flagellated

im serious about that “stop saving things for special occasions” bit tho like. even if u aren’t in your 20s. thats for everyone. its one of the most useful things ive learned lately

stop! just stop. eat the special snack. drink the expensive hippie tea. use the incense or the bath bomb or whatever you paid way too much for because you were feeling really bad and retail therapy makes u feel alive

when we save things for special occasions/rainy days it contributes to us feeling like A.) our day to day existence is lackluster and B.) you have to be feeling a certain level of Bad, or have to reach a certain level of Socially Accepted Achievement, to enjoy things

just give yourself stuff. there are definitely sometimes reasons to withhold things from yourself - as motivation, if it’s something you consciously want to use sparingly, etc - but at least for me half the time it just turns into self-flagellation and also cool things and cool experiences and nice treats just collect dust while i wait for some fabled day when i convince myself i finally Deserve it

just fuckin give yourself stuff dude. life’s so mindblowingly short

hey guys check out my webcomic “ohmiserychastitydevice” where i talk about self flagellating in the streets of medieval europe so god will forgive my sins of the flesh and free me from my life of suffering

Highlights of Eddie Redmayne’s Performance in Jupiter Ascending, About Which I Shall Talk Forever Now
  • His voice, which sounds as if he’s been guzzling crude oil direct from the well for the last six millennia. His throat has been corroded by sheer evil, and yet he can summon up a clear, intelligible shout when needed (”I CREATE LIFE”), which is more than I can do. As with approximately 80% of the movie, there is absolutely no reason for this voice to exist, and yet it does. It is nothing less than a gift from Redmayne’s generous soul.
  • The way his eyes grow dark and wet over…I dunno. It’s never really clear. Balem as written has absolutely no inner life, but Balem as acted has a soul of smog and capitalism. The tears are just his eyes irritated by his own internal pollution. 
  • He commits to those costumes. He owns them. Redmayne plays Balem as if he personally killed every animal that went into his endless black-leather wardrobe. He plays Balem as if he’s always on a catwalk for the latest in space-S&M fashion, and he’s the only model. 
  • The way his face is stuck in a constant grimace. He is made of contempt: for his lackeys, for his family, for everything. He hates himself so much that he follows the absurdly byzantine laws of his universe as a form of self-flagellation. (The Aegis is so laughably ineffectual and the Abrasax family so immanently powerful that there is absolutely no reason for Balem to obey the laws if he didn’t want to.) The only thing he likes is pain. The constant aching facial muscles must be part of that.
  • Balem gestures with the precision of a dancer and walks with the stiff disapproval of a Victorian matron. How is it possible for someone to look like they have a broomstick up their butt and yet ooze around the set like an oil slick? Eddie Redmayne is a divine being. Let us now praise him.
  • I honestly don’t think there is any one component of the performance that could be called Good Acting, but put them all together and Balem becomes a top-tier sci-fi villain. Redmayne got the Oscar for the wrong movie.

casual reminder that over a period of 3 years tim drake dealt with a shitton of psychological trauma and PTSD and didn’t get any help from anyone because of bruce’s unspoken ideals about how emotion shouldn’t get in the way of work so tim repressed all of his multitudes of issues surrounding the death of all of his loved ones and being left (by bruce) responsible for an entire city at the age of 14 before having to hang up the cowl because his dad found out and then had to deal with his father dying because he was robin.
and then right after he let bruce adopt him, damian came into the picture and tried to kill him, before saying that he would never be bruce’s true son
not to mention that just when tim started to actually process his grief (2 years later) and talk to people about his ptsd three out of the four people he loved came back from the dead and he found out his girlfriend lied about being dead and two of his best friends came back during a battle in which his mentor was killed.
and then directly after that dick, the person he trusted more than anyone, basically ended his career as robin because damian needed it more, so he lost his entire support system when he needed it most and went on a self-flagellating mission to prove bruce wasn’t dead and no one believed him

and then once tim FINALLY started getting better after bruce came back, the fuckig universe RESET itself so he got!!! no catharsis whatsoever!! and the n52 butchered his character!!!!!!!

