I’ve watched PLENTY of videos, read TONS of articles, and visited a BUNCH of blogs. I’ve compiled some tips that have helped me on my journey; I hope they help you as well.
-Use chop sticks (when & if you can). The idea behind this is tip that eating with chop sticks makes you eat slower. The slower you eat, the more time your body has to begin the digestion process AND it becomes easier for you to tell if you’re full or not. When you’re scarfing down your 4 plates - even if they aren’t high in fat & are your healthy foods, you’re just eating on a probably already full stomach. *another way to eat slower that doesn’t involve chop sticks is to eat snacks with your non-dominant hand.
- Lemon & cucumber water. This one really doesn’t need much explanation - so many fitness bloggers and youtubers have sworn on this cleanse. Living at college it can be difficult, but my school does have fruit infused water sometimes which is great. If you’re living at school and your dining halls don’t offer infused water, here’s a tip - the lemons are most likely by the tea & the cucumbers are at the salad bar; it’s all about searching. Also, drink ice water as soon as you wake up and wait 5-10 minutes before eating; it boosts your metabolism.
- Smaller plates & bowls –> BLUE. Now this tip is all about our dear friend, Portion Control.If you decrease the size of your plate/the surface you’re eating off of, your body will be like “hey, that’s a whole plate of food, when the plate is empty, I’ll be full.” I included “BLUE” in this tip because it’s scientifically proven that the color blue suppresses appetite, making you eat less. Whereas red has the opposite effect - it makes you hungrier. (Why do you think McDonald’s, Wendy’s, Burger King, & Chik-fil-a all have red in their logo?)
- Wear your gym clothes & sneakers around the house. This one sounds weird but when I’m wearing my workout clothes & sneakers, I tend to be less lazy and more productive. It’s sounds insane, I know, but it works! Try it for a few days - you’ll probably spend less time in front of the TV and more time on your feet. Whether you’re cleaning around the house, going for a walk, or doing meal prep, anything is better than being plopped in front of the TV with a bag of chips.
- Green tea before bed. I’ve been doing this for the last 2weeks and it’s great. Green tea is proven to boost your metabolism, calm your nerves, and it prevents to flu and cold by 60%. I recommend drinking your hot tea about an hour - two hours before you go to bed. Also, try to stop eating food 3-4hrs before bed.
- Eat healthiest part of meal first. This goes without much explanation but let’s say you’ve just finished a great High Intensity Interval Training (HIIT) workout and you’ve gotten lunch. On your plate, you have your protein, a salad, & a small serving of carbs. The first thing you’re going to want to eat is not going to be the carbs - no matter how good that pasta looks. This is because if you eat your healthy portion first and happen to get full before finishing your entire meal, you’ve avoided the unhealthy portion. If you ate the unhealthy portion first and got full, you just missed out on the protein and nutrients your body needs after a HIIT workout. Also, when eating salads, try to get your dressings and sauces on the side.
If you’re interested in more tips I’ve found helpful, feel free to message me!
I was looking forward to writing this for you because I love seeing young, black people do things to better their overall health (so we can be fine and sexy forever and slay into eternity, Amen). ALSO, ‘CAUSE, YOU’RE FAM FOR LIFE!!!
Why people detox:
When we enjoy delicious ass shit from our affordable fast food restaurants, we are destroying our body. Most of the time, the food we eat has been fried, dyed, processed, “enriched,” packaged, repackaged, and distributed, so by the time it gets to us it’s not really even food, though it tastes fucking amazing. It really messes with our internal health and perspective, clouding our judgment and fucking up our life. The healthier you eat and drink in general, the more clarity you have.
To combat the nasties, your body needs mini-cleanses every now and then so your digestive system can properly eliminate the bad, allowing for the absorption of good vitamins and nutrients we actually need. This strengthens your immune system and cleanses the blood. It also helps to block certain negative creepy crawlies that try to infect our cells.
The body eliminates toxins via the kidneys, intestines, lungs, skin, and lymph nodes, but most of the time it’s using all of its energy to break down everything we eat. Therefore, the toxins just float around and wreck havoc because the body ain’t got time to kick them out.
Buckle, up! Here we go!
