food origins

anonymous asked:

Has everybody in Betwixt eaten at George Salami's Meat Emporium? It seems like the kind of place I would only visit if I wanted to get food poisoning.

The Original isn’t all that bad. 

Wow, delicious. 

i saw a can of pumpkin spice cinnamon rolls at the store and it had a thing on the side like “make monkey bread” and i was like FUCK YEAH imma get this and throw it in a bundt pan and have easy as hell monkey bread BUT THEN i looked up the fucking instructions on the website and it’s like “3 cans of cinnamon rolls and a bag of caramels and some walnuts and butter and etc etc” and i am like BITCH i did not buy a can of fucking cinnamon rolls because i wanted to cook. this is some sandra lee levels of overcomplicating shit. i don’t need this. you think i’m going out and buying two more cans of actually-just-biscuits-with-delusions-of-grandeur for this? because i am. i bought a fucking bundt pan, i’ve committed. i don’t give a fuck about the sunk cost fallacy. i don’t care if there’s nothing stopping me from just making some fucking limited edition fall cinnamon rolls. this absurd monkey bread train has left the station. this is happening goddammit.

2

My older child and their friends have stumbled upon something momentous.

Upon further discussion with my kid:

Alton Brown - Bard

Geoffrey Zakarian - Healer (Hello Kitty band-aids for all)

Guy Fieri - some troll that you encounter engaged in a nefarious activity, but once you get him to stop he joins your party and he’s kind of annoying but mostly okay and very useful.

Alex Guarnaschelli needs to be involved in this somehow.

Further ideas, anyone?

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avocado macarons!