followed by sobbing

This Lily Evans.

(( OOC: Written by: carpetheday ))

Because your James & Lily threads always make my heart feel way too many things.
(Also because after an election night like this we all deserve to feel a little Jily love)

James had always been an early riser. Ever since he was a young child he had memories of waking when the sun had barely come over the horizon. He would throw his sheets to the ground, his feet hitting the carpet so fast he almost fell down the stairs as he flung himself along the banister.

But these morning, these mornings were different. He would stretch his toes, curve his back and roll his shoulders into the mattress. He could feel the white sheet of their bed draped causally over him, the sun pouring through the white curtains warming his skin and the faintest of summer breezes wafting through the room. He would let his eyes flutter open and without a thought let his head drop to the side.

When he was a boy he had loved rising early because no one else was awake and he could do whatever he pleased. He could climb on the counter and grab the sugary cereal his mum kept on the top shelf. He could ride his broom through the kitchen and into the living room. But as a young man, he had an entirely new reason for wanting to wake with the sun.

Lily.

He blinked the sun and sleep from his eyes. Her face was directed towards him and they were so close he didn’t even need his glasses to see her. Her fiery mane of hair was draped across their white pillowcases, her pale freckled back was exposed as she lay comfortably snoring on her stomach and her arms were curved under the pillow that she had nuzzled into her face.

Being in love with Lily Evans since he was eleven years old was nothing like being in love with Lily Potter.

Hogwarts Lily Evans was a mystery from the moment he saw her with that awe-stricken look on her face and those wide emerald eyes. He had wanted to know her immediately. She was a whirlwind of chaos, an overbearing know-it-all, a painstakingly witty firecracker. And still her smile was so full of sunshine and her heart a garden full of the brightest flowers. He remembered watching her in class with her prim and proper uniform, her perfectly straightened posture, her precise wand movements. He remembered thinking that this was the one, this was his soulmate. But he really had no idea at the time that that magnetic feeling in his gut, the one that would eventually pull them together, was so much more than the faint crush on the beautiful redhead across the classroom.

When she had become the future Mrs. Potter that crush felt so different. He finally realized she was not a mystery at all. No matter how much she remained a chaotic, dictatorial firecracker; she somehow became the changing of the leaves when Autumn ran rampant through the Forbidden Forest and the way mugs of hot chocolate warm your frostbitten fingers. This Lily Evans was as real as she was ethereal. She sat across from him with her legs over the arm of the squishiest armchair in the common room and laughed so hard at his friend’s jokes that her smile took up her whole face. This Lily Evans fell asleep in the Heads office with a quill in her hand and drool dripping down her cheek. This Lily Evans still screamed at him until her face was red and her hair was practically flaming and his chest was bruised from where her finger slammed into it. This Lily Evans caught eyes with him from across the corridor when he was speaking with another girl and her eyes would narrow, her eyebrow would kink, her jaw would grit.

That was when he knew what it meant.

That was when he knew this woman wasn’t just some beautiful conundrum that he had made up in his head to be that way. She was someone who could make his heart race, who could throw his witty comebacks right in his face, who could take one look at him and just know something was wrong. This Lily was one of his best friends, someone who in spite of everything could still keep him on his toes.

And because of that, she was someone who he wanted to share everything with.

But it wasn’t until their wedding day that he realized again he hadn’t figured it out after all. There was so much more.

When he had looked up from fumbling with his tie his entire body froze in its place next to Sirius and his lungs emptied of air. She was walking towards him arm in arm with her father. Her hips swaying ever so slightly, her veil flowing gracefully behind her with the wind. The music was playing but his heart was thumping so loudly he could barely hear it. Her forest green eyes were gazing into him and the way her lips curved into a smirk, the way her eyebrow kinked at his open mouth, he realized it.

