Their meeting was a little less meet-cute and a little more,,, meet-ugly sort of thing.
Mainly because they both read the situation very badly and ended up trying to kill one another. Completely accidentally, but.
And really, can you blame Tony? Their ship does crash-land in the middle of a crowded highway, and barely manages to avoid civilians. Then they pop out, and they’re armed to the teeth, looking pretty threatening and…well… alien.
People end up calling (what’s left of) the Avengers- which happens, at the time, to be Tony and Tony alone.
Except the Guardians crashed in Florida; when Tony got the call he was in New Orleans at a science convention, and the suit was still in New York.
But he went anyway. Suit or no suit, he had to try. He was the only line of defence now, after… everything.
So, armed with a sophisticated watch-gauntlet and a gun he always kept tucked in his jacket pocket, he takes the jet and leaves to try and stop them from potentially, y’know, annihilating the world or whatever.
Except things don’t really happen like that, in the end.
“Listen, what are the chances you’re gonna do as I say when I order you to drop your weapons and leave?” tony asks wearily, as he holds the gun at the biggest guy’s weirdly patterned face and the gauntlet at the woman holding the largest gun he’s ever seen in his life. He doesn’t even bat an eyelid toward the talking walking raccoon or… the tree…thing.
Just another day in the life, at this point.
Although it would be kinda embarrassing if he ends up getting murdered by the raccoon. What the damn hell would they put on his grave? Here lies Tony Stark- saved New York, but unable to protect himself from the dangers of the Mighty Raccoon?
As soon as he’d spoken, about 13 different weapons were pointed in his face. Which hardly made sense, considering there were five of them and they all only had two hands. But whatever.
“How’s about we ask you the same? Except more forcefully, considering we got all the guns,” the raccoon said.
Tony rolled his eyes. “Where the fuck would I go then, what with me being a human being who lives here? Just fling myself into the void of space? And yes, tempting as that might sound, I’ve been there done that. Not as appealing as I would have thought, to be honest.”
The five stared at him in confusion for a moment, before what looked to be the only actual human stepped forward, head cocked. His eyes were bright and beard scruffy- Tony thought it suited him.
Tony also thought he should probably focus on the task at hand, and his ever-growing chances of imminent death, rather than how pretty his opponent was.
“You’re just a human, huh?” Hot Scruffy Man asked.
Tony raised an eyebrow, and then pointed the gun at him when he took another step. “What gave it away? The fact that I have the same composition and structure as every other human on the planet? The fact I look just like you, who is also a human?”
“What was the other half, pure asshole?”
“Actually… kinda, yeah.” The Hot Scruffy Man paused, and then shrugged. “Daddy issues.”
Tony had a brief moment to wonder what the fuck he was doing before an involuntary snort of laughter had escaped out of him. “Yeah- rode that train before, buddy- still doesn’t explain why you’re on the planet I protect, waving your guns around at innocent people and causing millions of dollars worth in property damage.”
The team in front of him paused, and then the man looked back at the green lady, who just shrugged and put down her gun. “We were told there was an imminent threat to your planet. We were in the neighbourhood, so we thought we’d come save you.”
Tony stared at them, contemplating. “Where are your sources from?”
“The fine NovaCorps,” Massive Bulked Alien Dude spoke up.
Tony squinted, running a hand across his forehead. “Am I… supposed to know what that means?”
“Fancy space police,” Raccoon told him.
“You seen any apocalyptic aliens round here lately?” Hot scruffy Man asked him again, slightly confused now.
Tony just sighed. “Nope. And if there were, I would handle them. You can go back…wherever you came from, guys, it’s fine, Earth is fine-“
“You? You’re gonna protect the Earth? With your fancy little handgun and hand-firey thing?” The Raccoon laughed, and Tony scowled.
Luckily, because he had been counting the seconds in his head since he’d called it, he knew he was about to do something really badass, and it wiped the scowl off his face, replacing it with a little smile as he stared at the stupid talking Raccoon.
“No,” he said, shrugging as he heard the familiar whirring sound of metal moving at hundreds of miles an hour up ahead of him.
The aliens looked up, one of them pointing their gun at the source of noise, like it would do anything. But in the space of a few seconds, it had already reached its intended target, slowing down just enough to not vaporise his body and wrapping around him, every piece fitting in a way that made Tony want to give himself a round of applause.
“I’m gonna protect Earth with this,” he said, raising his two repulsors and loading them right in the Raccoon’s little face.
