flower crowns and pastel boots- chapter five

pastel punk au

tw: homophobia, vague suicidal thoughts

thank you @myrosebudboy, @t-basilton-g-p, @fuxkbaz, @snowbazrosebuds, @formal-wear, and @queerwithacrown for letting me bounce ideas off you and generally helping goodness <3

chapter one, chapter two, chapter three, chapter four, chapter five, chapter six, chapter seven, chapter eight, chapter nine, chapter ten, chapter eleven, chapter twelve, chapter thirteen, chapter fourteen, chapter fifteen, chapter sixteen, chapter seventeen, chapter eighteen, chapter nineteenepilogue

he’s every name but his own.

he’s pitch-bitch, degrading and insulting and painful-

he’s whore (and he’s slut and street treat and something he doesn’t want to repeat, not even in his own head)- even though it’s a lie-

he’s frosty, he’s rainbow, he’s freak and bitch and arse, and he’s breaking apart.

baz is the shadow of a soft pastel almost, hollow and light and quiet as a whisper.

simon feels something when he looks at him- like a star collapsing in his chest. and he thinks he knows what it is, because he used to feel like that when he looked at agatha.

he turns his fear and disgust into rage and finds baz and everything the he thinks will hurt him and he unleashes it all, a torrent of insults and jabs and low blows. and as he watches baz’s shocked eyes he feels a surge of savage pleasure breaking over him, growing and growing until-

it’s guilt, it’s not pleasure at all, but he continues because that’s all he knows how to do.

and he watches basilton pitch break into a thousand pieces, right before his eyes.

i made a mistake, he admits to himself. alone.

i made a mistake, and there’s something wrong with him but there’s something wrong with me too.

and then the rest of him beats that part down (like pretty pink boots and hair and sprinkles of red) because no, he’s not a freak like him he’s not he’s not he’s not-

he likes girls. he likes agatha.

it wasn’t meant to turn out like this.

baz lies in bed and stares at the ceiling and feels nothing.

he wonders, from far off, if he’d care if he’d die.

simon wouldn’t care.

no, simon would care- simon would dance with joy. simon would be happier than he’s ever been.

baz has disappointed so many people.

his family, for being who he is.

his mother, for not being strong enough to save her.

maybe he could make one person happy.

even if it’s simon snow.

(especially if it’s simon snow.)

simon knows people.

he knows people who know people and eventually he gets baz’s number because anger and bitterness is seeping through his seams and he needs an outlet.

so he slips outside, where it’s cold and he can think, and texts him.

baz is lying on his back in a room full of shadows when his phone beeps.

he considers not answering it, but it might be one of his parents, and they’ll be upset if he ignores their text. he slides his phone open, and- an unnamed number, not his parents. he’s about to put it down, he doesn’t care, but his eyes skin it-

hey, pitch bitch, it reads, and baz’s blood runs cold. he stares, frozen, until another message pops up.

so after i made u cry today how did u feel? bc u looked really pathetic

he doesn’t answer. (he hadn’t actually cried, just hidden his face in his sleeve and stayed that way until they left.)

cmon fairy r u even there

baz puts his phone down, gently, and lies down, and pulls his pillow over his ears. he can still hear the phone buzzing, over and over and over again.

he doesn’t get any sleep.

it’s like he’s being prodded closer and closer to the edge.

he would turn off his phone- he has, several times- but he always turns it back on, out of some twisted curiosity. and he’s always greeted by insults and mockery-

he doesn’t answer back, though.

he never does.

