florida clothing

Jojo parts as Florida man headlines
  • Part 1: Florida Man Dances on Top of Police Cruiser to Ward Off Vampires
  • Part 2: Florida Man Under Extreme Stress Forgets How to Stand
  • Part 3: Florida Man Who Had Sex with Dolphin Says It Seduced Him
  • Part 4: Florida Man Attacks Nephew Over Undercooked Noodles
  • Part 5: Florida Man Steals Clothes, Bites Security Guard, Flees in Gold Convertible
  • Part 6: Florida Man High on Flakka Rams Car into Jail to "Visit Friends"
  • Part 7: Florida Man Puts Dragon Lizard in His Mouth, Smacks People With It
  • Part 8: Florida Man Resists Arrest While Dressed in Boy Scout Costume

I got to put in my two weeks notice at my shitty factory job today and told em I was taking the afternoon off. Instead of working I went and bought myself cute new clothes for Florida and it was pretty god damn liberating. 


Little Miss Lake Panasoffkee, also referred to Little Miss P, is the name given to an unidentified murder victim. This young woman was discovered by two young hitchhikers on 19 February, 1971, in Lake Panasoffkee, Florida. She was fully clothed, wearing a green shirt, green pants, and a green poncho, and extremely decomposed, partially due to the hot weather. She was determined to be 17-years-old to 24-years-old and was approximately 5′2″ to 5′5″ with dark hair and brown eyes. It is believed that she could have been married due to a gold ring on her ring finger. An autopsy uncovered that she had been murdered approximately 30 days prior to the date she was discovered. She had been strangled - a man size 36 belt was wrapped tightly around her neck. It was also discovered that she had given birth to at least two children. In 2012, her body was exhumed and reexamined. This examination revealed that she was of European descent. A geological scientist believed that she was from Greece and was visiting Florida to attend an Epiphany celebration in Tarpon Springs, a town that has a very large Greek-American population. Her identity still remains unsolved.

So it would seem that I am facing divorce, and thus’ll having to leave my home of five years.

Long story short, my husband ran away for a few days, and when he came home he told me he didn’t want to be with me anymore. He wanted to be alone with the kids, he wanted a divorce.

I haven’t been able to find work in several years, so when I leave I a going to have nothing expect my car (that he somewhat fucked up on his runaway adventure to Florida), my clothes, this laptop, and some small collectables.

Since I’m going to have to find away to make ends meet while looking for some sort of work, would anyone be interested in emergency writing commissions from me?