five pictured but about 8 over the course of the last 4 years

Distractions pt 3

Pt. 1 || Pt. 2 || Pt. 3 || Pt. 4 || Pt. 5 || Pt. 6  || Pt. 7 || Pt. 8 || Pt.9 || Pt. 10 || Pt. 11 || Pt. 12 || Pt. 13

Yoongi x Reader

Genre: Not really angst or fluff…I don’t really know

Summary: It was weird seeing him again. It was even weird knowing you’d be working with him, but you kinda had a feeling like it was going to be okay.

Word Count: 1721

Warning: like one use of the f-word…does this really require a warning?

Originally posted by bangtoori

“You wanted to see me?” 

“Ah, Yoongi. Yes, please take a seat.” Yoongi gladly accepted Bang PD’s offer and took a seat in front of his desk, “I wanted to talk to you about something. You see, I owe a friend a favor.”

Psh ‘favor’, Yoongi thought, Bang PD must’ve lost another bet again. He really should stop betting while he’s drunk.

“He needs help with something, and I think you’d be able to provide help.”

“What kind of help?”

“Well, you mentioned how wanted to try to produce for other artists. Since promotions are finished, and Bangtan isn’t working on another album yet, I thought I could give you an opportunity to help produce a song for another group.”

“Group? As in another idol group? Who…”

“You know 2S? The group under Music Box Entertainment?” Of course Yoongi knew, “They need help with a title track, and I offered to allow one of my producers to go do some sort of collaboration. So, how about it?”

Yoongi took in what Bang PD had to say. It was true, BTS wasn’t working on new music yet and he did want to try to produce for another artist. But he didn’t know how to feel about seeing…you. He knew this was a good opportunity to expand his credentials and gain more experience, but was it worth opening up a wound from years ago? 

Keep reading

Imagine Sunday morning surprises with Chris.

A/N: Chapter 8, Part 4 of ‘Beginnings’ ❤️ You can read the related mini-series and the previous parts here: (Mini-series: ‘Perfect’ - Masterlist; Mini-series Spin-off: ‘Fated’ - Masterlist; Chapter 8: ‘Beginnings’: Part 1/Part 2/Part 3)

Ever since you started work and had less time with Jack and Dodger, your Sunday mornings were spent in bed with them while Chris prepared breakfast downstairs. Sometimes you’d help Chris, leaving Dodger to watch Jack who was comfortably secured in his rocker and placed in front of the television. You could still see them from where you were in the kitchen, of course. It would’ve been negligent of you otherwise. Sunday mornings were always your favorite mornings, it was the one day you allowed yourself to not think of work. Well, not think of work to the best of your abilities. You couldn’t help yourself if you suddenly thought of something that you needed to deal with. You tended to those sudden thoughts immediately because if you didn’t, you’d forget and then you’d spend the whole day fixating on what you’d forgotten. You’d always get on Chris’ nerves when you did that, bringing forth a meaningless argument that’d ruin your one day off.

Neither enjoyed arguing with the other, though your passive aggressive natures riled up plenty. The arguments never lasted long, you both agreed that three hours was the maximum time limit for any dispute. That was one hour put aside for the actual fight; one hour to take a step back, and grumble and pout; and one hour to sit and resolve, as well as think of prevention techniques for, whatever it was you were fighting about. So far, so good. You were still happily married and picturing growing old together. The three hour rule helped, but it was also the unconditional love you carried for each other. As bad as the disputes got, nothing could’ve been worst than life without  the love of yours. You’d both found coping mechanisms, something to remind you of said worst so you’d take a step back from the edge.

For Chris, it was the moment he thought you’d died in the plane crash. He thought he forgot how to breathe when he heard your plane had crashed on that radio announcement. He was sure that was the end for him, that he’d never love or try to love for the rest of his time on earth. So no, as infuriating as you were sometimes, he swore he’d never do anything to lose you because he couldn’t feel that level of hopelessness ever again. As for you, well- it wasn’t hard to remind yourself what kind of stupid you’d be if you lost the man of your dreams. Your entire life before you met him was torture, when you were just a fan whose existence he was unaware about. You had everything now: the perfect life, the perfect man. Yes, there were times when you’d see a more humane, less perfect, more everyday man version of Chris that drove you insane. But at the end of the day, it was still him and you didn’t love that version of him any less. That was how you knew it was real, right? That was what marriage is, like your dad said “it’s loving someone despite everything” and you had that with Chris.

You also had a child with Chris who was very capable of reminding his parents how much they loved each other. Jack may not have arrived at the right time, but he was always part of the plan. The two of you loved him so much that sometimes your hearts would ache watching him, and the two of you watched him a lot. Everything he did was so adorable. Every sound he made, his smile, the way his small hands would reach for your faces every time either of you picked him up. As much as you loved Sundays with your little family, it was always difficult for you to go back to work the next day. It was also difficult for Jack to let you go, crying whenever he and Chris bid you goodbye at the front door as you got into a cab.

It was because of those moments that you were glad Emilia was still looking for a director and not turning to you to direct. It’d been five days since you and Chris made your bet, but the offer was still yet to come up. You both agreed to leave it, letting things run its course. Chris wasn’t allowed to hint anything at Emilia, and you couldn’t decline the job just to win the bet, or decline the job without thinking it through. This was going to be another huge opportunity for you so it had to be taken into thorough consideration, no matter how scared or overwhelmed you were by the idea of directing your first film. You knew if Emilia did offer you the job, Chris would’ve been right about you accepting it without blinking an eye. But you also knew you’d be right about it being too much for you, you reminded yourself of that so you wouldn’t accept it without blinking an eye. Chris got his first directing job after years and years in the film industry which he’d admitted was overwhelming despite his experience. You could only imagine how overwhelming it’d be for you, a complete and total amateur.

“Jack Jack, no.” You laughed softly at Jack, lifting him away from Dodger to sit between your legs. It has become apparent that he needed to be as far away from the sweet and gentle Dodger while he was teething. Your son could be hugging Dodger one second, and nibbling at his ear another. “How many times have I told you not to do that to Dodger, huh?” Jack babbled, falling back against you as he put his onesie covered right foot into his mouth. “And now you’re a cannibal, great.” You reached over and scratched Dodger’s head, chuckling.

You looked at the clock hanging on the wall; it was 9:18AM. Chris must have been running a little behind schedule because he was usually done by 9AM. Thankfully, you’d already fed Jack; the breakfast Chris was preparing was more for the two of you. You weren’t overly hungry, but you decided to go downstairs to help him move the process along. “Downstairs, Dodger. C’mon.” You told Dodger as you scooped Jack up. Dodger ran ahead and you followed behind, laughing as Jack’s slobbery hands cupped your face.

“You’re a shining star,” you heard Chris sing a line from ‘Shining Star’ by Earth, Wind and Fire.

“What?” You laughed as you looked up. “Are you- Emilia,” you felt your eyes narrow in confusion when you saw her sitting at the breakfast bar. “What are you doing here?” You asked even though you had a slight clue from the way Chris was grinning at the stack of papers in his hand. “What’s um- what’s going on?” You asked and Chris continued to bop from side to side, mouthing the words to ‘Shining Star’ as he pointed at you.

“I found you a director,” she told you and a nervous laugh escaped you.

“Please tell me my director is not currently in the room,” you replied as you walked over.

“She wasn’t, but she just walked in.” Chris smiled as he held out the contract Emilia had written up for you to direct. “It’s a really good offer.” You shook your head at him as he took Jack from you, you taking the contract from him. “We said a thorough consideration, remember?” He reminded you and you huffed, scanning the contract.

The second you spotted your name beside the role of director, you choked on the air in your lungs. “This is insane, you’re insane.” You shook your head at both your husband and your producer, lowering the contract on the table and taking a step back. “I can’t do this, I am not a director.”

“Yet,” Chris corrected you. “You’re not a director yet. No one just magically becomes a director, Y/N. You have to direct something before you become a director.” Emilia nodded in agreement. “This is a good stepping stone for you, do you really think you’re going to be happy just writing stuff for people? I know you, you’re going to want to direct eventually.”

“Eventually, yes. Not now,” you protested, drawing sighs from both Chris and Emilia who clearly anticipated your reaction. “This is an amazing offer, Emilia, but I know myself. I am not ready to direct, I am barely holding it together with my current responsibilities. There is no way I can handle being in charge of the whole operation.”

“I understand,” Emilia nodded and you managed a small smile, ignoring the look Chris was giving you. “I’m going to leave the contract with you anyway, in case you decide to change your mind.” You pressed your lips together, nodding. “The door is going to be open until we find a director, so sleep on it. You won’t have the whole operation on your shoulders, remember that. There is a reason the credits run so long at the end of every movie, you’re going to have help.” You nodded again, picking up the contract to read what was on the pages. “I’ve been doing this for a while, I wouldn’t offer you the job if I didn’t think you could handle it.”

“I know,” you mumbled.

“Make sure she thinks about it,” Emilia told Chris as she got to her feet; he nodded. “He’s beautiful,” she smiled at Jack who smiled back. “I’ll see you tomorrow, hopefully with some good news.” She gave your arm a light pat then took her leave.

Chris eyed you as you staggered over to the dining table, pulling out a chair to take a seat. Dodger followed you, resting his head on your lap. “Sweetheart,” Chris walked over, sitting in the chair adjacent to yours. You looked up from the contract at your husband and son, they were both smiling at you. “You can do this. Whether or not you believe it, you can. You’ve got talent oozing out of you, you’re just too afraid to admit it. Take a chance and go fulfill your dream. What’s the worst that could happen?”

“I fail miserably, become a laughing stock, and never amount to anything in Hollywood?”

“You realize you’re talking to the actor that had to stick a banana in his butt for his first big gig, right?” He said and you laughed. “Yeah,” he nodded, chuckling. “Look at where I am now, and it all started with the banana in my butt.” You reached for his hand and he smiled, squeezing your hand. “Everyone has to start somewhere, and if you fail- you fail. You’re just going to have to get back up and try again, y’know?”

“You really want to win this bet, don’t you?”

“The beret has been bought, yes,” he nodded and you laughed. “And I really want the world to see how talented you are,” he said with a more serious tone, squeezing your hand. You smiled and pulled your hand away to pick the contract back up. He got to his feet and walked over to the kitchen counter to grab a pen before he returned to your side. “This is just the beginning, I promise.” He held out the pen for you; you took it, uncapping the lid. “You are going to do some amazing things.”

You took a deep breath and signed your name on the line, “here’s hoping.”

Tags: @chrisevans-imagines @widowsfics @m-a-t-91 @imaginesofdreams  @katiew1973 @winter-tospring @shamvictoria11 @soymikael @faye22 @always-an-evans-addict @heartblackerthancoffee @whenyourealizethisisntagoodname @yourtropegirl @smoothdogsgirl @createdbytinyaddiction @dreamingintheimpalawithdean @rileyloves5 @buckys-shield @catch-me-im-a-falling-star @tabi-toast @ssweet-empowerment @chrixa @feelmyroarrrr @akidura79 @castellandiangelo @edward-lover18 @yourenotrogers @im-a-fandom-slut @royalexperiment256 @palaiasaurus64 @tacohead13 @badassbaker @pegasusdragontiger @sfreeborn @dorisagent101 @aekr @imagine-cats96 @adeptkillsyasse @shliic @justanotherfangurlz @winchesterandpie @creativeheartgemini @camerica96 @thestarlighthotel @lilya-petrichor @pinkleopardss @lizzysugar @bywonater @avengingalec @nerdingoutismylife @rayleyanns @captainxamerica @lapetitsyrene @01asianista @alwayshave-faith @southernbellestatues @thegirlwiththeimpala @callie-swagg1 @what-if-wenevermet @hillrichhill @patzammit @gerrardisgod

Part 5

Summer (13)

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5
Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 | Part 9 | Part 10
Part 11 | Part 12 | Part 13 | Part 14
Part 15

Description: Jiyoon and Jongin had been best friends since birth thanks to their families. They visit a cabin every summer, nothing changed until both of them had graduated, soon off to college. This would be their last time at the family cabin for years to come, and things begin to change for Jongin. What happens when he begins to realize everything too late?