There was complete silence for a second, before Hot Scruffy Man made a noise that should really, for the sake of Tony’s sanity, be kept in the bedroom. “That was literally the coolest and most attractive thing I have ever seen ever. In my life.”
Tony couldn’t help himself; he smirked and cocked his head Hot scruffy Man. “Sweetie, I appreciate the sentiment, but you’re gonna have to keep it in your pants until we can sort this out.”
Green Lady sighed, and walked forward to smack Hot Scruffy Man around the back of the head. “You know what we talked about, Peter- no flirting with potential targets. It’s in bad form.”
“This guy certainly hasn’t got a bad form,” Hot Scruffy Man- Peter- nodded over to Tony and smirked.
Green Lady sighed, and then turned to Tony. “Listen. You want to protect your planet. We want to protect your planet. How about rather than pointing our weapons at one another, we try and… you know, do what we set out to do?”
Instantly, the smile slide off Tony’s face, not that any of them could tell behind the faceplate. “I work alone. Sorry. You’re gonna have to l-“
And that was when the world sort of exploded around them.
Without even thinking about it, Tony shot forward and wrapped his arms around the two closest to him- the Green Lady and Peter- rolling them to the ground and hoping that the rest of his team, especially the more flammable ones, were okay. Green Lady yelled at the sudden-ness of his approach, but Peter just sighed. “Here we go,” he muttered into Tony’s shoulder.
Tony was inclined to agree, there.
Half-way through the battle, Peter AKA Starlord AKA Galaxy’s Number One Asshole asked him out.
Tony looked at him for a good four seconds before he got tackled to the ground by… (Dracula? Dracker? He was having to learn the names on the go, and his mind was currently on other, more explosion-based things) the Massive Bulked Alien Dude.
“THAT IS VERY UNPROFFESSIONAL, PETER!” He yelled, before looking down at Tony. “Are you well? I thought you may have been hit with a paralytic beam of some sort.”
Tony nodded, and then sat up. “No paralytic. Just your team-mate.”
Massive Bulked Alien Dude nodded wisely. “He does tend to have that affect on people.”
“What? Endangering their goddamn lives on the field?”
Massive Bulked Alien Dude paused, and then shrugged as he rolled off Tony. “I was going to say rendering people speechless with his idiocy, but that too.”
“Hey, that’s not fair, I’m actually clever, Tony, I promise! Boyfriend material, right here!” Peter yelled across the battlefield, looking over to them and grinning as he shot an alien in the back of the head without even looking.
“You’re a god damn alien!” tony yelled back exasperatedly, trying to keep the smile off his face as he jumped high into the air and then landed on an unfortunate opponent.
“Yeah- think of all the new tricks I must know, then,” Peter countered, winking as he dived behind a car and then threw what must have been a fancy bomb over the bonnet.
Tony’s mind briefly short-circuited at that (Holy mother of God) astute observation- but he quickly regrouped and fired a repulsor at an alien attempting to sneak up behind Rocket. “I’m gonna need a few examples before I agree to anything, sweetie,” he replied.
Peter laughed and opened his mouth, but then the Tree hit him over the head. “Ow!” he complained, looking betrayed.
“I have enough issues dealing with one distracted team-member whilst in the middle of a battle, I will not be dealing with two! Cut the flirting out!” Gamora yelled, as Tony watched her utterly destroy two different aliens at once.
“She thinks we should be ‘professionals’ and ‘focus on the mission’ when we’re in battle,” Peter said grumpily, wiping a cut across his face and then shrugging. “I respectfully disagree.”
Tony had to cut the conversation short again in order to swoop up and laser his way into the main hull of the ship that loomed barely even twenty meters over the battlefield, but he still had the team in the comm that FRIDAY had patched him into. “So what about Monday? You sticking around until then?” He asked.
Rocket swore at them down the line, but Peter just laughed. “For you, baby, of course I am.”
“Good. I’ve got a meeting with… let’s call him an ex. Be nice to have an excuse to blow him off.”
Peter whistled, “Oooh, want me to sweep you off your feet and declare battle with him for hurting you? I’m always up for it.”
“Much as I would like to see that, he’s kind of peak physical perfection. Plus I’d rather just make out with you,” Tony admitted.
“That’s fair. I want to make out with me too.”
“You’re an asshole.”
“Yep- welcome to the Guardians- we’re all assholes here. You’ll fit right in,” Peter told him.
“I am GROOT!” Came a rumbling voice that Tony could hear even off the comms, and he looked down in time to watch the tree grab Peter around the wait and haul him, flinging him up in to the sky with a yell.
