I’m a physically disabled, neurodiverse trans lesbian and I’m trying very hard to escape my abusive family.
They force me to comply with their image of who I want to be, with the implicit threat that I don’t comply with it, they’ll escalate the abuse, and if that doesn’t work, kick me out.
They constantly pressure me and disregard the boundaries and limitations that I have as a result of my disabilities. They expect me to do labor that me, having a really bad back that means I deal with high levels of chronic pain, can’t do. They’ve had this absurd expectation that I’ll have a month or two of physical therapy and that it’ll erase all the damage and I won’t have to deal with pain, but it’s unrealistic, I’ve been doing physical therapy for the last two months and aside in getting more muscular again, my pain is still as bad as it was before.
My family has pushed these unrealistic expectations onto me that my body simply can’t fit into, I’m not ablebodied and they don’t want to acknowledge that and they don’t respect it. When I point out my disabilities, they accuse me of putting up “barriers” and escalate the abuse. They persistently make ableist remarks towards me and use my needs as emotional blackmail to make me comply with what they want me to do. Whenever they talk about other disabled people, they try to make inspiration porn out of them and basically imply, “that person overcame their disability, why can’t you?”.
This hostile environment has drastically affected my emotional health and I’m constantly dealing with high levels of anxiety, depression, and ptsd symptoms(most of that, from one of my family physically assaulting me)
My family is transmisogynistic as fuck and they constantly try to regulate my expression, trying to emotionally manipulate me into an image that I’m not. They misgender me on a regular basis, despite the times I have told them I’m not a man, they always seem to magically forget. I have such limited leeway with my expression and they would likely kick me out if I transitioned and defended myself against their constant transmisogyny.
One of my family members, who I live with, always makes these extremely transmisogynistic jokes in my presence and it always makes me feel super unsafe. This is a family member who I’ve begun to see the same red flags that I saw in my physical abuser and I’m worried a second family is going to physically assault me and I can’t have additional trauma, that would kill me.
My family is really lesbophobic and gross and they have such a dislike of queer people and always constantly push to center heterosexuality in spaces.
All in all, my family is gross abusive shit and if I stay with them, it’s going to kill me. I need to escape desperately. I tried to escape before but I simply didn’t have the money to escape and be independent of their influence in the long term, the city I live in is extremely expensive so trying to find somewhere to rent, even with room mates was beyond my pay grade. Help fight abuse culture by donating and signal boosting so I can escape my family permanently. I need money for rent, food, medical stuff, transition costs, clothes(winter clothes are super important for me to get because I don’t really have any and the city I’m going to move to is a much colder city), transportation, etc.
The sooner I can escape, the better. I want to start living a life in a community I decide to be in, not one I’m forced to be in. Please, help me escape the abuse.