Word Count: 1,332 (the next one will be longer…maybe seven more parts at most)

Pairing: Kim Jongin (Kai) x OC (Park Jiyoon)

Author: Admin Xiufairy ㅅㅇㅅ

Xiufairy’s Masterlist ㅅㅇㅅ

(A/N: This may include inaccurate representations of Kai’s family because I don’t know them, nor do I claim them as characters.)

Originally posted by intokai

Jisoo warmed up to Jongin’s parents easily. Of course, nobody had said anything out loud, Jisoo would pick things up easily despite being as young as she was. Jiyoon stayed close to her daughter, but eventually Jongin’s mom was able to pull her aside.

“Jiyoon, I’m not sure exactly what happened, but I wanted you to have this.” She handed an envelope to Jiyoon. “It’s from Jongin. He wrote it nearly ten years ago but I haven’t been able to give it to you until now…I didn’t look at it either, so…” She trailed off. “Please remember him. He still loves you like he did when he was eighteen. My son…he doesn’t give up.”

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The One That Got Away| (5) Kim Donghyun

Originally posted by ong-seungwoo

character: kim donghyun

word count: 883

genre: angst angst angst

summary: donghyun left you heartbroken for 8 months, then he finally called

~this should be ending soon~

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Second Chance (Karamel) - Chapter 9

Originally posted by highwaytothe7hells

One moment can change everything.

When Mon-El lost Kara, his fiancee, in an alien invasion one year ago, he thought he’d never see her again. Since then he’s been trying to build himself a life and pick up whatever pieces of him was left after losing her, and he’s been failing miserably. Just when he thinks he can’t go on anymore and loses all hope, he’s thrust into a world completely different than his; a world in which everything he used to know is changed. Which includes Kara Danvers never dying on that fateful night.

Mon-El soon finds out it won’t be as easy as he hoped it would be to reverse the changes, especially when with each passing day he gets more sucked up into his new life. Because in the end, reversing everything means losing Kara all over again, and he’s not sure he’s strong enough to go through that a second time.

Second Chance
- Prologue
- Chapter 1: Failure
- Chapter 2: Nightmare
- Chapter 3: Gone
- Chapter 4: Ripple Effect
- Chapter 5: Fault
- Chapter 6: Valor
- Chapter 7: Not Enough
- Chapter 8: Happiness
- Chapter 9: The Right Thing
- Chapter 10: Hollowness

Other Karamel Fanfics:
Karamel Fanfiction Masterlist

Note: hey y'all!

right now, i’m so glad that i’d went ahead with my plan for this story and wrote until chapter 14 (yup, 14), because if i’d written it according to my original plan, there was no way i could’ve posted this chapter right now, because, well, i have six exams next week in five days, and last week i’ve had five of them. there was NO WAY i could’ve written it. BUT, fortunately i did, so you won’t have to wait more after that cliffhanger on the last chapter ;)

anyway, without further ado, i hope you like this chapter! i feel like a lot will be explained in it, so if you’re confused or have any questions, please let me know :)

also, i barely know ANYTHING about comic books, so the character references in this chapter are based on the Supergirl show and my own imagination. just wanted to point that up if it ended up being different than the comic books :)

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Avenging Angel: Part 12

Summary: You’ve spent the last five years on a dangerous mission to solve the crime that wrongly imprisoned your father. When the Winchesters find you half-frozen on the side of a mountain, they make it their own mission to save your life and make sure you stay alive. But after five years of uncovering horribly dark secrets, you’ve learned not to trust anyone. Especially people who seem like they have good intentions.

Word Count: 1574

Warnings: None

Part 1Part 2Part 3Part 4 Part 5Part 6Part 7Part 8Part 9Part 10 – Part 11

“Congratulations, honey bear,” your father whispered, giving you a hug. His hug knocked your graduation cap off of your head. You disentangled yourself from his embrace quickly enough to grab the hat before it hit the ground.

“Thanks, daddy.” You took a big breath and looked around at your sea of classmates in their islands of celebration with their own families. “I’m a college grad. Can you believe it?”

He smiled proudly and patted your shoulder. “I always knew you could do it. And MIT nonetheless! Now that’s something to brag about!”

“Not quite Cornell,” you teased. It was then that you noticed the tension wrinkles around his eyes. “Is something wrong?”

Keep reading


A/N: Day Six was always intended to be a bit of an opus, and I was sort of grappling with how to present it. So in an attempt not to make it 20,000 words and a bit all over the place, I’m going with a beginning, middle, end break-down (which also allows for quicker updates, huzzah hurrah!). (I’m also just arbitrarily increasing total part numbers as this goes on. Don’t mind me…) Onward, the beginning. =)

Link to: PART 1 + PART 2 + PART 3 + PART 4

+ + +

DAY SIX (Beginning)

James wakes up the morning of Day Six disoriented, hungover, and with a general sense of delayed reality.

It takes a moment to piece it all together. Ugh. Ah. Several moments. What…he thinks at nearly the same time as Please do not vomit in your mouth. There’s a noise, a call. (A voice?) He will open his eyes in a second, he’s sure. As soon as his head quits spinning.

Spinning and spinning, from the sleep, the drink (he needs to quit drinking)… but mostly from all the questions, questions, questions.

They are a plague. A menace.

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10 Days - Part 13 - AU Series

Dean x Reader

Word Count: 3,598

I don’t own any of the gifs or pictures seen here. Credit goes to those they belong to.

10 years before.

“Really? You don’t like flowers!? All girls love flowers,” the boy affirmed, unconvinced.

“Not really… I like dandelions, though,” the girl replied shrugging.

“C’mon, those aren’t even real flowers!”

“They’re way better than other flowers… You know when you give a flower to someone you’re making a promise?” She continued.

“What do you promise with dandelions?” He asked frowning.

“I won’t tell you, but you can guess…”

“What do I get if I guess right?” He asked taking her hand in his.

“Me,” she smiled sweetly.  

When this happened, Y/N let Dean in her little secret, her love for that beautiful flower.

Now, most people don’t consider dandelions as flowers, while some other see them as a bother, especially gardeners. Yeah, gardeners have usually zero patient with them because they have the ability to spread their pollen and take over an entire area and, once they do that, they’re pretty difficult to remove, because they tend to come back.

This was one of the reasons why Y/N loved them so much, because they would never go away, and if they did, they would come back. That’s a powerful thing, isn’t it?

That’s why some people see dandelions as magical and make wishes over them; that’s not what Y/N would do with them, though…

She liked to look at them and she could do that for hours, especially after she found out their special meaning.

A dandelion given to a loved one is a promise of happiness and total faithfulness.

Basically, that flower meant exactly the two things she wanted more in her life. That’s why she didn’t like any other flower; how can a rose or a sunflower be compared to a dandelion?

In Y/N’s opinion, that just wasn’t possible.

Now. Day 10.

After a sleepless night, spent crying over the past and the fear of the future, Y/N reached the church with Amelia. She was so busy thinking, that time flew without being noticed.

She was in her dress and couldn’t manage to calm down; she was nervous and tensed and anxious but, maybe, these feelings were normal before getting married, right? Her life was about to change for good, so her current situation was to be expected, right?

Well, that’s what Amelia had told her and she was desperately trying to convince herself of that.

She kept pacing around the room and her mind was filled with memories of Dean and they just wouldn’t go away, no matter how hard she was trying. And if she would manage to distract herself for a second, it was of no use because those memories would come back, more strongly than before.

Was it right to marry Mark? She cared for him, sure, but did she truly loved him?

She knew the answer to that question and it wasn’t a good one.

Her heart was so filled with her love for Dean, that there wasn’t space for anyone else. It was like with the dandelions; there was no comparison between a dandelion and another flower, and there was no comparison between Dean and any other man, no matter how wonderful that other man was, not matter if Dean had hurt her and Mark hadn’t.

No comparison.

There was an hour left before the wedding and she was going crazy. 10 years of pretending to hate Dean, 10 years suffocating her feelings and now she was on the verge of breaking down.

She had done great at first, resisting to all his attempts for so long, but after their last discussion, everything had resurfaced, everything.

It was like her brain had finally surrendered to the will of her heart and she was so unused to it, that she just didn’t know what to do.

Was it okay to give power to her heart again?

Was it okay to trust Dean again?

She was on a cliff and about to fall down in the unknown future that her heart wanted… the only thing keeping her was a sentence, the same sentence, Once a cheater, always a cheater.

These words, made of stone, were keeping her from falling, strongly.

What was she supposed to do? Sign with her heart or move back against it? She didn’t know if she wanted to stay on that cliff and be safe with Mark, or fall down into the unknown with Dean.

Luckily some help came from outside.

“Hey Y/N, I almost forgot… Dean said that this is for you,” Amelia said, handing her a small green box, interrupting her flow of thoughts.

“Is he here?” Y/N asked immediately. She wanted him to be there, there was no denying that.

“No, he just left this and said that you need to open it as soon as you can,” she answered, a little surprised by that turn of events. She just couldn’t figure out what the hell was going on… “Y/N, is there something I should know?”

“No, of course not,” she replied, taking the box in her hands and holding it strongly as if that little object contained her safety. It probably did, “Can you give me five minutes?” She then asked calmly, keeping all her anxiety inside, and her friend obliged.

She set the box on the small table in front of her and took a deep breath; then, with trembling hands, she opened it.

The lid fell from her hand the second she looked inside that box, and she cried, without managing to stop.

Dean had surprised her, yet again.

A dandelion was there, in front of her, and she took it in her hand, with so much delicacy… afraid of ruining it.

It was like her heart had grabbed a hammer and had smashed that sentence made of stone in her head, setting her free. Free to jump or free to stay. That’s when she noticed a little note inside the box, with Dean’s handwriting on it.


Apparently there was one left, back at the field.

I know what this means. This is a promise.

I’ll keep it, I swear.

I’m still waiting for you…


There was only one thing left at that point, jump off the cliff.

She did and, even if it was scary, her heart was finally okay and her mind was free of those memories, free to think again. This is how love is supposed to feel.

It was a good thing that she had always a few escape plans ready in her mind; it was like she had been training all along for this moment and she did good. Nobody saw her getting out of the church, with just her phone, her keys, and the little box; the most important things for her in that moment. A way to talk to him, a way to reach him, and a promise he had made.

She got in her car and the first thing she did was call him. She had run away from the church but her heart wasn’t beating furiously in her chest; her heart was calm, with a steady beat. Everything was good.

The phone rang twice and, the moment it stopped, she started immediately, “Dean?”

But Dean didn’t reply, a woman did.

Y/N could swear that at that moment she was praying for that to be just a regular woman, who maybe had slept with him. But the feeling of fear getting stronger inside of her, proved that it wasn’t; she was right.

“Ma’am, this is nurse Willis from the ER… Mr. Dean Winchester was in an accident and he’s being taken care of in this moment.”

Y/N didn’t know what to say, she didn’t know what to think. She had jumped from the cliff but now was all alone, Dean wasn’t there with her, “Is he okay?” 

