food oddity

Imagine aliens reacting to human eating habits.

For instance, taste. Like, one day an alien notices the human crew member dumping something bright orange on their midday ration.

Alien: Does your supplement not have the right nutrients/?
Human: No, it just tastes bad.
Alien: ????
Human: Well, not precisely bad, but bland. It’s boring. So I thought I’d spice it up a bit. *waves bottle of bright orange substance*
Alien: You add items to your food that provide no necessary sustenance???
Human: Oh, just wait ‘til you hear about junk food.

‘Cause humans eat stuff that is not good just for the sensation. Like really spicy foods, chewing gum, and all these spices. And the aliens don’t get it. You put that in your body? Doesn’t that mess up your digestive system? What purpose does it serve?

Or human eating rituals. If you eat with one group of humans there are all of these utensils, some of which look extremely similar, but each with it’s own unique purpose. And if you don’t use the right one at the right time it’s a social faux pas. Then another group mostly uses their hands and lick their fingers. Does this not introduce pathogens? And you’ll see the same human doing both behaviors.

And there’s the whole concept of a meal as a social endeavor. Humans will have a meal with those they are close with as a sign of affection. Humans don’t even spend the entire meal eating, no they use it to talk. Business is done, friends catch up, families share news. All over a meal.

Aliens considering food a necessity not to be discussed in public. Yet here are these humans, who post pictures of their food to social media, share recipes, use food as a social catalyst, and as comfort. Hell, comfort food as a completely human idea that aliens don’t understand.

Anyway, humans are weird.

jumping on the “humans are space orcs” bandwagon, I’m just imagining what our food must look like to an outsider

like imagine trying to explain that we eat spoiled food. like, sometimes it grows bacteria on accident and we dislike it, but sometimes we deliberately expose it to bacteria so the exact same reaction can happen but for some reason this time we’re okay with it and call it stuff like “wine” and “cheese” and “yogurt”

we eat capsaicin, a natural pesticide and fungicide. and we think adverse reactions to it are so funny that we make videos that are just people eating extremely hot things.

we eat halite, a literal fucking rock, with such frequency that a dish is not considered properly seasoned without it.

turducken exists

So culture is fluid and changing, so why can’t we see humans adapting to alien culture? We already emmulate others, if not blend it to our traditions, so there should be a mix of alien/human traditions. Humans dress in the style of alien dress because it looks good. Humans adopting alien slang or creative new slang based on alien words. Or learning alien games and try to teach it to other humans. Or learning about alien food, then blend it with human cooking styles (Lomo saltado is Peruvian food cooked Chinese style so it happens) or just really studying alien culture and teaching it to people at home. Not for any academic reason, but because they are super interested. Like when you want to travel to your dream place you study every little bit about, or those culture clubs in schools. Aliens could be flattered, or confused, because Humans who can adapt to any place chose to adapt to their planet.

Another Humans are Wierd thing

We literally get together to chew.
We consider it socially beneficial to participate in chewing together. It has been a frequent topic of scientific investigation and is suggested that it not only help us form bonds but can increase our intellectual success? In fact, we like getting together and chewing so much we consider it an important, romantic, and high form of friendship and courting? Like going out on a date is taking someone to go chew some nice food with you.
Why is this so important to us? Why is it socially acceptable, and beneficial even, to sit together in groups, large or small, and chew?
Would other species consider it rude, disgusting even, to eat, chew, or take in necessary living substances in whichever way they do, in the company of others?

Alien: ugh, how can your species suffer the immense noises you make?
Human: we don’t really think about it, it’s more of like a ‘communal chewing’ thing which nobody really cares about
Alien: but isn’t it…rude?
Human: What? No, only if you do it with your mouth open.
Alien: but…you must open your mouth to eat, mustn’t you?
Human: Well, yeah, but-
Alien: Then is not eating in front of others rude?
Human: No, no! We’re encouraged to do it!
Alien: but you just said-
Human: I know, but it’s a popular form of social activity! People are more likely to come along to things if there’s food. You know, it’s the only way I could ever convince my friend to come out with me hahah
Alien:…

Also if like, for one species it’s actually similar to torture to be forced to consume things in front of or with others, so they make their humans a huge feast and they all have to eat it together, assuming they would be horrified, but then…
*dead silence*
EveryONE IN THE ROOM TEARS INTO THE FOOD WITH RECKLESS ABANDON. THE ALIENS LOOK ON WITH HORROR.

