for alina!

Grishaverse Characters as High School Teachers

Kuwei: Chemistry

“I’m 87% sure this won’t blow up so I don’t think you need goggles for this lab”


Nikolai: That overzealous AP World History teacher that talks really fast and has trouble being a neutral party in global matters because he has Opinions™

“Okay so lemme just put it out there that Christopher Columbus was an actual DICK and he was NOT A GOOD NAVIGATOR BECAUSE AS AN EXPERIENCED SAILOR I CAN TELL YOU-”


Alina: English

Complete nerd. Geeks out over Brit Lit (I feel like she’d bust a fucking nut over Beowulf like no joke) and is super hyper even during first Period.


Genya: Fashion

“Fuck lesson plans just make something snazzy”


Matthias: AP Calculus

*Actual responsible and well-thought-out teaching methods*


Zoya: Earth Science

“Let’s learn about some motherfucking rocks and some motherfucking weather, BITCHES”


Kaz: Would hold some sort of administrative position like Principal or Vice Principal

*Actually doesn’t give a fuck when kids do bad things. Only really gets mad when there’s bullying and discrimination involved, but otherwise with phones, cheating, and stealing, he really doesn’t care*


Inej: Foreign language teacher

*Glances around* “Okay, kids, today’s lesson is on how to curse the fuck out of people you hate without them knowing-”


Mal: Gym Teacher that doubles as a football coach

Constant “when I was your age” lectures. “Idgaf if you have a doctor’s note yOU ARE DOING LAPS”


Jesper: Way out of line guidance counselor that is always flirting with the band teacher in the teacher’s lounge

“Hey, baby, are you a C Major scale? Because you look all natural to me.”

“Do you even know what a C Major scale is?”

“Tbh no.”


Wylan: Band teacher

“I speciFICALLY SAID YOU HAVE TO MIND,,, THE CRESCENDO,,, IN MEASURE 35,,,,”


Nina: Health

“You see, kids, when you’re a stupid bitch and smoke you get throat cancer” *proceeds to flip through a slide show showing very gruesome pictures of said throat cancer. Permanently scars her students for life.*


Bonus:

The Darkling: Creepy guy who sells drugs in the school parking lot