“I don’t have that information at the moment… Are you a relative?”

Y/N wasn’t an optimistic person so her mind went into a dark place, where it shouldn’t have. Of course the nurse wasn’t going to say how he was over the phone… they don’t do that when someone is dead, they can’t risk something bad to happen to the recipient of the news. With her head filled with these ideas, she hung up her phone and started the car, angry at herself for making him wait for her for that long.

She wasn’t okay anymore… She couldn’t lose him… He had kept bugging her for more than 10 years; who knew what her life looked like without him in it? She couldn’t even begin to think about it.

She arrived at the hospital safe, without knowing how, since her eyes were so filled with tears that all she could see was blurred. She got inside the ER and everyone noticed it; it wasn’t ordinary to see a woman in a wedding dress walking through those doors, but she couldn’t care less, she was too busy praying for Dean to be okay.

She spotted a nurse and quickly reached her; her nametag read ‘Nurse Willis’. “Hi, we talked over the phone, how is Dean?” She asked immediately with a broken voice, wishing for that to be just a bad dream, wishing to wake up.

The nurse looked at her with a surprised expression, probably wondering if Dean was the groom… but then she regained a professional appearance, “Why don’t you sit down, while I ask for some update?” She offered, noticing how pale Y/N looked. But she wasn’t going to faint, her brain wouldn’t let that happened before knowing how Dean was. She just nodded and sat down, not wanting for the nurse to waste time with her.

Five minutes passed but they felt like five hours. Every second was so long… and it just wouldn’t go away…

What if she was too late? What if she would never see him again?

From all the pain she had experienced, including the one of her heartbreak, this was the worst; she was terrified and apparently her mind and her brain had made an alliance in this occasion, increasing her fear.

When Dean walked into the ER, a minute later, he just couldn’t believe his own eyes. There was a woman seated not far from him, in a white wedding dress, with her hands covering her face. Could that be her?


Not even a second later she was hugging him so strongly that he couldn’t move, while tears were leaving her eyes in a quick stream. She had a quiet cry but he could feel her trembling, he could feel tears falling on his shirt, so he hugged her back, just as strong and, when he did, her heart got so filled with relief that she broke down, in a mess of sobs. It felt so good to have his arms around her, it felt so good to know that he was okay.

She wasn’t alone in the void under that cliff anymore. They were falling together and it was the best feeling in the world.

Dean kissed her on her head, repeatedly, hoping, like never before, to finally have her back.

She broke the hug and wiped her tears away and then she smiled at him.

That smile was like a rainbow after a storm and Dean’s heart started to recompose itself, piece after piece.

“Are you okay?” She asked, trying to figure it out what had happened to him.

“Yeah, just a broken wrist,” he replied, showing his arm. He was smiling too and he thought he was never going to stop, “How did you know I was here? I didn’t tell anyone…” 

“I called you but the nurse answered and I got worried, so.”

“You called me?” He asked to clarify, interrupting her. There was only one reason she would call him on her wedding day, right?

“Yeah…” She smiled again, forgetting all the worries of the last 20 minutes. “I wanted to take you up on that promise.” 

“Really?” He asked full of hope, with wet eyes, not believing to finally have her back after 10 years.

“Yes, but if you want to cry, we should go outside because people are looking at us strangely,” she whispered, looking around.

The only thing Dean had heard was ‘Yes’. His brain had stopped at that. God, could he have ever felt happier than in this moment? He surely doubted that. He smiled widely and then, surprising her again, he kissed her, in the middle of her rambling.

She was starting to like surprises again.

They were smiling into that kiss, incapable not to show their happiness, until people started clapping, bringing them back to reality, “I think we should go…” She mouthed, making him chuckle.

She hated all this attention on her, while Dean was pretty confident so, while they were exiting the hospital, when someone would yell “Congratulation!” or “Well done!”, he would nod at them with a smirk on his face, Well done, indeed, hHe was thinking, walking with her hand in his.

She was his.

His plan had worked at the end. He had done it, not in for days like anticipated, but he couldn’t care less.

Day 348.

Y/N wasn’t nervous at all the day she married Dean.

She was calm and relaxed and she felt nothing but love in her heart; so much love at seeing him waiting for her, down the aisle, with an expression on his face that was just pure happiness, pure bliss.

Seeing her walking towards him was one of the dreams he had been too afraid to hope for, one year back. She was a vision and she was about to become his wife, and no one else’s.

Many things change in a year.

They got married outside, in a garden, and it didn’t matter what florists thought about it, dandelions were their flowers that day.

Dandelions were happiness and faithfulness and they were a promise.

Roses couldn’t be compared to that.

Day 910.

“So, how long do we wait?” Dean asked, sitting on the floor of the bathroom in front of Y/N.

“2 minutes,” she replied, setting the pregnancy test next to her, and taking a deep breath.

Having a baby was their biggest dream and Y/N would sometimes cry just at the idea. She wanted Dean to be a dad and she knew he was going to be great at it. She wanted a family.

He took her hand in his, a little gesture he was never tired of doing, and kissed it, noticing then a bruise on the back of it, “Hey, where did you get this?” He inquired of her, a little worried.

She sighed,“I slammed my hand on the countertop this morning.”

He shook his head and smiled, planting a kiss on the bruise, “It’s probably karma, for that candy you stole when you were five.” 

“You remember that?” She asked surprised, putting the thought of the pregnancy away for a minute.

“Of course I remember,” he said matter-of-factly, “It was the first thing you ever said to me.”

She frowned, “I’m pretty sure I wasn’t talking to you…” 

“Yeah, you were, you just didn’t know it yet,” he shrugged, smirking.

She smiled and then kissed him for a long moment, failing to notice for 21 seconds the little pink sign that had appeared on the test.

Dean was going to be a dad.

Day 1145.

“Dean?” Y/N called him, shaking his arm.

“Mmm,” he murmured, rubbing his eyes, “Hungry or horny?” He asked with close eyelids, being used to all her mood’s changes during the pregnancy. It was only normal for her to wake him up in the middle of the night.

“I don’t want to alarm you or anything, but I’m in labor,” she explained calmly, not wanting to worry him.

He got out of bed immediately, with wide eyes, “You feeling okay?” 

“Yeah… but I just counted 4 contractions in the last hour so we should go.”

“The last hour? Why didn’t you wake me up?” He questioned, quickly putting some clothes on.

“I’m pretty sure I’ll be unbearable in a while so I wanted you to rest before that… Are you ready to be a dad?” 

He kissed her softly, rubbing gently his hand on her belly, “I can’t wait to meet her,” he replied with a big smile.

A few hours later. Day 1146.

“C’mon Y/N, one more push!” The obstetrician asked, for the hundredth time.

Man, she sounded like a broken record! Y/N was too tired to even listen to her…

She was covered in sweat and exhausted, “I need a break…” She sighed, but then another contraction came and she had to push again. Damn contractions! They won’t give you the time to catch a breath! “You can enjoy this baby, because is the only one you gonna have!” She said to Dean angrily, panting from her efforts.

“Anything you want…” He replied nodding, not feeling his hand anymore for how strongly she was squeezing it. He didn’t mind at all, it was nothing in comparison to what his wife was experiencing.

“I won’t have sex with you ever again!” Y/N stated loudly, after a terrible contraction. God, she felt like they were tearing her apart!

But then she heard crying and she forgot all that pain; she forgot everything, focusing on that beautiful sound and on Dean’s hand in hers.

“I’m so proud of you,” He stated, kissing her forehead, filled with a thousand emotions: excitement, love, fear, proudness…

“Who wants to hold her first?” One of the nurses asked, wrapping the baby in a small blanket.

“You go first,” Y/N immediately said to her husband, “Go on…” She continued with a reassuring smile, having noticed his surprised expression.

The nurse, though, not giving him any time to act, put the baby in his arms. His heart doubled his dimension, because unable to contain all the love that he was feeling, “Hi…” He greeted his daughter sweetly, while happy tears were leaving his eyes.

Y/N couldn’t help but to cry; her husband holding her daughter, looking so happy, was the most beautiful thing she had ever seen. That’s when she decided this one wasn’t going to be their only baby and she wasn’t.

They had two more, creating that family that she had wanted, since the moment she had met her niece.

Y/N and Dean spent many, many years together; they bought the dandelion field and built a house there, next to the large tree, making that place perfect, spotless and happy again.

For full disclosure, though, I think their life together started way before Day 1…

10 years and 5 months before Day 1.

“Man, this is karma! I shouldn’t have stolen that candy when I was five,” Y/N exclaimed when a few books fell down from her locker.

“You stole a candy when you were five?” Dean asked, closing his adjacent locker and looking at her, knowing for certain that he had never seen her before.

“Did I just said that out loud?” She asked frowning, grabbing her books from the floor, “I usually keep my thoughts to myself, sorry.”

“Was it a good candy?” Dean inquired of her and she noticed how green his eyes were. They were beautiful.

“Actually yeah, really good.” 

“Then screw karma…” He shrugged, smirking.

“You know what, you kinda have a point,” She admitted, looking at the whole thing with different eyes.

“You’re new, aren’t you?” Dean asked, not able to keep his thoughts to himself, “I’m pretty sure I haven’t seen you before.”

“Yeah, I just moved here for my senior year,” she answered, “Actually, can you point me to the history class? People keep sending me in the wrong place… Or maybe it’s just my bad sense of direction.” 

“I’ll walk you there, I’ve got history too,” He replied, wanting to know more about her.

“Thank you,” she said smiling and his heart accelerated a bit, preparing itself to realize for the first time what love was.

Since this very day, in front of their adjacent lockers, their life together started and it was a very long one.

They had 19,710 days together to be exact.

Y/N was the first one to go, dying in her sleep; it was a good way to die at her age but she left Dean behind.

He lived for 4 months before reaching her and every morning, in those 119 days he spent alone, he would wake up, pick a dandelion from the field in front of his house and he would bring it to her. He would sit in front of her grave and talk for hours about their past, since there was no future anymore.

Those were by far the worst days of his life because, after a lifetime together, he wasn’t able to see her and her smile anymore.

When he died, he was buried next to her. Their children made sure of that.

To tell you the truth the gardener that works in that cemetery is still pretty pissed because, no matter how much he tried, he never managed to remove the dandelions that were circling their graves.

A few times he succeeded in his intent but eventually they would come back.

At the end he just gave up, deciding there was something beautiful about those flowers.

And there was.

Those flowers were a promise of faithfulness and happiness…

A promise Dean had kept.

The end.

What about Mark?

Jungkook Appreciation

Happy Jungkook day!! This is the last day of appreciation week but of course as always, these are just 10 reasons that Jungkook is amazing, it’s far from being every single reason but these are some of my personal favorites

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🍂 Top 20 October Fics 🍂

1.- the impossible now by Anonymous (49k)

A wish on Christmas Eve sends Louis to an alternate dimension where Harry is a member of One Direction.

2.- When The Stars Come Out by  BriaMaria (30k)

[Or the one where Louis pretends to be Gemma’s boyfriend for her horrid cousin’s wedding but fate is a nasty jerk and throws Harry in his way.].

3.-  Another Day Gettin’ Into Trouble by  whoknows [@crazyupsetter] (25k)

Harry’s drunk when the idea occurs to him. He’s also a pop star, so sometimes his drunk ideas turn into actual things instead of just ideas. The clone-a-willy kit is one of them.      

4.- Day 7: Long Road to Love Leads Back to You by  Anonymous (9k)

(Harry is feeling cranky and lonely after a long week. Louis’ offhand comment about a co-worker’s maternity leave starts a conversation that gets Harry out of his head and into his heart.).

