five-year-old-style

Not done with you

Harry Styles - 1485 words

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“The amount of time of a work day you stare at our boss is unnerving to say the least.” Cathy chuckles as I feel the deep red blush crawl into my neck again, watching the last of Mr. Styles disappear behind his large mahogany door. I swat my arm in the general direction of Cathy’s desk before turning around in my desk chair to face my nosy, obnoxious coworker.  

“It’s not staring, it’s more like observing.” I shrug my shoulders as I rummage through the papers that are on my desk, switching my crossed legs around to nervously tap against the side of my dark wooden desk. “If he were my age I’d drool over him too, dear.” Cathy stops her joking as she gives me one of her fond smiles. Cathy is somewhere in her thirties and clearly not too old for the twenty five year old Mr. Styles, but she was recently back in the dating world and enjoying her ass off.

“I don’t drool.” I sigh, but a small smile etched onto my lips because I wasn’t far from it anyway. I am about to push myself on to my feet to take one of my unhealthy smoke breaks but freeze zith my bum hovering over the seat as Mr. Styles’ door opens and his head peeks out. “Y/n, dear could you maybe get me a cup of coffee? I don’t think I’ll survive the meeting otherwise.” He accompanies his question with a wink and I nod my head as I raise to my feet completely.

Cathy raises her eyebrows in a suggestive manner and I can only roll my eyes as I make Mr. Styles his cup, all black with two sugars before making my way through the office, high heels clicking against the tiles. Mr. Styles smiles at me as he sticks out his hand to grasp his coffee. “Thanks Y/n. I’m dead tired.”

“I’m sure you’ll survive Mr. Styles.”

“Tell me Y/n, you think I’m doing a good job?” Mr. Styles shyly asks as he turns around in his seat so he can look at me, resting against the side of his massive desk while he sips his coffee.

“Your approach is different from your father but that doesn’t mean it isn’t the right way to act.”

“Y/n talk to me as a friend and not an employee for once.” Harry smirks as he rubs his large hand over his tired features, clearly fed up with the long nights he had been making lately. I crawl further onto his desk, letting my legs dangle off of the side as I pat his leg comfortingly. “H., you’re doing fine. Although I’d suggest taking things slower you look knackered.”

Harry’s hands leave his cup astray as he rests them on my exposed knees, turning me so I was sitting right in front of him, a small, lazy smile gracing his lips. Harry and I had met during my second year at college, where he was a business major, bound to take over his father’s company as soon as he were to graduate. Harry was always the laid back, funny guy that loved to party and drink as much as the next guy. It did quite help him that he had the looks of a young Adonis, girls and even professors swooning when he’d wink at them or grant them his million dollar smile while passing them in the hallways.

I know the other girls on campus shot me dirty looks since I started hanging out with Harry more and more. Harry and I spoke after a night of partying at one of the sorority’s, only meeting each other coincidentally again while both trying to stay awake for morning class with a cup of coffee. Back then I was, as was everyone, swooning for his charm and the way he carried himself. Throughout the first weeks I was building my friendship with him I realized that he probably came to liking me because I wasn’t (visibly) drooling all over him and I could act normal around him. Harry wasn’t one to date or go steady, with an occasional fling whenever he was drunk.

I think it happened somewhere during spring break, where Harry and I were lounging around on his sofa in the living room, drinking alcoholic beverages while enjoying some stupid comedy Harry said I had to watch. Somehow I made a stupid comment about love and sexual tension and before I knew it, our lips were pressed together and my back hit the sofa with his body covering mine like a blanket. That was the first night whatever this was, happened. We never actually spoke of relationships or an actual title to stick to our sort of friendship. Whenever either of us had a need, the other would try to fulfill it. Harry stopped sleeping around, graduated and took over his father’s business within the next year of his graduation. I followed suit after when he hired to me be his secretary one year later.

“Relax.” I breathe as I let my fingertips graze his scalp, gently massaging his head as I see his eyes drift closed, content sighs leaving his lips with every exhale. “Your hands are like magic.” Harry breathes and a grin makes its appearance, lip pulled between my teeth as I watch his features relax more and more with every gentle stroke.

