Trying to find authentic places to eat in central Frankfurt is futile, because just like any modern international city, it’s filled with every cuisine you could throw a pointy stick at. As I wandered the streets this evening I found Lebanese, Malaysian, Vietnamese, Japanese, Chinese, Italian, and countless other restaurants - and strangely no German ones (well… unless you count the river-side restaurant I’ve passed several times while here, which seems to be the exclusive domain of stock brokers).
After an hour wandering around the city centre this evening I gave up, and was contemplating a late night visit to the supermarket - a common habit while working away from home - when I turned a corner, and spied something.
A sports bar.
A large, noisy, popular, Australian sports bar.
After crossing several road junctions, I finally arrived at the front door, and was met immediately by a pretty brown haired girl in the bar uniform of black jeans and t-shirt. She grinned and volleyed a “G'Day!” at me.
She didn’t ask me what I might like - but then I didn’t not follow her to somewhere to sit either.
“Are you here for the big game this evening?”
I looked blank. She grinned.
“Bayern Munich are playing Dortmond - kick off is at 8. Would you like to order some food before the bar fills with people?”
And that’s how I managed to order the best meal I’ve had while in Germany so far - an Australian/Tex/Mex plate stacked with a humungous chilli burger, fat fries, and home-made coleslaw. Half way through eating I realised I should have ordered another beer. I contemplated sticking around in the bar for the Bayern game, but it got louder, and busier, and louder, and busier - you get the picture.
While eating, I amused myself with watching those around me. A group of friends had met up to watch the game alongside me - each with one of the colossal beers I hadn’t dare order. I was kind of envious of them - if I drank three litres of beer I would have to be carried back to the hotel in a wheelbarrow.
Perhaps the best memory of the night was a family meeting up in the middle of the bar early in the evening. A guy and his girlfriend arrived first, and moved table twice before settling down - then perhaps twenty minutes later two older people arrived - her parents at a guess, and the happiness, hugs, and toothy grins shared between them all made me smile too. I couldn’t help it. Thankfully they didn’t look up at me - who knows what they would have thought of the half-drunk guy in the red jumper grinning at them with chilli sauce all over his face and fingers.
I’m back in the hotel now. I watched the beginning of the Bayern/Dortmond game, but switched off at half-time, because if I hear the crowd shout “Bayern FC” one more time, I might possibly put my foot through the television set. I suppose it’s no different than the band that follows the England team around though, playing the same three or four bars of music on an endlessly repetitious loop.
Bayern were winning at half time - not that you would guess from the manager’s stony-faced expression. He looked like somebody had just let their dog pee on his shoes - even as they scored to take the lead.
Now if you’ll excuse me, I have some orange juice to drink in order to avoid a colossal hangover tomorrow. I have to pretend to be clever for one more day, and have one more evening to walk the streets of Frankfurt before heading home on Friday morning. As much as this is all fun, I’m kind of looking forward to going home now.
I JUST FOUND A LIST OF SOME OF THE BEST FACTS ABOUT AUSTRALIA SO CHECK THIS OUT
1. Australia is as wide as the distance between London to Moscow. 2. The biggest property in Australia is bigger than Belgium. 3. More than 85% of Australians live within 50km of the coast. 4. In 1880, Melbourne was the richest city in the world. 5. Gina Rinehart, Australia’s richest woman, earns $1 million every half hour, or $598 every second. 6. In 1892, a group of 200 Australians unhappy with the government tried to start an offshoot colony in Paraguay to be called ‘New Australia’. 7. The first photos from the 1969 moon landing were beamed to the rest of the world from Honeysuckle Tracking Station, near Canberra. 8. Australia was the second country in the world to allow women to vote (New Zealand was first). 9. Each week, 70 tourists overstay their visas. 10. In 1856, stonemasons took action to ensure a standard of 8-hour working days, which then became recognised worldwide. 11. Former Prime Minister Bob Hawke set a world record for sculling 2.5 pints of beer in 11 seconds. Hawke later suggested that this was the reason for his great political success. 12. The world’s oldest fossil, which is about 3.4 billion years old, was found in Australia. 13. Australia is very sparsely populated: The UK has 248.25 persons per square kilometre, while Australia has only 2.66 persons per square kilometre. 14. Australia’s first police force was made up of the most well-behaved convicts. 15. Australia has the highest electricity prices in the world. 16. There were over one million feral camels in outback Australia, until the government launched the $19m Feral Camel Management Program, which aims to keep the pest problem under control. 17. Saudi Arabia imports camels from Australia (mostly for meat production). 18. Qantas once powered an interstate flight with cooking oil. 19. Per capita, Australians spend more money on gambling than any other nation. 20. In 1832, 300 female convicts mooned the governor of Tasmania. It was said that in a “rare moment of collusion with the Convict women, the ladies in the Governor’s party could not control their laughter.” 21. Australia is home to the longest fence in the world. It is 5,614 km long, and was originally built to keep dingoes away from fertile land. 22. Australia was one of the founding members of the United Nations. 23. Melbourne is considered the sporting capital of the world, as it has more top level sport available for its citizens than anywhere else. Narrabri, NSW is Australia’s sportiest town. 24. Before the arrival of humans, Australia was home to megafauna: three metre tall kangaroos, seven metre long goannas, horse-sized ducks, and a marsupial lion the size of a leopard. It is theorised that it was also covered in rainforest before humans applied a burning style of hunting. 25. Kangaroos and emus cannot walk backward, one of the reasons that they’re on the Australian coat of arms. 26. Speaking of, Australia is one of the only countries where we eat the animals on our coat of arms. 27. If you visited one new beach in Australia every day, it would take over 27 years to see them all. 28. Melbourne has the world’s largest Greek population outside of Athens. 