barry: chaalupa what the fuck is this…. umbrella wand you made……..
chaalupa: barry listen, this is gonna be the next big fucking thing.
chaalupa: it eats wizards. sucks up them boys like spaghetti noodles
chaalupa: absorbs them boys like a sponge soakin up water my dude
chaalupa: my crowning achievement
barry: please don’t talk to me about this ever again
taako: gourmet dishes. knows everything there is to know about everything and makes it look good. spice maven. ten time winner of fantasy chopped. he goes to fix up a snack and returns with these tasty little bites of heaven. you are blessed if you taste his food and he will not let you forget it. he eats a lot of fast food himself, though.
magnus: can feed himself! nothing elaborate and mostly traditional dishes that he learned from steven and julia. stews, casseroles, chocolate chip cookies… he can also barbecue pretty competently! hearty food. comfort food. not the healthiest, but he’s been trying to learn healthier stuff lately so he can stay at tip-top shape!
It’s absolutely awful but honestly, this is the exchange in TAZ that I’ve laughed the hardest at thus far:
Gaia Sash: “Nature Cleric? I shoulda come to you first! C’mon, man, put me on. With my help, there’s no vine you’ll ever be able to not fuck. I’ll give you sexual conquest over anything… what, you wanna fuck an onion??”
Merle: “I don’t need your help, pal! I can fuck any onion I want! Bermuda?? Red?? Onion Rings?? They’re mine.”