tl;dr i love tim drake a lot and dc treated him like SHIT in the n52 and people don’t appreciate his character enough

hey do u ever think about the fact that the 4/5 of the gang was thrown into the brig for various sins (lust, wrath, gluttony) against their will but mac, who’s always been the most aggressively self-flagellating and ardently religious, just walked right in. he strolled in saying ‘well, i’m gay’ for the very first time in his nearly 40 years of living, into a space which arguably exists as a metaphor for hell (given physical location of the brig as well as nature of the ship and recurring themes of the gang goes to hell episodes) and he did it without a care! after so many years of self-hatred and repression the first time he says ‘i’m gay’ out loud is nonchalant and relaxed! he just wanted to hang! and that’s enough to outweigh the years of religious anxiety he’s kept inside himself! and however temporary it is this is SUCH an important character development for mac because while the arguably atheist gang gets thrown into hell against their will, for a brief, blissful moment, mac is so contented with being himself that he willingly walks into hell because he’s not afraid anymore and anyways yeah i think about that a lot

also like TO be honest its very bizarre and alarming that so many people willingly subject themselves to this type of moralistic superior pissing contests where in order to engage with “problematic” media they must either continuously self flagellate or lash out at others because like.. i have ocd and ive been spending literally the past two years working on no longer doing this because it is horrible for my mental health and actively prevents me from having any leisure time whatsoever and its just like. the expected mindset on here. like if youre not doing this youre a bad person 

melaniefluffilie  asked:

Hello!! Can you please update the possessive!derek tag pleassee?? Thank you!

yw

What a pair we make by tugela54 (4/4 | 16,095 | NC17)

When Stiles’ boss unexpectedly goes into rut, he offers himself to the lycan, knowing all too well how utterly terrifying it can be.

Will his gamble pay off, or ruin everything…?

The mating ceremony by Amare_fanfic2000 (1/1 | 1,980 | G)

The mating ceremony was held once a year, stiles however was having a bad year. Becoming an omega instead of a beta and now he was stuck in the middle of a wood surrounded by an alpha

Shovels and Dirt by buckyno (3/? | 20,709 | R)

The nogitsune’s power doesn’t leave Stiles after the spirit is defeated. No, it seems Stiles was changing and knowing what that darkness did to his friends he refuses to put them in danger again. He leaves without a word. Now in a new city with not quite new friends Stiles realizes no one can run forever. Because family doesn’t back down and also, yeah, that fuckin’ tree really is talking to him.

tropes galore by haleofStilesheart (1/1 | 6,327 | NC17)

It’s just sexual, it’s just sexual. It doesn’t mean anything.
Derek repeated it over and over in his head like a masochistic mantra, gritting his teeth and clenching the steering wheel dangerously tight. Just sexual. Doesn’t mean anything.
But his self-flagellating thoughts couldn’t drown out the memory of Stiles’ husky moans; his breathy sighs; the soft, almost inaudible gasp he had made as he’d come, calling out Derek’s name.

A mate in distress by Bookemdanno98 (1/1 | 5,385 | PG13)

When Stiles is late for a Pack meeting, Derek and the pack grow concerned. Derek decides he can’t stand around while his mate, the man he had been in love with since he set eyes on, could be in danger. And so he sets off in search for his mate. What will he find? He doesn’t know, but what he does know is that he has to find his mate, before its too late.

Didn’t know I needed you, until I found you by TheMoaningMyrtle (4/? | 11,122 | NC17)

While Stiles is on his morning run, he bumps into a huge, black wolf.
Stiles didn’t know that it would change his life for good.

The wolf rolls its eyes; well- Stiles thinks that it did.
“Well, sorry that I asked! Jeez.” Stiles snorts.
“Isn’t it obvious…?”
Stiles frowns and stares at the wolf.
“Wha- did you- you talked to me just now! That’s awesome! Can every werewolf do that?” Stiles grins excitedly.
The wolf freezes, its eyes widening comically and it stared at Stiles for a long time, until saying:
“You- you can hear me?” The wolf asks.

