florida lizards

florida gothic
  • you enter your local publix. lining an entire wall is carton after carton of orange juice. “50% off blood oranges, grown fresh in state!” says a smiling employee. he gives you a sample. you try to ignore the metallic taste now lining your tongue.
  • you cross lake jessup as you have every day for the past three years. you can’t help but notice a distinct lack of alligators in the waters below. your windshield is black with splattered bugs. splattered bugs, and also large chunks of green, scaly flesh.
  • you near the exit of walt disney world’s magic kingdom with your family. a smiling employee scans the chip embedded in your forearm and allows you to leave. your daughter was not so lucky. “the most magical place on earth,” you chant in unison, tears streaming down your cheeks.
  • the temperature is 64 fahrenheit. you don a thin sweater and comment, “it’s a bit chilly, isn’t it?” everyone within a ten mile vicinity snaps their head around to face you and chants together, “you dont know cold. you have never seen cold. i used to live in new york. you have not lived cold.”
  • there are no mountains for miles. the ground has no undulations, no bumps, no imperfections. your house is perfectly flat. you are perfectly flat. the world is perfectly, wonderfully flat. you laugh at globes.
  • “mosquitos are big this year!” someone laughs from deep within the bunker. you do not laugh, but instead paint another protection sigil onto the door with extra strength bug spray. perhaps it will help you this year. if not, the joker will make excellent bait.
  • the rain comes down in sheets at exactly 4:00 every summer afternoon. the rain stops at exactly 4:10 every summer afternoon. at exactly 4:11 every summer afternoon, you have forgotten it. the grass is parched, the asphalt baking. you do not remember the last time it has rained. 
  • a small boy from michigan standing near you points excitedly towards a wall. “look, mommy, a dinosaur!” she does not look, only says, “dear, there’s lizards in this state, don’t you know?” you do know. but you don’t remember them being so big, or having such large teeth.
Jojo parts as Florida man headlines
  • Part 1: Florida Man Dances on Top of Police Cruiser to Ward Off Vampires
  • Part 2: Florida Man Under Extreme Stress Forgets How to Stand
  • Part 3: Florida Man Who Had Sex with Dolphin Says It Seduced Him
  • Part 4: Florida Man Attacks Nephew Over Undercooked Noodles
  • Part 5: Florida Man Steals Clothes, Bites Security Guard, Flees in Gold Convertible
  • Part 6: Florida Man High on Flakka Rams Car into Jail to "Visit Friends"
  • Part 7: Florida Man Puts Dragon Lizard in His Mouth, Smacks People With It
  • Part 8: Florida Man Resists Arrest While Dressed in Boy Scout Costume

Brown Anole - Anolis sagrei. Watercolor on Paper. 2014.

A male anole shows off near Biscayne Bay - Miami, Florida. In a short evening walk along the marina on Miami Beach I spotted this guy and at least two dozen other brown anoles sunning themselves in the last rays of the day. Introduced from Cuba over 100 years ago, the brown anole can be found in extremely dense populations, and many fear that the native Carolina Anole - Anolis carolinensis - is being squeezed out of its home territory. Just six inches long to the tip of its thin tail, the Brown anole may not get as much media attention as the Burmese Pythons and Nile Monitor Lizards that are invading the Everglades, but they still pose an environmental threat.

What I did on my brief vacation...

Most of my photography is centered around urban photography. This past weekend I ventured to Port Saint Lucie, FL to visit my mother for her birthday. Camera in tow, I looked forward for the opportunity to shoot things that I normally wouldn’t find in the concrete. Luckily, I found another time of jungle, lush with these creatures. Enjoy!