fmf fic

this evolved from a discussion on twitter. it’s a silly little thing, but julia has written a follow-up that includes all the porn!

“I have a proposal,” Blaine says, sitting down on the edge of the bed and fiddling with the bedspread. 

“Another one?” Kurt says and wiggles his hand. It’s a bad pun, and he’s already done it a hundred times at least, but he can’t help himself. Blaine proposed, they’re engaged

Blaine gives him a nervous smile. “Yeah. Another one.” 

Kurt senses the tension and schools himself, sitting down next to him. “What is it?”

“I was wondering if we could, uhm, schedule our…my…when I…” Blaine trails off, doesn’t meet Kurt’s eyes. He takes a deep breath. “I would like to schedule rimming sessions,” he says in a quick rush, his gaze fixed on the floor boards. 

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FIC: Don't Keep Me Waiting (Klaine, NC-17)

this is bottom!kurt and it’s all for julia

Kurt lasts until after dinner before he finally gives up. It’s been one of those days where they’ve just been out of sync, all day. Blaine made coffee when Kurt wanted tea, Kurt put on the coffee house lounge playlist when Blaine wanted the songs to sing to in the shower playlist. Kurt wanted to go for a walk, Blaine wanted to watch a movie. They haven’t been mad at each other, or even annoyed, they’ve just not been on the same page as they usually are. Also, Kurt wanted sex when he woke up, but Blaine was already out of bed. 

All day, Kurt has been trying to hint at Blaine what he wants. He put on his tightest pair of pants, he’s been bending over a lot more than usual, he’s been standing unnecessary close to Blaine while cooking, and still…nothing. Blaine has been completely oblivious, and after dinner, Kurt gives up. 

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FIC: Light me up, put me on top (Kurtbastian, R)

this…escalated. sillyness, frottage, masturbation. ao3

“Seba-ah, Sebastian, stop, I–fuck,” Kurt gasps, arching his neck to give Sebastian better access, even as he pushes him away. “Can we–not in the hallway, please?”

“Mm, okay,” Sebastian murmurs, placing one last kiss on Kurt’s neck before backing off. He pulls off his coat and toes off his shoes, leading the way into his apartment, turning on the lights as he goes. When he reaches his bedroom, he looks behind him, expecting Kurt to be right there, but he isn’t. 

Kurt is stuck in the hallway, staring at the living room. 

“You…” he says, closes his mouth, swallows. “I…what?” he says, finally tearing his eyes away to stare at Sebastian instead. “You…how?” he says, throwing his arm out, pointing at everything at once. Sebastian walks closer, crosses his arms over his chest and smirks. 

“I’ll just wait here until you form a complete sentence.”

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FIC: These Moments Are the Only Gifts We Need (Kurtbastian, PG-13)

I’ve been listening to Foundations for like the third time, so this was bound to happen. It’s sappy Christmas fluff. All I know about hospitals I’ve learned from Grey’s Anatomy, sorry about that. ~1,9k. on ao3

Since Kurt doesn’t have a sixth sense, he doesn’t immediately notice that something is wrong when he gets home. He’s exhausted, and he doesn’t register the lack of greeting from Sebastian until he’s rid himself of his coat and shoes and walks into the living room. Sebastian is curled up on the couch, laptop balanced on his blanket-clad thighs, and it takes Kurt a moment to recognize the sound of the acoustic covers playlist. Sebastian’s go-to comfort music. Sebastian, who should be packing, not sitting on the couch staring at his computer. 

Kurt takes another step forward, opens his mouth to berate his boyfriend, but then he notices the empty ice cream cartoon and the yellow tea mug, and he realizes that somethings has happened, that this isn’t just Sebastian distracting himself from packing. 

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FIC: No I Won't Act My Age (Kurtbastian, PG-13)

Sebastian is slightly obsessed, and Kurt is not amused.

written a while ago, but posted today in honor of the four release! also on ao3

If Sebastian was to make a list of all their arguments, he’s pretty sure that at least half of them have stemmed from laundry. This one is no exception. 

Kurt is at the laundromat and reluctantly set Sebastian in charge of putting on new sheets on the bed, simply because he won’t have time to do it until he gets home, late. Because of reasons, this is the first time Sebastian gets to make the bed, and he seizes the opportunity. He digs deep into his closet, brings out the sheets that probably has a slightly lower thread count than what Kurt prefers, but his boyfriend will just have to deal. 

He honestly doesn’t expect quite the reaction he gets. Kurt drops off the laundry when it’s done, then departs just as quickly, and doesn’t get home until after eleven. Sebastian doesn’t get off the couch until Kurt yells at him from the bedroom. 

Sebastian! What the fuck is this?” 

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FIC: Dressed For Success (Kelliott, NC-17)

Crossdressing!bp!Kurt & Elliott having sex. That’s it. 


Thanks to bononoh for beta. 

