floor store

Highlights of family Christmas D&D:

- My sister’s paladin got in a fight with a panda coin-op ride, which was inanimate.

- My other sister’s bard viciously mocked a zombie until it cried, and then her girlfriend’s cleric tied it up and left it on the floor of a dollar store because she didn’t want to kill it.

- My brother’s rogue seduced an angry elf named Craigory who had been made to dress in a Santa’s-elf costume, and later stole him yoga pants to wear.

- They all fought Vampire Mall Santa, but due to a combination of more vicious mockery from the bard and really bad rolls, by the time he got down to half HP he was so demoralized that he just let them go. The cleric nevertheless felt deeply betrayed that Vampire Mall Santa had turned out to be a bad guy.

- The paladin very nearly got into a fight with a Brookstone massage chair, which was inanimate.

- The rogue seduced an apparently inanimate smoothie machine into giving him a free smoothie and also shoplifted skinny jeans from Hot Topic.

- The bard did damage to a whole horde of zombies waiting in line for the new iPhone by shouting that Android was better.

- The paladin kept running at enemies from a distance with her morningstar and getting up too much momentum, so she’d just slide on past without hitting them.

- The cleric spent a turn petting the evil demon bat endboss because he was fluffy.

- Somebody said the words “it’s a vore-vore-vore world” to the endboss, which would have haunted him for the rest of his days if he had survived the encounter.

anonymous asked:

Riddle me this: ch 14 they wear those new shirts out of the store (I assume)? Is this a thing, bc I'd die before wearing something out like that

Honestly, I’m a little confused about where they are - I can’t tell if the whole floor is one store or if every section is its own little store. Since they haven’t paid yet, I’m assuming that it’s all one big store?

In Korea, if you’re intending to buy the clothes you’re wearing, you’re allowed to just wear them out the store. You just need to pay before actually leaving, and they’ll cut the tags off for you. Is this… not a thing in other cultures?

Why do you keep trying to get free stuff

There’s a women who comes into the cell phone store I work in. My first interaction with her involved her kicking glass screen protectors and after reading my name tag and asking me how to pronounce my name, proceeded to call me “baby girl” and “baby” also I’m pretty sure she’s on drugs like method something legit.
About every week after that she has came in or called with some bs problem trying to get me to give her free stuff because “there must be some way you can waive the fee, I’m a loyal customer”
Last week she came in with her spaghetti strap broken and her bra hanging out smelling like booze. She starts talking 90 miles an hour and claims her friend stole her phone. I ask her “do you have our insurance” she dumps her whole purse into the store floor looking for her receipt. When I finally get a word in I ask if she can give me her number and I can look it up in her account. So finally we do that. No of course she doesn’t have the 6$ insurance. I tell her that if she needs a phone she can’t get a free one or one with the instant rebate that she would have to pay the full price. She loses it and makes me try to get into her Gmail to locate it and makes me call my manager to get a “free phone code” which doesn’t exist. Then she starts yelling how I should do something good because she has 3 kids and needs to be able to call them. She borrowed our store phone to try to call the friend she thinks took it. When she called and they answered she pretended to be the police department….. I told her that she should go to the police department and file a report with the normal office in the morning and I would suspend the number so the phone would be useless. She said “no maybe I can get a hold of him and work this out” Later that night the store gets a call and the caller ID comes up with the woman’s name, but it’s a guy claiming he’s from out of town but he found the phone at Walmart visiting family. I thanked him and told him he could bring it to our store or leave it at the Walmart lost and found. He insisted that I just meet him somewhere and was demanding a reward, he hung up because I refused to meet him late at night. So she didn’t have the insurance so she couldnt get promotional pricing. She decided to get the cheapest phone we have which is 109 since there’s no instant rebate. She once again turned down the insurance and was aware she could get a new one in 3 months when she was eligible for an upgrade. Today she calls screaming about needing to change her phone number. Our company charges a non negotiable fee for that. So we tell her she needs to come in because we can’t take payment info over the phone. She says we should just give her a new phone and a new number because the phone we sold her cracked and all kinds of scary people keep calling her so she has to change her number and it’s BS that she has to pay and she needs to talk to my manager about waiving the fee. She then tells my manager that we manipulated her into buying the cheap phone after hers “fell off her car roof” which is the exact opposite of what she told me. So she’s trying to get free stuff out of pity, or guilt? I’m not sure but OMG she makes me so anxious.

