okay so imagine that after ransom, holster, and lardo graduate they’re like “okay so where do we live now” and like holster and ransom already agreed that they were going to move in together after college while ransom gets his medical degree and they realize that wow apartments are fucking expensive so they’re like “lardo wanna move in with us too so we can actually afford a place with a roof” and she’s like “sure”
imagine the shenanigans they’d get up to
- so it’s a two bedroom apartment and for some reason holster and ransom get the smaller room??? but they shove a bunk bed in there and can kind of fit a desk there too and there’s only one closet but they’ve been sharing clothes for years so it’s not really an issue
- lardo gets the bigger room with these fucking beautiful windows in it like there’s a window seat she likes to curl up in when it’s sunny outside and she sets an easel up next to them so she can paint in the natural light and she swears that her art looks better when it dries in the sun
- she also gets a huge ass bed that dwarfs her completely but she loves it so much cause it’s got fucking soft sheets and a thousand fucking pillows because shitty has a weird fixation on throw pillows and picks her up cute ones that have like a cat face on them or a saying like “i love my bed more than i like you”
- when shitty sleeps over there isn’t enough room for all the throw pillows and both him and lardo.
- also shitty loves little spooning it like with lardo wrapped around his back like a backpack he feels super safe
- lardo also likes being the little spoon. they flip a coin to decide who gets to be it that night
- none of them can cook for shit so they have a drawer of take out menus and they pull one blindly out of the drawer for dinner. they are on a first name basis with all of the best places.
- when bitty visits he is horrified and makes them stuff and puts it in the freezer. they have enough frozen dinners to last them a month. sometimes they just eat them cold cause they can’t be fucked to wait for them to heat up. they will never tell bitty this information.
- lardo actually can make a few dishes she had as a kid and when she’s feeling nostalgic or giving she makes them all dinner and it is so much better than take out
- holster is surprisingly the best at laundry and he’s not really doing much cause ransom has med school and lardo has art shit to do and holster has a pretty lax job doing the books for a start-up business down the street and he only has to go in like twice a week so he somehow becomes the house husband of the group doing dishes and laundry and cleaning the house up after parties and just on regular days
- the apartment they bought is in providence or near providence or something to that effect so they go to jack’s games all the damn time. jack lets them sit with the WAGS cause bitty is busy with school so he can’t use the seats and he likes looking up at the box and seeing holster and ransom freak out and lardo curse violently. they’re great additions to the WAGs.
- a couple of the older guys’ wives kind of adopt the three of them because dear lord you have take out every night? what cleaning product are you using on your kitchen you are going to kill yourself? you don’t use coupons do you know how helpful that shit is? so a bunch of the WAGs teach them how to cook basic meals and what to clean with and how to coupon like a boss
- bitty moves up to providence after he graduates too and opens his own bakery with a little bit of jack’s help (look i know bitty wanted to work for it but when you have a nhl boyfriend who has more money than he knows what to do with you might as well take advantage) and lardo works there when she isn’t busy cause she likes spending time with bitty and she’s good at it and holster of course does the books for bitty who hates numbers with a passion and ransom crashes there when he’s test stressed
- okay well back to lardo holster and ransom dream team; they have family nights once a week. they play board games and watch movies and go roller blading in the park (lardo is surprisingly better at rollerblading than ice skating and she whips their asses thoroughly)
- they get drunk sometimes like as a group and they get tipsy and honest and one time lardo gets too honest and starts talking about how much she loves shitty and she notices the looks holster and ransom send each other as she says shit like “he’s just so good at making me happy, you know?” but the two idiots don’t notice it at all which is infuriating
- the frogs graduate too and it seems like everyone else is living in providence so they move there too and soon the entire smh group is living in providence and it’s probably not healthy that they’re trying desperately to cling to their college years but fuck it they’re happy and it all started because of holster ransom and lardo moving in together
- years later when they finally move in with their SOs lardo tells holster and ransom’s kids about how dense their fathers were and how it is totally her doing that they got together in the first place because she is the one that locked them in the bathroom together when ransom was taking a shower and she leaves out the part where she had to leave the apartment because damn were they loud