It was no longer her mystery that made his heart pound, no longer the chase, no longer the idea that she was the girl of his dreams. It was that he could look at her in the morning when her hair was unkempt, dry toothpaste stuck to her chin, inhaling a fresh mug of coffee in the middle of their kitchen and his heart would still pound like this.

That’s how he knew what that magnetic feeling meant.

Or so he thought.  

The Mrs. Potter version of Lily Evans, the woman before him now, continued everyday to show him how little he knew. This woman lying next to him, lying so peacefully in their bedroom on a slow summer morning was the woman who when he had asked on bended knee to wear his mother’s ring practically burst. She was concerned and confused and suddenly her voice raised. His heart was in his throat because he couldn’t imagine not having this. And then she froze in her pacing and her voice rang, “But … I-I really want to. Yes.” 

And he didn’t think his heart could swell so large as he watched her eyes well with tears, as he slid the ring onto her finger.

That was until this woman had, only ten months ago, given him the greatest gift he could ever have asked for, Harry. The smallest bundle of black hair tufts and pudgy arms he had ever seen. 

This Lily Evans was still fireworks, still a thunderstorm in May, still a dictatorial powerhouse. She could scream and yell and kick up her heels. But she was everything he wanted. For better or for worse. She was still it.

So when he woke up that morning with the sun and turned his head over just like he did every morning; he couldn’t help but catch his breath. He had never dreamed that he could be so loved, that he could love so fiercely, that his heart could swell so immensely. But here he was with his best friends and his little boy and his wife. Prophecy or not this was exactly where he belonged. This is where he was meant to be and he was going to fight like hell to protect this because Lily deserved that much, deserved to see her little one grow. And Harry deserved to have his mum lick her thumb to wipe dirt off his cheek, a mum who would wipe his tears and kiss his scraped knees. He deserved that.

And when her emerald eyes flickered open and the corner of her lip quirked upward his heart thudded loudly in his chest just like it had on their wedding day James couldn’t help but melt, “You know Evans, I could watch a million sunrises and still never see one quite as beautiful as your eyes slowly opening in the morning.”

The corner of her eyebrow lifted ever so slightly as she blinked the sleep from her eyes, “Merlin you’re cheesy in the mornings. And that’s Potter to you, love.”

4

(1459-1524) “I have lived my life the best I could, not knowing its purpose, but drawn forward like a moth to a distant moon; I discover a strange truth. That I am only a conduit, for a message that eludes my understanding.” 

Domestic Drabbles - 3: Curtains

Presenting part 3 of Domestic Drabbles :D 

This one was inspired by a lovely piece of art by the AMAZING @dancingwdinosaurs (: Please go look at their beautiful work! 

And shoutout to @baz-n-simon for being the most amazing beta and support!


Baz

The cruel irony about dating Simon Snow is that I’m a vampire dating the sun. And like the sun, Simon is up far too early for my liking. Or anyone else’s, for that matter.

“Simon,” comes a muffled voice from the other side of the far wall, along with a pounding. Bunce. “You’re being too loud. I’m trying to sleep!”

I pull the covers over my face and try to ignore the pounding.

“Sorry, Penny!” Simon says, too loudly, from somewhere in the room. But he seems to be digging through his wardrobe and continues slamming the drawers.

I groan. Unlike the sun, I can’t just close a curtain on Snow and hope to be able to fall back asleep. Once he’s up, so am I. So I roll over and peek my head out of the blanket, but he’s not in the room.

“Snow?” I pull the covers off and slowly sit on the edge of the bed.

A bottle clanks against the floor in the bathroom and rolls out into the bedroom. There’s more pounding from Bunce’s room, and I pinch the bridge of my nose. A moment later though, Snow walks out to pick up the bottle. Crowley.

“Oh, Baz,” he says, and he’s just standing there in his boxers, freshly showered, and holding the bottle against his chest. The sun is coming in through the bathroom window, creating a halo-like shadow on his hair, and his skin is glowing. He looks…

“Did I wake you up?”

