?”
“Because, John, she’s not that sort of…ugh.” Sherlock stalked off, glowering. He waited until John had caught up with him. “She doesn’t take hints very well.”
“Well, knowing you, you didn’t put the card in the flowers,” John said.
“I…had it written out…”
“Okay, but still missing the point.”
“Well…she should know by now nobody buys her flowers, she could have seen me walk in with them!” Sherlock blustered.
“Okay,” John nodded, humoring him. “How?”
“Well…when…through security feeds!” Sherlock tried.
“Mm, right, and when does she have time to hack the security feeds, on her lunch hour?” John shook his head. “Sherlock, just ask her out.”
“Ask who what?”
Both men turned with a start.
“Uh…” Sherlock flicked a nervous glance to John, then back at Molly.
“Sherlock is taking you to lunch,” John said. “That’s nice of you, Sherlock, well I’m going back home, let me know if anything comes up!” he slapped his friend on the back, waved goodbye to Molly and jogged off.
“So…lunch?” Molly asked, pushing a stray lock of hair behind her ear.
Sherlock followed the curve of her fingers, distracted. Blinking quickly, he shrugged. “Yes! No…I…had thought dinner…instead.”
“Sounds like fun!” she smiled brightly. “I’ve got loads to do, so lunch wouldn’t have worked out anyway, I’ll see you tonight, seven-ish?”
“Yes, I’ll pick you up-“
“Oh no it’ll be faster if I meet you, what’s the address?”
A plan quickly formulated in his mind. “You know Angelo’s restaurant?”
“I do, love it there.”
“Yes I know,” he murmured.
“I said ‘Oh good’,” he answered quickly, flustered. “Yes. Angelo’s. Seven-fifteen.”
“Right. Okay!” she jotted down the time and place on the notebook she carried.
“See you then!”
Sherlock would have been lying if he said he’d nearly ducked his head to kiss her cheek, but she was past him before he could complete the motion. Well, there would be time for kissing later…he hoped.
Sherlock Holmes was, for lack of a better word, utterly besotted. Molly Hooper, for whatever reason, either had no idea, or no interest. He felt rather sick to his stomach, the idea of her rejecting him, and thus ending their friendship. Perhaps she was oblivious, it was entirely possible, after all, it wasn’t as if he’d been clear from the start how he’d have liked their relationship to go. Well, he could and would clear all that up tonight.
Later that evening, around seven-ish
Molly ran a hand through her still slightly-damp hair. The windy evening had mostly dried it, but she was all-too-aware she looked rather wind-blown as she stepped through the doors to Angelo’s restaurant.
“Sherlock Holmes’ party,” she murmured, breathless, trying to comb down her hair.
“Yes of course Miss Hooper, this way,” she was about to thank the hostess when she looked up, and suddenly wished she’d put on a nicer dress. Not that she was improperly dressed, but it was just an plain black sheath dress, one that allowed her to move freely while she worked.
Looking around the restaurant, Molly couldn’t help but stare.
“Where um…where is everyone?” she asked.
“The restaurant is yours for the evening,” the host pulled aside the curtain to the outer patio. There was a single table, candles and paper lanterns decorated the patio. Wine was being chilled and a bouquet of heady peonies and roses decorated the table. “Enjoy.”
Molly couldn’t speak, still staring at the grand gesture that was spread before her. This was not a friendly dinner to say ‘thank-you’, and she felt quite foolish suddenly, for not having seen Sherlock’s attempted advances before. It all made sense! His spending time in the lab even if he had no cases or experiments, his assistance on her caseloads, the mysterious bouquet of flowers that showed up twice a month…
Sherlock appeared, muttering to himself as he wrestled with a champagne bottle, clearly trying to get the cork out. He was dressed quite nicely in an rich aubergine button-down, and one of his nicer suites (though to be fair, all of his suits were nice).
“Oh…” Molly finally spoke.
The cork finally popped out with a terrific ‘crack!’, just as he realized she was standing there. He cursed under his breath as the champagne foamed over, he grabbed the cloth from the handle of the bucket, wrapping it around the neck.
She couldn’t move, or else she’d have helped him. Rooted to her spot, she again took in the beautiful sight. A lovely reserved restaurant for two, candles and flowers and champagne…and Sherlock, trying his hardest to appear blasé about half a bottle of wine foaming over his hand.
“Molly,” he tried.
“You meant me…” she finally managed, and he met her gaze.
He quirked a smile, nodding. “Yes. All this time I’ve been making rather a poor show of trying to tell you but-“
“No, I’m just dense sometimes, you were lovely, and I’m sorry if I misunderstood,” she shook her head quickly. “I just…I never expected,” she gestured to their surroundings, then to herself. “I never expected anyone to do this for me and I’m…” she blushed, smiling at her feet for a moment. “I’m overwhelmed, if I’m quite honest,” she laughed, nervous, but she dared a step forward.
“So…you’ll stay?” he too, moved nearer.
