“Baby! I just can’t right now, i’m sorry.” Tony almost shouted at me, as he walked up the stairs.
“what the hell do you mean ‘i just can’t right now’ Cesar Antonio Perry Soto get your ass down here. don’t you fucking walk away from me.” I yelled at him as he walked back out of our room with his backpack and phone charger firmly gripped in his hands.
“well fine then, just leave you were about to anyways.” I sniffled, holding my balled fist up to my mouth, looking to him with tears lining my already black outlined eyes.
“I’ll get my stuff when you’re gone….its almost 6 you’re going to be late.” he almost scoffed, slamming the door behind him.
I sighed and walked into the kitchen, fixing my skirt before i fixed my messed up skirt, and slightly smudged makeup.
I grabbed my luke warm travel mug of coffee that Tony had woken up early to make me, and sighed, almost feeling guilty that i made him leave.
As i pulled up into my usual parking spot, as my phone began to violently ring with Tony’s text tone.
I sighed and turned off the ignition before i took a long drink of my almost cold coffee, trying to stall before i had to read the message.
I stared at the school building for a moment before I finally got the courage to open the text that had been alerting my phone for almost 10 minutes now.
I sighed and began to read the novel like text.
“(y/n) I don’t think…we, are going to work out. i’m sorry I caused all this. I really hope you can tell me we’re still cool, but if you can’t that’s fine. I’ll get all my stuff while you’re at work, and I guess I can try to see you once we’re back off of tour…it’ll be 6 months….hope you can forgive me by then…..I love you….<3”
As i finished reading the last few lines my heart shattered, sending me into a fit of sobs, I sat there for a few more minutes and attempted to gather myself, wiping the small line of mascara from below my eyes before i grabbed my jacket and slowly wade my way to my room, dreading the time the kids would start to come in.
slowly, one by one my first period came in, the girls sat down their stuff and went back out into the hall, going to socialize till the last possible second, the guys all sat down their things and congregated in the small corner, opposite of my desk.
“Yo! Ms.(Y/L/N) I thought you were gonna bring in Tony to TA today…he hasn’t been in in like a month…” Parker said loudly as he slowly ventured back to his seat.
my body stiffened up and I bit back the tears as i racked my brain for a simple answer.
“Tony…he ha to leave for tour today. he’s going to be gone for 6 months actually.” I hesitated, not wanting to admit that he might not be coming back to the class.
“dang it!” most of the class whined.
I slowly breathed in and looked at the board, beginning to teach.
“yeah, i’ll be back in an hour or two.” I smiled at the lady at the front desk, holding my half drank coffee up into the air,
“It’s only twelve I might make it, it’s only twelve I might make it, its only twelve..i might make it!” I chanted as I ran towards my car, saying it louder each time as i frantically grabbed for my keys on the inside of my pocketbook.
I finally found them and silently praised the school board for allowing the teachers to leave during their lunch breaks.
“i mean, he might be there, they usually leave around two…but he might have gotten his stuff right after I left, and then went over to one of the guys houses, maybe he’s waiting there because he knew I would try to come back.” I yelled, my voice echoing around the car as I questioned the multiple ways the situation could go.
I finally arrived in the driveway and yanked the keys out of the ignition, almost forgetting to close the door back before I ran towards the front door step, stumbling over my own feet as I went.
I nervously stood at the front door, clutching my keys as i sucked in a deep breath before i shoved them into the lock, shoving open the door,
“Tony?” I asked into the silent house, hoping he was asleep up in the bedroom.
I tip toed up the stairs and to the bedroom door, quietly pushing it open to reveal an almost empty bedroom, all of his things were gone, his shirts, his hoodies, his pants, his shoes, even all of his dirty clothes..everything.
I sighed and collapsed onto his side of the bed, the slightly dirty sheets still smelled like him, the musky natural scent he had after he showered engulfed my nostrils, a wave of nostalgia washing over me.
Nothing had really changed after the first 4 months of Tony’s departure.
It was always the same routine every night.
Come home, grade papers, force myself to eat, take a shower, pick out my clothes, then cry myself to sleep.
then the same thing every morning.
wake up, make the bed, go start the coffee, get ready, get my bag together, then leave for another day of work, and 8 periods of kids asking when he’d be back to help.
the way he left was wrong..I always sent him off to tour with a hug and an 'i love you’ choked out through happy tears,
not a fight and a choked out 'i hate you.’ through hot angry tears. it wasn’t right.
maybe the fans were right when they first told me he deserved better.
I quickly rolled out of bed and continued what seemed like the cycle of depression, changing it up slightly by straightening my hair and adding a golden leaf head band to it, wearing it across my forehead.
the Greek section of the semester was always my favorite, i always got to wear my flowly maxi skirts and head bands without being questioned as to what i’m doing.
I quickly swiped on my bright red lipstick before i stuck it into my bag, grabbing my coffee I headed out the door, venturing on to another day.
As I arrived, something felt different, slightly off, i might have been that I was 10 minutes later than I usually way and classes had already started, but it wasn’t a bad weird…but a good weird, like karma was finally working with me and good was coming.
I quickly jogged into the building, flashing my badge at the door before I ran up the stairs to my class.