All Mundane Transgender!Alec Headcanons

I hope these are not too bad! I was writing them all yesterday and today. I did not have my computer all day. Here you go! If you guys have anything you want us to headcanon or write, we love prompts :)

This one written by malecshipper91

  • Alec has known he was different since he was five
  • He wears a chest binder and his sister helps him get all the clothes and accessories or anything he needs
  • His extremely homophobic parents do not know
  • When he comes out to his sister, she tells him that she has always known
  • With his siblings’ encouragement, Alec gets his shoulder length hair cut
  • Jace comes to live with the Lightwoods when he is eleven; Alec has already been dressing as a guy
  • Alec was born a girl; his birth name was Alexandria and he has not had surgery
  • His parents are rarely home so he does not really have to worry about them seeing
  • When Alec and Izzy explain Alec’s situation as delicately as possible to their youngest brother, he gives them a look that asks “okay and why is this a big deal?” Then, Alec and Izzy share a glance, which leads to a Lightwood sibling group hug
  • Reason why Alec wears baggy clothes, long-sleeved hoodies, etc.
  • Alec’s self consciousness stems mostly from growing up with major gender dysphoria
  • Through Jace never says anything, Alec is pretty sure Isabelle told him
  • Alec does not ever undress in front of anyone. He locks his door when changing and is extremely careful about showering and using the restroom
  • He hates his body and wants surgery, but his parents and society make it impossible
  • All his siblings are completely accepting all in their own way
  • Izzy asks Alec about his sexual orientation and after him stating that he is gay (into guys), she starts trying to set him up
  • Alec gets really into working out with Jace a ton after one incident where he was called out as a girl
  • Jace and Izzy being really protective about Alec. They are constantly correcting people who call Alec a she.
  • Alec is always happier when he is treated like a guy
  • Alec’s siblings all having to be careful when talking to/about him with their parents.
  • The first time their parents see his hair, they give him a shocked look and never mention it to him again
  • Alec actually is a really good singer, but he hates his high voice, so he does not sing anymore
  • Alec hears his dad say Alec looked like a dyke. Many other fights between their parents stem from this.
  • Alec’s siblings continue to be supportive. Max and Isabelle try to set him up on blind dates, because they HAVE to have Max’s approval, or “they could be weirdos!”
  • Jace continues to help Alec with things like working out, clothes, shoes, etc.
  • Alec gets a small crush on Jace, only because Jace is the only guy who has accepted him and treats him the same
  • Isabelle asks Alec one time about his binder “but doesn’t it hurt?”
  • Alec stopped talking as much for a while because he hates his “girl voice”
  • Alec always gets dressed in the bathroom after showers at the Lightwood house
  • When Alec first meets Magnus he is instantly smitten
  • After a few months of Magnus and Alec’s spectacular relationship, Isabelle convinces Alec that Magnus needs to know
  • Alec takes a while to be comfortable to cuddle properly or straddle Magnus
  • Alec and Magnus are making out, not for the first time, and somehow Alec’s shirt is being tugged at, asking for the extra fabric between their hot bodies to disappear
  • Alec stops and removes Magnus; soft hand from his shirt . He tugs his shirt back down fully and takes a deep breath.
  • He moves away from Magnus and looks down at his own hands
  • After some hesitation, Alec looks at his boyfriend, who was looking at him in utter confusion
  • “Magnus, I am so sorry. I- I have to tell you something.”
  • “I don’t know how to say this and I don’t know how y-you are going to t-take it… but you deserve to know because I love you.”
  • After Alec explains the best he can, Magnus simply smiles his smile of absolute adoration, takes Alec’s shaking hands in his own, and says, “Alexander, it doesn’t matter to me what gender you are. I love you for who you are, not for your genitalia. Thank you for telling me, darling.”
  • Alec throws his arms around the taller man and whispers, “How did I get so lucky? I love you so much, Mags.”
  • Something Magnus will never tell his love is that he knew all along.
  • After Magnus and Alec have been together for eight months, Alec tells Magnus he is ready to try some of the sexual stuff, if he still wants to
  • Magnus simply replies with a cool demeanor, “Are you sure? I don’t want to push you to do anything to make you comfortable.”
  • Alec replies, “I love you, Magnus, and I trust you to stop if I need  you to.” He cuddles closer to the other man and presses a quick kiss to his mouth.
  • Their sexual relationship goes slowly and is very progressive. It starts with Alec starting to talk his shirt off, but never his binder. It gets more and more sexual as time passes
  • Alec only wants to bottom and of course Magnus understands
  • It takes Alec a little over two years to be completely comfortable being totally naked in from of Magnus
  • After they have been together a year, Alec moves in with Magnus
  • Magnus lets Alec fully set the pace of their relationship. He lets Alec be the more dominant one in their sexual relationship. He doesn’t want to accidentally go too far or touch Alec in the wrong places
  • It takes Alec fourteen months of Magnus and him being together to finally feel comfortable enough in the least to take off his binder
  • Alec’s siblings and Magnus convincing Alec to come out to his parents
  • They are not accepting of it, but that is okay because all Alec needs at this point are his siblings and the love of his life