Shy again, she nodded, pushing her hair behind her ears. “I’m sorry I’m not properly dressed,” she gestured to herself. “If I’d have known I-I’ve got a really beautiful dress at home, it’s dark green and velvet and not just an old work sheath.”
“You look lovely,” he said, quite honestly, and held her chair for her. “I’m just glad you came.”
“I’ll always come when you need me to, Sherlock,” Molly replied. “If I seem surprised it’s because…I guess I never expected someone like you to want someone like me.”
He looked at her as if she had two heads. “I find that hard to believe, considering your brilliance, your fascinating line of work, to say nothing of your physical features,” the waiter stood by the doorway, and Sherlock noticed. “I could go on,” he said. “But there is the waiter with the menu, but I would like to discuss what our future would be, should we continue this relationship on a more intimate level.”
“I’d like that,” she nodded, flushing, eyes shining at him.
AHHHHHH my Taejin heart! I remember reading it somewhere but I wasn't sure if it was a 100% true! On the anniversary conference I remembered Taehyung explaining that whenever he was cleaning out his room, he gave the things he didn't want to the other members and then I remember him mentioning that he left something for Jin this morning on his bed but I had no idea it was also referring to that! OHMYGOSH I want a picture of a sleeping Taejin in Jin's bed!
Yep it’s 1000% true, Taejin sleep together!
So here is a second master post on this fascinating theme.
I was doing some research and Jin said like tons of times that Taehyung sleeps on his bed every night.
Here is a vintage one, Jin said V slept on his bed since the early days (first dorm era)! He said V always picked the bed next to his in order to come to Jin’s bed during his sleep… and my heart just cannot with the mental picture of little V crawling into Jinnie’s bed at night using his slumber as an excuse to sleep with his crush!
Notice that Jin used the word ALWAYS, and now in 2017, years later he still says that V “lives” in his bed. So I think there is no doubt Jin and V want us to know they still sleep together. And now there is no ‘beds next to each other’ excuse since Jin has his own cute pink room with a comfy double bed!
On Hello Counselor, just now in 2017 Jin also said Tae keeps invading his tiny bed to sleep! LoL the way he ‘scolded’ him was too cute cause if he really wanted Taehyung to stop sleeping with him, he’d probably would have done something years ago.
Now the Taejin national tv rant is just humorous Jin making sure everyone understands he and V are two adult men that sleep together.
And the way Jin said his bed is tiny and it gets uncomfortable for two men to share it just gives me war flashbacks of all Taejin hugs and Jin on top of V on that tiny couch in Japan…
Jin also said this…
And here is the Japanese interview of Jin saying he should hit V in the bootie for coming to his bed every night…naughty!
War flashbacks again…
And here is my two cents, it’s fine, everybody in the band is really close and they are all bros and soulmates and everybody love each other. But ya know Taejin is just something else entirely. You can say they are just joking but really? For years an years saying they sleep together?
Why would two adult men sleep on the same bed for years? Why would Tae go to Jin’s bedroom everynight for years? Why choose Jin to sleep with? If he is closer to Jimin and JK, if those are the V ships the band pushes publicly why is Jin the one he keeps doing 'romantic’ things with? And I’m sorry but the mother and son bond the fandom applies to Taejin just don’t do justice to the affection both Jin and Tae are trying so hard to openly display.
Everybody in the band is super close but somehow Taejin is the only pair in the band saying they sleep together. One can say perhaps their friendship is too strong and its natural for two adult men to be brotherly close to each other enough to sleep in the same bed for years so it is open to one’s personal interpretation.
But for me everything they have been doing (V’s jealousy, how they behave, couple clothes, holding hands when they don’t see cameras, sleeping together, answering the same things, secret dates alone, how V sees no one else when Jin is around, the way they look at each other and even how the band behaves around them…) imply they are together and don’t really care to hide it.
A cute one of the many many Taejin moments on 2017 Japan Fan Meeting…
And oh yes, please we need to see them on Jin’s tiny bed…'sleeping’ or not!
omygoshomygoshomygosh!! I love the senator Anakin and slave obi verse. I want so much love from this fic, and not necessarily romantic, just take care of you and enjoy your new status and discover what freedom means kind of love. I don't know, Padme is going to spoil him rotten/love him too when she sees the slavery first hand again XD (and was that a hint of jedi/padawan training we saw there?!) Thanks!! P.S. Hope your vacation was wonderful!
He hasn’t been hiding Obi-Wan away at all. The former slave sits in
his office, on the couch with the mobile computer or naps on it if
he’s tired, obvious to anyone who peeks in.
He’s brought Obi-Wan to clothes shops and to restaurant along with
Padme and Bail, introducing the copper haired man to the latter.
Anakin has also been in contact with the media, given his interview
on what happened and about Obi-Wan, how Obi-Wan has prior records and
that they are only waiting for copies to be sent to Anakin so they
can go along with the petition.
It still takes an amazing long time before the Jedi temple is
But when it does, the response surprises even Anakin.
Because its not just information sent his way, its the Grandmaster of
the Jedi order himself that shows up in his office.