5.- We’ll get it right in the end.  by Anonymous (53k)

Harry Styles is what the media is currently revolving around. He’s young, he’s attractive and apparently good at everything. A singer song-writer and the new face of Captain America soon encounters himself amidst a problem when he finds himself falling for the person he’s not supposed to, an elite professional escort, Louis Tomlinson.

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Beat the Clock

Rucas one shot because I’m still pissed about the Christmas episode. Lucas tries to make it home before midnight on New Years so he can give Riley her present. 

Lucas had been fidgeting on the plane. He had no idea if Riley had gotten or even read his letter to her. He felt horrible about missing secret santa. Zay had called and told him everything about all of the really awesome gifts everyone had gotten each other. Lucas had two very special gifts set aside for Riley that he was dying to give her. He did a bad thing. He didn’t tell her he would be gone. This was the first time he had gone back to Texas in two years for the Holidays. His parents thought it would be fun to surprise him and his sister at the last minute. He barely had time to tell anyone.

It was around 11pm when they landed in New York. His family was exhausted from the flight. Lucas gave the man driving the cab Riley’s address, and then his house’s address. 

“This isn’t the way home. Lucas we told you, you can see Riley tomorrow.” His mother said.

“Mom I’m sorry, I have to go see her.”

“I’ll go with him, I’m meeting some friends tonight anyways. You old farts go home, I’ll make sure he gets back fine.” Said his sister Jenna.

They got to Riley’s and Lucas raced upstairs and his sister followed. No one was inside the apartment anymore.

“Where is everyone?”

“What time is it?”

“Five of.”

“I bet they’re all on the roof! Come on!”

Lucas burst through the roof top door and saw everyone mingling and waiting for the countdown to start. Maya was standing near him.

“Ranger rick, you made it. Real difference from last year right?”

“No time, where is she?”

“Over there, looks like she saved a spot next to her for you.”

Lucas walked with a purpose over to Riley. 10. He turned her around. 9. She seemed shocked. 8. She went to say his name, but he took her face in his hands. 7. He kissed her. 6. Everyone was staring at them. He would not let go of this kiss until after the ball dropped. 5, 4, 3, 2, 1. Happy New Year!

He let go of her and smiled innocently. She just looked at him, still in shock that he made it there in time.

“Lucas, why-”

“Sorry, I just wanted to end and start the year in a good way.”

“By kissing me in front of everyone? Like that?”

“Aren’t you a little happy to see me?”

“I’m a lot happy to see you.” She hugs him. “Come on, we need to talk.”

“You wanna do this now?”

“No time like the present. We can go to my room.”

“Will your parents appreciate that, it being so late?”

“My parents won’t be home until after 1am. Come on.”

They sat in the bay window in silence for a few minutes.

“Maya sent me her secret Santa gift in the mail.”

“Oh yeah? What was it?”

“A painting of you. I’m going to hang it up once I’m home.”

“You haven’t been home yet?”

“No, I wanted to get here before midnight to be with you…look Riley, I didn’t go to Texas to get out of secret Santa, Zay told me that’s what he said, but he only said that because-”

“I know why he said it. What I still can’t wrap my head around is the fact that you didn’t tell me you were going. I mean you explained it a little in your letter, but-”

“So you did get it, and you read it.”

“Of course I did, it was very sweet. But you hurt me Lucas. This was our first holiday together as a couple. I wanted it to be special.”

“So did I, and I’ve been sick over what I did. I should have manned up told you. Can I give you your gifts?”

“Gifts, as in plural?”

“Yeah. Here, open this one first.”

Lucas handed her a box, and she unwrapped it. She gazed at the object inside and took it out. She looked at Lucas who seemed to start having tears in his eyes.

“It’s a photo album of just us. It’s pictures we’ve taken, and I asked some friends if they had any of us, you know real candid ones. Open it, see this one Maya took when you fell into my lap, and oh remember, the librarian took this one of us on her Polaroid. That’s my favorite one. Yogi took this one of us when the sprinklers went off. We took this one together when we were on top of the horse. These are from Texas…” A couple tears dropped onto the pictures. Riley closed the book.

“Why are you getting so emotional?” She asked concerned, putting her hand on his.

“Because I know I screwed up, and I realized that you could have gotten so mad at me and told me it was over, and then we wouldn’t have anymore memories like these, and it made me sad.”

“Why is the library picture one of your favorites?”

“Because that was when I knew I always wanted you around. Then like the next day Missy asked me to the movies and you got so annoyed. I knew we liked each other but it felt like we were playing a game.”

“I wasn’t ready to be alone with you yet, but I knew I didn’t want you alone with anyone else. Why did you put pictures of Texas in here? That wasn’t exactly a great time.”

“I put those in there because that was when I knew I wanted to quit playing games and I wanted you to be my girlfriend, and then you broke my heart when you told me you wanted to be like brother and sister.”

“Again, why are those in here?”

“Because the ones of us dancing were cute, and someone snapped a picture of you by my side after I fell off the bull. It’s important to remember these times too. Open it back up, see these are more recent. We took this selfie on the bus ride home from the lodge, and then you fell asleep on me so I had to take a picture of that. Oh we took this during culture week, you looked really pretty at the fair. We took this that day we went out for pizza at that new place and you kissed me on the cheek with all that sauce on your mouth, and then this one we took when that director came, and we took this one on Thanksgiving, your sweater was adorable.”

“Lucas, this is such a thoughtful gift.”

“I’ve been putting it together for months. Kind of like a scrapbook.”

“I didn’t even know about some of these pictures.”

“Here, I got you something else too.”

“This is a much smaller box.”

Riley opened up the little box and saw a rose gold bracelet. There was a few little charms on it. Some cats, a couple hearts, the word joy. He turned it over in her hands. He got it engraved. She read it out loud.

“To my one and only princess, love Lucas. Huh, you’ve been putting that word on a lot of things lately. The letter you sent me said you loved me on it too.”

“Because that’s how I feel Riley, I love you. Do you like the bracelet?”

“Like it, I’m never taking it off.” He clasps it onto her wrist. “These are the most amazing things anyone has ever gotten me. Did you really think I was going to break up with you because you didn’t tell me you left?”

“We hadn’t talked, which isn’t like us, so yeah I was worried.”

“Lucas, you may have hurt me, but I love you too much to let you go that easily.”

“You love me too?”

“Of course I do. Thank you for these things.”

“You’re welcome.”

They start kissing. She wipes a few of tears away, and looks at him.

“I turned you into a true romantic.”

“I think I was always this way, but you definitely brought it out in me.”

He kissed her again. Everything felt right again. He could stay there with her forever.

“Riley Matthews!” Cory entered the room.

“Look who made it home dad, Lucas!”

“It is almost 1:30 in the morning. I think it’s time to call it a night, don’t you agree Mr. Friar?”

“Totally, sir, uh goodnight, happy new year.” Cory leaves. “Happy new year princess.” He kisses her and leaves.

Riley flipped through more of the photo album that Lucas put together for her. There were so many good memories in there. She couldn’t wait to keep making more with him.


Cover Story: The Mind-Bending Benedict Cumberbatch

His obsessive fans have turned Benedict Cumberbatch into “the Internet’s boyfriend,” and next month’s Doctor Strange will only stoke the flame. Starring as another alienated genius, this one with superpowers, the actor reveals his own attraction to the edge.

When Benedict Cumberbatch was 19 years old, he got good and lost in the Himalayas. No longer a schoolboy in tailcoat and boater, not yet the internationally known star of Sherlock and one of the world’s most unlikely sex symbols, he had taken a gap year before university to get a glimpse of life beyond A-level exams and Sunday chapel.

In a hillside town near Darjeeling, he taught English to Tibetan monks, giving himself a crash course in improvisation as he conjured up instructional games. On weekends off, he would seek adventure: white-water rafting down the Kali Gandaki River, traversing the desert province of Rajasthan. (It was monsoon season everywhere else.) But the mountains beckoned.

So he and three friends caught a bus from Kathmandu. Sherpas were expensive, and they were students traveling on the cheap, so they decided, extremely unwisely, to wing it. Altitude sickness derailed them one by one: their group of four became a group of three, then a group of two. By the third night, Cumberbatch recalls, “I started to have really weird, fucked-up dreams, and felt things were happening in my sleep. I wasn’t sure if I was conscious or awake.”
He and his friend reached a spiritual fork in the road, which happened to be a literal fork in the road: up or down? They chose up. And that’s when they got utterly, hopelessly, bewilderingly lost. They ran out of biscuits. They drank rainwater squeezed out of moss, because they’d read it was safer than river water. As night fell, with their flashlights losing power, they pressed on through the thicket, until they spotted a corrugated-steel roof in the distance: salvation?
Turns out it was an abandoned barn. They threw themselves belly-down on straw and drifted to sleep. That night, they had even more fucked-up dreams, each of them convinced that someone—or something—was rifling through their bags. But when they woke up, there was no one.

The next morning, they followed the river, hoping it would lead to civilization. They nearly broke their necks slipping down moss-covered boulders. The alpine fog gave way to forest, and leeches stuck to their ankles. They found a path with fresh yak droppings: a good sign. Finally, the trees thinned, and they came to a clearing of terraced pastures and log cabins that looked like something out of The Sound of Music. Running toward the inhabitants, they mimed the international sign for hunger (fingers to open mouths) and were served the best-tasting meal they’d ever had—unwashed greens and a bowl of eggs—after which Cumberbatch immediately got dysentery.

“Ah,” the actor sighs 21 years later, “you take the highs with the lows.”

Cumberbatch is recounting this tale in the lobby of Shutters on the Beach, a five-star hotel in Santa Monica. He’s been staying here all week, doing pickups—minor shots after principal photography is done—for Doctor Strange, the reportedly $165 million fantasy film, in which he plays one of Marvel’s more mind-bending superheroes. He tosses his sunglasses and trilby on the table, then reclines on a canvas-wrapped chair in an off-white T-shirt and trousers, gazing blearily at the bicyclists and roller skaters out on the boardwalk. It’s 11 A.M., and he’s working on no sleep.

Seriously, none. He was out shooting an exterior night-time sequence until 7:30 in the morning, acting opposite co-stars who weren’t actually there, punctuated by long stretches in the makeup chair during which he struggled to stay awake. “It’s probably, hours-wise, the craziest day’s work, if you can call it a day, I’ve ever, ever done,” he says over an iced coffee. A tiny sparrow has flown into the hotel lobby and is darting around underfoot, its discombobulation mirroring the 40-year-old actor’s. He offers a very English disclaimer: “Fluidity, accuracy, intelligence, humor—all these things might be very odd today. I don’t really know who I am.”

And yet he proceeds to talk in a “Flight of the Bumblebee” sprint, like Sherlock Holmes briskly deconstructing a crime scene. (“Why, it’s obvious.”) On-screen, Cumberbatch’s motormouthed precision and dagger-sharp blue eyes can read as otherworldly, as if he were a slightly more advanced human life-form than the rest of us. If he’s been pigeonholed, it’s for playing socially challenged geniuses, people who compute more than relate: the World War II code breaker Alan Turing (in The Imitation Game, for which he was nominated for an Oscar in 2015), the WikiLeaks mastermind Julian Assange (The Fifth Estate), and, of course, Sherlock, whom he’s played since 2010 in the wildly popular BBC series.

