’… that Ax doesn’t get because he doesn’t have a TV out in the woods’ BUahaahahahaha
I spared you all the sidebar with my questions about this in the recap because I’m just going to assume that when I get to an Ax book, I will find out more about his current situation. But I am definitely wondering. Did they bring him camping gear? Did he build a treehouse? Does he have a way to stay warm and dry? Can he eat Earth-plants or are the kids bringing him food? Does even need to eat, technically? What does he do with his spare time? I have many, many questions.
Two chefs are given what the average person visiting a food shelf for a family of four might be given. They must make five delicious meals from it, with a little help from the /very/ limited (Flour, salt, black pepper, red pepper, garlic powder, sugar, baking soda), pantry, within the thirty minute time limit.
Chefs who don’t normally cook kosher are given a quick lesson in what is kosher. They are then given a basket of theme ingredients, or maybe an Iron Chef style single ingredient, and they must make a delicious meal from it while following the rules of kosher within the thirty minute time limit.
The chef is given a judging panel of four people with dietary restrictions, either due to allergies, or religious or moral reasons. They must make a meal that the whole panel can eat and enjoy in the thirty minute time limit.
Michelin star rated chefs are pitted against each other, having to cook dishes, 3-7 year old children and their parents, both enjoy. So the parents can’t influence the kids to try stuff, the panels are served separately.
Anthony Bourdain, and Gordon Ramsay. Sesame Street. Basically, Gordon Ramsay and Anthony Bourdain compete against each other for a panel of judges in a format similar to Iron Chef. The secret ingredient is some kind of vegetable or other food kids don’t eat. The Sesame Street muppets, probably either Abby Cadabby, Big Bird, Elmo, or Cookie Monster, play the role of the floor reporters, Kermit, Bert, and Ernie are the commentators. The panel of judges, a group of young children, decide the winner. Whomever wins gets $10,000 to donate to a children’s related charity of their choice.
edit #2 15/12/2015: the context for this post is that in 2014, while my atheist ass was chilling with my Catholic family, i started thinking about how Christmas, despite being marketed as a non-religious holiday and celebrated in the western world by people of all religions these days, still contains elements that are clearly Christian - the word “Christ” literally being in the name, nativity scenes in Santa parades, songs about the birth of Christ - and wondering if that created any dissonance for non-Christians. i made a flippant post about it which got zero notes.
fast-forward to december 2015, i’ve grudgingly slid into agnosticism over the past year, i find this post in my xmas tag and reblog it, intending to start a conversation with any mutuals online. a few Christian-raised mutuals get the joke and reblog it without commentary. it starts to gather notes and a few people are angry at what they think is a lack of sensitivity towards the fact that Christmas is shoved down everyone’s throats, so i make the first edit (at the end of the post), not realising the original is circulating fast. three days later it has 20k notes and i’m drowning.
this post wasn’t an angry one, it wasn’t mocking or attacking non-Christians. i’m fully aware of Christianity’s frequently violent and hateful history, and the pagan roots of the holiday. i was raised entirely aware of the large gap in what the Catholic Church preaches and what the Catholic Church does, and i have, actually, questioned its teachings for most of my life, identifying as an atheist since i was eight. i haven’t been brainwashed or lied to and i don’t think everyone should have to listen to my “made-up book” (thanks, militant atheist tumblr). i know Santa isn’t in the Bible, thanks for that shocking revelation.
to everyone who took the post in the spirit in which it was intended: thank you for your stories about how you celebrate Christmas, they’re really sweet. i am genuinely happy that Christmas is a holiday celebrated by a wide variety of people for a wide variety of reasons. i’m going to publish the stories i already have, but i can’t guarantee i’ll publish anymore (though this post seems to be slowing down, thank God).
this is the last thing i ever want to say about this, so if i get any more hate about it i’ll just link to this post. merry Christmas everyone, and a happy New Year.
what’s christmas even like in non-christian families? in completely non-religious families? like what do you tell your children? “well, kids, we’re eating a whole lot of food and spending a fuckton of money spoiling you because some other people somewhere believe their holy lord and saviour and the greatest person to walk the earth was born 2000 years ago. here’s a playstation.”
edit: all sarcasm in this post was directed at the commercialisation of this day, which i am fully aware is due to the actions of the race who forced this religion on nearly the whole world in this first place. it wasn’t directed at non-christians and i would genuinely like to know how non-christians who celebrate christmas explain the holiday to their children, if anyone would like to share.
