for anon who requested alex with lars

A trans Lars playlist I decided to make on anon request dealing with depression and mental illness, gender dysphoria, complicated relationships and feelings of being unwanted / alone / useless.

Dedicated to Taylor my best friend @blessedthrice who helped me make it, Lily @pearlyoudork​, Laeli @firesongs​, Ronnie @brunchclubs​ & Alex my boyfriend @larsbarrigaofficial​ of course! 

╰☆╮———– ╰☆╮ ———– ╰☆╮ ———– ╰☆╮ ———– ╰☆╮ 

But it’s alright
and I’m okay
I won’t need your help, anyway 

I’m just a no good ruffian
never done anything right kind of kid

and I know that I’ll never be a tough guy
and I know I can’t handle anything 
without losing my mind 

Cause I hate the ocean, theme parks and airplanes,
talking with strangers, waiting in line..
I’m through with these pills that make me sit still.
“are you feeling fine?”
yes, I feel just fine.

I got some things to do, but I don’t want to do ‘em
I got some things to say, I will never say 'em to your face
 

I don’t know if my mom loves me anymore
she says that I am changing
I am not what she bargained for

All his friends are hanging out doing stuff without him now
no girlfriend, he’s alone
feeling sad, feeling down 

And I’ll ruin my body if I want to
don’t tell me how to dress; I didn’t ask you
and I’ll be a cute boy if I want to

how’d you love my body when i’m so afraid of it
finding my self worth was never worth it 

I didn’t know I was broken 'til I wanted to change
I wanna get better, better, better, better,
I wanna get better 

I’ve been going through the records
we’re not getting any better
maybe I’m just getting bitter
I don’t really care, whatever

You gotta see the artistry
In tearing the place apart with me baby
 

It’s hard for me to see exactly
where the hell I went wrong
I never thought I’d see the day
where we wouldn’t get along 

Squirm away, stupid leech boy
go and die now in the drain
you speak only of your sadness
but are yet to feel true pain

When I am sad, I am sad
but when I’m happy, oh god I’m happy
there’s just no place in-between for us to meet 

╰☆╮———– ╰☆╮ ———– ╰☆╮ ———– ╰☆╮ ———– ╰☆╮

2

I was working in LA when I got the phone call from his producer, and I just said ‘yes’. I didn’t know what it was about, but my dad’s worked with Lars for many years, I think they’ve done five or six projects together and he loves working with Lars. And I’m a huge fan, I like watching his stuff and I think he’s a brilliant filmmaker. That’s the only time I’ve ever said 'yes’ without reading the script, actually. It was just like, I don’t care what he wants me to do, if I have an opportunity to work with Lars von Trier I’m not gonna say 'no’.”