It gets worse when a food fight ensues.

Pets

I’ve seen post were we talk about having cat and dogs as pets but we haven’t talked about the ‘useless’ pets, like fish and turtles. Considering that we even eat them, would aliens believe that we are stockpiling food? And if so, would the aliens try to eat the fish and turtles because that what they think they are there for?

Humans and food

What if in space there were these machines that could create food from nutrients and minerals that are stored in it and aliens would simple be flabbergasted at the foods that the humans eat.

Couj could not believe what these human could come up with to eat. HumanLizzy seemed to like a cooked dairy product between two slices of cooked grain mesh while humanMack seemed to enjoy what could only be described as a not fully cooked slice of meat from a mammal. Humans need to eat cooked food if it came from an animal, it was in the guide to keep a human. He better warn him.

Couj: humanMack don’t eat the meat you will feel unwell.

Mack: Why I thought that the machine makes food without the bacteria in it.

Couj: your meat is raw. Human will feel ill if they eat their meat raw.

Mack: oh! Only with certain meats Couj. True some humans prefer their meat fully cooked but some meats can be safely eaten raw like beef. This is a rare steak for example. You should have learned by now that humans can easily digest most things with a little preparation. I shouldn’t even tell you about the people who eat pufferfish

Couj: Pufferfish! Isn’t that animal highly poisonous!

Mack: that’s why we have special chefs to prepare it. Even though sometimes people still die. It’s a delicacy though.

Couj:…

anonymous asked:

how would the fae react to sour candy. like if you're supposed to carry around candy and other things as impromptu gifts, is there that one kid who LOVES sour skittles and carries that around and is very nearly killed because fae dont like the Pain Salt

Pain Salt Deserves A Warning

2

Thomas Jefferson and the Giant Cheese,

In the summer of 1801, Elder John Leland of the Baptist church at Cheshire, Massachusetts convinced his congregation to make a giant cheese in honor of the current president, Thomas Jefferson.  It must have been an odd experience, a pastor at the pulpit preaching that an abnormally large roll of cheese should be made for the president in honor of his republicanism and defense of religious liberty.  But the people of Cheshire dutifully made the cheese, utilizing the milk of 900 cows and forming it with a 6 foot diameter cider press.  When finished, the cheese measured 4’ 4.5’’ in diameter and was 1’ 3’’ thick, weighing in at 1,230 pounds.  In November the cheese was shipped 500 miles to Washington, first down the Hudson River, then down the Atlantic coast to Baltimore, then by wagon to Washington.  

The giant cheese was presented to Jefferson on New Year’s Day, 1802, and was engraved with the motto, “Rebellion to tyrants is obedience to God”.  Since Jefferson had a policy of not receiving gifts while in office, he paid $200 for the massive cheese.  Critics in the Federalist party criticized Jefferson for the large cheese, with one writer describing it as a “mammoth” cheese, the first time in history the word mammoth was ever used as an adjective.  

Over the next three years it was served and slowly consumed at various White House dinners and official conventions.  It was last served at a presidential reception in 1805, afterwards the remainder was dumped in the Potomac River, as the cheese had gone bad.

To add to the whole human’s are weird/space orcs/ect… Human’s are weird in the sense that we make food full of color. Like what if Aliens come to Earth and human’s are the only species to have food that has more that one color to it.


Curtyua did not understand the logic behind why human Kevin’s food had more that one color. Did the number of colors equal to the number of nutrients in the meal? After having watched human Kevin add many different colors to his meal Curtyua decided that she should ask.

Curtyua: How does adding color increase the number of nutrients in your meal.

Human Kevin: What?

Curtyua: *points to the red bell peppers, green onions, and other colorful veggies* How do these colors increase your nutritional intake.

Human Kevin: Oh. They are just to make the meal more visually appealing. I mean, yeah they do add some increase not on a big one.

Curtyua: If they do not have a substantial increase to you why do you add them. Beside for what you call visually appealing.

Human Kevin: Aesthetic.

Originally posted by visitgreece-gr

How to make a good impression on your new coworkers

I’m at my new job the other night and we have these insert pages with our seasonal specials and each menu gets one. Of course these things never stay in the menus, they end up in piles next to the menus or behind chairs or in the space in between the counters.

ANYWAY, they are always getting lost apparently.