Angelic. At Watford, in the few times Snow would walk out of the bathroom looking like this, I only could glance once or twice, then pretend not to notice. But now I can’t take my eyes off of him. And I don’t have to.

“It was just the sun, Snow,” I say, and he smiles at me. Crowley.

“I will get some better curtains,” he says and walks back into the bathroom.

I don’t need any curtains.

I stand up and walk towards the bathroom. Snow’s brushing his teeth, and I smile at him through the mirror. Sometimes Snow likes to pretend he can’t see me in the mirror, for the sake of his cheesy vampire jokes, but he smiles back at me this time, his mouth full of toothpaste.

I step up behind him and wrap my hand around his waist, putting my face into his hair. He smells like cinnamon and citrus. He puts his hand over mine, and I kiss his curls.

“Good morning, love,” I say.

He smiles at me with his toothbrush still in his mouth. “G’ah mornin’.”


(Part 1)(Part 2)(Part 4)(ao3)

(( OOC: Written by: carpetheday ))

Decided to do another Jily. A tad long but I can’t seem to help it aha
I figured you wouldn’t mind a little angst considering all your angsty threads giving me heart palpitations.
Enjoy.

Warning: Reference to Violence

Lily sighed heavily, the cigarette dangling between her finger tips, its bright orange embers flickering against the dark black sky around her. The top of the Astronomy Tower had always provided her with a quiet place to think despite the way the cold wind whipped around the building off the lake and enveloped her body. It used to send shivers down her spine, especially when she forgot her jumper in her room like she did tonight. Usually it would bother her but she felt like she needed the piercing cold of the wind on her skin, she needed it to make her feel something other than raw and numb.

The last few weeks had all but consumed her, the stress of homework, the overwhelming increase in violent incidents and that tosser who always seemed to infiltrate her thoughts. It was exhausting and infuriating as hell.

She brought the cigarette to her lips, inhaled deeply and released a long, drawn out breath. The smoke came out her mouth and nose; it danced around her face and was taken away with the wind across the school grounds. She watched it go wishing that she could float away that easily, be something or someone who was not cursed to feel forever static.

She rubbed her fingers into her temple; she didn’t know how to cope with the oncoming winter or with her friends, or her foes. Ever since her rather large public blowout with Severus his friends had taken quite a liking to her. Every time she rounded a corner there one of them was with a malicious glare in their eye and a rather terrifying grimace. Of course she was never one to back down from a fight so when the glares and grimaces turned into physical retaliations and slurs she reacted.

She had gotten herself more detentions this year than any of her years at Hogwarts combined and her fists were decorated with more bruises than they had ever been in her whole life. She smirked at the thought, most of the time she did deserve the detention and she wouldn’t take back a single one of them. Even the one that landed her with Filch for a whole weekend, she would have scrubbed the entire castle to be able to return to the moment that her fist connected with Avery’s nose.

Thankfully her broken knuckle was easily repairable.

She ashed the cigarette gently with her finger and released another heavy sigh. Sirius had told her not to think about it too much, he had laughed it off with a joke about old family friends and Lily laughed too, at the time. Doesn’t make it hurt any less, she thought as Sirius’ frame disappeared through the hospital wing doors. When James had come to visit it had ended in a screaming match about ‘dangerous situations.’ She had complained to Sirius for weeks and he had smirked when she did, oh Evans, why now?

She couldn’t answer that. It had been years of hatred and bitter arguments and loud public throw-downs that had led her to believe her hatred for James Potter to be completely justified. He was obnoxious and crass, his head was too big for his shoulders and his mouth never stopped moving. He was an incessantly aggravating young boy who had become a rather endearing young man, someone she could even call friend. He had relaxed with the flirtation, it took her months to realize she missed that, and practically every girl in their grade took notice of the effects Quidditch training had on him much to her annoyance. She swore if she had to sit next to another group of girls at a Gryffindor match as they batted their eyelashes and muttered about his chiseled jaw she would vomit.

