flowery blog

THE HEROINE APPEARS!
Head of the Royal Guard!

Quick doodle before sleep. Although I haven’t played Undertale game myself, I found it quite popular on the Internet and thus absolutely fell in love with this fish stick. Yes, I know she uses a spear and yes, I know high heels aren’t her style BUT do you remember this little quote saying “flowery swordswomen”? That sealed the deal for me.

Undertale - Undyne

Supposition

There’s definitely a way you’re supposed to Christian blog. 

I’ve done it for 4 years, I know how it goes. You’re supposed to have a screen-name that contains “grace”, “mercy”, “love”, or a fun combo of the three. You’re supposed to either a) blog and reblog exclusively Jesus things or b) not blog and reblog exclusively Jesus things and feel weird and ashamed that you posted a sick meme one too many times and now must compensate with reblogging the first 4 Christian typographical pieces that you can find in a row, just to be safe. You’re supposed to make your blog posts flowery and beautiful and metaphorical and tied into real life somehow and end it with “blessings!” and try your best to sound genuine and authentic, even when it sometimes feels like nothing more than plastic. 

But wait! What’s not genuine about the Christian blogging experience? 

We’re supposed to reblog quotes about radical love. We’re supposed to automatically favorite passages from C.S. Lewis or Francis Chan. As readers, we’re supposed to ask Christian bloggers who answer questions on their blog literally every question we may ever have in our Christian walk. And if they err a little theologically, we’re supposed to go on anonymous in their inbox and correct them- sometimes tied up with love, sometimes stabbed with malice. 

We’re supposed to. 

And to be fair, the supposed to of Christian blogging is subtle. It’s subtle, and it’s not dangerous, and I really think it probably does more good than harm. 

Most of the time. 

Some of the time, the supposed to Christian culture chokes. The supposed to Christian culture, a culture that emphatically tries its best to shy away from legalism and douses us with grace, stifles. It makes you feel like you’re supposed to want to “wait on God’s timing!!! <3″ when you’re 29 and still single, unmarried, a virgin, and ready to say screw it to it all. 

It makes you feel like you’re supposed to accept people’s prayers with glee when you’ve just written an incredibly personal post about how you’re scathing mad at God, complete with many expletives and a whole lot of heartache and not a lot of trust, and you post it and all you want is people to listen but all you get is what feels like a lousy prayer- a lousy prayer of “Don’t worry! He’s in control :)” that’s supposed to make the pain go away. 

So if it’s not the fact that we’re supposed to give up our human inclination to want to go out and have a good time without feeling guilty, it’s the fact that we’re supposed to feel ashamed every time we have a crush on a boy before God’s timing.

If it’s not the fact that we’re supposed to listen for an answer from God before moving forward with a life decision, it’s the fact that we’re supposed to love to try to keep “loving on” the really rude girl who doesn’t seem to want anything to do with God or grace or you. 

We’re supposed to live the model Christian life- the model Christian life of the perfectly imperfect model Christian life- the model Christian life of the “oh, hahaha, I’m so silly! I need so much grace today because I {insert totally human reaction to any negative situation ever}! wow, thank God for His blood! I’m such a wretched sinner! so dirty! so undeserving! by the way, love the sinner, hate the sin!!”- the model Christian life of “hey instagram! i’m addicted to my Bible and coffee!!”- the model Christian life of “so happy to turn 20 and marry the love of my life and travel the world and spread Jesus!”. 

It’s not said but we’re supposed to. It’s not spoken, but we are supposed to live out these things as our dues as Christian girl. The supposed to is a tax- the supposed to keeps us “daughters of the one true King!” in line. 

‘Cause we have to typography, we have to grace, we have to Christian music, we have to speak softly, we have to apologize unnecessarily, we have to self-flagellate every time we get the slightest bit of upset with the guy who stole our parking spot at Target, we have to marry young and baby young and Jesus and coffee and wanderlust and Bible verses and twitter bio of “wife. mommy. lover of Jesus” and we’re just supposed to want that. 

We’re supposed to. 

I don’t know exactly why I wrote this (or if people will even see this) but if I can say one thing that I’ve learned in the past few months of wrestling with God is that sometimes it’s okay to not do the supposed to

Sometimes it’s okay to take down our perfectly messy buns and remove our perfectly H & M meets Free People wardrobe and push aside our perfectly caffeinated latte (lol my only flaw is that i’m addicted to coffee! lol quirky!) and close our perfectly highlighted Bible and lock ourselves in our bathrooms and cry. 

(I think we owe it to ourselves to at least do that. Shed the supposed and let yourself be as naked and as ugly as you were upon your exit from that good ole’ womb…)

Now, I just wrote a paragraph about how if you do any or all of the things above, I’m not trying to criticize or condemn you and that you deserve the right to live your life however you want. I wrote that paragraph because I was supposed to make sure I didn’t offend anybody or call out anybody on their bullshit too much or even use the word bullshit in a Christian blog piece. 

I deleted that paragraph. 

By all means, be a cutesy Christian. Use pinterest too much, never swear, only admit to sins that make you seem as bad as Bambi’s Mother. I get it. No fault. No worries. Do you. 