It’s one of those days where they just pass by each other all day. Elliott kissing Kurt goodbye on his way out of the door, while Kurt is just entering the kitchen to have breakfast; a couple of quick text messages when Kurt’s lunch break ends, just as Elliott’s begins; a five-minute conversation in the hallway when Elliott comes home and Kurt is leaving for his shift at the diner. 

When Kurt gets home again it’s pretty late, but it’s a Friday, and they’re both free the next day. 

“Hey,” Elliott says, smiling warmly when Kurt joins him in the kitchen. “How are you?” He turns away from the counter and the tea he’s making, opening up his arms for Kurt, who goes straight into his embrace. 

“Tired,” Kurt says, his voice muffled by Elliott’s t-shirt. “So tired.”

Elliott kisses his temple and strokes his back. “You’ve had dinner?” Kurt nods. “You want tea?” Another nod. “My computer’s on the coffee table, go put on a movie and I’ll be right there, okay?”

“I love you,” Kurt says, leaning up to press a kiss to Elliott’s jaw, before he does as he’s told. 

When Elliott comes out in the living room, Kurt is sitting on the floor by the coffee table, Elliott’s computer open in front of him, and with an expression Elliott can’t quite parse. Then Kurt looks up at him, and Elliott is reminded with startling clarity just what he was doing before he went to make tea. 

He was browsing for porn. 

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prompt: innocent bp!kurt rubbing his pussy against the edge of the couch and blaine catching him?

just a tiny crappy piece to try and break my writer’s block. prompt by the ever-so-lovely julia ♥︎

It’s nine in the evening, and the heat is still pressing. They’ve spent all day lazing around by the pool in Blaine’s parents’ backyard, both a little intimidated by the amount of skin they’ve been showing off and seeing. Now, they’re inside, and Blaine just left Kurt on the couch to get some lemonade. 

“Hey, sweetheart, do you wanna watch…” Blaine falters when he reenters the living room and sees what Kurt is doing, “…a movie.” He almost drops the glasses, but catches himself at the last second and grips them tighter instead, the condensation mixing with the sweat on his palms. “What–” His voice cracks, and he coughs. “What are you doing?” he asks, his question completely redundant, because he can see what Kurt is doing. 

Kurt is straddling the armrest of the couch and is rubbing himself against it. When he hears Blaine, he turns around, aims his big, pleading eyes at him. “I just–it’s so hot, I’m so hot, it’s–please, Blaine, I don’t know what to do.” He sounds like he’s on the verge of tears, the desperation clear on his face, and Blaine feels light-headed as blood rushes to his cock. He takes a few quick steps to the couch, puts the glasses down on the coffee table, then kneels in front of Kurt. 

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FIC: Let's Go All The Way Tonight (Klaine, NC-17)

Kurt, young and innocent, meets Blaine, a NYADA senior with a certain reputation, and follows him home. ~6,8k. AO3.

Thanks to Christine for beta and to Julia for awesome cheerleading ♥︎

Kurt first meets Blaine when he’s nineteen and follows Rachel to Callbacks. They’ve been in New York for two months, but this is the first time Kurt is really out and about. He’s quiet for most of the night, sipping his diet coke as he listens to Rachel and her friends chatter on and on about NYADA, constantly interrupting themselves when one of them gets on stage to perform. They’re good, all of them, they wouldn’t be here if they weren’t, but Kurt doesn’t see anyone who really catches his attention until a short, dark-haired boy with a bowtie enters the stage and sits down by the piano. 

The cheers he gets tell Kurt he’s well-known. If Kurt had to guess, he’d probably put him down as a senior, maybe even an alumni who’s just back for the night. He oozes confidence, and he has no sheet music to go by when he starts to play. It’s an improvised intro, but there are some familiar notes, and eventually it tunes out into a piano cover of Katy Perry’s Teenage Dream

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FIC: oh, i'll dress you up (Kelliott, NC-17)

fic with crossdressing elliott and i also accidentally slipped in a slight pain!kink. no regrets, just love (ノ◕ヮ◕)ノ*:・゚✧

(and klaine never got back together shh just go with it)

Kurt doesn’t think about it while he’s getting dressed, but when he hurries back to the dressing room to fetch the brooch he’d forgotten on the table, he realizes that Elliott had taken very long to examine his clothes before actually changing, and he realizes why. 

Elliott is standing with his performance pants halfway up his thighs when Kurt bursts in through the door, which leaves Kurt with a spectacular view of Elliott’s ass. 

Elliott’s ass, which is covered in lace. Because Elliott is wearing lace panties. 

“I–,” Kurt says, then falters. Elliott isn’t moving, he’d froze when Kurt opened the door. 

“In or out,” he bites eventually, when Kurt doesn’t continue. “Just close the fucking door.”

Kurt walks out.