It was a perfect throw, to be fair to Groot. Peter’s momentum cut out just as he was level with Tony, who grabbed his shoulders and lifted his faceplate, just for a second, in time for Peter to plant one on his mouth with a grin and a raised eyebrow, before he began falling again, right into Groot’s waiting arms.
Through the comm, Gamora just sighed. “Idiots. All of you.”
An imagine where penny is experiencing a boner for the first time and is running to find you and asks so many questions about it and what to do. (Im a slut for inexperienced!pennywise)
You’re in your kitchen practicing your cake decorating when you hear your front door fly open.Rolling your eyes,you knew it was Penny as he has never been able to get the concept of opening a door and closing it gently.Sure,he was catching on to memes fairly quickly but doors will forever remain a mystery to him.
“I need your help!” He exclaims as he rushes to the kitchen.
“What is it?” You turn around and immediately choke,your fingers tightening their grip on the piping bag.Icing flies everywhere as you eye the bulge in his pants.He takes a step forward,innocently biting his lip.
“W-W-What did you d-do?”
“I don’t know! I was just back down in the sewers and-..don’t get mad at me! But last night,I was gonna ask you a question while you were in the shower so I peeked through the door and-“
“PENNYWISE THE DANCING CLOWN!”
“Don’t full name me! I was thinking about it and then THIS happened!”
Your knuckles practically ached as you kept your tight grip on the bag and forced your eyes back up to meet his.How were you going to explain to your boy that he had a boner without feeling like a parent ready to give their kid “the talk”?
“Well! What is it? And why does it feel..funny?”
He cleared his throat,cheeks flushing a bright red. “A good funny…”
“This..this is called..” Your nervous giggle creeps up on you and he frowns,stepping closer again. “Okay,okay! This is called..a boner.People with dicks get it when they get excited.”
The corners of his lips twitch and he brings his hand up to caress your cheek.Curiosity setting into his eyes.”How do I get rid of it?”
FINALLY I finished this. This is actually an illustrated scene of a story by @voltisubito called Check Plus One! GO READ IT it’s adorable. Also I not only chose that song because it’s got perfect lyrics, but also because it’s in ¾ time and Adrien is teaching Mari how to waltz. She’s supposed to be staring at her feet/the floor but idk she looks like she is staring at their hands, which also works xD
UGH these two are just too much. Excuse me, I’m gonna go scream into the void and fling myself into the sun.
//EDIT// lol I’m so slow.. I forgot to add in their miraculouses :P Silly me.
Summary: Anxiety thinks that Roman isn’t being serious when he flirts. Roman thinks otherwise.
It was a game to Roman. Anxiety knew this. The flirting, the smiles, the not-so-subtle touches. All a test to see just how far he could push Anxiety. To see how far his limits were. Anxiety had tried to flirt back, once. Roman had only laughed. And so Anxiety played along, taking the role of the runner so Princey could play chase when he was bored. “Don’t you go falling in love with me.” He had said once, that smirk on his lips that meant only trouble.
Like most things, Anxiety had managed to fuck it up.
“Ann, darling, could you pass me the sugar?” Roman had his back turned, which Anxiety was eternally grateful for as a shiver ran up his spine and a blush settled itself onto his cheeks. Pet names. The bane of his existence. He wordlessly placed the container next to Roman and went back to making his breakfast, trying to ignore the way Roman brushed against him as he reached for the cereal.
“You know, there’s this thing called a personal space bubble, Princey.” He drawled when his thoughts were coherent again. Void help him, Prince was going to drive him insane one day. “Most of us like having intact.”
The look he was given was downright dangerous. A challenging quirk of the eyebrow. That goddamn smirk. “I’m sorry, dearest, am I making you uncomfortable?” He murmured, voice as sweet as honey. Another shiver trailed down Anxiety’s spine, and he pulled his jacket closer around him. “You only have to say the word, Anx…” A hand gently clasped his shoulder, and Anxiety could have sworn that it lingered longer than it should have.
He managed a grunt, picking up his cereal bowl and getting out of the kitchen as fast as he could. At this point, he was starting to wonder if makeup could melt off from the heat of his own face.
Of course he ranted to Logan about it later.
“I’m seriously this close to flinging myself into the void.” Anxiety held up two fingers, and Logan didn’t bother looking up. This was not the first time that the morose trait had said those exact words, and so Logan merely continued grading papers, as he had been when Anxiety first walked in. “He knows exactly what he’s doing, Logan. I hate it so much!”
“Breathe, Anxiety.” Logan reminded him gently, still not looking up. Anxiety didn’t mind, knowing that his friend was still listening, and took a deep breath. And then another.
