flexible blog

So Mass Effect: Andromeda has several new and entertaining gameplay features, loyalty missions done way better than in ME2, planets to explore that don’t feel empty, a driving mechanic that doesn’t suck balls, side quests that feel like they contribute to the game rather than distract from it…

And all anybody can talk about is some minor graphical issues.

I hate people.

Concerned!Dad Optimus strikes again! You boyfriend is too punk, Prowl!

“So why did you kiss me?!”

“There…is a reason for that.”

“What’s the reason?”

“I don’t know yet, but when I find it you’ll be the first to know!”

Maya stopped her pacing then to stare at Riley long and hard. “You really are Cory Matthews’ daughter.”

Riley giggled. “Then you must be my Topanga.”

Maya’s eyes widened as she pointed to Riley. “There! Right there. Riles, that was really gay of you to say.”

Riley tilted her head to the side. “Isn’t everything we say and do for each other gay?”

Maya stuttered through her response. “Wha-uh… nn- look. That’s besides the point. We’ve never kissed before. On the lips. With tongue.” Maya felt lightheaded just thinking about it. She severely doubted that Ranger Rick was the one who taught Riley how to use her tongue so..creatively.

Rising from her spot at the bay window, Riley walked over to where Maya had frozen in the middle of her room. “I’m honestly surprised we haven’t done it before. With all the hand holding, declarations of unconditional love, and passionately staring into each other’s eyes, this should have happened sooner. It’s almost like we’re trapped on a Disney show where heteronormativity and happy endings are mandatory.”

Maya nodded, subconsciously moving closer to Riley. “I guess you have a point.” She wrapped her arms around Riley’s neck. “So was that your reason?”

Riley quirked her brow as she began to trace patterns on Maya’s waist. “I need a reason to kiss you?”

“No, not at all,” Maya said as she leaned in to capture Riley’s lips.