"fake it till you make it" is probably not the best world saving strategy, or even the best flirting strategy for what it's worth, but heck, it's all I've got. It works, sometimes.
My only communication tools are swords and spaceships. It's called a fight or flight response.
I saved all of your lives three times this week so please shut up about my "attitude".
I will be aggressively an aggressively positive force for love and selflessness in this world whether it involves baking space cookies or shooting a giant bazooka.
I wonder what it would be like to have one single good day in my life.
I am a simple woman. All I want from life is: 1. shiny things and 2. To take down a millenium facist galatic empire with an army of six people, half of whom are teenagers, a handful of mice and cat shaped spaceships.
The only thing better than my mustache is my ego, and the only thing bigger than my ego is my loyalty. Now let's kick some Galra Buttocks.
Can I ask about the UT/SF/UF skelebros best friend headcannons are?
They’d be great friends. Mostly xD
~ Undertale Sans (Sans/Classic)
~ Best science pal ever. He’s always super excited to talk about science stuff. Not super into science? No problem! He’ll tell you all about his recent stuff in terms you can understand. Alphys is usually too busy to listen to stuff, since she’s got Undyne and her work, on top of her own personal life.
~ The only person he trusts with his nightmares, and the truth about the resets. It gets to the point that Papy calls you when Sans has a nightmare or shuts himself in his room. You’re the only one that can help.
~ Platonic cuddles. He loves platonic cuddles. Just on the couch, watching really bad movies, making fun of said movie, and cuddling are his ideal hang out night. Warmth is always appreciated.
~ COOKING TIME! Please teach him how to properly cook. I don’t think Sans could handle another person trying to burn down his kitchen. Regardless, cooking together is a best friend activity! He did that with Undyne before she got too busy.
~ Sleep overs gallore! Movies and healthy snacks! He’s so excited to spend time with you that he just can’t help it! Honestly, though, you’re the only one that knows how insecure he really is. Please talk with him while you are hanging out. He needs an honest talking buddy.
~ Working out! If you can’t handle working at his level - no one can, really - then he’ll just carry you. He couldn’t possible leave his best friend behind!
~ Underfell Sans (Red)
~ How did Red even decide to be friends with you? Chances are, it probably happened when he was drunk. Thanks for not killing him when he was so drunk that it would have been so easy to dust him.
~ He practices his best flirts on you, simply because you both know its platonic and you’ll give him an honest opinion. It’s nice to have someone that’s not afraid to tell him like it is. He never got enough of that underground.
~ Red crashes at your place to get away from his brother. It’s a nice way to let things cool down at his own home, plus he gets to hang out with you. If he wants to relax too, he might take you to Grillby’s. He’s probably going to get drunk again. It’ll be like when you met!
~ Chances are, this relationship started just because Edge needed someone to teach him about humans. He was starting to get sick of the constant berating he received for acting ‘incorrectly’. As it went on, he started to view you as someone important to him. Lucky you.
~ He likes to have you test his puzzles for him, though he always removes whatever possibly deadly addition was there before you try it. You’re one of the few humans he doesn’t want to kill.
~ People who are mean to you tend to suddenly… vanish. Occasionally, you’ll see them around, but they turn tail and run. Huh. Wonder why they would do that.
~ Swapfell Sans (Black)
~ Let’s be honest, here. Black probably threatened and/or made fun of you when you first met. Whether it’s because you were somewhat submissive or talked right back to him, he decided that you were okay. Black doesn’t have a lot of friends. Most are only his ‘friends’ to get in his good graces. The fact that you don’t share that same concern immediately make you his best friend. Regardless of your status, whenever he wants to relax and stop keeping up his facade, he’ll kick Rus out and call you up.
~ He tells you everything, even things Rus doesn’t know. It’s not he doesn’t trust his brother, but he doesn’t want to give his brother anything more to worry about. You, on the other hand, seem to always be ready to listen and help lessen his burden. He’s not fond of putting his problems onto you, but he’s grateful that you’re there. You can talk to him, too.
~ Where’d all those people who made fun of you go? One of them was one you knew sort of well, despite not liking them. Oh? Why’s there a missing person’s report out on them? Have you heard anything, Black? “NO.”
~ He’s willing to go outside more often to hang out with you. He doesn’t quite understand why someone like you would want to spend time with someone like him, but he wants to work to keep this going.
~ He’ll never refer to you as his best friend. On top of worrying that it will offend you somehow, he doesn’t want to decide that on his own. What if he says it and you don’t agree? If you call him your best friend and he sees or hears it, he’ll be so happy.
~ Similar to Red, he’ll use your place to get away from Black. However, chances are he feels a need to reimburse you a bit. He’ll bring food from Muffet’s, probably buy a couple movies that now belong to you, and a gift or two. If you finally convince him that he doesn’t need to, he’ll still bring food.
ok so it's like 4am here and I'm up bc my cat's a jerk, but!!! i read Like a Baby Bird, and oh my god. I think it has to be the best Patater flirting I have seen to-date??? It's totally something I can see Tater doing (especially the 'can I borrow this' - that was gold), and I loooove how you wrote Kent's reaction. i adore your writing so much, thank you for sharing it!!
LMAOOO I can relate to “it’s 4am and I’m up ‘cause my cat’s a jerk” so much. Why is the middle of the night the perfect time for a Cat Attack??
I’m so glad you enjoyed that ficlet!!! I feel like Kent is the kind of Extra who’d fly across the US just to demand that someone ask him out. (He’s also the kind of idiot who didn’t realize Tater was flirting with him until the handshake line, and was then flustered over it for several weeks.)
KENT: Oh my god, he was flirting???!! KENT: HOLY SHIT ALEXEI MASHKOV WAS FLIRTING WITH ME. KENT: … It’s been like three weeks and he hasn’t asked me out. KENT: Excuse YOU, Alexei Mashkov, I am the best thing you’ll ever GET, you put me through all this and now you’re not gonna close the deal, who the hell do you even think you are– KENT: *buys a plane ticket to Providence*
Thank you so much for this note, it made me smile SO MUCH. <3