flat ironed it


Growing up, I have always hated my frizzy curly hair. So much so, when I was 13 I went and had a straightener put in my hair. I would blow dry and flat iron my hair EVERY DAY. Today? I still blow dry my hair as straight as I can and just so I can put a curling iron on it to make it “pretty”. There are many reasons why I hate my hair, but I won’t bore you all with those details. I decided at the end of last year, I would do all that I can to build my self-confidence–starting with loving my FULL natural self.

So, here I am.
No makeup whatsoever with my curly hair…it has some product in it just to keep the frizz down. No, I’m not super skinny. I’m actually really curvy. Loving my body is a daily struggle–some days I love my body, and other days I have meltdowns when I see myself in the mirror. Gaining self-confidence is not something that comes easy to me, but I want it. Hopefully, I can inspire other girls to strive to do the same.

Banish Evil Spell

Sometimes it’s not clear what or who needs to be banished. There’s just a prevailing sense of evil that needs to be expelled. This spell is most effective during the Dark Moon. An iron hammer is required, as is a flat rock, and either a coffin nail or an old rusty nail.

  1. Hammer the nail against the rock. The goal is not to pierce the rock but merely to score it three times across the face. Visualize what you are dispelling while you hammer.
  2. Bury the stone far away.
  3. Carry the nail in a red mojo bag, together with some crossroads’ and/or graveyard dirt.

(from The Element Encyclopedia of 5,000 Spells by Judika Illes)

My mom made me mad yesterday because she went ahead and flat ironed my little sister’s bangs. She did this without using heat protectant so I was mad because my sister is too young to be going through the trials of heat damage. But also, my little sister felt like she was prettier with her hair straight. I kept joking around and telling her I was going to put water on her bang. She would get all huffy and puffy. It broke my heart then, but today my mom gave her a bath and washed her hair. My little sister was so mad… by the time she was out the bath tub and my mom did her hair (no straightener), my little sister ran into my bedroom all fussy because she said she didn’t like her hair. When I told her her hair was beautiful, she got angry and screamed at me saying “NO IT’S NOT, IT WAS BETTER BEFORE!” Screaming until she started crying.

It’s so hard to get Black girls to understand how beautiful and wonderful they are. In this world, it’s hard as hell just to get Black girls to love themselves above the versions of themselves where they embody Eurocentric ideals of beauty. My poor sister…

Tips I've learned from being a hairstylist that I'd like to share with you:

1. Don’t wear your ponytail, bun, or clip in the same spot everyday. This can cause friction that will eventually cause breakage. Instead, mix it up by wearing your ponytail higher or lower or to the side. You could even try a braid.

2. It’s healthier to NOT wash your hair everyday if you can. When you wash your hair, you strip the scalp of it’s natural oils that moisturize the hair. I know you can’t always skip shampooing, especially if you workout everyday or your hair gets greasy after one day of not washing. You don’t have to skip shampoo too many days in a row, just try every other day.

3. Static in the hair is caused by lack of moisture. Lack of moisture can be caused by washing your hair too much, using alcohol based products (such as hairspray or mousse), salt water, chlorine water, using too much or too high of heat on your hair, or simply by not conditioning enough.

4. When you condition your hair, don’t put it on the scalp. Only put in on the mid shaft and ends. Why not put it on the scalp? Because of those natural oils I mentioned earlier. They’ll moisturize the hair near the scalp.

5. You only need to condition Every other day or a few times a week. Make at least two of those times a deep conditioner.

6. Chlorine can dry and damage your hair. One way to help prevent this is to get your hair wet before going swimming. Your hair is like a sponge, it sucks up and holds water. If there’s already water in your hair when you go swimming, it makes it harder for chlorine water to get in and stay.

7. Please use a thermal protector when flat ironing, curling , and blow drying. It will not prevent damage altogether, but it will cut down on it. There are blow-dry cremes and sprays out there that are just for styling and not protecting. Make sure it actually says on the bottle ‘thermal protectant’. My favorite is Redken’s Iron Shape. Just about every salon sells it.

8. Acne: There are several causes, hormones, stress, bacteria, poor diet. Zits on the neck or jawline are usually caused by hormones (puberty, your period). Those you can’t really prevent/heal without acne cream. Acne on your cheeks is most likely cause by poor diet. Cut down on sugars, processed foods, and bad fats. Zits along the hairline at usually caused by stress. Another cause of zits may be from bacteria on your pillow case. Wash your pillow case every other day. On days you don’t wash it, flip over so you always have a clean side to sleep on. Another way to keep your face clean is to actually clean it with face wash. Make sure it isn’t one that is too abrasive. Also, avoid touching your face a lot. Oils from your hand can build up on your face and cause zits.

That’s all I can think of for now. I’ll try to add more later.