Of Memes and Ben

Being Benedict Cumberbatch means living under a magnifying glass, like a fingerprint under Sherlock’s gaze. Nearly everything he does is captured, catalogued, and obsessed over by an ever widening rabble of fans. Some call themselves Cumberbitches. Or, slightly more P.C. (but not much), Cumberbabes. Perhaps it’s his accentuated Britishness—that Dickensian name, that Brontëan pallor—that renders him a kind of imaginary dress-up doll, a thinking woman’s fetish object. If Laurence Olivier had lived in the age of Tumblr, he might have been the “Internet’s boyfriend,” too.

A good chunk of the Web is now devoted to Cumbergazing, or Cumberfantasizing, or straight-up Cumberstalking. The @Cumberbitches Twitter account, dedicated to “the appreciation of the high cheekboned, blue eyed sexbomb that is Benedict Timothy Carlton Cumberbatch,” has 256,000 followers. There’s a bustling Cumberbitch group on Reddit, which celebrates “ThrowBatch Thursdays.” outlined the “8 Essential Qualities of a Cumberbitch,” which include holding “an unofficial bachelor’s degree in Cumber-ology.” In 2014, The London Review of Books published a poem in which the author imagines meeting Cumberbatch at a party. He’s huge in China, where fans refer to Holmes and Watson as Curly Fu and Peanut. A baker in Indonesia makes “cumbercupcakes,” complete with edible figurines.


The Cumberfrenzy can be traced to July 25, 2010, when the first episode of Sherlock aired in the U.K., watched by 7.5 million viewers. Twitter went berserk. Something about Sherlock’s sexlessness—his nearly sociopathic focus on solving crimes, to the exclusion of normal human relations—made him that much more irresistible, as if just the right woman could turn him toward carnality.

Or the right man: the series is laden with innuendo about Sherlock and John Watson, played by a cutely befuddled Martin Freeman. Forums of erotic “Johnlock” fan fiction have filled in the blanks. (From a story called “First Times”: “All it took was a glance, and it was like the dam finally broke. They couldn’t hold back anymore. John had stopped, mid-breath, and then his lips were on Sherlock’s.”)

Cumberbatch greets the fan deluge—some of it creative, some of it creepy—with a practiced amusement. On my way to meet him in Santa Monica, I check online for the latest haul. A Twitter user has posted: “Sometimes when I’m sad I picture a shirtless Benedict Cumberbatch slowly eating an apple fritter. Try it!”

When I read this to Cumberbatch, he blushes on cue and says, “Have you tried that? It wouldn’t work for me.” He laughs, a little uneasily. “I’m glad I’m bringing a ray of sunshine to an otherwise dull day, being imagined eating fritters shirtless. But, I don’t know, it makes me giggle. I don’t look at myself in the mirror and go, ‘Yeah, absolutely! I see what they’re saying!’ I see all my faults and everything that I’ve always seen as my faults.”

Strange Days

Of course, not all the attention is so benevolent. Obsession breeds possessiveness, which can breed something darker. Last year, Cumberbatch married the stage director Sophie Hunter, and they had a son, Christopher (nicknamed Kit). “There are people who believe that my wife is a P.R. stunt and my child is a P.R. stunt,” he says, unsure if he should even be bringing this up—he knows that there’s no arguing with conspiracy theorists. “I think really it’s to do with the idea that the ‘Internet’s boyfriend’ can’t actually belong to anyone else but the Internet. It’s impossible he belongs to anyone but me. And that’s what stalking is. That’s what obsessive, deluded, really scary behavior is.”

Doctor Strange will surely add to the hysteria. The film, which opens November 4, will do little to dispel Cumberbatch’s reputation as the go-to guy for super-brains. (As he’s quick to point out, he also enjoys playing “out-and-out dummies,” like the love-struck loser Little Charles in August: Osage County.)

Created in 1963, by the same Marvel team that concocted Spider-Man, Doctor Stephen Vincent Strange is a world-famous neurosurgeon whose healing hands are ruined in a car accident. Desperate to regain his skills and the material luxuries they afford, he travels to the exotic city of Kamar-Taj, where he meets a guru known as the Ancient One, played by Tilda Swinton. Trained in the mystic arts, he is reborn, in Cumberbatch’s description, as “the primary sorcerer on earth and the defender of our realm against other-dimensional threats.”
So much for out-and-out dummies.

If his brainiac roles have defined him, he insists that’s just because those are “the characters that pop. They’re the characters that people are in awe of, because they’re a little bit beyond us.” He might as well be describing his own curious appeal: part Mr. Darcy, part cyborg. And yet he isn’t a drag. “Benedict is an extremely nice person to work with,” Swinton says. “Engaged, quick-witted, enthusiastic, kind and relaxed, up for a giggle and properly companionable on long days, self-sufficient, concentrated, yet chock-full of fun.” (Swinton’s casting has drawn accusations of whitewashing, since the character in the comics is an Asian man.)

Cumberbatch is no comic-book geek, though he has trod in fantastical realms before, as the genetically bred Khan (another superhuman!) in Star Trek into Darkness. When some journalists at a Star Trek event told him a few years ago that he’d make a perfect Doctor Strange, he replied, “Doctor What?” He was “lukewarm” about the material at first, thinking the comic too dated: 60s occultism meets Cold War science fiction meets Orientalist pulp. But it put him in the mind of his sojourning teenage self, reading The Tao of Physics and searching for “the godhead within.”


And so, last fall, Cumberbatch caught a plane to Kathmandu, two days after finishing his panic-causing run as Hamlet at London’s Barbican Centre. (Advance tickets sold out within hours, leaving salivating fans to line up down the street.) It was six months after the Nepalese earthquake that had killed more than 8,000 people, and his first time there since his misbegotten trek in the Himalayas. This time, he was the antithesis of a man lost in the wilderness, searching for signs of humanity—humanity would now find him whether he liked it or not.

The first few days, he and the cameras passed through the city unnoticed, thanks to Strange’s “desperate caveman” look: scraggly beard, shambolic clothes. “We did a lot of guerrilla stuff, just walking through markets,” Cumberbatch recalls. The day he arrived, he saw a riverside cremation. Shooting atop the Monkey Temple, he watched “30 Tibetan women wandering around the central stupa with the all-sensitive eye in the middle, dragging their hands on prayer wheels, muttering their puja, their prayers.” It was enchanted, peaceful. But then word got out, and the crew was ambushed by locals with cameras yelling, “Benedict! Benedict!”—or, more often, “Sherlock! Sherlock!”

“There were throngs of people,” recalls Chiwetel Ejiofor, his co-star in Doctor Strange and 12 Years a Slave. “I didn’t know that Sherlock was big in Kathmandu, but apparently I was wrong.”

At one point—preserved on YouTube—Cumberbatch stuck his bearded face out of a window overlooking Lalitpur’s Patan Durbar Square and waved to the crowds; shouts of “Say cheese!” are underscored by a distinctly female group wail.

Time ran the headline -


Actors’ Actor

Nothing from his upbringing suggested that his chosen craft would inspire this level of fanaticism. He grew up in Kensington, the only child of Timothy Carlton and Wanda Ventham, both working actors who made careers in commercial theater and British sitcoms. (Timothy Carlton dropped the “Cumberbatch” from his stage name, thinking it too fussy. His son, after starting his career as Benedict Carlton, did the opposite, on advice from an agent.) Ventham, who has a daughter from a previous marriage, was a fixture on the science-fiction series UFO and the BBC comedy Only Fools and Horses. She was a stunner. “Whenever they wanted a glamour girl or someone rather beautiful, they wheeled in Wanda,” says her longtime acquaintance Una Stubbs, who now plays Sherlock’s doddering landlady, Mrs. Hudson; Stubbs recalls running into Ventham on the street and gossiping as four-year-old Benedict tugged at his mother’s dress.

Through his parents, he observed the profession’s ups and downs: “I saw the fallow periods as much as I saw when they were ticking along nicely and getting work.” Dragged to see his mother in yet another chintzy Feydeau farce, he would sniff, “If I see another one of those, I’m going to have to disown you.”

Nevertheless, his parents worked doubly hard to send him to Harrow, the elite boarding school. (His paternal grandmother helped with tuition.) Harrow was “obscenely pampering and privileged,” he says—alumni include Cecil Beaton and Winston Churchill—and as the son of actors he didn’t always fit in among the peers and princes.

But his first two years there he landed two big Shakespearean roles, both female. “The first time I stepped onstage in front of an all-male public-school crowd was dressed up as queen of the fairies, Titania, with a Cleo Laine wig and a pineapple crown.”

Playing Rugby and cricket insulated him from taunts. But in his final years he dropped sports to focus on acting and painting; his classmates, he says, “presumed that because I was into art I was definitely gay.”

After his mind-opening pilgrimage east, he returned to study drama at the University of Manchester and the London Academy of Music and Dramatic Art. He worked at a steady clip, playing Stephen Hawking in a TV biopic and earning an Olivier nomination as Tesman in a West End production of Hedda Gabler. But he envisioned something bigger than his parents’ journeyman careers: “I wanted to do things that they didn’t get the chance to.”

Now that Sherlock has made that possible, he may not be long for the role. Having filmed Season Four, which premieres in January, he does not expect to return to the character “for the immediate future.” Sherlock made him a meme; The Imitation Game made him an A-lister; Doctor Strange may yet make him a mega-star.

Role with It

Because he resembles a sun-deprived habitué of the London Library, you wouldn’t peg Cumberbatch as a daredevil, but he has always gravitated toward the edge: motorbiking, skydiving. “He’s definitely a bit of an adrenaline junkie,” says his best friend, Adam Ackland, whom he met while working on the 2008 BBC drama The Last Enemy. (Their production company, SunnyMarch, is developing several Cumberbatch vehicles, including an adaptation of the 1939 suspense novel Rogue Male.)

Acting, for Cumberbatch, is another form of thrill-seeking, a way to scale Himalayan summits of the psyche. Hamlet was a kind of Everest, one he seems to have conquered. As the Telegraph critic wrote, “Cumberbatch admirers can take heart, his female devotees are entitled to swoon: in this trial of his acting strength, he emerges, unquestionably, victorious.”

To understand his taste for the extreme, you have to go back to 2004, to a near-death experience even more harrowing than his misadventure in the Himalayas. He was in KwaZulu-Natal, South Africa, filming the BBC mini-series To the Ends of the Earth, and went scuba-diving in Sodwana Bay with two of his co-stars, Theo Landey and Denise Black. As they were returning at night, along a stretch of highway notorious for carjackings, they pulled over with a flat tire. Six armed men jumped them and took their cell phones and credit cards, then forced them back into the car at gunpoint and drove. At one point, Cumberbatch was stuffed in the trunk. “Ben kicked and screamed blue-bloody murder,” Landey recalls.
The robbers stopped under a bridge, where the actors were tied up with their own shoelaces, crouching execution-style. Convinced these were his last moments, Cumberbatch pleaded for his life. After several minutes of silence, he realized the men had left. The actors managed to untie themselves and wandered along the highway until they stumbled across some local women who lent them their phones to call for help.

Rather than retreating into himself, as some might after a trauma, Cumberbatch says the ordeal only intensified his lust for adventure. “I was definitely more impatient to live a life less ordinary,” he says. “I wanted to swim in the sea that I saw the next morning. If you feel you’re going to die, you don’t think you’re going to have all those sensations again—a cold beer, a cigarette, the feel of sun on your skin. All those hit you as firsts again. It is, in a way, a new beginning. But we were on our way back from the first weekend of a scuba-diving training course, so it wasn’t as if I was insular before that. I think it just made me run at it a bit more recklessly.”

