i really want people to understand that british tv has, in two years, gone from a show called sex box where couples have sex in a box and then talk about it with presenters to naked attraction where people get fully naked in front of each other and pick a partner based on their body parts thus confirming what i already knew which is every tv show needs at least 10 flaccid penises to be considered a success
playlist: is this what you're like at home kenneth??
DEAR LORD YES.
1. Black or White by Michael Jackson
2. Dancing on the Ceiling by Lionel Ritchie
3. Dancing By Myself by Billy Idol
4. Go Home by Stevie Wonder
5. Shut Up And Dance by Walk the Moon
So, a bit of backstory on why this is the best ask I’ve ever received. One of my favorite students this school year was this kid named Kenneth. At the start of the school year, Kenneth had long floppy hair. We couldn’t get him to show any enthusiasm for or interest in anything. Then, his mom made him cut his hair. And out came Crazy Kenneth. I think he developed a fairly intense crush on me and my four other female co workers. He wasn’t creepy about it, he just turned into a tiny weirdo. I’d turn around and he’d be right behind me making weird faces. He’d jump into a classroom, do the bernie and run out immediately after. One time, he was in the middle of doing a Zoidberg impression and he stopped suddenly, did the Mockingjay salute and ran out of the room. We used to spend a solid 15 minutes getting Kenneth to LEAVE SCHOOL AT THE END OF THE DAY. Someone would send him down the stairs and then, five minutes later, he’d pop back up, pressing his nose against a window or dancing in the middle of the hallway. I think I shouted “GO HOME KENNETH” at least five times a day. There’s nothing developmentally wrong with Kenneth, he’s just DEEPLY weird. So we started filming him because…duh. On one occasion he was slithering across the floor in class while participating in a discussion about superheroes. My coworker asked him “Is this what you do at home Kenneth?” And Kenneth just nodded and slithered out of the classroom.
This is honestly a really tough question. I love both animals. It really comes down to what mood I’m in. Pigs are pink, and I love pink. I love their curly tails, their little kissable snouts, and the stubby trotters. Really, I’d prefer turning into a pig when I’m in the more humiliation, worthless slave type of horny. Being kept in a pen with lots of mud that’d get all over me, probably getting ridiculed often, and of course eating from a trough constantly and being made to gain probably until immobility and beyond, definitely bred as well. Cows on the other hand, I consider to just be more respectable and proud. I’m usually fine with regular people, but cow-girls really make me wish furries were real, in all honesty. The black and white spots, the horns, the floppy ears, the hoof’d legs, the huge breasts filled with milk, nose-rings, cow bell necklaces, sign me up! Sometimes depicted with actual udders, too, which I adore. As a cow, I’d probably still me made to get fat, but just not as fat as a pig. I feel like a cow-girl wouldn’t make as fitting of a slave than a pig-girl. As a pig, I’d be a worthless piece of fuck-meat, while as a cow, I’d be a big bovine girlfriend.
I’d rather be turned into a pig when it comes to super dark, humiliating sexual scenarios. But for more everyday life and cutesy stuff, I’d rather be turned into a cow, because even as a cow, there’s still plenty of room for the darker stuff. I could still be bred, I could have my boy/girlfriend brand me, and of course milk me, and there’s a whole other realm of embarrassment that could occur as a cow, besides the ridicule part of being a pig. Imagine milk starting to leak through my shirt in public, where everyone around would go “Oh man, someone hasn’t gotten milked in a while…” stuff like that.
TL:DR: Cow. But for more fatty, humiliation-based kinky stuff: pig.
I bet Reinhardt goes bird watching and it’s like, the one hobby of his that he doesn’t ask the young heroes to join in on because he thinks they’ll probably find it boring but D.Va wants to see what that ish is about