We’re doing this project for Environmental Design where we’re supposed to make sculptural pieces that resemble a letter of the alphabet (T, in my case), somewhat inspired by Fletcher Benton’s sculptures (as above). Through this process, it has come to my attention that I AM HORRIBLE AT THIS. I have had 20 minute staring contests with the letter T. I’d like to say I’ve slaved over exhausting every option, but the problem is I can’t seem to even THINK of the options. Where other people dove in and started chopping up paper and “having fun with it” (god I hate the phrase “have fun with it”), I just stared and then clumsily cut out a few Ts to stick together. Then I stared at what I had done and thought, well, that’s stupid, I suck at this. Then I stared at everything some more.
I’m not sure what it is about 3D that makes my brain screech to a halt. Maybe I’m truly not good at it; maybe my design-brain just doesn’t extend into the third dimension, and there’s nothing I can do about it. That’s what I’ve managed to convince myself, in any case.
But it’s possible, I suppose, that I actually CAN do this – it’s just the fact that I have decided I can’t that’s hindering me. Logic-brain chooses option two, catastrophizing-crazy-brain chooses option number one.
What’s most distressing about this whole thing is the idea that I’m the kind of person who throws her hands up and backs away from a challenge. I don’t think I am that kind of person when it comes to design, but apparently I have my limits, and that’s not good.
It makes me wonder how much generalized “creative block” originates in lack of self-confidence. A whole lot, I think. We want to attribute it to some mysterious curtain that falls between us and our creativity, something out of our control. Either that or it’s a lack of “inspiration,” which we can blame on the world – Inspire me, world! Why are you so boring! But obviously, the real source is within.
Creative types and designers, how do you get over these kinds of hurdles?