The past two years have tempered, or perhaps transmuted, his need for adrenaline. When I ask where he wants to find his next thrill, he says, “It’s a sappy answer, but the truth is I want to seek some thrills at home.” He met Hunter almost two decades ago, at the Edinburgh Festival Fringe, but it took them years to get together. After a courtship that they miraculously managed to keep out of the tabloids, they married Valentine’s Day 2015 on the Isle of Wight. Hunter was pregnant with Kit, who was born that June, two weeks before Cumberbatch began rehearsals for Hamlet. He has since given up motorbiking, to say nothing of jumping out of airplanes.

“Having a baby—it’s massive,” he says. “And on a very unexpected level. Suddenly I understood my parents much more profoundly than I ever had before.” Fatherhood gave him counter-intuitive insight into the most challenging role in the theatrical canon. “I was expecting, with Hamlet, that it might be a hindrance to be a father, because it’s all about being a son. But it’s the opposite. You understand much more about being a son, becoming a father.”

Swinton says, “My fondest impression of him is as a new husband besotted by his girl, and a new father enchanted by his boy.” She doesn’t worry that fame will spoil him: “I think he knows that he wants—and has—a life first and foremost, that his life suits and nourishes him and that it makes the world go round.”

Speaking of which, Cumberbatch has to catch a plane—back to London for a few days, before a much-needed Italian holiday with Sophie and Kit. The sparrow is still flitting around the hotel lobby, suddenly alighting on the chair behind me. “Jesus Christ!,” I yell, embarrassingly startled. But Cumberbatch, unruffled, hops up from his chair, walks over to the terrace door, and props it open with a rubber wedge.

“That might give the bird a chance,” he says, backlit by sunlight.

It seems like a metaphor for something, but Cumberbatch is no trapped bird in need of rescue. Instead, it occurs to me, I’ve just witnessed a would-be meme, a Cumberbitch fantasy in the making.

Sometimes when I’m sad I picture a sleepless Benedict Cumberbatch freeing a tiny sparrow. Try it!

by Michael Schulman. Photographs by Jason Bell. Styled by Jessica Diehl. October 4, 2016 8:00 am (x)

epicfallenismine  asked:

Happy New Year! (From where I am, anyway :P). I was a tad confused at first because it says on the page that the ask box is closed but you said you were still taking requests? Hope this is alright ^^" How about Ren confessing to a female s/o and sharing their first kiss on New Year's Eve? :')

Happy New Year! Yeah, thanks again for bringing that to my attention. I’ve taken care of it! Please enjoy!

Ren walked out to the balcony, he had a feeling he’d find her there. She’s been looking up to the night sky, lost in thoughts. Her eyes scintillated with the stars. A most beautiful picture. He removed his jacket and draped it over her shoulders.

“You’ll catch a cold.” Ren smiled, leaning against the cool railing. 

She smiled, his jacket felt so warm and it smelled just like him. She looked back up to the stars and smiled, “Don’t you think night’s like tonight are beautiful? The sky is so clear that you can see even the tiniest stars…And the view of the city… It’s amazing.”

He noticed the wind lightly blowing through her hair and it nearly made his heart stop, “Not as beautiful as you are tonight but I agree. This is an amazing view.”

She blushed, hoping he didn’t noticed but of course he had.

“How much longer until the clock strikes midnight?” she asked.

He looked at his watch and smiled, “Five minutes.”

She turned to face him, a big child-like smile plastered on her face “Can we countdown together?”

“Of course. But first, there was something I really wanted to get off my chest before the New Year.” he said. His heart thumped against his chest so hard he could feel it in his ears!

She nodded, “Okay..”

The idol took a deep breath and smiled, “____, from the moment I laid eyes on you I experienced a change within me. The more time I got to spend with you the more I realized what that change was. Tonight, I want to lay all my cards on the table. And  I want to admit that… ____, I love you! And there is no one I’d rather spend the last night of the year with. You don’t have to answer right away but I’d like to know how you feel about me too.”

“I-I do!” she answered eagerly. “I-I mean…”

Ren blinked, “You do….What?”

“Y-You know.” she stuttered, looking away to hide her blushing face.

He shook his head, “No I don’t know and I need you to tell me. Please, time is running out.”

She looked him right in the eye with a look of determination and flushed cheeks, “I do too! I-I love you too!”

He smiled, releasing a relieved sigh and glanced his watch. 

“Count with me,” he whispered, “Don’t forget to make a wish.”

“10 ,9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1!”

The fireworks began to sound, Ren watched her close her eyes as she made her wish. He’d already made his but apparently luck hadn’t been on his side. Or so he thought. She wrapped her arms around his neck and suddenly pulled him into a kiss… She’d never admit it but she’d wished for the courage to kiss him. He broke the kiss and looked into her eyes, “Happy New Year.”

Originally posted by x3avrilkaa

Gino, 5'9’’. I went through my couch a week ago while cleaning and found my old school ID! It expired last year so I need a new one but I was looking at the picture and was like “Damn I was that big?”

Left I was 350lbs in 2010 and right is a pic taken a few weeks ago at 250lbs.

What I did first was in 2009 just start walking around my neighborhood and eating less. I didnt eat healthy real, I just controlled my portion sizes. But me becoming sick with my illnesses I have now, made me postpone my weight loss. I had to quite school for awhile and also quit my job at Target where I was working 40+ hours a week. 

I got back in school in 2010 (when the ID was taken) but I also spent the whole year in depression. From being overweight and being very very sick. 

In 2011 one of my all time heroes, Dwayne Johnson aka The Rock came back to WWE and I saw how much mass he put on from the last time he was in the WWE (2003 or 2004 I believe) I thought to myself “Holy fucking shit!” and was like “Thats it, I need to get me ass in gear”

So in February of 2011 I decided to start again with my weight loss. In a span of 8 months just about, I dropped 40lbs by walking, going to the gym for the treadmill, doing 15 minute exercises each night at home, and counting calories. I ate no more than 1800 calories a day but made sure to eat at least 1600. 

Then in late 2011 I wanted to get more into fitness so I started to do P90X. I bought the whole program and did 2 and ½ rounds. By the summer of 2012 I lost another 40lbs making it a total of 80lbs I lost. Then in laste 2012 I bought Insanity. I still did P90X here or there, but I did 1 and ½ rounds of Insanity. Then by summer 2013 I also did a P90X and Insanity hybrid. By late 2013, I say around October, I finally reached 100lbs lost, being at 250lbs. 

Since October I have started a new regimen called Intermittent Fasting. I fast every day from 8pm till the next day at noon (12pm). From noon till 8pm I eat and make sure to reach at least 2000 calories a day. I have all my meals, Breakfast, lunch, dinner, and snacks in between. I also incorporate Fasted Strength Training at the Gym 3-4 times a week with a little cardio. Not much at all. Then I also do Macro-nutrient Cycling. Macro-nutrient Cycling is when you take your macros (fats, carbs, proteins) and cycle them each day. I eat an equation of Fats < Carbs <Protein on Gym days and Carbs < Fats < Protein on rest days. What that means is on gym days I make sure my fats are really low (really no more than 50g) and my carbs are moderate (around 100 to 150g) and my protein is high (around 200g). On rest days I make sure my carbs are low (no more than 100g), my fats are moderate (around 100-120g) and my protein is high (still around 200g). 

Its been working for me and I have lost inches, am now in a XL shirt and hoodie. But of course the scale plays with my mind…saying I have gained weight. So dont listen to the scale lol. I have gained mass and at the same time my fat is burning. 

I lost all this weight…while battling illnesses. Just in 2013 alone I was hospitalized FIVE times. Its a record for me. lol. Just dont give up. I still have a ways to go till I am comfortable with who I am. I still have my body hate days, but I never give up. I am so much better than I was 4 years ago. 

Keep fighting. 

If you want to follow me, please do! I love new followers and answering any questions about my weight loss and illnesses. I have other photos of myself on my blog taking a look back over the years at my progress :)

Take care!

—– Follow here for more weight loss, fitness, and healthy eating before and after!
Lanyard Dreams pt 8

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 Friends POV | Part 4 Your POV | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7

Hey guys! Absolutely obsessed with this part and I hope you guys will be too! I chose to do like your POV and your friends POV for all you cake girls out there (: Thank you for reading and talk to you soon!

Hit up my ask and tell me what you think or to just say hiiiiii! <3

- M xx


Heart racing.

Palms sweaty.

Head spinning.

You couldn’t focus.

Luke and Calum just asked you and your friend to join them on their worldwide arena tour. What. The. Fuck. Feeling tongue-tied at the moment you didn’t know what to say. Of course you wanted to go but you and your friend were just two girls going to school like any normal 20 something year olds.

“Wow. Wait. Are you sure?” You blurt out while blinking ferociously.

“Yea I mean….we’re like kinda annoying and weird and-” Your friend was cut off by Calum.

“Shut up of course we’re sure. We wouldn’t have asked you both to join us if we weren’t 100% sure.”

Taking a big gulp in you had to explain to them that you were in school working for a degree you’ve basically have been going at for almost 4 years now and you were so close to the finish line.

“Well…you guys know that we’re in school and it might be hard for us to find time to go to certain places and we don’t want to disappoint you guys.”

“Yea and we just don’t really have the means to travel to a new city or hell a new country or continent!” Your friend chimes in right behind you.

“Did you really think we would make you pay for all this by yourselves? Of course you’ll be getting the tickets for free and we would pay for the airfare or whatever you need to travel by. Trust us we got you.” Luke says while staring at you trying to almost persuade you to say yes just with his eyes.

You wanted to say yes with every bone in your body. You were already starting to imagine all the nights you would spend with them on the bus, in and out of hotels, waking up in a new city with a new skyline to admire through the tour bus windows. It all seemed so ideal. Deciding to take a leap of faith and with the hopes that this would transcend you and Luke’s relationship to a whole new level, you turn to look at him. He looked so worried that you would say no. His brows furrowed, chewing profusely on his lipring. You choose to finally put his mind at ease after the five minutes that you haven’t given him an answer yet.

“Fine. Let’s do it!” You exclaim while raising your arms in almost a victorious manner.

“FUCKKKK YESSS!” Your friend shouts while jumping into your arms.

Calum and Luke’s face lit up like the sky during the fourth of July.

“WOoooooOOooooOOOo!” Luke hollers while lifting you off your feet and into the air.

“Jesus christ you almost had me pissing my pants there!” Calum says while hugging your friend and swaying side to side.

“Boys 30 minutes is all I can really give you then we really need to head out!” Dave yells from a distance, loading the tour bus.

“We have a couple more shows before we end the North American leg and then we head to Europe. This will give you guys a couple weeks to think about if this is what you really want.” Luke says with hopeful eyes.

Of course this is what you wanted. You wanted nothing more to be touring the world with Luke by your side. You just hoped that school and everything would work out smoothly. You knew these last 2 semesters were crucial and would be a lot of work. Would you even have time for all of this? Trying to push off the stress you attempt to enjoy your last moments with Luke.

“Well were gonna head over here…” Luke says in an American accent while tugging on your arm to move his direction. Calum and your friend begin to walk off the opposite direction.

Finally getting you alone in your last moments together before 5sos headed off to the next city Luke sits you down on a bench outside of the venue. He takes you by the hips placing you on his lap and then positioning your body to face him. Still wearing his UNIF tank decked in all black, hair tousled into a messy ponytail he just admires you for a second almost as if he was taking a picture of you with his mind.

“I had a great couple days with you.” Luke says in the most serious tone you’ve ever heard him in.

“Me too. Thank you for everything, really.” You say smiling like a fucking idiot.

