>> Sons Of Anarchy
>> Juice Ortiz x OFC
>> One Shot
>> Sad af
Were you real?
Juice often found himself lost in a sea of questions. His own darkness scared him. Every day would start the same: peaceful, calm, tranquil. But they never stayed that way for him. He struggled keeping a grip on reality, on what was actually being said to him, and about him. His heart was heavy, broken. He longed for someone to help him lessen the load, share the burden of his loneliness, give him a home.
She changed his life. She made life more bearable for him, turning darkness into shadows. She made life worth living again, even if it was just for a little while.
“You can do this.” Raegan whispered to herself. She stared at herself in the rear-view mirror. Her cross-country drive had taken a toll on her appearance. She fixed her makeup and smoothed her hair. She sat back in the driver’s seat, nodding to herself, building up the courage she so desperately lacked. Raegan took three deep breathes before stepping out of her car.
Raegan stood opposite the Teller-Morrow entrance. She
watched the leather clad bikers shuffle around within the fenced in quarters.
When Juan told Raegan he had joined a motor cycle club she didn’t think he
meant anything like this. She held her head high and confidentially strolled
through the parking lot. “Excuse me?” She tapped the shoulder of a vest wearing
biker. Scars adorned the older males face. He smiled at Raegan warmly. “How can
I help you lass?” Raegan was not expecting the thick Scottish accent that fell
from his lips. She stared at him in slight awe. “I… erm… Is Juan here? Juan
Ortiz?” She fumbled over her words.
“Oh Juicy boy, I’ll take you to him.” Raegan scrunch her brow. Juicy, what? She was taken aback by the nickname Juan had gained. “What’s your name lass?” Chibs made small talk as they made their way towards the clubhouse.
“Raegan.” She struggled to keep up with Chibs’ long strides. She found herself taking three steps to his one. “That’s pretty.” He said, pushing the door open, allowing her to enter first.
“Juan!!” Raegan’s voice came out high-pitched and excited at the man that stood across the room. Juice’s jaw went slack. The young girl he had left in Queens had become a woman. Her feet pattered across the floor towards him. Upon instinct Juice opened his arms to catch her as she jumped into them. His hands grasped at her waist holding her close to him as he spun with her in his arms.
“What are you doing here Rae?” He asked setting her back onto her feet. She giggled. Her fingers played with his kutte. “Did you think you would get rid of me that easy?” She beamed a smile at him. “Besides, Queens is boring without you.” Juice could feel his brothers’ eyes burning holes in him. He slung his arm around Raegan and led her to the others. “Everyone, this is Raegan. She was my best friend growing up… she still is.” Juice introduced Raegan to everyone.
Raegan and Juice spent the day
sat on the couch in the clubhouse catching up on the missed years. She
explained her plans on staying and looking for work. Juice was excited by the
idea of having her around again. He had missed their times together, he missed
her. “So,” Chibs interrupted the pair, “How did you two meet?” Raegan erupted in
laughter at the memory. Juice rubbed his hand over his scalp. “Go ahead” He
“Well, Juicy here had the locker next to mine in middle school. After, what could only be described as a difficult day, he opened his locker a little too fast… and hard, might I add.” She eyed him smiling, “he managed to slam his locker door into my face. Almost broke my nose. But it was the blossoming of a beautiful friendship.” She joked.
“I still feel terrible about that.” Juice looked at her with puppy dog eyes.
“It was worth it.” She patted his knee.
The day had come to a close.
Juice invited Raegan to stay with him while she worked out her next move. Juice opened the door to his apartment and
ushered Raegan inside. The sounds of laughter were never far from them. Juice
couldn’t help but feel free when Raegan was around. She damped the voices that
plagued his mind. When they were together he couldn’t help but feel alive. Raegan
inspected his place, moving things as she went around in the hopes to gain a
reaction. She ran her fingers along the pictures in his bedroom. To her surprise
he kept their prom picture out and on display. “This must go down well with
your girlfriend.” She held it up to him. Juice pushed away from the door frame
which he had been leaning on and moved towards her. “That’s not something I’ve
had to worry about.” He said quietly, slightly embarrassed. Raegan shook her
“Well they don’t know what they are miss-“Juice’s lips crashed to Raegan’s before she could finish her sentence. Raegan didn’t move, she didn’t know how to react. Juice pulled away quickly, shying away from her. Raegan reacted before he could leave. She grabbed him roughly by the kutte forcing their lips back together.
That night Juice and Raegan let loose their feelings. It was a night of firsts. That ended in love.
“We had a year together, a year of bliss. Raegan was my best friend and my soul mate. She made the days easier for me without even trying. With her by my side I could conquer anything. When I looked into her eyes I saw love, I felt loved. We shared the same dreams, simple ones, ones of settling down together, getting married… having children. Raegan was my future. I have never loved anyone the way I loved her and I never will.
I lived for her smile. On my worst days her smile made everything better. My heart would ache whenever I was away from her. I spent those days jittery, anxious to be back at her side again. Without her to hold my hand, to guide me, I am lost. I still wake up expecting to see her lying next to me. I miss the warm smile she gave me every morning. The soft kisses she placed on my face.
I would give anything to have her back, to have her stay. I need her… I need her to tell me that everything will be okay, that the world will keep spinning, that I can keep living. I need her to call me an idiot and shake her head at me one more time. Without her I am not living, I am getting by. I am waiting.”
Juice was excited to return home. He played the moment out
in his head over and over on the flight back from Ireland. He had missed her
every second he had been away. He fumbled with his key in the lock, before he
could turn it the door swung open. “Juicy!” Raegan shrieked with excitement.
She jumped into his arms, peppering his face with kisses. Juice kicked the door
closed behind them, carrying Raegan into the living room. “I missed you.” He
said dipping his head down to steal a kiss from her lips.
“Don’t be mad.” Raegan spoke as she wriggled free of his grip. Juice broke eye contact with her to see the disarray in front of him. The furniture had been moved to the centre of the room away from the walls. “White just wasn’t cheery enough.” She said proudly. Juice’s once white walls were now coated in a soft yellow colour. “I know it’s not much different but it reminds me of spring… or summer.” Juice was speechless. He just stared at the walls. “You hate it?” Raegan spoke softly, tears threatened to spill from her eyes. She wrapped her arms around herself. A small smile broke free on Juice’s face. “Oh babe,” he engulfed her in a hug. “I love it. I love the fact you are making it your home too.” Juice could feel his life falling into place, like he was finally getting his happy ending. “I’m just going to take the trash out.” Raegan placed a small kiss on the corner of his mouth.
Juice pulled a small velvet box from his pocket. He wanted to surprise Raegan, to make him his old lady officially. In that moment Juice could not be happier but the sound of screeching tires, drew his attention.
“She didn’t deserve to die. She deserved happiness. She deserved to live. I can’t bring her back. I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her.” Juice placed the velvet box on top of her coffin before they lowered her into ground. “I will always love you.”
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