Shrek 4: Shrek Forever After, and it is arguably the best Shrek (after Shrek 2 of course)
See that fat ass Puss in Boots? Hell yeah
Basically Shrek is unhappy that he’s no longer a fearsome orge, he’s like a novelty, and at his kids birthday party (all 3 of them because they’re triplets) he stomps out angrily after a little breakdown where he runs into this wiley fuck:
that’s rumpelstiltskin, the tricky fuck known for crooked deals. he chats with shrek and convinces shrek to sign a deal where he will take any old unrememberable day from shrek’s childhood and give shrek a full day to be a scary ol’ ogre who can terrorize villages again. shrek readily agrees, only ol’ rumpel takes the day he was born in a twist, putting shrek into a (his) present-day timeline where he never existed and only has 24 hours to live before disappearing forever.
See now this timeline is totally fucked AND Rumpel is the king of it all, because unbeknownst to anyone, the king and queen were literally SECONDS away from signing the kingdom away to Rumpel to heal Fiona the DAY they got the knews shrek had rescued her. With no shrek to save her, they signed it away to him to help their dear daughter. BUTHEDIDNT, he only took the kingdom!
instead, fiona becomes THIS:
a badass warrior running an underground militia of ogres who fight against the tyrranical rumpel, who has ordered all ogres that are found to be murdered. with her badass kung-foo fighting skills she escaped the tower HERSELF after years of no one coming for her, and here she is with her lovely, spoiled, sweet, cream-loving housecat:
so the plot of this movie is shrek must break the contract (as all rumpel contracts have a secret escape claus) by getting true love’s kiss before sunrise when he will disappear forever, with the help of a distrusting Donkey who NEVER became his best friend and is pretty fearful of ogres. He must get fearless warrior fiona to fall in love with and kiss him in this time (she thinks hes a wimp btw) and help defeat rumpel’s evil plans before it’s all over, and this timeline becomes a permanent reality
Filling the prompts “Van worships you?” and “the girl and van are good friends and she has feelings for him but is too insecure to think he’d like her back so when van tells her he loves her she gets mad bc she thinks he’s playing her and he has to convince her that he isn’t lying” and “van really falling for the reader because he doesn’t usually meet girls who love wrestling as much as him” from Em
The world was filled with good and bad things you could not comprehend. Black holes. The spooky accuracy of horoscopes. How Foo Fights got so popular. Lupita Nyong’o’s ethereal otherworldly beauty. Complicated, logic-defying, confusing things that only served to freak you out and unsettle you entirely. Van was adding himself to the list.
“Why… are you not sayin’ anything?” he asked. Because you didn’t believe him, that’s why. You didn’t understand him. What he was saying was impossible.
“I… No… This can’t…” Fragmented sentences trying to communicate fragmented thoughts. You stood up and began to pace. Then, you walked away. Van followed you around the side of his house and out to your car.
“Y/N,” he said, holding your door open when you went to close it after climbing in the front seat. “Where are you going?"
"Home.” You could answer that.
“You are home. That’s what I’m saying. You belong here, with me.” Your thoughts were too many in number and combined they made a loud white noise in your head. Static. You couldn’t think. Van crouched down on the road, between you and the door. “Y/N, look at me.” You held the steering wheel, knuckles going white. Staring straight ahead, you begged yourself to not be like this, not to freak out. You would finally have what you always wanted if you could just manage to not freak out. “I know you like me. Why are you… What are you doing?"
me - omg! what?!? no! you tool! are you disturbed? thats not tre cool man! have you got issues? what pete wentz through your mind for you to think that?! like srsly theres no gerard way i could be! did all your senses fail or something? i’m patrick stumped as to why you would think that, just try asking alexandria, she’s tell you the same thing. to be frank iero, whichever mikey way you look at it, that’s outrageous! it’s like you did 182 +44 and got the sum of 41. if you’re going to keep making these accusations, im going to get really josh dun with you; i might panic! at the disco and we might hit an all time low and have a fall out, boy- you know i can get pretty reckless and i just dont want a foo fight. attending a funeral for a friend would not be a good day to remember.