Food + drinks:
1. Lots of liquids- this flushes out all the bad stuff. It’s good that you already drink lots of water, but we need to kick that up a notch with herbs that will help cleanse your liver and colon, bettering your overall digestive health. I, of course, being a ratchet hippie, recommend tea.
a) infuse water overnight (slices of cucumber or lemon in a bottle). See tumblr for the chart of when is best to drink water for the most benefits + recipes at bottom.
b) green tea or herbal tea, start off with green +honey then work your way up
c) juice! -fresh, not-from-concentrate, not- bullshit into thinking it’s healthy
You don’t even need a juicer, honestly. pour some water in a blender and spinach in there. BOOM. juice.
2. Fresh fruits and veggies (it’s cheaper to do this in smoothie-form). Big bags of spinach, bananas, and whatever fruit you blended up in a cheap blender (I got my from Wal-Mart for $15 and found another one at Goodwill for 3).
3. Fiber: This will help your body get rid of the toxins easier. I recommend eating at least one of the following ever day: brown rice, sprouted bread (NOTHING “enriched,” that just means bleached to look pretty -__-), cabbage, broccoli, spirulina, chlorella, etc. Fruits and veggies have an ass of fiber, so if you’re already eating those, you’re good.*
*If you don’t want to do the actual work, I recommend Bolthouse farms green juices. They taste good, have no preservatives, and are like 2.35 for 8 servings at Aldi. If y'all don’t have Aldi, I’ll get you some. Also, a lot of people mix these with water to stretch them, but also to make sure your body isn’t overwhelmed.
4. Take some type of vitamin. When I was drunk I ranted about “eating the rainbow,” because different colors correspond to different essential nutrients we need to survive the human experience. These colors also correspond to the 7 chakras. If you’re eating right, it balances other aspects of your life as well. Most of the time ain’t nobody got money or time for that, so buy a cheap one-a-day multivitamin so you won’t shock your body during detox.
What do the colors of fruits and veggies mean? (pic via @catasana)
Blue/purple= high antioxidant + balance bood pressure
Green= remove toxins and carcinogens, also sources of vitamin K, folic acid, omega 3 fatty acids
Yellow= Lutein (good for eyes), healthy fats, pretty skin
Red= powerful antioxidants
Orange= vitamins A +C
Tans/weird beiges–usually high fiber content
5. Healthy fats- Depending on how long you want to detox, you’ll need to reintroduce heavier foods into your diet, after mostly eating fruits, vegetables, seeds, etc., so you won’t shock your body when you eat a piece of pizza
Try: Salmon, avocados, walnuts, etc.
6. Simply substitute slowly (alliteration for that ass!) Going cold turkey will make you miserable. Instead of french fries, get sweet potato fries. Instead of ranch dressing, get Italian or something oil/vinegar based. Instead of iceberg lettuce (which is honestly trash, and I would slap the fuck out of anyone who tried to serve it to me), get romaine.
1 month detox:
First week: just drink one green smoothie/drink/tea (or eat your fill of fruit) every morning and don’t change anything else. Soon your body will start to crave whatever is in your smoothie.
You can also alternate between a green smoothie, a scrambled egg on toast w/ avocado, or BOTH. Whatever else you want that’s not like… frosted flakes you can pretty much have. You just want you body to get into a routine. Avoid heavy, delicious foods like pancakes, pasta (anything wheat-based. we’re prepping your digestive system) and no candy +sugar.
Second week: Make your breakfast AND lunch “green.” Have a big ass salad or lots of vegetables with a side of sweet potatoes or something. NO CHEESE (feta/goat cheese is okay though–easier for body to digest and less allergenic). We’re not even supposed to have dairy products, because it doesn’t agree with our systems at all, plus it’s gross (but so delicious).
I tell non-vegetarians that it’s okay to have chicken and lighter choices, but stay away from beef and dairy products. Listen to your body. Once it’s detoxing, you’ll start to crave everything you DON’T need to have. Especially sugar. Pretty much any fast food we eat is jacked up on sucrose.
The first 2-3 days you might feel super crappy because your body is ridding yourself of toxins, but once you get past that you’ll have an unusual amount of energy.
Third week: If you made it past the cravings hurdle, up the ante. Have a green juice before bed as well as in the morning. Stick with your one green meal for lunch or dinner. It is important that you eat enough, otherwise you will feel weak. Plants and herbs give you a lot of energy but you need to EAT them and drink them. We feel full after eating a burger but lethargic the next day because we just poisoned our body. We feel awesome after having a big ole salad because we basically just ate direct sun energy.