Hit Korean boy band BTS is ready to take over Anaheim
Rap Monster, one of the seven guys in the South Korean boy
band BTS, says it was only at the end of 2016 that he and the others
realized how huge their band had become around the world.
“Somebody in the company sent me a message: ‘You got No. 26
on Billboard OMG congratulations,’” says Mr. Monster, the 22-year-old
rapper born Kim Nam-joon, by phone from Chicago where BTS was set to
play on Thursday before hitting Honda Center for a pair of sold-out
shows on Saturday and Sunday.
“At first I thought, 'Ha ha, your humor isn’t really very
good,’” says Rap Monster, the leader of the group and its primary
songwriter. “We didn’t believe it.”
But as more messages started to ping onto their phones he
says the BTS boys realized it was no joke: Their sophomore album,
“Wings,” entered the Billboard 200 chart at No. 26 after its October
release, making it the highest chart position for any K-pop act – not
to mention one that sings primarily in Korean – and offering a bit of
foreshadowing for Billboard naming the record the best K-pop album of
Since then things have only gotten sunnier for Rap Monster,
Jin, Suga, J-Hope, Jimin, V and Jungkook. In February, “Wings” was
re-released in a new edition as “You’ll Never Walk Alone,” and the
combined editions have since sold nearly 1.5 million copies worldwide.
Music videos for “Spring Day” and “Not Today” were released a week apart
last month as well and exploded on YouTube where they’ve currently
racked up 59.2 million and 60.1 million views respectively.
“When we heard that and really got that, I was saying, 'OK,
this is going to be a whole other world,’” Rap Monster says of the
significance of the Billboard chart success and all that followed. “And I
feel like we should do something more, and dream something more.”
This past week they’ve taken a step toward something more,
playing their first headlining and sold-out arena dates in the United
States, after previously having mostly played on multi-artist billings
at KCON conventions held here.
“So many people just to see BTS was really an honor,” Rap
Monster says of the opening pair of shows at the Prudential Center in
Newark, N.J. “It feels dreamy these days.”
Not, mind you, that it’s been anything like an overnight success or an easy road for him and the other BTS members.
He grew up a top student in his school who loved American
rappers such as Eminem and Nas, performing even as he attended high
school and eventually catching the attention of BTS future manager Bang
Si-hyuk at BigHit Entertainment in South Korea. And though he says he
gave up on music when he was 16, lacking confidence in where he was
headed, he says Bang encouraged him to stay strong, believe in himself,
and sign on as the first to join BTS, even though at the time he wasn’t
sure who or what it would end up incorporating.
“I was not aware of the other members,” Rap Monster says.
“But I like the company and I respect them. And he promised to me, 'I
will make you do your music and get big someday, so please believe me.’
"So I believed him.”
The other six members soon were selected, each of them
bringing different talents on the mic or on stage. Songs were developed
by Rap Monster and the other members, with a team of producers working
to craft the best music from the raw material, the melodies and beats,
that they created.
“Our chemistry is different from other groups,” Rap Monster
says. “Everyone has their own points and characteristics. If I’m a bad
dancer, a good dancer teaches me. If I’m a good songwriter, I help the
others with a good melody.”
We ask the obvious question: Are you a bad dancer?
He laughs and answers: “Yes, I’m a bad dancer.”
Their music is different from a lot of K-pop acts that have
made ripples on the American airwaves. They’re not popular because of
the novelty aspect of their songs – think “Gangnam Style” by Psy from a
few years back. And they’re not quite as bubblegum as a group such as
Girls Generation or as eclectic as the synthpop of f(x), the first
Korean band to play the South By Southwest festival.