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FIC: If My Heart Was A House (Kurtbastian, NC-17)

Title: If My Heart Was A House - COMPLETE
Pairing: Kurtbastian
Rating: NC-17
Word count: ~39k
Beta: bononoh
Summary: Kurt and Sebastian meet during the summer after high school and fall head over heels in love with each other. They don’t talk about what’s going to happen in September, when they’re both supposed to go to college. (Very loosely based on The Notebook)
A/N: Things from the movie you won’t find in this fic: alzheimers, domestic violence or infidelity. There will be a bit of Klaine further on in the story, so if you don’t like that, consider yourself warned.

Read on: AO3 or

A/N2: This whole fic is the result of the tags on this post. I wish I was kidding. All my love to Malin, Emy and Christine for seeing me through this, to Maria for (however vaguely) prompting it, and thanks to underactive-life & greatesteverseamonkey for helping me out somewhere in the middle. 

FIC: Never In Your Wildest Dreams (Kurtbastian, NC-17)

This is an extremely late birthday present for colfhummel. Yes, I am ashamed. BP!Kurt and Sebastian in an established relationship. Sex. Nothing out of the ordinary. 4,2k. For full list of kinks and such, refer to ao3

“So, your birthday is coming up,” Kurt says when they’re settled on the subway. They’re on their way to Sebastian’s friends Halloween party, dressed in semi-matching costumes and working hard on keeping their hands off of each other.

“Mhm. So?” Sebastian says, pressing his thigh closer against Kurt’s.

So,” Kurt says, squeezing Sebastian’s hand. “What do you want? Do you want to do anything special, do you want a gift?”

Sebastian snorts and rearranges himself, slips his hand out of Kurt’s and slides his arm around Kurt’s waist instead. “No, I don’t want a gift. I don’t want to do anything.”

“Nothing? Really?”

“Yes, really. It’s no big deal.”

Kurt tries hard to keep his face in check and not let his surprise and shock show, but judging by Sebastian’s entertained expression, he’s failing.

“But…It’s your birthday,” Kurt tries to argue. He doesn’t have a better argument than that, though, and he hears how weak it sounds.

“Yeah. But I’m only turning twenty-two. It’s just another day.”

“But there’s gotta be something?” Kurt tries.

Sebastian leans in, puts his mouth so close to Kurt’s ear that his breath makes Kurt shiver. “Well, if you really want to give me something, you can let me fuck you.”

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i found this in my docs. i wrote it back in march, when the “kiss a stranger” hype was still a hype. i think i put it in someone’s inbox but i don’t remember? anyway, here, have it.

By the time Kurt is standing in front of a rustic sliding door, he has already changed his mind about two hundred times. His palms are sweaty and he hesitates one last time, considers just turning around and ignoring it all, before he takes a deep breath and knocks. The door slides open almost immediately, and a girl not much older than Kurt greets him with a smile.

“Hey, you’re almost the last one,” she says, shaking his hand. “You didn’t meet anyone else on the stairs? I’m Alicia.”

“Kurt,” he says, taking her hand. “And no, I didn’t. And, uhm, I stood there for awhile, so…” He’s a bit embarrassed at the admission, but Alicia just laughs and motions for him to follow her.

“You’re not the only one, I can assure you. I almost wish I had put up a camera in the hallway, just to watch people before they knock.” She leads him through rows of clothing racks and low shelves with camera equipment, until they reach a studio area. “I’m borrowing my friend’s place for this, so please don’t touch anything.”

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FIC: I made plans to be with you (Kurtbastian, R)

yeah uh…this happened. /o\ oral, rimming, some masturbation. 1,3k, pwp.

“Hey,” Kurt calls when he closes the door. Sebastian hears the thump of his bag and his shoes, the shuffling when he comes into the living room. 

“Hey,” he says back, looking at Kurt for a second and then turning back to the TV. “How was it?”

“I never want to do a group project ever again,” Kurt sighs, leaning heavily against the back of the couch. “Never, ever in my life.”

“Come here,” Sebastian says. He pulls at Kurt’s arm, making him walk around the couch and get onto Sebastian’s lap. “I’ll make you feel better,” he says, stroking Kurt’s thighs and leaning in to kiss him. Kurt rolls his eyes at him but smiles and kisses him back. 

“Mhm, how?” he says, spreading his legs to get his crotch closer to Sebastian’s. Sebastian arches his hips up for a second, before grabbing Kurt around the waist and flipping them around, putting Kurt on the couch and then sliding down to the floor, kneeling between Kurt’s legs. 

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FIC: If My Heart Was A House - Chapter 5 (Kurtbastian, NC-17)

Title: If My Heart Was A House - Chapter 5 (Interlude)
Pairing: Kurtbastian
Rating: NC-17
Beta: bononoh
Summary: Kurt and Sebastian meet during the summer after high school and fall head over heels in love with each other. They don’t talk about what’s going to happen in September, when they’re both supposed to go to college. (Very loosely based on The Notebook)

Read on: AO3 or

Note: This fic is now complete and it’ll all be published over the next couple of weeks. I’m not sure if I’ll post all chapter updates on tumblr, though.