Then it hit him. “I love him, Lo. Roman. I love him.”
“I… thought you knew this already?” Logan asked, sounding confused as he finally looked up. Apparently reading his expression, he let out a quiet “oh”, and gave the darker persona a sympathetic smile. “I see. You didn’t know.” It was at that point that Anxiety took it upon himself to lay on the floor, face buried in the carpet as he let out varying noises of distress and frustration. Logan moved out of his seat, sitting himself beside Anxiety and beginning to run his fingers through his hair.
While the action was comforting, Anxiety still felt nauseous. He loved Prince. Prince, the dreaded flirt. Prince, who was only really using him for a distraction. Prince, who was like the sun, warm and radiant and beautiful and dangerous. Prince, who could never love him back.
“Hey, Anxiety, did it hurt?” The flirting had gotten worse since that day, Anxiety was sure of it. Princey was using more pet names than ever, and he had now moved onto pick up lines as well.
“When I fell from heaven? No, but I scraped my knee crawling out of hell.” Anxiety grumbled, moving to make room for Princey on the couch. He ignored the looks he received from both Logan and Morality, staring down at his phone.
Roman ignored the new space, sitting right next to Anxiety with a soft laugh. “No. When you fell for me.” There was something soft to his voice, something sweet and fond. Anxiety couldn’t entirely comprehend it, but didn’t entirely care, either. He was too busy trying to keep his expression straight as his body went ice cold.
How did Princey figure it out? When did he figure it out?
He disappeared from the common room, sinking straight to his dreamscape. The shadows were there already, waiting, whispering. Anxiety dived for his blankets, pulling them around him to try and block them out, but that only made them get louder and louder.
Two knocks. “Anxiety?” The shadows stopped. Roman. Of course. Anxiety stayed put, hoping that he would just dismiss it and go back to the movie night. Of course, he could never be so fortunate. “I’m coming in.”
Anxiety heard the click of the door, felt the dip in the bed, but still did not look at Prince. He could feel frustrated tears building in the corners of his eyes, but he blinked them away, refusing to let Roman see him crying.
“Ann, hey, what’s wrong?” A hand gently clasped his shoulder, warm through the fabric of his hoodie. “Was it what I said? About falling in love with me? I’m sorry for saying that, I should have known that it would make you uncomfortable. After all, you’re not exactly one for love.”
Anxiety laughed at the irony of Roman’s words, the sound loud and harsh as it bounced off the walls of his room. “I’d say it’s the opposite of that.” He muttered, not looking at Prince. His cheeks were burning hot from absolute humiliation, and not for the first time he wished that the floor would open up and swallow him whole.
Being so focused on not looking at Prince, he was of course surprised when he felt a soft kiss being pressed to his cheek. “Why didn’t you tell me? Did I not make myself obvious?” Turning, Anxiety saw the confused frown on Prince’s face. “I thought you knew I was pursuing you. The others certainly did.”
“Wait, you were serious about all of that? All the flirting and the pet names?” The look on Roman’s face confirmed it all for Anxiety, and he immediately felt about twenty times more mortified. “Oh my god.”
“I love you. I can’t believe you didn’t figure out before, but I love you. So, so much, Ann.” And now Roman was moving closer, cupping his face in his hands and giving him such a fond look that it made Anxiety’s heart ache. “I am yours, for as long as you will have me.”
The sounds of children giggling and screaming filled the fun house as you ran after them and playfully scared them. Halloween was around the corner and you had just landed a job at the local fair working wherever they needed you,today being the funhouse. “Uh oh,I’m right behind you! Boo!” You laugh and gently tickle a little boy dressed as a clown. He giggles and turns a corner,heading straight into the mirror room. You step in and look around,spotting him nearby and make your way towards him before you hear more screams off to the side. This confused you as they sounded like genuine fearful screams so you glanced around and frowned when you couldn’t find the source. “Anyone in here,just so you know,if you’re too scared and need to leave this room,look up and we have arrows showing you where to go to head out,okay?” You waited for a response and got nothing back except for the sound of bells jingling. “Where ya going?” You hear right behind you. Startled,you turn back and look around. “That was weird..” you frown.
