flower bowtie

TIES VS BOWTIES ROUND 1

Darren looked at himself in the store mirror, a long black tie held in front of his neck. He swapped it for a bowtie and hmmed as he looked.

“Bro, what looks better? I wanna look nice at the party.”

FT and Vince both looked over and smiled, speaking at the same time.

“The bowtie!”

“The tie!”

Their eyes snapped open and they looked at one another. FT chuckled and adjusted the green, flower-print, bowtie around his neck.

“You meant bowties, right Vince?”

Vince laughed and straightened the the tie he had bought earlier.

“No. You meant ties were better, right FT?”

The two men full on glared at one another. Darren looked at them both before setting the neckwear down and backing up.

“Bowties are comfortable and classy! Explain the appeal of a tie!”

“They’re airy and don’t make me like I climb out of a British TV show!”

Vince hopped up on the check-out counter, much yup the cashiers chagrin.

“TIES ARE BETTER, ADMIT I-”

Vince was silenced by FT swinging his leg up and roundhouse kicking him in the side. Vince crashed through several different clothing racks before he stopped at one full on black t-shirts with smiling cats. He shook his head and ran back full speed, ramming FT with his shoulder. The clock man crashed through the glass doors of the mall entrance.

“That’s how it’s gonna be?”

FT stood up and pulled a small stick from his pocket. He began to twirl it between his fingers, humming “Hickory Dickory Dock”. The stick stretched out and FT switched to twirling it like a baton. He soon held his scythe in his hands. Vince looked at FT and sighed.

“Fuck.”

Vince jumped over the low swing of the weapon.

“Admit it, bowties are the better neckwear!”

FT swung the blade higher and Vince ducked. He took this opportunity to sweepkick FT’s feet from under him. When he fell, Vince kicked the scythe away and stood above FT.

“Ties are better and you know it!”

FT scoffed and rolled his weight onto his hands, throwing his legs forward and nailing Vince in the stomach. The snakeman keeled over and FT slammed his clasped hands down on his back. Vince fell to the ground, groaning in pain.

“Bowties, damn it!”

“N-Never.”

Vince mumbled out an, “Ah, fuck it.”, and launched forward, sinking his teeth into FT ankle. He yelled a string of swears, causing mothers to cover their children’s ears. Vince yanked his head, causing FT to lose his balance and fall over. He released his hold and they grabbed each other by their neckwear. They pulled their fists back.

“BOWTIES!”

“TIES!”

They would have broken each other’s noses if Mother Nature had not got FT by the ear and Darren snatched up Vinces ponytail. They dragged their lovers out of the store.

“You’re in a timeout when we get home, Metronome.”

“Same goes for you, Vince.”

Vince and FT were left holding hands on the porch. FT peered behind his shoulder to see MN looking away and he nodded to Vince. They released their hands.

“Ahem.”

They turned to see Sasalina, paws on her hips. They typed their nonexistent eyes and groaned, living hands once more.