green apples and cantaloupe and oranges—who likes oranges?—and watermelon on fruit kebabs

small cats and puppy paws too big for their bodies and floppy bunny ears and babies that weren’t yours

laundry soap that doesn’t smell like disinfectant and clothes that hold dirt in their creases—there comes to be such a thing as “too clean”, doesn’t anyone around here know that?

books with jam in the spine and the scent of grass on the pages

loud voices that don’t signal the doom of one person or another

boring muzak in boring elevators going up to boring business meetings

nights without pain
mornings without pain
afternoons without pain

conversations not starting with a rundown of a chart hung at the foot of the bed

sitting in a single position for longer than five minutes without back spasms

drinking to forget

dancing
running
laughing—really, truly laughing
being held
holding

whispering secrets to the ceiling in the middle of the night and having the head on the pillow beside reply with secrets of her own

even in solitude, never feeling alone, nor lonely

—  you missed your garden talks | so we talked in the garden
//q.e.l.//

my mum is using Eurovision as an excuse to go all out so tonight for dinner we have:

  • Spanish tortilla de patatas
  • French cheese platter
  • Italian cured meat selection (with tomato, mozzarella and basil skewers)
  • Swedish bread w Norwegian smoked salmon and Icelandic cod
  • Greek salad
  • British coronation chicken
  • Serbian ćevapčići
  • Austrian wiener schnitzel
  • Summer fruit pavlova (yes, I know the origins of the dessert are disputed but my mum’s siding with Australia tonight)
  • Danish butter cookies
  • Swiss chocolates
  • Belgian chocolate

twitterpatedlyyours replied to your post: eating too much sugar and feeling the buzz of it…

i have an ex who used to give me shit for eating like all of his jam in the morning when i stayed the night but like… how can you just eat two pieces of toast with jam??? when you can eat six???

toast with exorbitant amounts of butter and jam was a staple food of mine throughout all of high school. what i would have given to have had several pieces of toast standing by to accommodate the literal half-jar of jam that was inside this one flimsy croissant

They’re constantly abusive to me, bombarding me with ableism, transmisogyny, and heterosexism on a regular basis, and whenever I try to defend myself, they intensify the abuse towards me.

They’ve said, “you haven’t had it hard enough. we’re babying you.” multiple times to me to make the point that they’d like to treat me even worse.

A family member I used to live with was physically abusive to me and I deal with extremely intense PTSD as a result, and what’s worse is that I see the same red flags that I saw in my physical abuser in another family member and it scares me.

I’m too disabled to do the traditional forms of work so I’m financially dependent on my abusers who use emotional blackmail on me regularly to force me to fit into the image of the person and that image is killing me slowly.

I need to have financial independence and I need to escape and that’s where you come. Fight abuse culture by helping me to escape. I’m raising the money I need for rent and food and medical stuff and transition stuff and I still have quite a ways to go.

Please help me escape my family so I can live my own life, not determined by my abusers.

anonymous asked:

I'm from California please explain cheeky nandos I'm so lost

m8 it’s well simple. it’s like you’re hanging with the lads and you’re peckish, and you’re fancying a maccies cos you haven’t been in ages, and it’d be proper good banter. But then your mandem will be like “nah let’s have a cheeky nandos” and then you’ll be proper chuffed, the banter train’s going full steam ahead today, so you have your butterfly chicken and 2 fino sides and it’s fucking top

10

grey’s anatomy meme » (1/5) locations - 613 harper lane

the chips on the ceiling are from the first christmas tree we got intern year. you wouldn’t know that, because we didn’t like you then. and the burn marks on the hardwoods are from flame shots from that stupid party izzie threw. and the scratch marks on the doorjamb in the study are zola’s height marks since she could stand, and the ones on the other side are from me when i was little. i grew up there, alex. it’s hard for me to change things. and you grew up there, too.

I’m a physically disabled, neurodiverse trans lesbian and I’m trying very hard to escape my abusive family.

They force me to comply with their image of who I want to be, with the implicit threat that I don’t comply with it, they’ll escalate the abuse, and if that doesn’t work, kick me out.

They constantly pressure me and disregard the boundaries and limitations that I have as a result of my disabilities. They expect me to do labor that me, having a really bad back that means I deal with high levels of chronic pain, can’t do. They’ve had this absurd expectation that I’ll have a month or two of physical therapy and that it’ll erase all the damage and I won’t have to deal with pain, but it’s unrealistic, I’ve been doing physical therapy for the last two months and aside in getting more muscular again, my pain is still as bad as it was before.

My family has pushed these unrealistic expectations onto me that my body simply can’t fit into, I’m not ablebodied and they don’t want to acknowledge that and they don’t respect it. When I point out my disabilities, they accuse me of putting up “barriers” and escalate the abuse. They persistently make ableist remarks towards me and use my needs as emotional blackmail to make me comply with what they want me to do. Whenever they talk about other disabled people, they try to make inspiration porn out of them and basically imply, “that person overcame their disability, why can’t you?”.

This hostile environment has drastically affected my emotional health and I’m constantly dealing with high levels of anxiety, depression, and ptsd symptoms(most of that, from one of my family physically assaulting me)

My family is transmisogynistic as fuck and they constantly try to regulate my expression, trying to emotionally manipulate me into an image that I’m not. They misgender me on a regular basis, despite the times I have told them I’m not a man, they always seem to magically forget. I have such limited leeway with my expression and they would likely kick me out if I transitioned and defended myself against their constant transmisogyny.

One of my family members, who I live with, always makes these extremely transmisogynistic jokes in my presence and it always makes me feel super unsafe. This is a family member who I’ve begun to see the same red flags that I saw in my physical abuser and I’m worried a second family is going to physically assault me and I can’t have additional trauma, that would kill me.

My family is really lesbophobic and gross and they have such a dislike of queer people and always constantly push to center heterosexuality in spaces.

All in all, my family is gross abusive shit and if I stay with them, it’s going to kill me. I need to escape desperately. I tried to escape before but I simply didn’t have the money to escape and be independent of their influence in the long term, the city I live in is extremely expensive so trying to find somewhere to rent, even with room mates was beyond my pay grade. Help fight abuse culture by donating and signal boosting so I can escape my family permanently. I need money for rent, food, medical stuff, transition costs, clothes(winter clothes are super important for me to get because I don’t really have any and the city I’m going to move to is a much colder city), transportation, etc.

The sooner I can escape, the better. I want to start living a life in a community I decide to be in, not one I’m forced to be in. Please, help me escape the abuse.