Last week: Listen to your body. The first time I did any kind of detox, I was so eager to stick to a plan, but every plan doesn’t work for everybody. Your body will tell you what it needs and by this time you’ll know what it is you’re supposed to be eating and drinking. It takes 21 days to break a habit (I don’t know if this is true, but let’s go with that).
Also, your body might not need a full month, and it might need longer than a month. You can tell how you’re doing by your energy level, whether or not you had a detox reaction (the feeling crappy, almost flu-like), and if you’re shitting regularly.
Common types of detoxes:
Some people detox for weight loss, health issues, or just want to give their bodies a break. From what I’ve experienced, here are the most popular types:
1) Strictly juicing/liquids: unfeasible for you because you’re on your feet all day or using your energy on snapchat. The longest I’ve seen someone do a juice cleanse is for 41 days, but usually they’re 3-5, just to give your body a break)
2) All green- basically, no animal products and not a lot of processed food. Plant-based/(80/20 raw/cooked) are common forms. If you eat pasta/fries/pizza, you make it yourself and know all the ingredients going into it. Be cheap and buy frozen fruits and vegetables and make stir fry. Whatever you want to learn how to make, check out organigasm’s instagram and I’ll send you the recipe. It doesn’t have to be flavorless and fucking boring to be healthy.
3) Paleo- Yes: Fruits, Vegetables, Seafood, Nuts & Seeds, Healthy Fats, Lean Meat. No: Dairy, Grains, Processed Food, Processed Sugar, Legumes, Starches, Alcohol. Honestly, I think this diet is a fad that comes up with different names every few decades. Seriously, a bunch of rich people use this to diet or have “healthy lifestyles,” but thousands upon thousands of families don’t have access to these types of foods. I digress.
1. Set your intentions when you wake up in the morning. Example: “Today, will be fan-fucking-tastic,” or you can thank the creator or thank your body for helping you out with your shenanigans. Keep it to yourself, write it down, shout it out, whatever. You need to start your day with positive thoughts to ensure you have the willpower to make it. You will crave everything you DO NOT need.
2. Work-out at least 30 minutes a day, and if you can’t do that, try 3/7 times a week. Start somewhere. Dance it out when you get out of the shower, walk down the street at a fast pace–whatever, again, just get moving.
3. For strength of body and mind, I recommend yoga, and I hope your stubborn ass considers it (it also makes for fun sex, I’m just saying).
Here’s a link to good poses for detoxing: http://bodyunburdened.com/yoga-for-detox-10-poses-that-promote-cleansing/ + youtube and netflix have free videos FOR NOOBZ!#@
4. Before you go to bed, clear all the negative energy you can. I’m not gonna get into all the stuff, but like when you woke up, write it down, draw it out, etc.
Doing this throughout the detox will allow you to clear your mind and determine what works for you during this new journey!
5. Get enough sleep–This is a tough one, but while you’re sleeping your body does the most incredible things. Seriously, you will thank yourself. Even if you only get 4 hours of sleep, getting 15 extra minutes, then gradually increasing REALLY helps.
1. eat your biggest meal at lunchtime (your metabolism is peaking from about 12pm-8pm)
2. SLEEP. Seriously. Your body is healing you. Let it help.
3. I will help you meal prep, but frozen vegetables + canned beans, packaged nuts keep the costs of detoxing low. Also, farmer’s have good ass prices. Take a fine honey on a date to the farmer’s market and cook a sexy meal afterwards.
4. Try new things. Seriously. You can’t eat a cucumber and an apple every day and expect magic to happen.
5. Don’t overcook anything. Leave that broccoli a little crunchy. Don’t kill the nutrients, bro.
6. cheat! allow yourself one day during the first two weeks to cheat on your detox, or whenever you fucking feel like. you deserve rounds… of krispy kreme donuts. TREAT. YO. SELF.
7. Don’t count calories, or carbs, or whatever the fuck the newest pyramid says to do.
Good Water Infusion Combos:
1. lemon/lime +mint + honey
2. strawberries, blueberries
3. pineapple + basil
5. mango + peaches
6. apple+ cinnamon + honey
Final thoughts: Really, once you get used to it, you’re always detoxing. Even drinking a cup of tea a day and still eating like shit is better than nothing. Just be kind to yourself. It’s a process, and I’m still learning, but I get better every day. Good luck! I’m always here to help.