TlDR: crazy junkies lying to get free stuff then yelling at me because the system won’t just let me change prices willy nilly, no not even my manager has authority so stop asking for “someone who knows what they’re doing”

December 25, 2016
  1. Scorpio
     Listening to something for the first time

  2. Pisces
     Department store basement floor

  3. Cancer

  4. Virgo
     Idol magazine

  5. Capricorn
     Spicy cooking

  6. Taurus
     Batting centre

  7. Leo

  8. Sagittarius
     Ski resort
     Light blue

  9. Aries

  10. Aquarius
     Christmas tree

  11. Gemini
     Drinks coaster

  12. Libra
     Japanese tea
#1. Lace Casualties (M)

drabble. | #1 | #2 | #3 | #4 | #5 | #6

genre: sinfully suggestive mature content

characters: park fucking jimin

word count: 980

everyday problems encountered by the one and only sugardaddy!jimin.

a/n: OKAY. i know i said that i wouldn’t be posting any writing these days but i couldn’t stop thinking about sugardaddy!jimin and conversations with @noir0neko HA SURPRISE BINCH >:))))))

Originally posted by jiminguk

Keep reading

IKEA Adventures

@wherethefuckyisbucky: Request where matty and the reader go to IKEA and have a stupidly fun time doing stuff they shouldn’t be doing like running around playing hide and seek and “you know I can hear your heart pounding” “Shut up and walk past my hiding spot to make me feel better”

I’ve always wanted to do this

501 words. Enjoy xx

You laughed quietly, walking fast around the large IKEA store floor. Passing the cabinets, you thought there had to be a better place to hide, one that he wouldn’t suspect.

You passed the beds and raised an eyebrow, looking around. Matt had to have been done counting by now, so you quickly found a queen sized bed and lifted up the mattress, squeezing in between it.

It had only been about a minute, but you wondered briefly if you could suffocate down there. You peeked out, trying to see where Matt was while getting a breath of fresh air.

Matt was good at hide and seek, too good. You should have guessed that when he was too eager to agree to your idea of playing it in the nearby IKEA. The previous round had been played on the first floor, and he had hidden himself in the showers. But he had told you that while you had your back turned, he hopped from shower to shower so that you never saw him.

“Matt, you cheated!”

“That’s not cheating,” he laughed. “It’s innovative.”

“It’s not fair, is what it is,” you grumbled, crossing your arms and turning away from your boyfriend.

He snaked his arms around your waist from behind and kissed your cheek, making you smile. “You have extra senses I don’t.”

“And you have eyesight,” he laughed.

Now, on the second floor, he was ‘it,’ and you were sure he was going to find you. But you tried to stay positive anyway.

After a while, you decided to peek out again, cringing as you came face to face with Matt’s shoes. You dropped the mattress back down, making a face as you heard him chuckle.

“You know I can hear your heart pounding.”

You stuck your tongue out in frustration. “Shut up and walk past my hiding spot to make me feel better, Matthew.”

He laughed again, but you heard him walk away. When you thought he had gone, you started to get up out of the bed. You stood up straight and faced away from the bed, wondering where Matt had gone to.

Arms grabbed your shoulders and you nearly hit the ceiling, barely containing a scream. You turned around, heart beating out of your chest, to see Matt cackling.


“You were right, Y/n,” he started, “this game of hide and seek is really fun.”

“Was,” you corrected, glaring at him half heartedly. He walked over to the other side of the bed and put an arm around you. “It was fun, though.”

He nodded. “I smelled some really good chocolate cake downstairs in the food court,” he said with a lopsided smile. “Want to share a piece?”

You nodded, walking back to the elevator arm in arm. It was an odd date, but you were an odd couple, and you wouldn’t have it any other way.

(I wrote this in all of ten seconds, I have neither excuse nor explanation) 

Bitty/Parse (Kitty) - 1k

Kent’s been to this restaurant a few times. He comes by whenever he’s playing the Bruins because it’s close enough to the Garden to be convenient and far enough that no one’s going to harass him. Besides they make a grilled halibut and roast vegetables dish that melts in your mouth and fits his diet plan, so he’s a thousand percent in favour of that. The best part about the restaurant though, is the pie. Kent figures, really, he’s only in Boston once a year, he can afford to eat a slice of pie while he’s there.

It’s a small restaurant, the bottom floor of a larger store, and Kent finds a seat far away from the windows. In Vegas, he almost never goes out. Just when the PR people make him so that he seems more “human” or something. Kent understands that this is code for seeming less like Jack Zimmermann. But that was always Kent’s strongest quality – he can pretend to be a normal human while Jack just kind of…can’t.

Kent sits down at the table with his menu and gives it a cursory once over even though he knows what he’s getting. He looks at the specials board and sees that the pies for the day are peach, plum, and pecan. He mentally debates as a waiter comes to take his order, and then orders his halibut dish.

The waiter disappears and Kent sees that someone else has been seated in the booth adjacent to his. It had been a family of three, but now it’s one guy. He looks tired, his soft honey blond hair is dishevelled, and he’s staring at his phone. Every so often he looks up, looks around at the restaurant, and then back at his phone. Kent watches this happen for a while before he concludes it must be a blind date gone wrong. Maybe it’s worse than that. Maybe it’s an established date gone wrong. Either way, there’s no sense in two cute blond boys sitting alone at their own tables eating dinner, so Kent stands up and slides into the seat across from the other man.

As soon as Kent’s ass is on the bench, he regrets it. The man looks up at him with stunning chocolate brown eyes and tips his head sideways not unlike a confused puppy. There’s a smattering of freckles across his nose and Kent regrets every life choice because he’s fucked.