So I was working a double, open to close, and it was late in the evening and my mind was made of jello by that point and I get GOOFY as fuck when I’m tired like that. And we had a lull so I’m trying to clean up a bit, including organizing these inserts. And I’m verbally narrating what I’m doing because I do that sometimes and these are the words that came out of my mouth:

“Gotta put the inserts in here. Gotta find the inserts. Where are the inserts? They are like little lost lambs. Where did you go, lost little lambs? Where are your mothers!?”

Cue my coworkers overhearing me and looking at me like I’m from another planet.

I’m doing good at making work friends. Good job, me.

Please Reblog This If:

You have a blog with any of the following themes/posts:

-witchcraft
-tarot
-wicca
-nature
-astrology
-420
-marijuana
-lgbt
-pagan
-Greek Gods and Goddesses
-animals
-punk rock
-goth
-crystals
-awesome and interesting art stuff
-oddities
-crafts
-metaphysical shops (online shops as well)
-etsy shop
-food (ie recipes and such)

I will follow blogs with any of these themes and posts.

Thanks!!!

-T.LH-

2

History’s First Fad Diet — The Dr. Salisbury’s Healthy Steak 

During the 1990’s and early 2,000’s, the Atkins Diet was all the rage, a diet which emphasized the consumption of meat and a limiting of carbohydrates.  While such a diet may seem like a modern invention, in truth the low carb diet has its origins in the 19th century.  One of the early supporters of a low carb diet was a physician and chemist named Dr. James Henry Salisbury.  Dr. Salisbury’s philosophy of healthy eating was that people should consume as much meat in their diet as possible, not only limiting carbohydrates, but all fresh fruits and vegetables. According to Salisbury, digestion of fruits and vegetables produced toxic substances which could cause heart disease, cancer, tuberculosis, and mental illness. While low carb diets might make sense today in moderation, Dr. Salisbury’s approach was extreme to say the least.

Dr. Salisbury first tested his theories during the American Civil War, where he served as an army physician.  During the Civil War it was not uncommon for soldiers to become ill and drop dead, what with the quality of healthcare and field medicine at the time.  In fact, during the Civil War, far more soldiers were killed by disease rather than combat.  One pervasive problem among the Union Army was chronic diarrhea.  Dr. Salisbury theorized that such problems were a result of army rations chalk with carbohydrates.  To treat the problem, Dr. Salisbury created a special patty made from chopped up meat, which he called, “muscle pulp of beef”.  Dr. Salisbury recommended that Union soldiers eat nothing but “muscle pulp of beef”, and indeed the diet did work.  However, one would imagine the trials and tribulation of those poor Union soldiers as their diarrhea transformed into constipation.  In addition, it would be fair to say that they suffered other ailments, such as scurvy and other diseases caused by vitamin deficiencies.

In 1888, Dr. Salisbury published a health book called The Relation of Alimentation and Disease.  In the book, Salisbury extolled the virtues of a meat heavy diet, recommending that fruit and vegetable make up less than 1/3rd of the diet, while the rest should consist of his “muscle pulp of beef”, mutton, and coffee. His diet became a hit when an Englishwoman named Elma Stuart took up the diet, publishing her result in a book where she praised Dr. Salisbury’s ideas.  To further popularize the diet, Stuart renamed the dish, “muscle pulp of beef” to the more appetizing sounding, “Salisbury Steak”.  With a new name and high praise, Dr. Salisbury’s diet took the late 19th century by storm, becoming the first fad diet in history.  For the next two decades, the Salisbury Diet was the most popular weight loss and health regimens for the wealthy and upper middle class.

Today Salisbury Steak is a common item among institutional cafeterias and TV dinners, although its original purpose has been mostly forgotten.

anonymous asked:

“i accidentally flooded the laundry room and you really needed to do laundry” hicstrid college/modern au (i wonder who would be the culprit?)

Stormfly immediately began screeching at the sight of a guest in the apartment. “Stranger danger! Stranger danger!”

“Hush!” Astrid hissed at the bird, dropping her basket of sopping clothes on the kitchen floor before crossing through to the living room. To the neighbor following apprehensively, she cringed and said, “Sorry. She’s our alarm system.”

“S’okay,” the guy— Hiccup— replied, lifting a brow at Stormfly’s cage. He stood on the kitchen tile, holding his dripping sneakers in his hand. Now that they weren’t in the dim hallway light, she could see that one of his feet was a prosthesis. “That makes her at least 75% more useful than my cat.”