Instead, BTS often aims for that sweet spot where R&B
and rap get together, the kind of stuff Justin Bieber might be doing if
he sang in Korean and there were six Bieber variations with fashionable
hair and eclectic yet unified fashion choices.
“BTS music sounds like it’s from America,” Rap Monster says.
“We decide to always watch the trends and watch what’s going on over
the world. America’s the No. 1 market in the world so that’s why people
in America prefer us.”
As for communicating through the language divide, Rap
Monster says that’s partly handled by the group’s wildly enthusiastic
social media following: “Fans translate our lyrics and interviews,” he
says of a following that has landed them at the top of Billboard’s
Social 50 list for a total of 17 weeks since “Wings” dropped in October.
“They’re able to say, 'OK, BTS is talking about us and our lives.’”
And it’s partly addressed through lyrical subjects that
express the common hopes and dreams and fears and worries of any
teenager or young adult in any country.
“Our lyrics are mostly Korean but we always talk about the
young people’s lives and their minds,” Rap Monster says. “There’s
something similar between every young person in the world, in America or
in Korea. We share something together even if we use different
languages or live so far.”
American fans are also the savviest music lovers in the
world, Rap Monster says, which made heading out on this brief headlining
tour a little bit intimidating at first.
“We actually were scared of performing in America as a solo
act,” he says. “Their playlists are the best in the world. I was really
nervous for them.
"But after we were on stage our fear disappeared. They’re
like everybody, they’re like friends. Singing along all of the lyrics
even through the raps. They know how to play, the rhythms and the
An aside here to share our favorite piece of Rap Monster
trivia. You might be wondering whether he spoke through a translator. He
did not. His excellent English skills were polished in the classroom
but also at home through what he refers to as “a Korean mothers
“'Friends’ was really famous for the mothers in Korea for
English education,” Rap Monster says of the hit American sitcom from the
'90s. “It was kind of like a syndrome. Korean mothers make their kids
watch 'Friends’ even when they were eating food or playing.
"I think it really helped. It has like 10 seasons, I think,
and I watched it like more than five times through the 10 seasons. They
use the gestures and expressions, like, Americans use, right? I think
that naturally teaches me how to speak or how to make a gesture when you
try to express some emotions.
"Thank you, 'Friends,’” he says, laughing. “God bless 'Friends’!”
Rap Monster recently collaborated with the American rapper
Wale on the song “Change,” which like some of BTS’ other songs – and
unlike most K-pop – touches on politics and societal issues. He says
he’d loved Wale’s music for a few years when the opportunity to do the
song came along last year “like a miracle, like a dream come true.
"The song has already come out and we shot a music video
together, but still sometimes I lie in my bed and think, 'Did I really
do something with him?’” Rap Monster says.
He knows that boy groups from Backstreet Boys and 'N Sync to
the Jonas Brothers and One Direction tend to have a finite lifespan
before members get restless to move on solo projects, acting gigs and
other opportunities. But he thinks the variety of interests and musical
genres that individual BTS members have can be handled on the side or
even within the group, and BTS itself can carry on.
So while Rap Monster says he’d love to collaborate with
Drake or Miguel one day, Suga feels the same way about Kanye West and
Flume. Jungkook seems more inclined toward pop R&B – his dream
musical partners would include Bieber or Charlie Puth. V is a little bit
old school, having mentioned Norah Jones and the Fugees as on his wish
list. Rap Monster ticks off the rest of the band: Jimin digs Chris
Brown, J-Hope is into the similarly initialed J. Cole, and Jin is a fan
of old-school showman Bruno Mars.
“I always tell them that every time we have hits under the
name of BTS we shine the best when we are a team,” Rap Monster says. “I
know all the seven members, they love music, and I know their No. 1 wish
is for us to perform and make music and sing and dance.
"Maybe someday someone will want to be on a television show
or be an actor,” he says. “I just hope they know all of the popularity
and fame and money is from the name of our team. That’s not one person,
everybody contributes to the team.
"Nobody knows the future. I just hope it can last as long as possible.”
[Make sure the food you prepare is healthy, but tasty. Keep in mind what your little likes and what they dislike.
Let it cool down before you feed them so they don’t burn their mouths.
