(going off your recent ask about darcy and the photo (post/116720368758)) Imagine bucky being hidden somewhere as steve goes for a lap or ten around the park and suddenly being met with a face full of darcy and her saying "hiding behind a tree's a little cliche, don't you think?"
i think that people - and non-disabled people specifically - need to be more careful about how dismissive or judgemental they are about things people might do that seem “wasteful” or “buying into consumer culture” because there are lots of things that people do because they cannot “just make their own [whatever thing]” or do it a DIY way or even the cheapest way because doing so requires too much energy, too many kinds of skills (motor skills, planning skills, executive functioning in general, etc.) that someone might not have or might not have to spare on non-essential activities, etc.
it especially sucks if the person wants to be able to do the thing in a cheaper/less consumer-based/more DIY way but actually just cannot.
i think about this stuff a lot in trying to figure out some of the tensions between anti-capitalism and disability stuff. i’m against capitalism, i try to be really aware of (corporate) consumer culture, etc etc. but, i also am frequently really low on spoons, i struggle with certain kinds of “activities of daily living,” and i also have a really hard time planning and following through on most kinds of projects (which makes a lot of DIY stuff really difficult to do).
example: i am bad at flossing my teeth. part of this is because i am bad at remembering to do it - though, i am also really sensitive to the feeling of food stuck in my teeth so that is usually how i get reminded. but, even when i really want to use floss to help with the bad sensory mouth feeling, i often cannot make myself do it because - wait for it - i don’t really know how. i’ve been “taught” many times, i’ve read about it on the internet, i mostly understand how one flosses…in theory. however, in practice, i struggle to figure out how to position the floss on my fingers, i can never figure out how to floss my back teeth, sometimes i get confused about how mirrors work and struggle to get the floss between my teeth because i’m going in the wrong direction. i’ve also injured myself flossing by doing it incorrectly and cutting my gums. also, i often cannot handle the sensory aspects of sticking my fingers in my mouth and dealing with slimy-feeling floss.
but, i know that flossing is generally considered good for one’s oral hygiene. i know that flossing can help prevent future tooth problems, making it cheaper and less of a complicated thing to deal with in the long term (i say *can* versus *does* because for some people tooth problems are genetic or due to certain health conditions, etc. so stuff like flossing will not automatically mean you have no dental issues…). and, as mentioned above, i often *want* to floss as a way to help manage sensory stuff.
so, after debating about whether it was “too wasteful” as a thing, i finally just decided to buy those pre-threaded plastic floss pick things. and…i have actually been able to floss my teeth somewhat consistently since i got them. i have been rinsing them off when using them so that i can use them for more than just one or two teeth (apparently you are theoretically only supposed to use it once but that seems incredibly wasteful and also really expensive because you would go through a pack of 90 floss picks in like 3 days).
another example: i keep wanting to make popsicles, but keep failing at doing so because for some reason it’s become some kind of executive dysfunction block and even though i know the steps go something like:
1. wash popsicle tray thing
2. buy juice
3. pour juice into popsicle tray thing
4. put tray thing in freezer
i am having a hard time making that happen. i even have juice! and the popsicle tray thing (actually i have several because i really really like popsicles and i like popsicle trays because they are fun shapes and pretty colours)!
but, for some reason this summer it has so far been too hard for me to figure out how to make my own popsicles. also there’s the part where i am literally not capable of pouring juice into the popsicle tray thing or transporting the popsicle tray thing without spilling juice all over the kitchen, so “making popsicles” for me also inevitably includes cleaning several parts of my kitchen (which involves a whole other set of motor, planning, and general executive functioning skills).
so, recently when juice boxes were on sale at one of the grocery stores near my house, i bought some juice boxes and put them in the freezer. instant popsicles! cutting the top off the juice box is a little bit difficult for me and i do still make a bit of a mess, but if i can remember to do the thing over the sink, it’s a relatively mess-free endeavour.
i don’t buy juice boxes very frequently at all. i know they are “wasteful” and have lots of packaging and ultimately are almost always more expensive than buying a big thing of juice. but, they are also convenient and don’t involve pouring juice out of a container and have meant that i can make popsicles without making a giant mess, giving up on doing so because i don’t have the energy, or having to ask for help from someone (yes, i know there’s nothing wrong with asking for help and yes i want to promote ways of normalizing asking for and providing help - but also ableism exists as does internalized ableism and sometimes i feel like a fucking helpless child for needing to ask a date or a friend to help me make some goddam popsicles).
tl;dr: there are lots of reasons why disabled folks might not be able to do stuff the more “Do It Yourself” (DIY) or homemade ways, and lots of reasons why people might choose (or not even really have a choice) to buy something instead of making it (even if the thing is more expensive than making it oneself). making things and DIY things often involve a lot of time, energy, and functioning skills that disabled people may not have or may need to save to use on other things. this is important to take into consideration - especially by non-disabled people.
Since it seems that you haven’t read my previous post on the matter and chose to demand for an explanation despite the fact that it exists and has been clearly linked in the first post (and contains quite a detailed explanation as to why I believe he’s neurotypical), here you go:http://dimensionslip.tumblr.com/post/99757379397/unmasking-jade-curtiss-supplement.I’d rather not repeat myself as much as possible I have said earlier, which is the reason why I merely summarized my conclusions from that post.
Since I was advised to make this a separate post, here is my reply to dimensionslip’s rants about Jade not possibly being neurodivergent. Caution for #ableism throughout. I would advise people to simply block her.
My apologies for rehashing it with such a long post in the tag, but since DS tagged all of her posts, I’d like to make sure her opinions aren’t the only ones swarming it. This is tagged as #long post (which you could temporarily block for ease) and if you hit the J key, you can scroll past the post real fast. Thanks for reading if you’re up for it, and if not, that’s alright by me. This is just what I feel needs to be said.