“But about three times louder,” she muttered. Beckoning him forward, she hurried towards Ruff’s closed door. “My roommate’s room is this way. Her twin is kind of homeless. He house hops. So she’s got a box of his stuff in here somewhere.”

“Thanks,” Hiccup nodded, setting down his wet shoes before he followed her into Ruffnut’s space. He was tall, taller than her by a head, but slender enough that she didn’t feel intimidated by his presence. And he had a quirky, friendly personality that made her feel okay being alone in her apartment with him. This was the first time she’d spoken to him since he moved in a week ago, and half of their conversation was apologies. “I’ll wash em and bring em back. Y’know. After they reopen the laundry room.”

Astrid winced. “Again. Very sorry.” She had to step over clothes and food wrappers and other oddities to reach her roommate’s closet. “That machine doesn’t lock that well, but it’s my lucky number. I’ve used it since we moved in.”

“Four?”

“Yeah. It’s my jersey number, apartment number, the last four digits of my cell…” After unearthing Tuffnut’s half-crushed box of things, she dug until she found a pair of pants and a shirt that wasn’t stained or ripped. “Here. He’s a little bit shorter than you, but not that much wider in the hips.”

Not that she was noticing his narrow hipbones peaking out from above the waistband of his sweatpants.

Hiccup accepted the clothes with a mocking salute. She directed him towards the bathroom and then kicked Tuff’s box back into the dark depths of his sister’s closet. Hopefully the jeans would fit— she felt awful about him not being able to wash his clothes for whatever appointment it was he had to attend.

Her answer came a moment later. Hiccup stepped out of the bathroom in Tuffnut’s pants— a couple of inches short— tugging his own shirt back over his pale stomach. She caught a glimpse of a bronze happy trail before his tee slipped back into place.

“Does he also keep his weed in that box?” Her new neighbor exclaimed, holding the shirt out towards her. “I’m pretty sure I got the munchies just from trying this on.”

Astrid took it and brought it to her nose, instantly flinching. “Oh. Gods. Yeah, definitely Tuff’s. Sorry.”

“Ah, that’s alright,” Hiccup sighed easily, rubbing the back of his neck. His crooked grin was comforting and a little gap-toothed. “I’ll just cycle shirts until the rest of my stuff arrives. I’ve always wanted to know what being a hobo smells like.”

“Tuff, you bum!” Stormfly screamed.

Another wave of guilt squeezed her chest. “No, wait.”

Astrid dropped the t-shirt on the couch and crossed the apartment. Her room wasn’t in its best state, what with her piles of laundry sorted on the floor. But it was spotless compared to Ruff’s. After some searching, she found what she was looking for and brought it back out.

“Here,” she told him, holding out the shirt. “It’s from a 5k I did last year— they always give out shirts that swallow me.” Folding her arms in front of her chest, she watched him unfold and inspect the green cotton. “It’s got the logo on the back, but the front is blank. If you wear a jacket, no one should notice.”

“Huh,” he answered, a note of pleased surprise in his voice. He dragged off his own shirt, and she got another flash of his chest and stomach. When he pulled her shirt over his head, she realized that the color matched his suddenly very green eyes. “Hey, it fits!”

“Perfect!”

She ended up cuffing the jeans for him before he left. Something like nervous excitement jolted in her fingers as she brushed his legs, both prosthetic and real. Luckily the extra bagginess and the cuff made the misfitting pants look like intentional style. After apologizing profusely and giving him the other six digits of her phone number— just in case— she was able to see him out and then strip out of her own wet pajama pants.

Later that night, Ruffnut dangled a Gobber’s Garage t-shirt in front of her face and demanded to know what male had been in their apartment. She snatched the shirt without a proper answer and held it to her chest defensively. It smelled like men’s deodorant, leather, and a faint body odor.

“Astrid has the hiccups!” Stormfly flapped in her cage. “Astrid has the hiccups!”

Stranger danger indeed.

I think the world would be a better place if instead of doing the whole period thing, girls eggs just came out and cooked themselves for breakfast. That way the girl can have a nice surprise breakfast every month instead of cramps. Like maybe one month it’s scrambled eggs, the next is poached, and maybe the next is sunny side up. I just think that’d be a nice little treat for them.