flatulence

The Fart Master — Le Petomane, the Fartiste

In the later half of the 19th century a Frenchman named Joseph Pujol discovered he had a very bizarre talent.  When he contracted and constricted his abdominal muscles he discovered he could intentionally suck air into his rectum.  He could them expel the air resulting in a comical fart.  While today many may look down upon such talent, Pujol’s special ability would make him one of the most famous superstars in Europe.

Pujol first began his act entertaining his fellow soldiers while in the army.  After his military career he began performing in small clubs and saloons while operating a bakery in Mersailles.  In 1887, at the age of 30 Pujol was invited to his first major performance.  At first his talents were met with skepticism and scorn, the performance of a man farting might be seen as bit lowbrow among certain circles, but his fame quickly caught on and he began performing all over France.  By 1892 he became a household name all over France, and was invited to perform regularly at the famous Moulin Rouge music hall were he took the stage name “Le Petomane, The Fartiste”.  At the height of his career he was performing for kings, and made a very handsome 20,000 Francs a week.

A typical performance of Le Petomane would usually start with impersonations, where he would reproduce the fart of a newlywed woman, a large workingman, a timid young girl, a powerful emperor, as well as everyday sound effects.  He would also blow out stage lights, smoke a cigarette through a tube inserted into his rectum, or blow wind so hard it would rustle stage curtains. For his grand finale would insert a flute or ocarina into his bum and play famous songs, such a “O Sole Mio”.  One might ask, wouldn’t Le Petomane be an especially smelly performance?  Mr. Pujol was an expert professional who irrigated his colon daily to prevent such an occurrence.

After performing at the Moulin Rouge for four years, Pujol fell into dispute with the owners and quit.  He founded his own theater company and continued to perform until World War I.  Unfortunately the story of “The Fartiste” ends on a sour note.  During the war his two sons were badly injured in combat and left disabled.  Pujol fell into a deep depression, so much so that he could never perform again.  He retired to the life of baker, passing away in 1945 at the age of 88.

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Discussed ‘round the office today:

Not only did Jesus fart, but Our Lord and Savior invented The Cheek Lift Maneuver. This is why he has that slight lean in that bit of journalistic documentary, The Last Supper.

“Blame it on Judas. Everybody does.”

Now we know what REALLY caused Judas to betray Jesus: the Son of Man blamed his flatulence on Judas just one too many times.

I have a long night of requirementing ahead of me.  I bet this gets much funnier after midnight.

Carly: *releases a 4 minute song of her farting into the mic with an occasional burp effect*
Me: queen of flatulence, passing gas, internal body movements, creating wind, the passage of digested air through the body etc. Invented and revolutionized pop music, created taste, class, and elegance. The epitome of art.

Anemoi. *burp*

The PBS red-letter message in the credits was “Anemoi”.

In Greek myth, the Anemoi are the winds, from north, south, east and west.

“Wind” definition includes:

Empty, pompous, or boastful talk; meaningless rhetoric.
And
Air swallowed while eating or gas generated in the stomach and intestines by digestion.

When Greg and John were teasing about taking care of Rosamund and Sherlock, one of them said “He needs winding”. As in, he needs to be patted or bounced to burp or fart.

Yes. Moftiss’ final message to us might have been “flatulence”. 😑

I’m still (ridiculously) hoping this wasn’t the final Final Problem. 😬

Tagging a few… @hubblegleeflower , @yan-yae , @ebaeschnbliah , @loveismyrevolution , @opttoremember