can you do some Jason Damian bonding :) We need more of them together. I know Dami lives Dick but he has a lot more in common with Jason in my opinion. I think Jason is the kind of guy who will give Damian his first beer :p
“Tt Todd I have had alcohol before” Jason sighed heavily “dude, just let me have this one? I’ve always wanted to corrupt a little brother, and I got stuck with you and Tim”
“you have my condolences on Drake” Damian sipped his beer and made a face. “really domestic, did you have to go so lowbrow for this right of passage Todd”
“you’re killing me, most 17 year olds would be so pumped that their super cool big brother was letting them drink”
“tt I am not most 17 year olds, I am Nightwing, son of Batman, it takes far more than some cheap bottled beer to thrill me”
Jason rolled his eyes, “yeah usually it takes a skinny kid from Fawcett City to thrill the great and terrible Nightwing son of Batman”
Damian nearly spat out his beer, choking he said “You leave Batson out of this” Jason just laughed. “So how is sparky?”
“Batson is fine” Damian took another sip of beer. “and how are you and him?”
“also fine Todd”
“need any tips and pointers from your big bro? Bruce ever give you the birds and the bees talk? Alfred did for me, horrifying, I think I had my first kiss with a boy just to avoid thinking about it”
“I do not need any advice from you Todd, I am quite proficient”
“ooooh proficient, hot”
“tt” Damian slapped his brother’s arm and Jason laughed, leaning back so he was laying down on the hood of his car looking up at the stars. “You know this is where I became Robin?”
“yeah, Bruce caught me taking the wheels off the Batmoblie, which was real shitty back then, rather than turn me in he bought me a meal I think it was the first real food I’d had in like 3 days, and he came up here and we ate together, he and Batman” Damian looked up at the stars “There are worse ways I suppose”
“I broke into the cave, got into a fight with Drake and held a sword to Father’s neck”
“you were the worst tween” Damian laughed which caught Jason off guard, “well neither of us have ever been the modals of good behavior”
“truth” Jason lifted his beer and they clinked bottles.
You forgot about me. I was standing right beside you like I had for so long, but you forgot me. But I can’t forget you. The songs that remind me of you make me want to cry. Sometimes I think I hear your laughter when in a crowded place. I still even avoid some of the foods we used to share… It’s been about 3 years… The first year I was upset and hurt. I was really angry too. It kept cycling between both of them, some days I wanted to scream and kick and hurt you. Some days I wanted to disappear and cry and I wished I didn’t exist. The second year, it hurt my friends the most. You broke me so badly that almost every word that came from my mouth oozed with self-loathing. Luckily, one of them was patient enough to help fix me back up, at least get me back on my feet again. This is the third year. Your smile, your braces, your mispronounced words, your foolish games, your anger, your cold stares, your disappointment… All of those images and sounds still echo in my head… I know I’m long gone in your memories, but you’re still here. I just wish you weren’t.
First 3 meals from my new cookbook - Vegan for Everybody by America’s Test Kitchen. All are so good. Thai red curry with cauliflower, black bean burger with pub burger sauce and spicy pickled red onions, and cauliflower salad with chermoula. Seriously get this book, doesn’t matter if you are vegan (I’m not), this food is so good.
uweh tomorrow is our school’s annual picnic which would’ve been nice if i could stay the whole time but the master is making me leave halfway through and drive 3 towns over to teach my saturday lessons… like just this once why couldnt we have cancelled those…
Special thanks to my editor Tori, she’s great, and to every one who read my last fic, and any one who reads this
Rating: T for Teen, blood, violence, fighting
Characters: Tim Drake, Damian Wayne, Ra’s Al Ghul
Tim Drake, the Red Robin, rubbed the side of his head, ‘God, I’ve been tracking this shipment all night’.
He checked the homing beacon again. He’d slipped a tracker onto a crate of weapons in the harbor nearly five hours ago. Since then, the trucks had taken tracks all over the city to shake any tail. How he was gonna bust whoever was bringing in military grade firearms into the city, and be home in time for school in the morning, he had no idea. Finally, the dot on the map seemed to settle.
‘Warehouse district’, he thought to himself.
Tim briefly considered calling Batman and dumping this on him; some capes didn’t have day lives they needed to get up before noon for, after all. He dismissed that thought. He’d spent too long proving he didn’t need Bruce on missions to hand off something this easy because he had school in the morning.
This is the continuation of my story of Khloe @khloekink on Twitter.
Slave Khloe had its second night of edging and sleep deprivation. By morning, it was begging us for an orgasm. We were clearly starting to break it. An orgasm would again have to wait 72 hours and it was now a little over 30 hours in.
