Howls from the heart of our sacred Bon Dance gathering. Japanese women and young girls, my sister and I included, were wrapped like exotic gifts.
Covered in ornate and jewel tone fabrics, skillfully tied with silk obis, into huge glorious bows. Kimonos gently move to the rhythm of hypnotic musical chants. Fans appear from nowhere, opening like peacocks, while making gestures like flying cranes. My ancestors would come to reunite, with open arms and weeping hearts, we welcomed the spirits of our ancient lineage of Love.
Komui: “Your mission is to find out Mr. Stellworth’s intentions, and discover the whereabouts of the Innocence his grand daughter saw.”
K&A: “Yes, sir.”
[ Later, at the mansion. ]
Allen: “Alright, Kanda… We’ll try that thing?”
Kanda: “Ah, good cop, bad cop, right?” [ Kanda smirks, as if he’s looking forward to the interrogation. ]
Allen: “Brilliant! This should go spectacularly.”
[ In front of Mr. Stellworth… ]
Kanda: *slams desk* “Stellworth, give it up! We fucking know that you’ve been a broker for the Noah for the past year we’ve been on hiatus! Spill it before I smash your head in!”
Mr. Stellworth: “Hiiiiee!!” D’:
Allen: “K-Kanda! Calm down, and have another cuppa, won’t you?”
Kanda: “To hell with the tea!” *tosses the kettle, and narrowly misses Stellworth by centimeters, as the kettle hits the wall behind him, and spills boiling water over his wallpaper of kitten cameos (does he think he’s Umbridge?) and very expensive carpet*
Allen: “It would be,” *takes a break to sip delicately at his tea* “in your best interests, sir, to give us what we want.”
[ Kanda grabs the old man by his collars, and glares at him darkly, threatening a great many terrifying things as his sword threatens to shave at the elder’s receding hair line. ] Kanda: “Tell us what you know about the Innocence.” // Onscreen note: Please treat the elderly with respect. //
Mr. Stellworth: “N-Never, you self-righteous church dogs!”
Allen: “After all, you wouldn’t want us to tell the press what they want, would you?” [ The light in Allen’s eyes flicker out like Komui’s motivation to work when immediately sat upon his desk, as he pulls out a picture, which in this tale, we will greatly censor with heavy mosaic-ing, as it would frighten small children. ]
Allen: “Least of all…” [ and Allen brushes a strand of his hair behind his ear, as the brief condescension in his eyes flutters out when Stellworth blinks, and his face warps into a very forced, Gentlemanly Smile™. ] “To your grand daughter, isn’t that right?”
Mr: Stellworth: “No… Where did you get th-that… I…” [ Here’s to celebrate a grown man crying. ] “Please, no! I’ll do anything!” [ And he’s prostrating himself to the very expensive carpet, now stained with unmanly tears. The narrarator knows people that would pay money for that carpet now. ]
[ Kanda looks to Allen, who’s still smiling, and he doesn’t know whether to be disgusted or impressed. ] Kanda: “What the actual hell? What happened to good cop, bad cop? I’m never doing this with you again.”
Allen: “Oops. I thought you said ‘bad cop, bad cop’,” [ Allen says with all the sincerity of a shifty car salesman. ]
Kanda: “Lavi’s never allowed to show you that movie again.”
Allen: “They totally wrote Allen Gamble based on me. Mm! This cucumber tea is simply delightful. I mean… Honestly!”
Kanda: “Just. Shut up. Moyashi.”
Kanda: “SHUT. It. Your face.”
[ Allen quietly sips his cucumber tea, as the old man spills everything he knows. As they leave, the old man warns Kanda that his companion is simply evil, and he swears he saw the image of the devil himself behind him. ]
“Serenipea” Fakemon by deidara-fuuka (now Cerulebell) @DeviantArt
I’m honestly surprised that we haven’t gotten one yet. If there was a worldwide poll on everyone’s favorite bird, I’d say the peacock would be in the top ten. A peacock would be a Psychic type, obviously. Have you seen all the “eyes” on a peacock’s feathers? Oh, and please don’t add the Flying type to the peacock-mon. Peacocks can fly, yes, but because of their large size they are unable to fly long distances. They’re more like chickens when it comes to flight. Peacocks look different with gender, and that could be implemented in the design (like Unfezant), but it’s not mandatory.
Another Chicken-based Pokemon
“Cockkatri” Fakemon by Phatmon @Deviantart
Blaziken’s great and all (my Hoenn choice), but I think it’s time another bird stepped into the ring. The above photo is a Fakemon based on a Cockatrice and a Basilisk. Both the Basilisk and the Cockatrice, dragons of legend, have the ability to kill their victims upon looking them in the eye, They share the same description: serpentine creatures with the head of a rooster. The type could be Dragon/Ghost, Dragon/Fire, or even Dragon/Poison.
A Puffin Pokemon
Pufffin Fakemon by JoshKH92 @DeviantArt
Could someone please explain why we don’t have one of these yet? Puffins are small, cute, flightless birds that hang out with penguins all day. What could be better than that? Like I said, Puffins can’t fly, so their typing would be pure Ice. Maybe add Fairy as a secondary type?