But this post is for the girls who allow themselves to grow past the supposed to’s. This post is for the girls who allow themselves to be content with the fact that sometimes, God’s timing really, really seems like it sucks. This post is for the girls who are sick of random people coming into their personal tumblr inboxes and typing out reasons upon reasons as to why they are not behaving in a Christ-like manner, but it’s okay because “I’ll pray for you! <3.” This post is for the girls who don’t really like typography all that much and for the girls will sometimes say lmao even though it technically contains a swear word and for the girls who are fed up with the facade of it all. 

I don’t want to divide women. I don’t want people to pick sides; I don’t want there to be a war between the supposed to’s and the not’s. And I certainly don’t want it to come across as me being arrogant or pretentious or ~too cool for u mainstream Christian peasants~. 

But I do want there to be a fair dialogue. An ability to talk about things that matter without being silenced with Bible verses. An ability to express anger and frustration about the Church, about its members, and even about God. An ability to allow ourselves to not be the model Christian girls we so believe that we must be. 

Somewhere this year, in between being frustrated with Christian blogging and mad at God and annoyed with myself and hateful toward the world and my circumstances, I gave up on the the idol of the supposed

And I’ve honestly, truly never felt more free. 

- Akua 

GoT modern/high school au headcaons!!! (loosely based off this post; aka i had a conversation about dany in a bar and this just sorta happened)

-transgender/genderqueer arya; she fights with the boys from her neighborhood until they agree to teach her how to land a few actual good punches, she wears dirty sneakers, wolf tshirts and a snapback, hair cut into an overgrown pixie cut

-sansa runs a pretty flowery hipster tumblr blog on which she occasionally fangirls over the hot-but-douchey pop/r'n'b star joffrey, this goes on for several months until she gets just a tad too much into the social justice corner and realizes what a fucking piece of shit he actually is, she moves on and becoms more aware of social problems (which she frequently discusses with the gorgeous fascinating girl called margaery she met on tumblr who she definitely NOT has a crush on, jeez no she probably lives half a world away, no no no)

-jamie lannister used to be at the top of the social food chain, what with being the quarterback of King’s Landing High and a rich kid, perfect hair perfect teeth perfect body perfect clothes, until he said a few words too much about neddie stark’s plain clothes and old-fashioned chivalrous attitude, and somehow he got mugged in an alleyway once and beaten up… at least that’s what he says, but when the word is out that underdog cat tully, the graceful, quiet, but headstrong senior, was the reason his perfect hair doesn’t flick as nice anymore, both his face and reputation are completely ruined

-loras is like a gay rights advocate all the way, even equipped with a tumblr since his sister marg bullied him into getting one (she seems to be super into it tho, “like what is she even doing, who is she even /talking to/ in her room all the time renly i don’t get it she just always giggles and smiles at her screen like a damn moron”) and he is super out, but his bf renly isn’t out because it could ruin his future like financially and loras is a good boyfriend and supportive but also sad because he wants to hold hands in public (//oh look i made myself sad)

-jon snow is the hister emo kid who listens to the arctic monkeys and the 1975 and bastille, he wears white shirts with snowy patterns or wolf prints and black skinny jeans all day every day, can be frequently caught in the library with his best friend sam, nerdy fantasy enthusiast and avid gamer, one of them reading and the other staring about and thinking about life, the both of them sometimes joined by sam’s best friend-slash-maybe-girlfriend gilly, social outcast and teenage mum

-cersei is top cheerleader obvs, and even though now head cheerleader and quarterback of Kings Landing High are siblings, some still joke that there is a dating tradition to keep (wink wonk)

-varys and petyr baelish are the ambigulously gay duo who run student council and threaten everyone’s asses into doing their homework for them

-tyrion is a dropout who doesn’t give a shit and works at pizza hut, but still reads vonnegut and is starstruck when he, by chance, befriends one of the infamous school sluts, shae, and finds out that is kinda everything he ever wanted in life wow

-brienne is the first female football player on the team, the boys used to give her shit for it until one day she tackled loras to the ground effortlessly and sat on his face, which made renly laugh at his bf’s stupid face, which lead to him being so amused that he forgot to make the team run laps for warming up, which kinda gained her the team’s respect forever

-tywin has a big company of some sort in town and he pretty much runs the school cause ~money~ and ~my kids are more important than ur kids~

-danny is the weird kid whose parents and family died and her brother fucked off to god knows where, and now she dresses punk rock and hangs out with the older kids. she got herself three aggressive chihuahuas who bite her enemies ankles, and they’re annoying as hell but she loves them to death. she loves picking bar fights whilst her best friend jorah, who is actually kind of a nerd who just sorta accidentally ended up with her (lab partners), is like fuuuck lemme finish my beer first. also her fave band is imagine dragons, shut up.

-asexual greyworm because of reasons

that is all goodbye

anonymous asked:

what are some similar blogs of yours that you recommend?? Xx

Gosh it took forever to make this i follow like 900 people im sorry if i left anyone out!!!!! Everyone should follow all these beautiful nature blogs with beautiful urls run by beautiful people :) (and maybe if u follow them ill give u a blog rate idkidkidkidk)

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