The schedule for the slave as is with most of our slaves is we “wake up” the slave at around 6am(although the first 3 days it wasn’t really sleeping. And the slave would be totally disoriented.). We would serve it breakfast(again the first 3 days it was subjected to food deprivation just water from a dog bowl).
We would give the slave about 20 minutes to drink its water(when we were serving food we would give it 30 minutes). Then we would take the slave to the treadmill. It would have to wear ballet boots. It would be gagged and blindfolded and its hands cuffed behind its back and ankles cuffed and a chain attached to both sets of cuffs. The slave would be held up by leather straps but also had a wired metal dildo and a wired butt plug were the slave would dare not rest on the straps lest an shock zaps its pussy and asshole. The treadmill would be set at 5 miles an hour for 3 hours. Too the slave, it seemed longer.
After its time on the treadmill, we would subject the slave to different types of torture. There would be breath play where we would place a plastic bag over the slave’s head. Or dunk the slave’s in a bucket of water with each time getting longer. Water boarding and my favorite, putting a noose around the slave’s neck hanging from the ceiling and making it stand on a barrel. In heels.
There would be electro torture where we would tie the slave on a metal bed frame with its pussy, asshole and nipples wired and we would see how much it could take.
Their was suspension bondage including inverted suspension. At the end of the we have the slave ride the sybian. After first giving it its pussy and ass a nice whipping, we would for the first three hours edge the slave turning the machine on and off all that time and the slave would be begging for an orgasm. Then after 3 hours, we would turn the machine on its highest power and the slave would orgasm. And orgasm again. And again and again and again. Then it is begging us to turn the machine off. The cunt is now destroyed.
We give the slave dinner(water the first 3 days, afterwards ravioli with white bread and milk. Before retiring the slave, we lock the whore in a metal bondage chair securing its wrists, ankles and neck and force it to watch on a big screen tv, the whore’s or slave’s mantra. For 3 hours. It reminds the slave of its place in life.
We usually “retire” the slave for the night at 10pm. The first three nights, the slut in bound while being edged by an electric toothbrush while restrained, gagged, blindfolded and with earbuds that play the bitch’s orientation(or disorientation) tape. After 3 nights we due let the whore sleep on a cot where we tie its wrists to the headboard as well as its legs leaving its pussy exposed. The cell we keep the slave in is also a rape room. At any time of the night, one of the guards could come in and rape any hole.
On the weekend, we invite some guests over to enjoy the slave using all three holes. Usually we have the slave tied up so theirs nothing to do to stop them.
Beginning the second week, we changed the routine a bit. After breakfast and the treadmill routine, we first subject the slave to discipline, not as harsh as the first week. Then we train it to be a possible Hucow where we attach the slave to a metal stockade and attach pumps to each nipple. Then we train to be a pony slave. It is fitted with a leather body harness, head gear with a bit gag, nipple clamps with bells on them and black leather boots with a hoof heel. We would make it take us horse riding.
After two weeks as a slave, it was broken forgetting its past life including its first name.
Something has happened to me. Something really strange. Whenever I’m “dieting”, I think about food ALL EFFING DAY. The first 3 months of keto was no exception. All day I thought about and planned what I would eat for supper and counting carbs in my head, obsessing over my weight that morning, non-stop thinking about whether I had consumed the right amount of water, it get’s really exhausting.
Well….. just in the last week or so I realize I’m not obsessing any more. Sure, I’m still eating the ketogenic way, but I’m not thinking about it all day. I do my meal plan, grocery shop, and then make food and eat it. It feels all-together NORMAL, which is something I would NEVER say to describe my thought process regarding food. I’m starting to wonder if this new way of eating is actually not only curing my body, but also curing my disordered thinking regarding food. It’s a really exciting thought!
I’m still super excited about losing more weight and continuing on this path, but I’m also getting back to living a normal life at the same time. I truly believe that I have found a new way to live.
I think we set a record tonight for number of refused sales of animals.
1. Koi going in a 55 gallon with other goldfish (plural) with no plans to upgrade.
2. People who wanted to buy a hamster, but no supplies (cage, food, etc).
3. Teenagers (first of all you have to be 18) who wanted to put 5 mice in a kritter keeper together.
4. Guy who wanted to put assortment of tropical fish in with a red eared slider. (I had already bagged the fish but pulled it out of his hand when he mentioned the turtle being in there. He was pissed.).
5. Couple who wanted to put a bearded dragon into a 10 gallon with no lighting.