Again, Sirius had muttered, oh Evans.

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9

Hello Everyone! Happy New Year! May The Year 2017 Bring for You….
Happiness,Success and filled with Peace. 

Honestly 2016 was the worst year for me everything in  my life was a messed then I came back running to tumblr and hope that I can find happiness in this website and Im so glad I did coz Yuri!!! on ice , my friends and followers are still there for me and made new greats friends It made me feel not alone..  I really wanna thank my friends who still loves me and welcome me back with so much love like always. If werent for you guys I would have probably gone crazy and still thinking my life is miserable and just want it to end but now I seriously dont feel that anymore! with you guys and Victuuri I am happy and content!!! I LOVE YOU GUYS SO MUCHHHHH LIKE SO MUCHHHHH!!! THANKS FOR ALWAYS TAKING CARE OF ME AND PLEASE TAKE CARE OF ME THIS YEAR ASWELL …

THANK YOU SO MUCH AGAIN! AND PLEASE FOLLOW ALL THESE AMAZING BLOGS!!! THESE PEOPLE ARE REALLY PRECIOUS TO ME, THEY ARE MY FRIENDS AND PEOPLE I LOOK UP TO! THEY ARE ALL COOL :D

@a-sakuras | @aetherreise | @ahokitsune | @aitaikimochi | @aizawashoutta | @akafuri | @akashihuahua | @akatsukii | @akiteru | @anjizu | @artbooksnat | @asahiis | @atrashpotatoe | @atsush-i | @atsushisnakajima | @augustmacleod | @ayumiko | @bakaagami | @bakamura | @captainmatsuoka | @cerenady | @chibitetsu | @chizusu | @daiizume | @dearestsoul | @escarletes | @estearisa | @euloqy | @fairytailwitch | @foolishneko | @fudayk | @fulllbusters | @furihata | @fuyukoi | @fyeahyurionice | @fyette | @gasaisyuno | @haiyse | @hanae-ichihara | @hanamiyah | @heichoukawaii | @hittokas | @hosoyaaan | @imayoshishouichi | @izumou | @jennhii | @justnosense | @kadrena | @kammishiro | @katsuraz | @kawarou | @keitsukishima | @killvua | @kirishimma | @kirlua | @kunizuuka | @kurocchii | @kurogamis | @kurokohs | @kurootesturou | @kurorolucilfer | @lavihs | @lelouuch | @majorocelot | @makotozz | @mamotte | @md0rma | @midforde | @mizus@mizukihs | @mmakotoz | @nannaseharu | @naruzumake | @nicolasis | @nozakis | @ 0kamii | @ohayocelestia | @ohbirds | @plisetskis | @plisetski | @racyue | @reijikotobuki | @s-haa | @sagararei | @sakusa-chan | @sawtsuki| @seiyuunotabi | @seijouhh | @seiyuu | @sennenkoi | @serragakis | @shotous | @sonokatas | @sousukez | @sunyshore | @suzuyahz | @suzuyajuzoo | @t0moe | @taiga-taiga-burning-bright | @taitetsu | @toggyu | @tovsei | @v-nikiforov | @xakumhas | @xivyxx | @yamazekis | @yashiros | @yushiyuki

OOC. guess who’s doing ANOTHER follow forever finally?! 

yes!! it us :’) back with another MILESTONE, and left feeling v grateful and all happy inside~ 

I know it’s been a WHILE since I’ve done one, but I decided to do one only every 250 new followers I get – because as WEIRD as it is to say, we reach new milestones so fast that the moment I post one of these, within the next month or so we reach another. so, to make it more SPECIAL and less EXCESSIVE tbh. 

I always do this thing where I ramble before I actually get to the point of these things, which is tagging everyone! but I just want to say THANK YOU! as always, we have such a loving family here on tumblr and have always felt so welcomed, regardless of the rude people that typically come and go. you guys always give so much support, and I can’t even describe how AMAZED I am that we’ve reached such a big number like this. I never anticipated getting this far and having such a wonderful family here, but I honestly can’t say I don’t know where I’d be today without Ari. she is a huge part of my life and will always be! 