Let them try to eat on their self’s but always pay attention, otherwise they will make a mess put of your place :D]
So there I was faffing about with my apple (as you do) and thought “hey this would be a good thing to do for people looking after bored kiddies this summer”
Apple “doughnuts” aren’t a new thing but never the less they would be such an easy way to pass time and encourage food interaction with the youngins’
Just core and slice a few apples and stick what ever decorations you want them to use and boom a fun interactive (sort of healthy) dessert
The words “I’m pregnant” are something he takes a looooot of time to proceed with. He never even though about being a parent. Damn, he literally forgot that you may get pregnant if you have sex!
So you’re pregnant. You’re gonna give a birth. To a child. Your child. His child. He’s gonna have a child. Which means. Which means? Means he’s gonna be- … FUCK HE’S GONNA BE A FATH- *faints*
He’s in shock. He doesn’t know what to say. His thoughts are racing, like, is it real? Is he gonna be a father? He’s going to be a PARENT. An actual parent. He’ll have to take care of a child. Of a human being. A little, weak human being. He’ll need to protect it. He already has to. He had to protect you before, and now… Now a little child? Will he manage to do that? What if he hurts it? By accident? Or on purpose…? What is he turns out to be like his mother? He doesn’t want to be like this, he’s scared. This child doesn’t deserve this damn excuse of a father-
“Saeran. It’ll be okay. You’ll do well. You’re a strong and good person. I believe in you.”
Well that’s great because even he doesn’t believe in himself at this point
Your words give him a lot of motivation. He trusts you. He still panics, but he wants to do his best. If you say he’ll manage, then there’s no way it’ll be different.
During your pregnacy, he’s clearly overprotective. He doesn’t really know how to take care of you, so he just does what he can. He’ll never let you carry heavy things, you won’t even have to go out of the bed. Secretly, he’ll search into all the articles about how he should behave. He’ll try to awkwardly ask Jaehee about it, but no one else. He’ll never listen to his brother nor any other man in the group. If there’s anyone he feels okay with asking for advice, it’s Jaehee.
He decides to actually find a job, which is a bit awkward at first. He wants to be as independ as he can and he really thinks that living on your own - like, without Saeyoung around - is a good idea. He wants to start over, find his own way. Make his family safe, because for the first time in his life he actually feels like he has a place he belongs in. He wants to work to make it better.
He has a thing for hand-made furniture. He really wants to make a bed for his child and Saeyoung - who secretly watched his search history all along - offers his help. However, they’re both bad at it. But they try. And they learn quickly. So after long time of struggling, they manage to make the damn bed. It looks weird and creaks every time you touch it, but it’s filled with their love~
When the time comes, he’s the most nervous being you’d imagine. You literally have to calm him down or he’ll either break something or hurt himself. He tries to be as supportive as possible, but it’s just too much for him. Eventually, Saeyoung has to take him out of the room because he’s yelling at the nurses and it’s clearly not good for you. He’s literally more scared/nervous/emotional than you. Don’t blame him, he’s never gone through this before (?)
This little thing… It’s crying, it’s loud… It’s vulnerable… and it caused a lot of pain to you…. He cannot help but stare at the child, just not believing that it’s… it’s actually his child.
He’s hyper. Secretly still scared, but happy. Is with you 24/7, literally crushing you two with affection. And he cannot help but compare this little being to the both of you. The hair, the eyes… everything is so similar. How is it even possible? This little human is like a mix of the both of you. It’s as if you two were one person he kinda freaks out at the thought
Saeran doesn’t really know how to take care of a little human, but his common sense tells him to keep it away from Saeyoung. Saeyoung is not happy because he wants to play with his nephew/niece. Everyone recalls the photo of Saeyoung “playing” with another little being (Elly). Vanderwood tases Saeyoung and ties him to a chair. Everyone sighs with relief.
But seriously, Saeran has no idea what to do. But he listens to everything you say, not being afraid of asking someone else for help as well. His pride means nothing when it comes to you two. He’s careful like the kid is literally made of glass. He quickly remembers what to do and when, but his skills aren’t great to be honest. Putting clothes on the little human is probably the worst. Vanderwood turns out to be quite useful these times.