Julie: "Once we decided [Stefan's death], it felt so pure and right and we knew it was the road to go."

Stefan died in the most abhorrent, unnecessary, and cruel way possible. He died so Damon could life out his human fairytale with Elena.  In JP’s/KW's twisted minds they saw this is some sort of poetic redemption in making Damon turn in 1864 … but STEFAN needs to die for a selfish decision he made when he was just seventeen? This one choice needs to follow him around his entire life regardless of much he’s changed, cared, or worked to redeem himself  just ‘cause Damon must never be held responsible for anything?

This is not story-telling. This is complete character assassination. For years Stefan was slowly sliding to the wayside in favor of Damon, giving him all the story and essentially becoming a prop to his arcs/relationship with Elena. Stefan was losing agency more and more. By S8, it was all over for him. They went OUT OF THEIR WAY to portray Ripper Stefan as the “bad brother”, punishing him for killing Enzo while Damon got forgiven right away for killing Tyler and even had the fucking audacity to make Damon forgive HIM when’s Stefan’s been cleaning up after his brother’s messes basically his entire existence. In 8x16, he was the death. So shocked.

Damon should’ve been the death, not Stefan. Stefan might’ve forced him to turn, but everything after that was all Damon.  DAMON. MADE.HIS.OWN. CHOICES. He made the choice to be manipulative, evil, and torture others. He spent so much longer not giving a damn about anyone except himself while Stefan was battling bloodlust and trying to be good. Damon resented Stefan and blamed Katherine for who he was, never taking accountability for anything and when he finally did everyone else wouldn’t let him. Damon should’ve sacrificed himself for good like he tried to because then there would be accountability and his redemption story might’ve actually meant something. Instead they nerfed Stefan to appease the Damon fangirls/DE shippers and that’s just so dirty.

This is exactly what happens when a character gets too popular. The writers cater too much to the fans, disrupting focus on other characters and it RUINS THE SHOW. This has happened so many times before on other TV shows and TVD w/ Damon is by far the worst I’ve seen.

Our baby Stefan deserved so much better than sacrificing himself for a fuck-up of a brother who quite literally gave him an “eternity of misery”. KW/JP did a complete disservice to him and this show and I’ll never forgive them for it.

Let us all remember Stefan Salvatore. The selfless, noble, compassionate, self-flagellating hero who had such little value of himself he died thinking he didn’t deserve happiness and that Damon was the better man. He was precious and beautiful and this world these writers didn’t deserve him.

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To Speak

To my dearest Nonny, I hope you are smiling, I hope you find happiness- I am still here if you need me. All of us here are family you can count on. 

PLEASE NOTE THAT I HAVE INCLUDED SOME FAIRLY HEAVY STUTTERING TO MC’S SPEECH AND I AM NOT TRYING TO MOCK ANYONE. 

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Break Me (4/?)

Summary: Y/N has been noticing a shift in her relationship with Bucky. A confrontation sets off a chain reaction nobody could see coming.

Relationship/Characters: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Warnings: Angst & Heartbreak.  

A/N: This is for @sexylibrarian1. There is a considerable time jump since the last chapter. 

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Masterlist

Originally posted by coporolight

Chapter 4

Bucky never spoke of Y/N in front of the others, but Steve knew better. There was nothing Bucky’s mind loved more than to torment him with memories of Y/N. Eventually the rest of the team learned not to ask Bucky about Y/N. Yet Steve knew she was at the forefront of Bucky’s mind. 

It was hard for everyone to witness Bucky backtracking, not knowing how to help. 