I’m not the person this was intended for, however, you’ve posted it in a public space, and just as you have the right to voice your opinions, I have the right to respond with mine. I cut your post not to silence it, but for ease of reading, and since the link to your ideas is right there, it wouldn’t make much of a difference.
First off, if you want to engage with someone, starting off by assuming they haven’t read your stance (and thereby insulting their intelligence) because they disagree with you is a poor choice. You’ve already decided this isn’t a conversation, and more of a place for you to talk at someone and tell them why they’re wrong. If that wasn’t your intention, it was more than suggested in your tone. I’m aware you mentioned you’re working on your diplomacy, so if that’s the case, starting there might be a good choice.
Secondly, having an autistic friend does not qualify you to speak on their behalf and over other autistic people. If your friend wishes to convey these opinions as part of our community, I welcome it, but you have absolutely no business telling other people on the spectrum what to think about a character in regards to their neurodivergence.
But that aside, let’s start here:
“People on the spectrum lack the ability to flexibly enough predict the actions of neurotypical people in order to be successfully manipulative. I mean, you can’t exactly unleash a virus designed on a Mac onto a Linux, right? Like, if it was designed for Macs. People on the spectrum can, of course, learn to be manipulative, but it takes a long time and dedication. And if he was like that from childhood on, it’s really unlikely that that’s what it is.”
No two people with autism are the same. Our experiences are all different, and our personalties are not defined by one set of traits that neurotypicals have decided we have. Some of us are better at reading facial cues than others. Some of us have an abundance of empathy, some don’t have as much (as you discuss later on, but we’ll get there). There is no one kind of autistic person, and comparing us to computers and viruses is already an inherently ableist idea, aside from being vague and unclear. Are we more machine-like to you because of the way some of us think? Are you suggesting we aren’t “programmed” to be socially competent? The implications are numerous, and all harmful.
That argument is also flawed because autistic people can and do learn to respond to cues they might have trouble with otherwise as they grow up. Jade’s sister Nephry canonically discusses that Jade’s way of thinking was contrary to others’, and was unsettling because she couldn’t understand it – Nebilim had to help Jade learn tact and social cues from a young age, and his comments about death and the morbid in general suggest he’s always testing the boundaries of what is okay and not okay to say.
In essence, you’ve essentially proven yourself wrong by bringing that up. Autistic people often do learn this “flexibility” you’re describing, if given the chance. Saying we’re “incapable of reading neurotypicals” is condescending at best, insulting and demeaning at worst.
As for the empathy point later in your post, you’re absolutely right – less empathy is not indicative of autism. Some of us experience it, some of us don’t. But the fact that Jade may have less empathy doesn’t mean he can’t be autistic. In fact, you’ve once again proved yourself wrong – less empathy doesn’t equal autism. Empathy has nothing to do with autism. Many NT people have less empathy, and many ND people have more. If you’re trying to claim empathy isn’t relevant, you win! It’s not, despite the associations society has created surrounding it.
And now, for my favorite part:
“… to me, a neurotypical person is someone whose actions and thought patterns always make sense from an ‘average’ standpoint. To be honest, I think the differentiation is ridiculous. Because I kinda feel like ‘purely neurotypical’ doesn’t exist anyway. Everyone has divergent patterns somewhere in their brain and psyche. It’s when they become so many that it’s noticeable that people start assigning names to it. It’s like a factory of happy meal toys. They throw out the ones that are ‘flawed’. But if you put the others under a microscope, you’ll find all of them are ‘flawed’ somewhere. And that none is a perfect representation of the base design. It’s the quantity. That makes it a ‘pattern’.”
… not only do you (and your friend, presumably) think neurodivergent people don’t exist, but you compared us to Happy Meal toys. It’s one thing to suggest that we should, in an ideal world, all be respected and treated well for our differences and one day in the distant future dismantle the societal framework we use to discuss human minds, but another entirely to say “everybody is neurotypical” in the context of shutting down a discussion about autism by autistic people. We’re all the same on the inside! Who cares if you suffer massive institutionalized oppression for being the way you are? You’re not that different at all!
But dude, if I’m in a Happy Meal, I’d like to formally request being any of these:
Preferably Blastoise, so I can blow all this bullshit out of my swamp.
But facetiousness aside, all your computer virus, Happy Meal toy, and salami pizza metaphors are doing is making me cringe. You’ve made a whole bunch of other people cringe, too. They don’t make sense, and they’re baseless in relation to Jade’s character. The evidence you try to draw from further proves Jade’s neurodivergence, as it is implied in canon. Instead of “consulting a professional psychiatrist” (many of whom have screwed actual ND people over, by the way) and a single friend of yours, maybe you should consider the views of the ND community at large. You should seek out multiple perspectives, talk to many autistic people about their experiences, and most of all, stop echoing one person’s experience as the summation of all. And while you’re at it, you should stop parroting someone else’s words that do not pertain to you in any way. You have no right to tell us what it means to be autistic, and why we’re wrong for believing a character is.
And if you do take this advice, and you do pursue multiple perspectives and listen, you’ll find that many of us agree Jade isn’t neurotypical. You can’t use the one person’s story that supports your ableist ideas and expect no one else to have a valid opinion.
Anyway, as you suggested, I’m going to make good use of that block feature. I would suggest my other followers do as well. Later.
one time i was at my friend’s place (she’s my nextdoor neighbour) and we were going through the liquor cabinet and eventually i was completely wasted and she was very drunk and then my mum called and she was like “dinner! i cooked!” which was pretty much the worst news i’ve ever gotten and i had to pretend that i was sober all throughout dinner but i just didn’t manage to shut the fuck up because i was so drunk and that was one of the lowest moments of my entire life basically