“I know one way to get myself to relax.” Harry grins as his hands find my knees again and push up slowly, grazing the insides of my thighs which immediately sends tingles down my spine. A dry chuckle leaves my lips, air escaping past my parted lips as I keep my gaze transfixed on his. “You’re unbelievable. Ford is going to be here any minute now, H.”

“Who says it’s not only a few minutes I need with you?” Harry chuckles as he reaches my bum underneath my skirt and pulls me into his lap, hands giving me a firm squeeze as his eyes twinkle in excitement. “It’s not very attractive to admit you’re a one minute man, babe.” I try my best not to burst into hysterics when Harry’s eyes widen at my statement and his dimples appear.

“You astonishing woman.” With a shake of his head, his eyes are closed and our lips are pressed together with an indescribable need for one another. Harry’s already swiftly unbuttoning his dress pants, our mouths panting against each other while his hands roam over my clothed torso. In one swift movement, my skirt is hiked up near my hips and one of Harry’s slender fingers brushes over my wetted core, a gasp flying past my lips as I squeeze my eyes closed.

His fingers push my knickers to the side and I visibly shiver when his cold fingers come into contact with my hot skin. “Harry, I –“ I breathe, my fingers ghosting over his erect member, trying to get a firm grasp on him to coax him into taking me in his office.
“I know, Y/n.” Harry breathes against my neck as his lips trail from my lips to my collarbone, nipping playfully at the exposed skin while all I do is pant hoarsely from his skillful fingers touching me.

“Mr. Styles, Mr. Ford is here to see you.” Cathy’s voice echoes through Harry’s office and we both still, Harry’s eyebrows furrowing as I let a harsh groan leave my lips. Harry turns towards his telephone on the right side of his desk, holding a button while his other outstretched hand rests on the small of my back. “Okay, Cathy. I’ll meet him in the conference room in five minutes.”

His smile is apologetic as well as strained as Harry lifts me back onto the side of his desk so he can button up with dress pants again, hissing lowly when his own knuckles brush against his hard member. “That’s an anti-climax.” I huff, arms crossed over my chest although the smile is inching its way to a visible state. Harry glares at me playfully as he slaps my exposed knee while he raises to his feet. “You can say that. Meet me for dinner at my place tonight?” Harry breathes against my lips as his pointer finger and thumb keep my chin in place, my eyelids fluttering closed of the close proximity combined with his sweet, masculine perfume flaring into my nostrils.

“Only if we can continue this for dessert.” I grin mischievously, pulling his tie back in the right place and patting his light blue dress shirt down and into his trousers again, Harry watching me with lazy eyes. “Oh miss Y/l/n, I am not done with you.” A smirk graces Harry’s lips as he winks at me before slowly walking out of his office to meet Mr. Ford in the conference room, leaving me hot and flustered and desperate for later.

Lots of love,
L. xox

5

APPLE VALLEY, MINNESOTA-   Christian Army veteran David Crowley murdered his formerly Muslim wife and five-year-old daughter execution style before writing “Allahu Akbar" on the walls of their house with their own blood.

A “seemingly happy suburban father snapped” after work-related stress before shooting his wife and daughter and then turning the gun on himself. Police found Komel, 28, and their daughter, Raniya, decomposed and ravaged by the family dog inside the house after a neighbor became concerned with their disappearance in January 2014. Police believe that Crowley’s choice of Arabic words was a sarcastic jab at his late wife’s background.

     “You can’t change the past, but I’ve had many a time to realize what went wrong, and how I ended up on the streets after almost 20 years of legally being married and then 10 years on and off separated. The relationship I had with my ex-wife was one-sided, so to speak. Mine was a little bit of abuse by a woman, which sounds bizarre, but it was verbal, and I just kept putting up with it until I had enough.”
     “Would you like to have your own place?”
     “Eventually. And now that I’m talking to you, it makes me think. It’s not so much having my own place. That’s just bricks and stone, and it’s cool and everything. I had my own apartment, and I lived indoors. I think what I would like is to keep traveling, if I just had the money. Once I hit retirement age, I should get about $1,000 a month from Social Security—just from retirement, not disability. I’m not disabled…that I know of. I’m over 62, I have an ID, I’m an American citizen, I’m not in any trouble—real trouble. There’s always some stupid arraignment for a parking ticket you missed or something, but other than that I’m clean. I’ve traveled the country the last five years, old-school—hitchhiking style, buses, walking. But I haven’t traveled in a while, and I’m ready to go. I just don’t know where yet.”  