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If You Get Lost, You Can Always Be Found

If You Get Lost, You Can Always Be Found by WinJennster
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: 25,400
Summary: Days after I’m No Angel, Castiel finds himself exiled from the safety of the bunker. The money Dean gives him runs out all too soon. Luck, or perhaps divine providence, lands him on the Amish farm of Jacob and Lydia Bieler. The Bielers take Cas in. Despite the Amish’s general distrust of outsiders - Englischers - the strange man who can understand their language and isn’t afraid of hard work seems a natural fit amongst them. Castiel thinks he might just go ahead and stay - the farm seems like a good place to heal his broken heart, and maybe forget who broke it.
Meanwhile, Dean finds himself so wracked with guilt, he can’t stand to see his own face in the mirror. He doesn’t know what’s worse; the fact that he threw Cas away or that Sam’s unwillingly - and unwittingly - possessed by an angel. Charlie comes for a visit and decides to stay, and it takes her no time at all to call Dean on his bullshit. With her help and encouragement and a plan to deal with the angel in Sam later, Dean and Charlie set out to find Cas and bring him home. But when they find him, Dean’s surprised that Cas doesn’t want to come home, leaving Dean to face some difficult truths about himself - and how he feels about Castiel.


This, THIS is the Castiel I fell for in Seasons 4 and 5. He is stoic and brave, earnest and contained. He has been seasoned by time on his own, away from family and friends. He has known hardship, but isn’t completely broken. Even without his grace, he still has the knowledge of the ages and a kindness of heart that brings him to the attention of an older Amish couple.  And Dean, you desperate, self-flagellating mama bear with the self esteem of a carrot. Thank god you have friends like Charlie who know how to see through you and help you realize what it is you really need. 

This story diverges after 9x04 with Charlie staying with Dean and Sam instead of going to Oz, and that makes all the difference.  The author is known for their AUs, yet this canon tale shows her deep understanding of Dean and especially Castiel’s character. There is pining, there are fuck ups, but there are also moments that made me chuckle and smile. I really enjoyed this gentle, heartfelt story. 


Fanworks inspired by this fanfic at destielfanworks (other fanworks by title)

If you enjoyed the fic, please drop by the archive (AO3) and let the author know with your comments and/or kudos!

A Shell Call Away ----(YES!)

Watching the clip of Emma sitting on her front steps holding Killian’s shell necklace from the preview for 6x15, I remembered reading or seeing a picture that Colin has filmed a scene with Jasmine, I believe, on a beach and was holding a seashell.  I’m hopeful that he will be able to get word to her via a shell call. My wish is it goes something like this. 

words ~ 1500

They say you should never make big changes right after a major loss and after a few drinks with her mother and Regina, Emma had to agree.  She had originally been upset when the call had ended up being a false alarm just to get her out of the house, but seeing a slightly tipsy Snow had been good for a few laughs and being away from the memories in the house for a while had allowed her more rational side to return.  Unsure what had caused the girl that she had been in the past to return the last few days, she was now determined to relocate the woman she had become.  The woman who had turned Killian into a dark one against his will to keep from losing him.  And the woman who hadn’t accepted his death, following him to the underworld to bring him home.   A woman willing to fight for that white picket fence life that was within her grasp.  

Walking into the house, she flipped on the lights and noticed that not only had Henry forgotten to put his shoes away but he had also forgotten to take the sea chest out to the shed.  Sitting on the sofa she pushed up the lid and lifted out the chain holding Liam’s ring.  Memories of Camelot and how when Killian had given it to her with a “calm down Swan, I’m not proposing,” she had felt both relief and disappointment.  Not only had the darkness had hold of her emotions but so had fear.  But slowly his patience and love had helped her have confidence enough in herself to lower her walls until he had proposed and that had been the happiest day of her life.  

But like so many other instances in her life, a single moment in time and a few words best left unspoken had reached inside of her awakening that little lost girl.  The one who always dreamt of a home and a family but never thought she was good enough to deserve one.  And when she had walked by and noticed Killian sitting in front of the fireplace with his memories, her insecurities had taken over her voice and accused him of not trusting her.  Of not trusting that their love was strong enough that together they would be able to overcome anything.  This time though her accusations on top of his self- flagellation over the past had brought forth more pain then she knew how to handle.  