Obi-Wan, dressed in his soft tunic and leggings, look up from the
computer in surprise, looking to the doorway before he slowly puts
the computer away, gnawing on his bottom lip.
“Obi-Wan?” Anakin paused in his work, a new legislation he was
going to propose for the Senate to crack down on the slavery in the
“We…We’re about to have guests.” The former slave offered
quietly, a bit nervously but then again, Obi-Wan was often nervous.
Though lately a wry and dry sort of sassy wit had been making its
appearance when Obi-Wan felt safe and comfortable.
“Gue-” His comm rang and Anakin glanced at the other before
“Grandmaster Yoda and a few Jedi are here to see you Senator
‘…Oh…OH!’ Anakin stood quickly. “Please let them in.”
He moved to Obi-Wan who quietly slid behind him, half hiding.
“Hey, its alright Obi-Wan. I’m sure they aren’t here to do
anything towards you. They are Jedi, peacekeepers.” Anakin turned while he assured
softly, holding the other by his upper arms and rubbing slowly.
“I know, I know…I just…” Obi-Wan looked down, biting his lips
hard as the blond stared down at his hair.
“You’re ashamed.” It wasn’t a question as much as a
statement. Sometimes Anakin just knew what others were thinking or
feeling and he tugged the other in under his chin, hugging him. “Hey,
you have nothing to be ashamed of. Nothing, you survived a difficult
situation and now you’re here, ready to try again in the world.”
He murmured softly.
He felt Obi-Wan tremble a bit before the copper haired man nodded. “I
just… Master Yoda used to teach me sir. He knew me. But the me he
knew…the boy…the Obi-Wan he knew…doesn’t exists anymore.”
Obi-Wan took a step back, breathing shakily. “I just…I’m not
who they remember. And I don’t know what they want.”
Anakin would have answered but at that moment the door swished open
and the Grandmaster of the order stood there with Mace Windu and
Obi-Wan firmly kept his eyes on his shoes even as Anakin’s hands
fell of his upper arms.
“Gentlemen, welcome, we didn’t expect Jedi visitors.” Anakin
stepped forward even as the three made their way into his office.
Obi-Wan shifted to remain behind him and Anakin could almost imagine
the way he was picking at his own sleeve.
“Unusual the situation was. Surprising…and welcome.” The little
green troll offered before moving around the blond to meet Obi-Wan’s
green eyes. “Good to see you it is Obi-Wan.” He lifted a three
fingered hand up towards him.
The copper haired man froze before slowly and hesitantly kneeling
down, letting the Jedi touch his face. Gentle fingers touched his
cheek. “Master.” He offered quietly as the other petted his
“Grown you have Obi-Wan. Relieved to see you alive. Only apologies
I have.” The others face fell as he stroked the others bearded
“Apologies?” Obi-Wan meet the others eyes properly, surprise in
“Alone you should not have been sent. Many changes after you
disappeared happened. No youngling alone anymore goes.” Yoda
shifted his cane and pointed at the tall man Obi-Wan only vaguely
remembered. “Master of the Initiates master Jinn is now, escorts
Initiates to corps or home he now does. Takes care of them and
listens to them. Good for him taking care of preteens has been.”
The long haired master bowed a bit, eyes almost hungerly taking in
the copper haired man features. There was no malice in it though,
Obi-Wan knew that. No, there was a sense of guilt, of relief of
seeing Obi-Wan alive and mostly well.
Obi-Wan blinked and looked back to Yoda. “That…sounds good.
Initiates won’t be so scared then.” He whispered quietly.
“I don’t mean to be…breaking up the moment.” Anakin finally
offered, recognizing Obi-Wan’s nervousness and the start of his
unease. “But the documents I requested, Obi-Wan’s prior records?”
“I have them.” Master Windu handed an information chip to the
Senator. “All copies you will need, records that will need to be
updated to current. Everything.” Anakin accepted the chip and
quickly moved to the desk, slotting it in.
“Yes…Yes this is going to go a long way.” He murmured, eyes
taking in the information. “I can clip this to the papers…and get
them sent in…and the medical folder can be updated…” He
muttered to himself. Obi-Wan blinked and stood, once again walking on
the pad of his feet and on his toes as he moved to the desk, a slight
twirl allow him to turn enough to look.
Behind him, the Jedi’s had all noticed the abbreviation in walking
style and its implication. Behind him Yoda had closed his eyes
tightly at its implication before letting go of his emotions at the
view of Obi-Wan still alive. He could still live.
“Visit the temple you can.” He instead offered and Obi-Wan looked
to him, startled.
“Friends you still have in the temple. If willing you are.”
“I…I don’t know…I’m not…” The copper haired man looked
away. “…I’m not the one they remember.”
“But enough to see you alive perhaps would be. Rekindled old
friendship perhaps. Or just to visit an old man for tea.” The green troll
smiled gently at him. Obi-Wan hesitated before smiling slightly in
return. “Perhaps…I can do that.”