29. The Great Barrier Reef is the planet’s largest living structure. 30. And it has it’s own postbox! 31. The male platypus has strong enough venom to kill a small dog. 32. And when the platypus was first sent to England, it was believed the Australians had played a joke by sewing the bill of a duck onto a rat. 33. Before 1902, it was illegal to swim at the beach during the day. 34. A retired cavalry officer, Francis De Grootstole the show when the Sydney Harbour Bridge officially opened. Just as the Premier was about to cut the ribbon, De Groot charged forward on his horse and cut it himself, with his sword. The ribbon had to be retied, and De Groot was carted off to a mental hospital. He was later charged for the cost of one ribbon. 35. Australia has 3.3x more sheep than people. 36. Prime Minister Harold Holt went for a swim at Cheviot Beach, and was never seen again. 37. Australia’s national anthem was 'God Save The King/Queen’ until 1984. 38. Wombat poop is cube shaped! This helps it mark its territory. 39. European settlers in Australia drank more alcohol per capita than any other society in history. 40. The Australian Alps receive more snowfall than Switzerland. 41. A kangaroo is only one centimetre long when it is born. 42. Sir John Robertson, a five-time premier of NSW in the 1800s, began every morning with half a pint of rum. He said: “None of the men who in this country have left footprints behind them have been cold water men.” 43. The Box jellyfish has killed more people in Australia than stonefish, sharks and crocodiles combined. 44. Tasmania has the cleanest air in the world. 45. The average Aussie drinks 96 litres of beer per year. 46. 63% of Australians are overweight. 47. Australia is ranked second on the Human Development Index (based on life expectancy, income and education). 48. In 2005, security guards at Canberra’s Parliament House were banned from calling people 'mate’. It lasted one day. 49. In Australia, it is illegal to walk on the right-hand side of a footpath. 50. Australia is the only continent in the world without an active volcano. 51. Aussie Rules footy was originally designed to help cricketers to keep fit in the off-season. 52. The name 'Kylie’ came from an Aboriginal hunting stick, similar to the boomerang. 53. 91% of the country is covered by native vegetation. 54. The largest-ever victory in an international football match was when Australia beat American Samoa 31-0 in 2001. 55. There are 60 designated wine regions in Australia. 56. Melbourne has been ranked the world’s most liveable city for the past three years. 57. If all the sails of the Opera House roof were combined, they would create a perfect sphere. The architect was inspired while eating an orange. 58. Australia is home to 20% of the world’s poker machines. 59. Half of these are found in New South Wales. 60. Moomba, Australia’s largest free festival, held in Melbourne, means 'up your bum’ in many Aboriginal languages. 61. No native Australian animals have hooves. 62. The performance by the Sydney Symphony Orchestra at the 2000 Olympics opening ceremony was actually a prerecording- of the Melbourne Symphony Orchestra. 63. The wine cask (goon sack) is an Australian invention 64. So is the selfie. 65. Durack, Australia’s biggest electorate, is larger in size than Mongolia. 66. The world’s first compulsory seat belt law was put into place in Victoria in 1970. 67. Each year, Brisbane hosts the world championships of cockroach racing. 68. In 1932, the Australian military waged war on the emu population of Western Australia. Embarrassingly, they lost. 69. Canberra was created in 1908 as a compromise when Sydney and Melbourne both wanted to be the capital city. 70. A gay bar in Melbourne won the right to ban women from the premises, because they made the men uncomfortable. 71. In 1992, an Australian gambling syndicatebought almost all the number combinations in a Virginia lottery, and won. They turned a $5m purchase into a $27m win. 72. Eucalyptus oil is highly flammable, meaning gum trees may explode if ignited, or in bushfires. 73. In 1975, Australia had a government shutdown, which ended with the Queen firing everyone and the government starting again. 74. A bearded Australian was removed from a darts match in the UK, after the audience started chanting 'Jesus!’ at him, distracting the players. 75. There have been instances of wallabiesgetting high after breaking into opium crops, then running around and making what look like crop circles. 76. An Australian man once tried to sell New Zealand on eBay. 77. In 1940, two aircraft collided in midair, in NSW. Instead of crashing, the two planes became stuck together and made a safe landing. 78. The male lyrebird, which is native to Australia, can mimic the calls of over 20 other birds. If that’s not impressive enough, he can also perfectly imitate the sound of a camera, chainsaw and car alarm. 79. Some shopping centres and restaurants play classical music in their car park to deter teenagers from loitering at night. 80. Despite sharing the same verbal language, Australian, British and American sign languageare all completely different languages. 81. In 1979, debris from NASA’s space station 'Skylab’ crashed in Esperance, WA. The town then fined NASA $400 for littering. 82. There have been no deaths in Australia from a spider bite since 1979. 83. There currently a chlamydia outbreak among koala species, which has led to a 15% drop in koala populations. 84. In NSW, there is a coal fire beneath the ground which has been burning for 5,500 years. 85. An Australian election TV debate was rescheduled so it didn’t conflict with the finale of reality cooking show Masterchef. 86. Chinese explorers travelled to Australia long before Europeans arrived. As early as the 1400s, sailors and fisherman came to Australia for sea-cucumbers and to trade with Indigenous peoples. 87. The first European to visit Australia was Dutch explorer Willem Janszoon, in 1606. More Dutch explorers visited the country over the next hundred years, plotting maps and naming it 'New Holland’. 88. Captain James Cook first landed on Australia’s east coast in 1770. In 1788, the British returned with eleven ships to establish a penal colony. Within days of The First Fleet’s arrival and the raising of the British flag, two French ships arrived, just too late to claim Australia for France.