Without saying anything for the next 2 minutes Luke hugs you from behind resting his face on your small back. Silent. Everything was so right. It was as if this was meant to happen. You still couldn’t believe this. You couldn’t believe what happened over the past 48 hours could have potentially changed your whole life.

“I can’t wait to see you again. I hope you can come on tour with us. It would be honestly so sick.” Luke says

“I’m gonna try my best.” Trying to stay optimistic by the whole thing you give Luke a faltering smile.

“Well where do we go from here? Luke questions

You had no idea. You wanted to take things slow and let everything fall into place naturally. This was a good start. You look at Luke.

“We will just have to see.” You say with a genuine smile. Luke reciprocated that smile back.

“I should probably get going. See you soon then?” Luke says so innocently.

“See you soon.”

Both standing in front of one another face to face now Luke reaches down grabbing your chin and lifting it up as high as he could. You feel his cold rings on your skin. Then matching your level he leans down placing a kiss on your lips. Soft. Delicate. Effortless. And exactly how you wanted to end these perfect two days.

As Luke walks off to the bus he turns for just one more seconds and flashes a smile that would forever be engraved into your memory.

He had you in every beautiful way possible.


Friends POV with Calum

Walking the opposite way of your friend and Luke, Calum takes you to the side of building. The sun was starting to set illuminating the sky a pastel orange. Calum leans against the wall of the building. You stand in front of him.

“You better come on tour with us!” Calum says bluntly

“I’m really going to try I swear. It’s just school and every-“

“No shut up. You’re gonna come! Just think about how awesome it would be. Come on…come on.” Calum glares his puppy dog eyes at you making you feel every butterfly in your stomach awaken.

“I said I’ll try!” You exclaim while chuckling at how desperate Calum was.

Calum drapes both of his arms over both of your shoulders drawing your body closer to his. Now in between both of his legs he lays your head on his chest. He begins pushing your hair back out of your face and behind your ears like he always did. You could hear and feel his heartbeat almost like the bass pounding out of speakers. He was real to you. You spent so long wondering how this moment would feel but now you knew. You weren’t just a fan to him anymore. You were more than that.

“What are we gonna do now?” You say wanting to know more about what the future held between you two.

“We’ll take things slow…if that’s what you want.” Calum says shooting his eyes to meet yours.

“I mean if that’s what you want.” You say shrugging.

Both of you were so sure of one another even after just two days together. Now standing there in silence you take in everything. The illuminating sky reflecting off of Calum’s brown eyes. Your shadows now painted on the ground. The sound of his heart. The sound of yours beating at the same time, at the same pace. Everything was perfect.

“They’re probably wondering where I am now. See you in a bit?” Calum says looking down at you doing that stupid squishy puppy face he does.

“See you in a bit Cal.” You say flashing him a smile and then hugging him a little tighter.

Peeling you off of him he held you by your arms pulling you in for one more hug. Then he slowly inches down to your eye level staring at you one more time while smiling. His face so close to yours you could feel the heat radiating off of his face onto yours. Connecting his lips with yours for one final kiss your head begins to spin, but in the good way. This is was everything. Calum was everything.

As he walks off towards the bus he turns around one more time giving you a stupid wave and then sprinting to the bus.


Meeting back up with your friend to finally leave Tampa you both let out a big sigh.

“Wow. Girl what the fuck just happened? And when are we gonna wake up?”

“I don’t know. This is complete insanity. Like I ….I just don’t…even know what to think.”

Walking to your car that had been sitting in the lot two days too long you both open the door. Turing up the A/C you sit there for a moment reflecting on the two perfect days you just had and about the amazing months coming if you actually go on tour with Luke and the rest of 5sos.

Just as you turn the ignition to your car you and your friends phones vibrate. You open a text from Luke.

“I better see your ass in Europe :-) xx”

“Awww Luke just texted me” You say smiling stupidly at your phone.

“Cal just texted me ‘Come on tour with us. We have beer. See you soon xx’”

You and your friend laugh still thinking that this is all just some sick joke.

Daniel in the Den

Dan first met Phil in the sandbox when he was 4 years old. 4 years later Phil left without an explanation. 8 years after that they meet again and Phil explains why. It’s a friendship with a twist.

Genre: Fluff, with a lil’ bit of angst.

Word Count: 1528

Warnings: Swearing??

A/N: The title has nothing to do with the fic, I was just listening to Bastille as I wrote this. Also, sorry for not posting in ages, but I hope this makes up for it!


Dan first met Phil when he was 4. He was playing in the sandbox at preschool when there was suddenly another castle next to his and a boy sitting by him. The boy had black hair and blue eyes and introduced himself as ‘Phil’. Over the course of the day, Dan and Phil became best friends. They sat next to each other at snack time, they huddled in the story corner and read picture books to each other and held hands as they napped.

Keep reading

A Jack Gilinsky Imagine

Y/N’s POV 

It’s been a few months since I moved here to New York. I live in the city so it’s always loud, but I’ve gotten used to it. Tonight is New Year’s Eve, and I’m really excited to watch the ball drop from Times Square instead of my TV. I was going to meet up with my friends and we were gonna get our spot. I put on my skinny jeans and a nice top. Then I threw on my scarf and jacket. My hair was curled and I grabbed my phone. There was a knock on the door. I ran over and opened it.

“Y/N! Let’s get going. We want a good spot for tonight.” Y/F/N said.

I shut the door behind me and we began our walk to the lobby. All our other friends were there. We left the lobby and began walking to Times Square. It was almost seven so there were tons of people. I lead the girls toward the crowd. We ended up getting to the silver fence that was set up just for tonight. I was met with a very handsome guy on my left side. I just smiled and turned to talk to my friends.

Jack’s POV 

The most beautiful girl was standing beside me. I had every intention to kiss her when that ball hit one signifying the new year. I talked with my boys and told them about my plan. They all agreed that I should do it. Even if they said I shouldn’t, I still would. The New Year’s Eve festivities began. We watched all the performers and laughed at different things. I heard the girl beside me laughing and it made my heart beat faster knowing what I intended to do within the next five minutes. I kept looking over to her to see exactly what she was doing. She had such a pretty smile. Then it was time for the countdown. Everyone began to shout. 

“10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3…” I grabbed her arm.

Y/N’s POV  

“ONE!” Everyone around me shouted. 

My lips were met by someone elses. I kissed back because hell, it was the New Year. Why not? I wrapped my arms around the mystery person and heard camera shutters and people screaming ‘Awe.’ We both pulled away and I looked to see the handsome guy from earlier. I smiled and blushed. 

“How was that to bring in the New Year?” He asked. 

“It was amazing.” I smiled. “I’m Y/N.”

“I’m Jack Gilinsky.” He said putting his hand out. 

I shook it slowly and blushed more. 

“So, Y/N, wanna come with my friends and me to get some pizza?” He asked. 

“Only if my girls can come too.” I said. 

“Of course. As long as you’re there.” He smiled. 

His smile was killing me. We all left and that’s when one of my friends stopped me for a second. 

“I got the cutest picture of you guys. Oh, and you were on the Kiss Cam.” Y/F/N told you. 

“What?” I said. 

She showed me the pictures she got of us then proceeded to show me the picture of us on the kiss cam. We caught up to the group again and we all walked to the pizza place. I ended up inviting Jack to come over and hang out for a while. 

Jack’s POV 

I was walking with Y/N down the hall to her room. We sat on her couch and watched TV. I had my arm on the back of the couch which meant it was around her. She didn’t mind because she moved closer to me. She put her head on my shoulder and I looked at her. She was the most beautiful girl I’d ever seen. She looked up at me. 

“Quit staring at me. I can literally feel your eyes on me.” She smiled. 

“I’m sorry. You are just so beautiful. I want to spend every minute of my life like this.” I said. 

She smiled and just looked back at the TV. I wasn’t just saying that. I meant it. 


I’ve spent 70 years with her. Every single year was an adventure and tonight was no different. I was sitting beside her hospital bed holding her hand. Our kids, and our grandkids, and a few great grand kids sitting out in the waiting room. 

“I can’t believe that it’s been 70 years with you.” Y/N smiled. 

“I told you, I wanted to spend every minute of my life with you.” I smiled at her. 

“Tonight might be my last Jack.” She closed her eyes. 

“Hang on till the ball drops. I want to spend one last New Year’s Eve with you.” I said. 

She nodded and told me to let all of our family in. They came in and stood around. Y/N was cracking jokes and making everyone laugh just like she always did. Everyone had their eyes on the TV. The countdown began. I looked at her the whole time. 

“5, 4, 3, 2, 1, Happy New Year!” People from the TV shouted. 

“Happy New Year Y/N.” I said and kissed her softly. 

I pulled away and she looked at me. 

“Happy New Year Jack, I’ll always love you.” She said. 

Her heart moniter went flat. The doctors and nurses pushed everyone from the room. I had tears in my eyes, but I was still happy. I got to spend one last New Year with her.

Welcome Back, Riley │ Part 13

Riley disappears the day after her high school graduation, five years ago. She didn’t keep in contact with anyone, but her family. What happens when she comes back to New York for a week? What happens when she comes face to face with the friends she left behind? When she left, she never made plans to look back at the life she left. She left it behind for a reason, but sometimes the past has a hard time staying there.

part 1part 2 part 3 part 4 part 5 part 6part 7 part 8 part 9part 10 part 11 part 12

I really hated writing this chapter because I felt like it was all over the place. I think I’m just in a hurry to finish it. The ending is just shouting at me to write. 

I knew I missed Lucas, but I didn’t understand the extent of it until I heard his voice last night. We talked for hours. Both of us were both a bit nervous at first, but it didn’t last long. I did feel bad that we did stay up so late. It was only midnight my time, however, it was three his time. He said he didn’t mind because he was able to hear my voice. So, I guess it wasn’t much of a surprise when I woke up this morning to a text message from him.


Goodmorning Riley! Talking to you last night about everything and nothing was something I really needed. I miss you.

I can’t help the smile that strews across my lips


Maybe tonight if I don’t leave the work so late, we can talk again.

I press send and toss my phone on my bed. I move to my bathroom and start the shower, but before I can star undressing I hear my phone bing. It’s like the teenage inside of me went off because I dash out of my bathroom and to the side of my bed.


Doesn’t matter what time, call me. Talking to you is the only way I’m okay with losing any sleep.

Throughout the day Lucas and I text each other. I don’t know why I thought we would be able to wait till tonight to talk. I smile all day. He makes me happy, just talking to him for a few hours makes me feel like I have a piece of me that’s been missing. It’s different talking to him when I’m states away, no one is forcing me to talk to him or I don’t feel forced. I’m doing it because I want to.

I decide to leave work early today for the first time in months, but I don’t go home instead I go over to Michael and Jessica’s house to surprise them. They call me almost every day to check in, but I haven’t seen Michael or Nathan since before I left, and Jessica the day I got back.

Their house is beautiful. It’s a two story light grey house with darker grey window shutters and a black window door. It sounds a little gloomy, but it fits Seattle weather. I walk down the walkway leading up to their door and ring the doorbell.

I’m greeted by a tall brunette with brown eyes.

“Riley!” He looks back to the stairs, “Nathan come down someone’s here who you missed!” He shouts.

“Hey Michael!” I move in to give him a hug. “How have you guys been?”

“We’ve been great!”

“That’s good to hear. I’m sorry I didn’t come sooner.”

“Don’t worry about that. Jessica will be back soon with dinner. She didn’t feel like cooking tonight,” he chuckles. “You are staying for dinner.”