Boston

(A table of contents is available. It will be kept updated throughout the series, and I will reblog it upon completion of the series. This series will remain open for additional posts.)

Part 5: Finding the Funny Bone with Humor

Depending on who’s talking, the genre that seeks to amuse the reader is referred to as either humor or comedy. They are capable of being used interchangeably, so don’t let that scare you. It’s all personal preference. Actually, that’s a lot of what makes the humor genre so difficult. What is funny?

What makes a humor/comedy story?

Humor is very much related to age. Even here on Tumblr there are funny posts with comments on the end, “We’re just a bunch of five-year-olds.” Accordingly, the style of humor in the fiction genre varies depending on what age group your book is aiming to amuse. Here are some very basic guides laid out for us by Lance Gentle and Merna McMillen on children’s literature:

  • Ages 10-11: literal and slapstick humor
  • Ages 12-13: practical jokes, teasing, sick jokes, sarcasm, etc.
  • Ages 14-15: more risque jokes, as well as humor aimed at persons of authority
  • Ages 16 and up: “adult” humor

Often, the voice and point of view of the narrative are heavy influences on whether a story is considered humorous, thus leading to first person narratives frequently. Of course, third person is popular with situational comedies that can be immediately recognized as funny without the commentary from the narrator. Frequent themes of more serious humor, and especially humor stories aimed toward children, are “you can survive,” “you are not alone in your problems,” and “life is not so serious.” As a side note, humor and comedy often end with a happy ending, all joking aside.

Humor can be conveyed in all kinds of ways, leading to a proliferation of sub-genres, including farce, parody, satire, and slapstick:

  • Farce: Entertains through the exaggeration of situations. Often characterized by an extraordinary amount of plot twists and impromptu events that result in a difficult -to-follow plot, physical humor, absurdity, and nonsense.
  • Parody: Also called a spoof; entertains by imitating an original (work, style, author, event, person, or other target) and expanding into absurd, ironic, or satiric.
  • Satire: Entertains by taking a shortcoming (often of society), or something viewed by the author as a mistake, and holding it up for ridicule with the hope of educating others to the problem, and spurring the audience into demanding improvement. Uses wit to draw attention to the issue, often shaming an individual, corporation, government, or society. Utilizes irony, sarcasm, juxtaposition, analogy, comparison, and hyperbole.
  • Slapstick: Physical comedy. Often through acts of violence on another that do not cause lasting harm; sometimes acts of the self, such as stepping on a Lego. Frequently features chases and situational humor, as well as verbal wit.

Humor cross-genres with just about everything! Romantic comedies are, of course, some of the most popular, however comic horror such as the Shaun of the Dead franchise led to a big boost to a more specific zombie comedy genre. Black comedy, or dark humor, describes sardonically humorous events stemming from morbid or grotesque situations, sometimes dealing with anxiety, suffering, or death. Comic fantasy and comic science fiction are also big cross-genres where fantastical stories take lighthearted tones, parody other fantasy works, and often include puns. Mm, puns. Because of the narrative impact of humor and comedy, it can be important to list this as one of your story’s genres if your story is particularly heavily influenced by the nonsensical or punny aspects of the genre.

Next up: The Classics.

New Challenges Part 19

Dedicated to the two wonderful anons who gave me the idea! Enjoy!

“Swike! No! I made a promise!” Hannah argued into the phone. She listened to Sara’s reply while wiping the spaghetti sauce of Alex’s chin.

“Do I really need to be there?” Hannah whined.

The blonde rolled her eyes, making a silly face at Alex, “Fiiiine, I’ll be there. Mail me the address?… I know… Bye!”

Keep reading

1D- You are pregnant but you or him leaves, you see him later in life

I am sorry if I got anything wrong before, I did change it, so I hope you like it

Louis: you guys have been dating for four years, on your anniversary you were going to tell him that you were a month pregnant. He has been acting different lately and he was somehow becoming a diva, the day you were going to tell him, he took diva to another level. He was very rude and demanding, you had enough of him, and decided to leave and raise the babies on your own.