Another Soulmate AU because Parker apparently is my number one fangirl now, and demands fic from me. I only slightly reluctently obliged.
Fandom- Percy Jackson
Ship- Percabeth Percy/Annabeth

They Crinkle When You Smile

Annabeth likes his shoes. They light up, and look like race cars. She tells him so, and his cheeks look like her favorite red crayon. He tells her his mom gave them to him for his birthday, and that they are his favorite pair. His only pair. His green eyes look at the ground. Annabeth grabs his hand and asks him to swing on the swings with her.
He agrees.
Her mom tells her with a sad smile on her face. Annabeth doesn’t understand. Not until they are standing in his house surrounded by boxes. She sees a pair of worn out race car sneakers poking out of one. She finds him in the backyard, sitting on a bench. She sits next to him. He tells her about the place his mom says they’re going. New York. A big city, that no one can ever sleep in. Her eyes widen, and she hugs him. Standing, she grabs his hand and pulls him to his feet.
“Wanna swing?”
When she hugs him on her way out, she cries, but she still isn’t sure why.
“See you later?” She asks. Their moms sniffle.
He agrees.
It is so close. She can almost feel it. Annabeth has been looking forward to this day since she asked her parents why they had the exact same eye color. They smiled and said when she was ten, she’d know. Annabeth didn’t know what she’d know.
But she was excited anyway.
Annabeth loves learning new things.
She looks in the mirror and her eyes widen. Her eyes.
“Mom! Dad! Look!” She races out into the dining room where her parents are eating breakfast and holds her eyes wide. “What does this mean, why is one green?” Her question is frantic and scared, with a hint of rampant excitment.
“That green is the color of your soulmates eyes. If they turned ten recently, one of their eyes is gray, like yours.” Her dad explains paitently.
“I’ve seen this color before! And not just in crayon form! Remember? I remember, even if you don’t. His eyes were green. But he moved. Somewhere, a place no one is ever allowed to sleep.” Annabeth’s gray and green eyes stare at her parents.
“You have to help me find him.”
They agree, somewhat hesitantly.
The internet hasn’t helped her at all. Annabeth had thought that if anything could find him, it would be the internet. Evidently, she was wrong. She wanted to go out and search, but her parents say she isn’t old enough and would have to wait until she is older.
She doesn’t want to wait.
They deny her, everytime she asks. “You’re not old enough.” They always say.
She doesn’t agree.
Annabeth is losing hope. Six years, and he hasn’t shown himself at all? Annabeth had figured out he lived in New York, but who knows if he is still there? He could have moved again. Even if he didn’t, New York is a big state. It would take her ages to look there.
She decides to stop looking. If he truly is her soulmate, he will show up when he shows up. Annabeth wants to focus of her schooling.
She wants to become an architect.
Yet, her heart still calls out for New York.
Her mind doesn’t agree.
Freshman year. Architecture 101. College. A kid sits in front of her, a kid with the messiest black hair she has ever seen. He slouches, and the collar of his polo shirt is crumpled. He asks the girl next to him for a pen. And paper.
She vows to hate him from that moment on. The moment her Professor dismisses them, she is on her feet and storming towards the door, not daring to look back at him, for fear of saying something she would regret.
He isn’t in class the next day. The girl who sat beside him sighs in relief and turns to Annabeth.
“He never stopped fidgeting, and kept making snide comments under his breath. I am so glad he’s gone.”
Annabeth agrees.