Leaning back on the settee, with Liam’s ring clutched tightly between her hands, she let the memories wash over her. The memories of the night she had been searching for answers in Killian’s things - no - if she were really honest with herself, snooping for answers in Killian’s things - and had discovered the engagement ring, she had been so excited that she may not have given Killian the opportunity to say everything he wanted to say.  Remembering the look on his face when she had made the quip about him drinking Captain Morgan, and then his words, “I’m afraid it wouldn’t give me the courage that I need.” Had she misunderstood and he hadn’t been going to propose right then, but had been going to tell her what happened?  Feeling the tears well up she closed ther eyes and let the call of sleep carry her away. 

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i think my main question to antis when they throw around all the bad shit snape does is: what is enough?

for every bad thing snape has done, he’s been punished a hundredfold. said mudblood? lost his best and only friend. joined the death eaters? had a part in said friend’s death. had to spy for 20 years. eventually got killed himself. 

what is enough punishment for y’all to be satisfied that he is “properly” redeemed? how much self-flagellation does snape need to go through to prove himself? i don’t know if people think he hasn’t done enough because he doesn’t seem properly guilty or because he just isn’t a nice person or what, but he spends every day in danger, he saves countless lives, he lives and breathes the Cause, he dies painfully…. and none of that is enough for anyone to look at his bad deeds and “okay, that’s enough”? none of that balances his scales, even a little?

what else would he need to DO to get redemption? because as far as i see it, he’s earned it in pain and blood and literal sacrifice. he lost everything. he GAVE everything. and yet i still have to listen to someone complain about how he never truly redeemed himself, that he never earned the redemption arc he worked over 20 years to achieve? 

at some point you have to admit that there is nothing that will satisfy your thirst persecute a character tbh. bc snape has literally given up everything to get some sort of absolution - has been punished for all of his bad actions time and time again, and there are still people who will look at his story and say it wasn’t enough. as if the tragedy of his life was that he gave so much and got so little joy or happiness or love. 

It’s selfish to want them both, Percy tells himself, in the thin hours of morning when he can’t sleep and sits at his work-table, taking his gun apart over and over as if he’s looking for secrets in its metal guts. It’s selfish, and it’s wrong, and they’re twins – tall and identical and perfect, all dark elegance and long, silky hair and a razor’s-edge of something feral and hungry and angry just beneath the surface.

He’s always liked sharp things, hungry things, things with teeth – and the twins are sharp all over, lined with teeth, in their own unique ways. He wants to stick his hand into the steel trap of their souls, just to see what it would feel like when they slammed shut around his wrist, what it would be like to be caught there. Trapped. A wild animal wounded by the bladed edges and honed points of their love, bleeding out in their arms.

The smoke curls around the soft insides of his chest, an over-affectionate cat, crawls up his throat until it chokes him, and he digs a thumbnail into the soft meat of his palm until it bleeds. Another mark to add to his collection. It’s selfish, and it’s wrong, and he knows that him and his guns and his smoke are bad news of the worst kind. They don’t need that in their lives, don’t want that in their lives – don’t deserve that in their lives. Don’t deserve him.

But, by god, does he want them both.

Female Models in 40k

After reading numerous posts on the amount of females in 40k, especially surrounding the discourse of female Space Marines, I wanted to share my own opinions and see what others think. I’ve heard some people think that there is equal representation in 40k, I disagree with this, but perhaps I have interpreted them wrong.

I have gone over all the official codices, and some of the major datasheets as well, and objectively looked at how many females there were. I’ve looked at the characters and the units, I’ve read up the lore on which units are only/predominantly male or female and I’m only counting the main codices. I’ll mention the Imperial Armour or White Dwarf magazines where necessary but this analysis is focusing on the core of 40k, not all its offshoots which don’t actually change much regardless.

This is not a statement of what 40k should be however. I’m not saying how many 40k fans are male/female, I’m not saying what 40k fans want, what Games Workshop should do, I’m not saying anything about marketing or the money making side of things. This is purely an objective (or as objective as I can make it) look at the 40k models in regards to how many are female, male or other.

Objectively, the Warhammer 40k factions are dominated by males, with relatively few females. Here is how I came to this conclusion… (beware, this is a long post)

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