SPECIAL THANKS: @delincuenta for this BEAUTIFUL banner! love u bab :’) also the drawing done by an old friendo who is no longer on tumblr anymore – just wanted a quick disclaimer so ya’ll know I didn’t draw that lmao. 

alright, onto the tags! ( the most important part !! ) 

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400 Follower forever

Another 100 followers. WHY. I just did one on My Munakata. My heart can’t take it anymore! Well it can, please follow me more, but still! Today’s one is basically me listing all the best people using a good ol mention list under the cut. Just so you know. I love every and each of my followers, but i will not mention everyone. I won’t remember in the first place. but those who i do remember and mention. Well, you can already know, you are forever in my heart, people that make me come back to this side every day. People who i have threads with, and people who i don’t know very well, but REALLY want to! Okay. ILY ALL. Let’s start! In no order what so ever!

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//Ok so as people may have noticed (idk if u still remember i exist since ive been so inactive lmao_(:3 」∠)_ I’ve been quite inactive and i apologize!!!
So ive been feeling super unwell today, like dizziness and headache… I was motivated to draw but i hope tomorrow I’ll feel better…. And all in all ive been feeling like my art is shit basically:-) :-) :-) So ive been quiet, im so sorry guys(;;;´ `;;;;; )💦
I’ll try to do better soon!!! Ilu guys!!!💕💕

2

Thank you everyone!!! This isn’t a dream, right??

I never dream to reach this point…. I had..like 3 followers before I stepped into this MM hell XDDD Yeah the heaven hell. I’ll keep up with both my study and artwork so that you won’t regret following me *sobs* Please have this speed drawing of MEGANE GANG for this astonished occasion! Lol~~

Thank you!

Hey there! :) Do you still want people’s baking pictures? I’m making chocolate chip cookies with M&Ms today, but I think I’ll put the rest of the dough back in the fridge and bake it tomorrow. I’ve already eaten waaaayyy more cookies than my bowels can tolerate.

(( OOC: DUUUUUUDE they look awesome!! And cookie dough always bakes way better after resting in the fridge overnight so thats definitely a good idea. happy baking! ))

                     — ≡  ░             She was beautiful.    
                                             But  beautiful  in  a,
                                                            way  that   a  forest 
                                             fire   was   beautiful.             ░  ≡ —       

                                              Seojin ‘MINX’ Lim
                                     !!*  NSFW | Some triggering posts may occur | OC
                      Like or follow for a new friend. Reblog + follow for a starter(of varying lengths). 

The first year was absolutely unbearable. Every time I saw or heard your name, I fell apart. I couldn’t listen to music without my throat swelling up. The aching pain in my heart was constant. Everything reminded me of you. I thought drinking heavily with my anti-anxiety medication would help me cope. It didn’t. I don’t remember much. It was all a blur of careless laughter followed by intense moments of sobbing and self-harm.


The second year, it started getting slightly better. I taught myself how to play our favorite song even though I knew you’d never hear me play it. I quit using anti-anxiety meds and hard liquor. I still had days when I refused to believe I would never see or touch you again, but I was starting to grow accustomed to letting go. I had a lot of dreams about you. They began turning into nightmares as my brain finally allowed itself to process and accept how toxic we were for each other in the end.


The third year, I still have dreams about you. I forget most of them, but the ones I remember make me think and dream about you for a week straight. I’ll think of an inside joke sometimes and just laugh while shaking my head. I don’t feel like dying anymore when I hear your name, our songs, or when I see our favorite movies on TV. I still wish you a happy birthday even though you’ll never hear it or realize I even remembered or cared.
 
I’m finally accepting you’ll always be a part of me, so I’d better stop hurting myself over it and move on.

—  My healing process