The kid is probably a bit afraid of him, which makes him panic. Literally, when the child will start to cry, Saeran starts to cry too. Congratulations. You have two panicking kids now. The little one is probably easier to calm down though -_-
Every time Saeran does something wrong, he thinks of it for a few days or even longer, filled with regrets even if it was something trivial. He really wants to be a good father, but something inside his head keeps telling him that he’ll be just like his mother. He cannot forgive himself being vulnerable in moments like this. Every time you have to do something because he can’t, he’s already tearing up.
So many sleepless nights. Even when it’s your turn to take care of the child or if you let someone else take it for a while, he’s never been so stressed in his whole life. He’s scared of telling you how much it pressures him so he ends up crying alone, as far from everyone as possible. He knows how much you’re going through too so he doesn’t want to add any more troubles. But it’s more than obvious that he’s just not okay at these moments and you’ll, sooner or later, make him talk to you about it.
And he really needed this talk. You had to reassure him a lot until he finally calmed down, and you both ended up crying. But in the end, he understood that it’s okay to make mistakes and that you’re here to help him out just like he’s always been here to help you when you needed this.
He still does his best. Still makes a lot of mistakes. Just like you do. But you’re never alone and that’s what makes it just simple. It’s still not easy, but you know it’ll be okay.
At some point though, he knows everything better than you. He’s surprisingly good at those weird recipes. He knows how to make the kid actually eat its food. He’s patient and quite stubborn, but that’s clearly what your child needs. As soon as he feels more confident in what to do, he makes you rest more since you get tired faster than he does. He can go on for a week without a coffee. But please, make him stop. It’s not healthy.
As the child grows up, it’s more attached to Saeran than you. They’re so similar to be honest! Two quiet beings not letting go of each other even for a second. They’ll take naps together, and the day when the Little Version™ is introduced to ice cream will be probably the happiest moment of your lives.
Saeran loves to go to various places with thte kid: zoo, aquarium, theatres… He’s never experienced it as a child and even though he wants to give everything he can to his kid, he’ll secretly enjoy it just as if he was the baby here. Please, let him try the cotton candy, whatever it is, it looks like clouds and it’s sweet. He wants it. O-oh, yeah, buy one for the kid too.
He feels weird when he has to leave the kid in a school. When the time comes, they’re both just as nervous. Though even if the little one gets over it fairly quickly, you spend the whole day reassuring Saeran that no nothing will eat it there’s no monsters in the school and no the teachers aren’t a part of some cult dammit honey-
You actually start to wonder because you’re pretty sure some of your old teachers praised Satan, but that’s a completely different story
He’s this kind of parent who will try to not be nosy, but the way he glances at his kid until they spare him some information about what’s up is more than obvious. He’ll try not to ask too many questions, but he won’t feel at ease until he actually hears from them.
Incredibly sensitive to any mood changes. Will try to convince the kid to talk to him, but never force them. Wants them to know it’s okay to ask for help, because he himself also needed this lesson a while ago.
Wants the kid to be independent, but cannot refuse if they ask him for help, even if it’s something trivial. If the child is in danger/need/anything, he’ll literally drop everything and run to the rescue.
He knows how to cook. Go aside, MC, you’re gonna ruin his ravioli. In this house we eat only homemade food. No chips, no soda, it’s unhealthy don’t be like Saeyoung please. Ice cream? Ice cream is very healthy, fuck off.
No, uncle Saeyoung won’t visit us today. Please don’t say this name ever again. Stay away from him. It’s so-called bad influence.
No, we’re not gonna get a pup- *the kid shows him a very cute puppy and makes a face even cuter than the puppy’s* …Ooo… kaay… Leeeet… *still not convinced* …it be a puuuuppy…
Can’t get over the growing up process. W-wait what do you mean you… you date?! You cannot date! You’re too young for dating!
“Dad, I’m 18.”
It’s been so little just a while ago… why is it… why is it moving out now?! Why?! It’s been here always! What is he gonna do now?! Why is it leaving?!