Struggling with the books in her arms, and keeping her bag on her shoulder filled with even more books, Annabeth barely glances up as she walks through the hallway. She is on her way to her first clas of the year, Architechture of the World, when the front of her flip flop catches the ground and she goes sprawling, her books being thrown in every direction. She curses as she sits up to retrieve her bag and books. Her hands scrabble for those nearest to her, as another set of hands picks up those further down the hallway. Shoving books into her bag, she looks up to thank the person, but her words stick in her throat.
She gasps as she locks eyes with a pair identical to her own.
“Percy.” She breathes.
“Annabeth.” He grins, and she melts.
“I missed you.”
Percy agrees.
It has been a year. They each still have each others eye color, but they haven’t melded together yet. Annabeth begins to doubt that it is actually Percy. Maybe another guy in the world has these same green eyes. And… and the same gray. Like Percy.
But if they don’t mix… How can she know for sure?
They start fighting.
A lot.
“Maybe.. maybe we aren’t meant for each other! Have you ever even thought of that?” Annabeth shouts one afternoon. “Maybe we are just keeping ourselves from our real soulmates by being in this relationship. Maybe we should break up.” She hates the idea herself, can’t stand the idea of living without him. But she had to say it.
“No. We shouldn’t break up. These things take time, Annabeth. They don’t just happen over night.” His hands are up in a denfensive gesture, and she backs away.
“It has been a year! That is defenitly enough time! We just aren’t meant to be together!”
He disagrees.
She’s still crying. It has been a week, and the tears haven’t stopped. A week since he left.
A week since she told him to leave.
Annabeth rises from the nook she made of blankets on her bed. She heads for the bathroom, where she looks at her wrecked face in the mirror. She focuses on her eyes. The farmilliar dissonance between the colors. She gasps. The green of her eye, that of which she has seen in the mirror since she was ten years old, it seems to be washing away. Everytime she blinks, a little more green is gone, replaced by gray. She keeps her eyes wide open as she dashes to her room for her phone.
The loss she feels, the pain, losing such a small thing as an eye color, is nothing compared to the pain of losing him. But it made her realize something.
It only faded when he left.
“Hello?” His stuffy voice fills the phone, and she sits heavily on her bed.
“It’s you.”
“It’s you. It’s you. It has always been you. Maybe before, we weren’t truly ready. Maybe we weren’t really trying. I’m ready now. Ready to try. I love you.”
He agrees.
Annabeth didn’t think she would ever look good in white, yet here she stands, handing hands with the man who was just christened her Husband, staring into his gray green eyes, so full of love and wonder.
He thinks she looks good in white.
She agrees.
Annabeth thought she was the happiest she had ever been and ever would be on her wedding day.
She was wrong.
Staring at the little bundle in her arms, feeling the arm wrapped around her shoulders, she feels complete for the first time. She pushes the wild, thick blonde curls off of her daughters forehead, and stares into her beautiful green gray eyes.
“I don’t think I’ve ever seen anyone, so astoundingly perfect as our daughter. She’s beautiful.” Percy’s words are choked with tears, and his arm tightens around her shoulders.
Annabeth agrees wholeheartedly.
Thirty-Five“Mom! Dad! Look! Look look look! My eyes changed, they changed!” Their daughter, Sophie comes bounding into the dining room, the morning of her tenth birthday. One of her eyes is the normal green gray and the other is the darkest, warmest brown either of them had ever seen.Percy and Annabeth glance at each other. Smiles slowly begin to spread across their faces.“Here we go again.” Percy mutters.Annabeth smiles, watching her daughter examine her new eye color on the back of a spoon.“I couldn’t agree more”