One year later- You had two boys, Benji and Kenneth Tomlinson, they were about four months old. You decided to take a long walk around London, and decided to stop at the Kroger’s store nearby to buy some thing to eat. As you were walking through the aisles, you heard the voice you never wanted to hear again, your ex, Louis Tomlinson. He was with all the boys, when he noticed you. They all ran after you trying to talk to you. They couldn’t see the stroller, because food was blocking it, and you were thankful for it. You finally turned around, with the stroller in your grip, and faced the boys. Louis saw the two boys and instantly got sad and asked if you were with someone else. That is when you replied to him, saying “meet Benji and Kenneth Tomlinson, your sons”. He immediately hugged you, and said he was sorry for being an ass, and wanted to be in all three of your lives again. The other boys were still standing there in shock, as you said yes to Louis.

Harry: The day you found out you were pregnant, Harry broke up with you because of management. You decided you wanted nothing to do with anyone who would listen to someone else instead of making their own decision to break up with someone.

six years later- Your five year old daughter, Britney styles, was amazing and beautiful. She loved to travel, but has never been out of the state before. You thought that 'at that moment’, would be a good chance for her to meet her dad. You and your daughter flew from Illinois, to New York where one direction was performing. You got a backstage pass to see them after the concert, you were so nervous. As you were walking to the backstage area, Harry stopped to talk to Britney. He didn’t even recognize you, until you said to him “wow, harry you have not changed one bit”. He than asked if he knew you, and you said, “ I sure hope you remember your ex girlfriends name”. Harry started to talk a little with you, until your daughter asked to be picked up. That is when harry raised his eyebrow in confusion. “Britney, I want you to meet your father Harry”, you said. Harry was now shaking from nerves, Britney, said “hi daddy, can you pick me up”. Harry picked her up and introduced her to her uncles, who were almost as nervous as Harry was. You both stayed for the rest of the tour, and became a family, with the one you loved and your daughter.

Niall: He was the best boyfriend ever, but you always felt like you weren’t good enough for him. When you found out you were pregnant, you decided it would be best if you left, because you didn’t want to be a burden on him. He kept trying to find you but you changed your number and your appearance.

two years later- You and your fifteen month old daughters, Diana and Melody, were still living in Ireland. You moved there three years ago to be with Niall. He just came back from tour, while you were out with your kids, going to the department store, Brown Thomas. Your daughters, both got Niall’s overexcitement, and They would not sit still . He walked into the store, to see a familiar face with different styled clothes and two kids. Melody and Diana were jumping around like lunatics, that is when you screamed, “Melody and Diana Horan, sit down and wait for mommy to get some clothes.” Niall heard you say that and walked over to you and finally noticed who you were. You Both talked, he asked why you left, you told him, you felt like a burden and ran. Niall, then grabbed your face and kissed you passionately. Afterwards, he introduced himself to your kids and Niall brought you all back to live with him and meet the other boys.

Liam: He decided to go back to his ex girlfriend Sophia, so you didn’t tell him that he was going to be a dad. you were three months pregnant at the time, and your sister was the only one that could help you with your pregnancy.

nineteen years later- Your daughter, Kayla turned eighteen, but still lives with you. She just got her license, so you let her drive you to the movie theatre. You were in line with Kayla, when she noticed Liam from the pictures you showed her. She ran to Liam, but as you yelled out for her to stop, Liam noticed you. When he saw her and then you, at first he thought you were cousins. You took Kayla’s hand and told her it was time to go, Liam, than followed you and asked why you started to leave. You had no choice, but to tell him that Kayla was his. Liam thought you were keeping her a secret from him, but you weren’t, he just left. You both started to hang out as friends again, and he realized he still loved you and divorced his ex, to be with you and you had another kid that you raised together.

Zayn: He left a goodbye note to you, while you were sleeping. This hurt you so bad, you promised yourself, you would never let him meet your son that you had been pregnant with for only a few weeks.

eight months later- A week after your son, Zein was born, you put him in your carrying pouch so you could take a walk around the mall. You stopped at your favorite store, only to see Zayn, who also saw you and followed you out of the store. Your promise to yourself, was then broken, when he saw the sleeping baby. You tried to get away from him again, but instead, Zayn in front of you, to stop you. He asked if Zein was his. He then apologized, and asked to be in his life. It took a long time, but after two weeks he convinced you to let him see is son and you became a happy family afterwards.