I opened the door and a blissful wave of silence washed over me, the only sound in the room was a deep male voice, talking about mythology.
I looked up, confused for a moment before my eyes locked with his.
“I thought you said he wasn’t coming back for months ms. (y/l/i) (your/last/initial)!” Rebecca exclaimed as Tony dropped the expo marker he had been doodling Zeus with.
“Tony.” I gasped out as I dropped my bag, cautiously setting my coffee down before i practically sprinted towards him, jumping into his arms.
“I think they missed each other.” Lisa whispered in the back of the class.
“I missed you Tony.” I mumbled into his neck, my arms wrapped tightly around his shoulders as uncontrollable sobs began to stream down my face.
“I missed you too (Y/N).” Tony mumbled into my hair, kissing the crown of my head.
“Told you.” Lisa whispered again, causing us both to giggle.
“well you go sit down, ive got this covered,” Tony laughed, urging me towards my seat
I quietly sat there and observed him teach the lesson, amazed by his accuracy, and knowledge of the subject.
this continued on until the lunch bell rang and all of the kids left, leaving just us alone in the room.
he faced away from me for a moment before turning around, tears slowly trickling away from his eyes.
“(y/n) I missed you.” He mumbled with more emotion than he had before, his eyes locked with mine as I stood up, walking around my desk i stopped when we were only a few feet away from each other.
“I-I I miss cuddling up against you at night, the way you could never get still, and the way you talk in your sleep if you have a great dream, and (y/n) I just miss you calling me yours.” He cried to me.
“I always miss that on tour, but this time i knew I might not be coming back to it..and I didn’t want to sleep knowing you wouldnt be next to me"
"im sorry.” I sighed, wrapping my arms around him.
:You dont have anything to be sorry about…just. can i call you mine again?“ He asked, gently holding my waist.
"Of course.” I smiled before he pressed his lips against mine, smearing the neon red color that tinted my lips.
“I love you (y/n)>” He sighed, pressing our foreheads together.
“I love you too Tone.” I whispered, swaying our bodies together.
Look at the different pictures and styles, decide which one works best for you and below are different pieces and articles of clothing you can use to help get the look!
Remember: Don’t Worry about what will “look best on you”. You will look beautiful in the style that you feel most comfortable in and expresses you the best. This is the new year. Challenge yourself to open up to different styles and pieces you were previously afraid to try!
♥ Cardigans and Sweaters
♥ Lots of beige, white, pale pinks, and simple colors
♥ Accessorize- small pieces like lockets or stud earrings
♥ Dresses and skirts
Store for you: TopShop or H&M!
ღ Dresses (definitely!)
ღ In the winter- comfy sweaters, skater dresses, patterned tights
ღ In the summer- high waisted shorts, flowly skirts, tank tops
ღ Light colors like pastels. Especially light pinks, light blues, and yellows
Store for you: Forever 21!
♋ Combat boots
♋ Flannel and denim
♋ Graphic tees and band shirts
♋ Chunky jewelry and lots of braclets
♋ Even dye your hair a fun color like purple or blue! (It draws all eyes to you and you become the immediate center of attention, you also come off as fun and bubbly!)
Store for you: Hot Topic, Thrift Shops, Society 6
✌ Beanies and Snapbacks
✌ Vans and Keds
✌ Graphic tees with cut outs (you can do it yourself even!) and a neon colored sports bra underneath!
✌ Short shorts
✌ Knee high sport socks in neon colors
✌ Straighten your hair (just a suggestion!)
✌ Chunky necklaces and feather earrings
✌ Ankle braclets (they’re so cute)
✌ Varsity Jackets and hoodies
Store for you: American Eagle, Hollister, Wet Seal
☯Big varsity shirts with leggings
☯ Blue jeans
☯ Plain white tees
☯Sneakers. I recommend Keds
☯Gray sweat pants
☯Beanies and baseball caps
☯ Fun scarves to add color!
Stores for you: Urban Outfitters and Attitude
☮ Flower crowns, bandanas, and scraves
☮Wear Nuetral colors: Browns, tans, grays and blues with certain color pieces that bring the look together
☮Feather earrings and ear cuffs
☮ Big statement jewelry pieces
☮ Flowy skirts
☮ Two inch strap tank tops
☮ Maxi dresses and High-Low dresses
☮ Sandals and combat boots
Store for you: Thrift Shops, JCPenny, and Free People
▲ Bright colors (reds, yellows, oranges, bright greens, and hot pink)
▲chunky, gaudy jewelry
▲ Ripped jeans
▲ Leather pants and high wasted shorts
▲Throw overs and big sweaters
▲Lots of rings (get a lot at the thrift store- they look good and cost less)
▲ Leather boots and high tops
Store for you: Macey’s, Roxy, and Pacsun
❥Remember: In any fashion choice you must back it up. Wear it with confidence and when people try to tell you it doesn’t look good on you or it doesn’t seem like you, just remind them it’s your life and you will wear what you want to. Let 2014 become your year to find yourself and completely express yourself. You can even mix and match pieces from different looks and create your own, original style.
❥Send me an ASK if you have questions about any of the pieces or stores!