This has been somewhat on my mind for the past few days so I feel like it’s important enough to articulate on the dash. I’m sure there’s other posts about this but I wanted to take a moment to talk about GUILT TRIPPINGand what that means.
Guilt tripping is emotional manipulation. You partake in it when you use your emotions to urge someone to do something they may not want to do. They feel strong armed into doing the action because if not, you’ll get upset. The use of your possible negative reaction then becomes a threat.
“If you don’t reply, I’ll cry/block/get mad at you.” (It doesn’t have to be said, it can just be implied. It doesn’t invite a person to WANT to reply. It makes them feel like it is an OBLIGATION which it is NOT).
“Why haven’t you replied to me yet?” (You are not ENTITLED to a reply. No one on this site is entitled to a reply. We are all here by CHOICE).
“You replied to others but not me.”
“You don’t reply fast enough.”
“No one wants to ship with me.”
“Pay attention to me.”
It doesn’t have to be overt. And I’m not saying the disappointment isn’t valid, because it is. And I’ve felt it. But there are proper ways of depicting your disappointment and sharing your emotions. Some positive examples are as follows, because I know communicating with people is very difficult. Especially online.
“I feel upset that I’m not getting replied to, but I want to understand why you haven’t.” (It stops being an attack, and instead a discussion).
“Is there something I could do? Is it personal? Or is it just that our writing doesn’t click?”
“I feel disappointed because I think you’re an amazing writer and look up to you.”
I would also recommend asking yourself if you’re already upset about something else, and how that may be affecting your emotional state.
At the end of the day, your feelings are valid! You are allowed to feel disappointed! But it doesn’t make it okay to force your emotions onto a person. People have their reasons for not replying quickly or replying to other first. And ultimately, they don’t need to explain themselves. Most people do, because they are being polite. FOR THOSE FEELING GUILT TRIPPED: YOU ARE ALLOWED TO SAY NO! IT DOES NOT MAKE YOU AN ASSHOLE! YOU HAVE A SAY IN HOW YOU RUN YOU BLOG BECAUSE IT IS JUST THAT: YOURS.
But it may be real life, it may be muse is slow, it may be that muse is being fickle and particular, or maybe they just don’t want to! It isn’t something that needs to be taken that to heart. It isn’t a comment on your worth as a person, or your success as a writer. You’re allowed to be passionate, of course. But there is a world outside of roleplay. And sometimes when in the midst of our own insecurities, we forget.
You are worth being befriended! I promise! (I struggle with believing that, too). It is just a happenstance when you collide random people online. Just like in real life, you may wish well towards someone, but you just may not click. Just like you may not click as writers.
But you are beautiful! And I love you! Don’t give up. Because you’re going to find people that are stoked to write with you, that I can promise you for sure. <3
can you maybe do an ethan one with #3 and #47? thank youuuu!
When you’re consciously aware before you fall asleep that someone is going to wake you up much earlier than your normal routine, it’s relatively expected when someone purposely disturbs your sleep. But when it’s a normal night with absolutely nothing special to do the following morning, you’re a bit grumpy at the unexpected poking to your cheek.
“Y/N! Y/N, wake up. Oh god, I’m terrible.” A familiar laugh. “No seriously, wake up. Please?”
You reluctantly pried one eye open to find a curious, wide gaze staring expectantly back at you. Ethan’s irises were lost in a sea of chocolate brown engulfed by dilated pupils in the darkness of the room. They were eyes attached to a boy you couldn’t bring yourself to be mad at.
He was a boy you could only be mildly annoyed at.
With a defeated sigh, you craned your neck just enough to see the dancing red lights on your bedside alarm clock. “Ethan,” You dropped your cheek back against to pillow to gently chastise him, “It’s three in the morning!”
He seemed all too amused by this. A finger darted between your figures to again poke your cheek, his smile entirely too endearing as he laughed, “Why are you whispering?”
“Because it’s three in the morning!”
“I can’t sleep,” He seemed so serious in that moment, you almost felt bad for being annoyed.
“Okay, and I get deprived because you do?”
Ethan’s pout erased as a shit eating grin crossed his features. His smile was easily as charming and endearing as it was in the day time with a clear mind free of fog and sleep. “What’s mine is yours, right baby?”
You groaned, throwing your head back against the pillows. You furiously rubbed at your eyes with the back of your knuckles as you muffled, “You’re the worst, you know that?”
The bed shifted as he clambered across the sheets to suspend himself above you. He hummed softly as he splayed kisses across your collarbones, trailed them up the length of your neck, nudging them to the corner of your jaw and underneath your ear. You shivered as his warmth breath fanned across your cheek, “I think you’re the best.”
You begrudgingly shifted your head to gaze up at him. “You better.”
Ethan suddenly seemed very tired, thick eyelashes drawing shadows over his already darkened eyes. Sluggishly, he lowered himself to lay beside you yet the better part of his body weight still fell heavy to your torso. With a sigh, you curved your arm around his neck to play at the soft tendrils splayed messily at the nape of his neck.
“Love you,” His voice was so soft you barely registered the muffled phrase.
And then he was asleep. Half on top of you. Leg hooked across your waist. Heavy arm just across your chest. Soft hairs tickling at your jawline. Breath fanning over the dip in your collarbones.
You counted to ten three times before you finally allowed the frustrated breath to escape out your nose. “Yeah, you’re lucky I love you too.”