river song in every episode: ▷ flesh and stone (5.05) “When the Doctor’s in the room, your one and
only mission is to keep him alive long enough to get everyone else
home. And trust me, it’s not easy. Now, if he’s dead back there, I’ll
never forgive myself. And if he’s alive, I’ll never forgive him. And,
Doctor, you’re standing right behind me, aren’t you?”
Robin: Our mission is to make this wreckage safe and neutralize the Sladebots. Until that is achieved -
Raven: [strained] Robin, when Garfield is in the room, my one and only ‘mission’ is to keep him alive long enough to get everyone else home! And trust me, it’s not easy! Now if he’s dead back there, I’ll never forgive myself. And if he’s alive, I’ll never forgive him. [Pause] And Gar, you’re standing right behind me, aren’t you?
On a scale of “Justin McElroy telling Griffin that he should be able to use his History skill to answer trivia questions about history” to “Justin McElroy telling Griffin the slime monster has ‘flesh made of slime’ and should be vulnerable to ‘flesh to stone’” how unreasonable is your argument with the DM?
your players complain about a fight being too easy, consider springing one of
these unexpected threats on them. Your next boss fight should be accompanied by
something like this….
1 - His jacket attacks me?
This is a
guy is wearing a Cloaker, which appears for all intents and purposes as
a regular cloak with eyes running down its spines. Not only do these eyes make
it impossible to surprise the enemy (even with invisibility), as soon as a
player gets close, the jacket flies off and attacks!
Cloaker isn’t a big enough threat, consider making it a Vampire Cloaker,
or giving it a mummy’s Rotting Fist. Last time your player stands close
to anyone in a coat.
2 - The sword is a what?
guy carries two weapons. One is a conventional sword, axe, staff, wand, or what
have you. The second is a highly trained mimic shaped like a weapon. Instead
of making an attack roll on the enemy’s turn, the mimic weapon attempts to
grapple a target within melee range and restrain it before the enemy makes a
real attack. Alternatively it can attempt to grapple a player’s weapon or
3 - That’s not even fair!
guy has an Astral Stalker for a body guard. If that’s too weak, make it
two. If that’s too strong, use the stats of an appropriate monster, but make it
invisible and an elemental.
4 - Bigger Fish
my favorite game
This is it.
The final encounter. The players have prepared their spells, their
contingencies. They’ve studied the enemy. They’ve cast Resistance to
survive his favorite spells.
he’s eaten by a tyrannosaurus rex.
something even more terrifying bursts into the scene (teleported in,
breaks through a wall, drops through the ceiling, escapes its cage, etc). It
not only one-shots the bad guy to prove how powerful it is, it’s ready to kill
the party, too.
5 - Those Aren’t Statues
encounter room (or even the whole adventure) is dotted with “statues”
of men and monsters that are far too lifelike to be hand crafted. Naturally the
party suspects a medusa. Instead, the bad guy is armed with a Wand of Flesh
to Stone and Back.
party is in the midst of the most powerful petrified monsters, the bad guy
reveals himself-and turns all of the “statues” back into fearsome
the wand has just enough charges to turn any petrified party members
back to flesh before becoming an expensive dud.
11′s “Nope I’m not jealous AT ALL. I just asked you this question for science research…so how can you get engaged in a manner of speaking, River? WAIT I don’t want to listen to YOUR explanation Octavi - Oh, you two are not actually engaged. Got that. Cool. Stormcage hmm? Oh you bad, bad girrrrrl.” face is precious lol.