No one seemed to be around so you decided to head out of the mirror room and unfortunately got lost even though you followed the exit arrows. “Hello? Anyone there?” You called out in hopes that one of your coworkers,or anyone really,could help you out. Instead,you found a disturbing looking clown looking at you through the mirror. His eyes drifted into different directions,his clothes looking bloody and his hand holding what looked like a severed arm prop. What took you by surprise the most was that his reflection wasn’t coming off of any other mirrors,just the one in front of you. “You look lost.Take my hand and I’ll help you.” His lips twitched into a smile as he reached out to you with the arm prop. Surely this had to be a prank,right? There was no way this could be real. “Um,no thank you.I think I know the way.” you looked away and headed off in the opposite direction. The clown laughed as you picked up your speed; your heart was racing and you could feel a lump in your throat as you ran around trying to find anyone else inside the house.
Within minutes,you spot someone walking towards what looked like an exit so you picked up your speed and followed them,practically bursting through the door. “Fuck,that was creepy.” You sighed and tried to calm yourself down before noticing the lack of noise around you. And where did that guy go? You were literally a few steps behind him. “Anyone here? Hello?”; the entire park was empty. Not wanting to run into the clown again,you head towards all the rides and food stands,shaking as there is not one single person in sight. “Guys..guys is this a prank? Because this isn’t funny!” You cried out and gasped when you saw the same person from the fun house walk towards the arts and crafts tents. “Hey hold on! Where is everyone?”
That’s when everything went south fairly quickly. No matter how fast you ran,it was as if you couldn’t get to the tents any quicker and what made it worse was the stranger was gone once more. And there you were,alone in a now abandoned park. Or so you thought. Over at the food stands section,you hear children’s giggles so you make your way over there only to bite your lip in a panic as you find that it’s empty. You felt like you were hallucinating. You ran everywhere you heard noise or saw someone from the corner of your eye but no one was there. Everyone was gone and no matter how loud you screamed for help,the sounds of your echoes were the only reply you were getting.
“Still lost?” Your entire body froze. “W-Where is everyone?” “Over there,back at the food tent.Can’t you smell the popcorn? Pop pop!”
A single tear rolled down your cheek as you slowly turned around to see the same clown from the funhouse staring at you with a bunch of red balloons in his hand. He gives another slow smirk before all balloons pop.
“What’s the matter? It’s just you and me here.You’re not completely alone.”
Okay at some point Carolina and wash go back to the wreckage of the moi and go to their lockers and rooms. Carolina hears a sudden scream and rushes to check on wash. He's found his heelies and skateboard. Carolina groans and laughs
When Dylan tells them about the wreckage on Sidewinder—says that it’s still there, abandoned, waiting—Carolina and Wash exchange a look.
The island has been peaceful. Quiet, but not in a way that’s reminiscent of empty halls, corridors for ghosts to pass through. The wind whispers at night through the trees, but the cadence is soft. Soothing. The shadows are not thick with despair here. Rain falls, not in a deluge, but light showers, leaving the air fresh afterwards. Clean.
They like it here. They’ve adjusted to lush green, to damp earth and blue skies. Neither are prepared for the unforgiving, frozen hell they each left behind.
They both still know they have to go.
and then we’re skipping the fucking angst we’re not gonna talk about it
well actually there is this:
The trek up to the crash site is quiet.
Every time Carolina expects Epsilon to end the silence, she has to remind herself he’s gone.
soRRY!! moving on:
“No fucking way,” Wash says, voice cracking.
Carolina ignores the fear that grabs her throat in a vise. There’s no one here. There’s no one here. Still, her feet drag her closer, as though behind that locked door—bashed in by who knows what, barely hanging on to its hinges now that Wash has forced it open—is some kind of threat. “What?”
Wash laughs, and it sticks in his throat, like the lump that’s been sitting in hers has managed to occupy two spaces at once. “I don’t believe it.”
She steps around the door, and groans.
It’s his skateboard—and the ridiculous shoes he was so fond of.
She rolls her eyes. “Seriously?” You scared me, asshole. It wasn’t rational. But a lot of things about this place weren’t.
Wash laughs again; though she doesn’t, Carolina has to admit, his amusement is contagious. It’s good to see him laugh, though she knows it must have hurt, suddenly facing yet another relic of simpler times.
“I kind of want to bury them,” he says.
Now she’s laughing. “That is sofucking dramatic.” She wishes Epsilon were here to have heard that. “Besides, you hate snow.”
Their helmets are on—it’s fucking cold—but she can almost see the smile touching his lips, just barely there, cradled in the corner of his mouth. “I really do.”
“Just take them,” she says, tugging gently at his elbow. She wants to leave, while there’s still a good note to end this on. “You can teach Caboose to skate.”
Laughter stutters out of him once again. “That’ll be a fucking mess.”
“It will,” she says. “He’ll love it.”
Caboose accidentally snaps the board in half, but Wash can’t say he really minds.