Keep reading

Seventeen’s reaction when they take you shopping and you embarrass them

-SEVENTEEN’s reaction when they take you shopping and you sit on the floor in a store and embarrass them.-

EXO’s version

BTS’s version


*lies down next to you*


“Jagiya, what are you doing?”


“You must be really tired jagi, I bet the floor isn’t really comfortable. Let’s go find a bench where you can sit on.”


“Why are you doing this to me?”




“You are doing this to me on purpose, aren’t you?”


“Jagiya, let’s not do this here. Please.”


“Two can play this game.”*gif*


“Jagiya… I brought you here to shop, not to embarrass me!”


“You are tired. aren’t you? Let’s go find a bench.”


“Eomeo(omo)! What are you doing?”


“Uhm… Jagi…”


“So this is how you felt when I sat on the ground playing with the Dinosaurs dolls at that play store.”

you: “not even close”

**i don’t own the gifs*

BTS’s reaction when they take you shopping and you embarrass them

-BTS’s reaction when they take you shopping and you sit on the floor in a store and embarrass them.-

SEVENTEEN’s version

EXO’s version

Rap Monster

“(Y/N) -ah.. Do you have to sit on the floor? We are at the mall.. there are benches everywhere…”


“You must be really tired. We can go home. Do you want me to carry you to the car?”


“YA! What are you doing in the middle of the store!”


he ain’t embarrassed, he judgin


“Remind me to never take you shopping again..”


“And they say that i’m embarrassingly weird” *sit’s down next to you anyway*


He is still a fetus, he doesn’t care.

“If you are tired we can fi- Oh okay. That works.”

**I don’t own the gifs*

Since it’s possible to plant grass inside the JojaMart, how would Morris, Shane, and Sam react to walking into work and finding the place completely overgrown (with the possible realization that the farmer probably had something to do with it)? (delete from all)

“And, Shane, don’t forget to restock the bread isle, alright?” Morris asked over his shoulder as he fiddled with the keys to the front door. Shane grumbled in response but nodded obligatorily. Finally, Morris found the right key and swung the door open to begin the day, but he froze the moment his eyes met the floor of the establishment.

“I– what!?” Was all he could really stammer out as his glasses nearly fell off his face.

“What?” Sam craned his neck to see over Morris’s shoulder and gasped loudly when he found the entire floor covered with overgrown grass and weeds. Tiny flowers had even somehow sprouted up! Sam practically crumpled to the floor outside of the store in laughter, clutching his sides as if it would help keep in the fits of laughter.

Morris turned away from the store and began to angrily fumble through his pockets for his keys again. Shane cocked an eyebrow at both of them and peered into the store. He only cracked a grin but he was secretly holding back a cackle that would almost put Sam’s to shame, even though he was now rolling around on the ground.

“This is all that farmer’s fault!” Morris practically screamed into the air as he jerked the keys back from his pocket. “I’m so sick of all their meddling!” He practically kicked Sam out of the way to pull the doors shut again and he jammed the key in again and locked it up. “Sam! Stop laughing right now or you’re fired!”

Sam let out a few more cackles then wiped the tears from his eyes before sitting up. “Sorry, sir,” he chided and stood. “Want me to go talk to them?”

Morris growled and crossed his arms, tilting his face to the ground and closing his eyes in thought. Finally, he replied, “No. The legal department wouldn’t like it. We obviously have no proof.” He uncrossed his arms again and stomped his foot hard, but it did nothing to knock the anger out of him. He let out a loud bellow of frustration and turned to his workers again. “Go get everything you need to kill and clip all this grass. You two are going to make this place spotless again, got it!?”

Shane knew better than to protest but Sam let out a loud whine. “Yes, sir.” They both agreed.

Time Travel AUs
  • “You’re from the future and apparently I fucked up so bad that there’s a darker future and you’re here to make sure I don’t do that. also you’re a jerk but kinda cute??”
  • “I went back in time on accident but holy shit i always wanted to hang out in this decade also how do you know time travel exists?”
  • “You keep dying so I keep reversing time to save your life but you’re getting annoying since you say the same things over and over again. I’m really questioning why you were so interested in that squished tangerine on the store floor.”
  • “I’m from the early 1900s and I somehow invented a time machine and I accidentally ended up here help me get back please. wait you’re my great-grandchild?”
  • “You’re an expert time traveler and take people on tours through time but I’m scared of doing anything because holy shit have you read that short story A Sound Of Thunder? Mitt Romney could be elected if I accidentally step on a cockroach.”
  • “I’m a time traveler who has a bunch of friends from different time periods and I wanted one from the 2010s but you’re a history teacher and you think it’s interesting I know a lot of first-hand history. I don’t have the heart to tell you the truth because no one thought I was smart in my life.”
  • “I wanted to make a parallel universe where you fell in love with me because you’re a celebrity and I’ve had a huge crush on you since I was 25 but wait you were that quiet kid in the 8th grade who was too eager about Shakespeare?”
  • “Your time machine fell on my car and I’m going to be late for my job interview so you better let me use it to get there on time.”