“I don’t want to-“

I get interrupted by a now eight-year-old Nathan running down the stair. “RILEY!” He practically yells. I turn my attention to the blonde hair light brown eyed boy.

“Hey little guy!” He wraps his arms around me and squeezes me tight. He’s gotten so tall, pretty soon he is going to tower over me.

“Nathan how about you go set the table.” Michael says.

“But do I have to?” Nathan whines.

I can’t help the quiet laugh that escapes my lips. “How about I go help you? Apparently I’m staying for dinner.”

I see a smile that spreads across his face. He reminds me of Auggie when he was this age. Maybe that’s why I get along with him so well.

Nathan and I move to the dining room table. I grab the plates and silverware, and he grabs cups and cloths. The both of us walk around the table placing the items for each person. He tells me about his pee wee football team and how he is excited for his game against their rival team in a few weeks, but he’s nervous too.

“Why are you nervous?”

Nathan takes a deep breath, “There is a cheerleader that cheers for the team we are going to be playing.”

“Does someone have a crush?” I tease him a little with a hip bump.

“What do I do? You’re a girl give me girl advice?”

I smile, “Give her a flower, girls like flowers. A really pretty flower.”

“I’ll tell mom to help me pick one. Will you come and watch me play?”

“Of course I will!”

My phone goes off and I look at down at it.


I can’t wait to tell you about the day I had at the clinic today! Call me as soon as you can.

A smile forms at my lips because I can picture his excitement.


Can’t wait to hear! I’ll call as soon as I’m home.

The smile never leaves my face. I feel like a happier person.

“Why are you are smiley?” Nathan pulls me out of my Lucas daze. “Who was it?” he asks stretching his neck to look at my phone.

I shake myself out of my Lucas daze and twist to the side to hide my phone, “Oh nothing.”

“Liar! You are all smiley Riley right now. You never smile like that.” He gestures to my face. “Don’t stop. You have a nice smile when it’s real.” How is an eight-year-old so observant?

“You are one smart boy you know that.” I ruffle his hair.

“I GOT DINNER!” we hear Jessica yell from the front door.

We finish setting the table just as Jessica walks into the dining room with Michael right behind her.  

“Riley, you’re here? What a nice surprise!” She places the food on the table and embraces me into a hug.

Nathan wastes no time reaching for the bag of Chinese takeout, but Jessica slaps his hand away. After a few more words exchanged between Jessica and I, she pulls each container out of places it in the middle of the table. The four of us take our seats around the table and start to serve ourselves.

Michael starts to ask about work and tell him that everything is going good. I ask about the café. They try to down play how they are hanging on. I won’t let anything happen to where they’ll lose the café. They invested so much into it.

We continue to talk about everything going on in our lives. Nathan talks about school and his favorite classes. I don’t mean to be rude, but I keep counting down the minutes until I’m home and can talk to Lucas. If it because daily, I would be totally fine with that.

We talk about Thanksgivings. They seem excited about meeting my parents, and I’m excited too. I can finally bring the two parts of life together.

Dinner starts to come to an end. Nathan gives me a hug goodbye and then disappears upstairs to get ready for bed.

“Thank you for having me for dinner.”

“Anytime. You know you are always welcomed here.” Jessica says as she takes her turn to hug me.

“Be safe getting home. I don’t know why you live basically in the middle of nowhere.” Michael has always been so concern with where I live. It’s not like it’s a bad location.

“I like it what can I say.” I move to hug him. I pull away and make my way to the front door. “Bye. I’ll see you guys soon, and if not I’ll see you guys on Thanksgiving.”

They both nod, “We’ll be there.” Michael says. “Drive safe.”

I give them a quick nod and walk out of the house. They wait by the front door until I make in to my car before they scurry inside.

As soon as I get home, I waste no time going to my room to change into something comfortable and crawling into my bed. It use to feel normal, but right now it just feels empty. I know what’s missing, and I know what it is. I grab my phone and call the person that is missing, that I am missing.

I’ve been waiting all day to hear your voice.

I feel heat rush to my cheeks. Hey Lucas. How was work?

It was amazing! I hear the excitement in his voice. I never told I’d be able to help a horse give birth here in the city, but today I did! I was reminded of the whole reason I wanted to become a veterinarian in the very beginning. Not that I ever forgot, but it was as if I was in that moment again.

That’s incredible Lucas!

It really was. I try to hold my yawn in, but it fights it way through. Are you tired? I can let you go to sleep.

No I’m okay. Just keep talking.

He proceeds to tell me about the rest of his day. I’m trying hard to stay up. I don’t know why I’m so tired. If anything he should be the one tired. It’s later there then it is here. I love the fact that we were able to pick up talking to each other comfortably so fast. Even if it’s about topics I don’t want to talk about, like we are now.

Maya asked me talk to you for her.

How does she know you are talking me?

Well, her, Zay, Farkle, Smackle, and I went out for dinner. A little awkward going out with engaged couples and being the only single one. We both laugh. Anyways, they all kind of guessed it. Apparently I was kept smiling and Maya said it was my Riley smile.

The corner of my lips lift slightly. I was called Smiley Riley today by an eight-year-old. I haven’t been called that in years.

I can practically hear the smirk spreading across his face. So what I’m hearing is that I was the reason behind your smile.

I don’t say anything. Neither does he. Yes, he was the reason for the happiness I felt today, but maybe it was because letting him back into my life was like getting a piece of the old me. Maybe I need other people back in my life too.

Lucas. I take a deep breath. Can I have Maya’s number?

I’m pretty sure she already took your number from my phone. I’ll tell her that it’s okay to use it now.

Thank you.

No Riley, thank you. Thank you for letting me back into your life.

I let out a small sigh. I’m sorry it took so long.

We talk until I hear his breathing start to get heavy. I wondering when he would start to fall asleep because I was hanging on by a thread.

Goodnight Lucas. I hear nothing. I love you. I whisper. I immediately hang up. Hopefully he was really sleeping. I just had to get it off my chest. I love him. I always have and I know I always will.

The next two week or so Lucas and I text all day with calls late at night until one of us falls asleep. It’s almost like being in high school again. I get all the butterflies in my stomach and my heart starts to flutter when I see his name flash on my phone. If one thing I confirmed, I want to be with Lucas Friar more than anything. I want to be able to call him mine.

Maya texts me every day since the night I told Lucas that I wanted her number, and honestly I’m happy I made that choice. Once her and I got past the uncomfortableness I think we both felt, I know I did, it almost felt normal to talk to her. I know we still have a long way to go before we can really repair what was broke, but now I know it’s something I really want.  

She tells me how Zay finally broke her down to move in with her, and how she is up to her neck with planning her wedding. I tell her not to worry because she still has more than half a year. She asks if I be willing to help her and I want to, but I can’t not all the way from here.

On Friday morning, I have a hard time pulling myself from my warm comfy bed. The one downside to Seattle weather is that it has the effect of making someone want to stay in bed all day especially when they are tired. I get to work a little late and head straight to my office.

My attention gets pulled from my laptop when I hear my door being open. “Wow, you look a little tired?” Daniel another employee of mine ask. He has really dark hair basically black, but his eyes are the brightest blue that I have ever see. He’s about the same height as me.

“Thanks,” I say sarcastically.

“I’m just messing around. I just wanted to make sure this was okay before I post?” He says passing me his laptop.

I take it from his hands, “I told you, you don’t have to keep doing this. I trust all of you to post what you want and what is appropriate.” I take a quick look over it. I’ve never seen something this personal from him. “Are you sure you want to share this? I mean this amazingly written, but you never shared anything like this. You sign your name at the bottom of this.” My phone flashes on, and I look on down to see his name. I can’t help the smile that takes over my mouth.

“I have never seen you smile like that before. Who’s the lucky guy?” he teases.

“I don’t know what you are talking about.” I hand him the laptop, “If you want to post it, do it. It’s really good.”

“Thank you.” He heads to the door, but stops. “You know Evan isn’t going to like that very much. He’s been trying to get you to out with him for a year now.”

I laugh to avoid the embarrassment I feel. “Get back to work Daniel.”

I try to finish the piece that I’m working on, but to no success. I’ve been distracted lately, mostly by thoughts of Lucas. Before I know it’s six and I’m staring at a half written post. I really should finish this, but Lucas is already calling. I know I shouldn’t answer it because I have this to finish it. But it’s Lucas, and I have a weakness for him.

I answer placing it on my phone speaker, so I don’t have to hold it. Hello? I say as I try to type the thoughts that rushed to head down before I forget.

Is that typing I here? He laughs. Are you still at work? It’s 6:30 your time and you’re still at work on a Friday.  Lucas voice echoes throughout my office, but I was completely zoned in on my laptop I didn’t really hear. Hello, Riley?

Yeah, sorry. Give me a second. I try to type as fast as I can, so I can talk to him.

There is a knock on my door, but once again I’m too focused at the task at hand to acknowledge it.

“Riley,” I look up to see Evan standing in the doorway. “I was wondering since it’s late and neither one of us has eaten, maybe you wanted to get a late dinner? I can even go get take out and bring it back and we can eat here.” The sound of Lucas clearing his throat fills the room. Evan eyes move to my phone, “I’m sorry I didn’t know you were on the phone.”

“It’s okay. It’s a friend.” I hear Lucas scoff and I’m pretty certain Evan did too. “You go. I’ll probably just pick up something on the way home. I still have to finish here.”

“Again with the rejection,” he laughs. “You’ll crack one day, I’m pretty persistent.”

Over my dead body. Lucas decides to chime in. I quickly move to take him off of speaker and place the call on mute so he doesn’t hear anything else.

“Sorry about that.” I say with a smile. I can hear faint mumbles coming from my phone.

“I guess I’m not the only one who is trying to win over the heart of Riley Matthews.” He can’t win something that is already taken. Lucas has my heart.

I laugh to cover the uncomfortableness I feel, “Goodnight Evan. I’ll see you Monday. Remember meeting at ten.”

“Goodnight Riley. Have a good weekend.” He gives me one last smile before leaving. I wait until he is a good distance away before I pick up my phone.

Was that really necessary? I try to remain calm.

Who was that, and why does he think it’s okay to ask you out? Lucas snaps.

Evan just someone I work with.

Evan?! Not the same Evan from the ski lodge right?

I roll my eyes. No, but there are similarities. At least I don’t think this. I think I’d be able to recognize him. I don’t know why I just said that to him though. I hear him say something under his breathe. You don’t have a right to be mad, me and you are just friends. Even though I want to be so much more.

You know damn well I want to be with you, Riley! The rise in his voice startles me. I’m sorry. I just don’t like someone hitting on you, and I’m not there to do anything about it. I don’t even know where you are!

I scoff. That angry of yours still comes out sometimes, doesn’t it?

I’m sorry, but this guy-

I cut him off. This jealousy thing use to be kind of endearing when we were in high school and middle school, but we’re adults now.

Riley, I’m trying here. I’m willing to do anything to make it work.

And I’m not?!

He laughs a little more sarcastically than I like. You are still hiding! How is that trying? I’m willing to relocate to be with you!

Lucas. I sigh. I’m just not ready.

Damnit Riley! Am I supposed to wait until you are?! He shouts.

You will not talk to me like that! I bark back. When we can talk about this without you getting mad, then we will talk about the possibility of us. I want it just as much as you do, but right now I can’t talk to you. Bye Lucas.

Riley, wait!

What? I whisper.

I love you. I can hear the sincerity in his voice.

I wanted to say it more than anything. Say it when he isn’t sleeping and can actually hear me, but I bite my tongue. Goodbye Lucas. I hang up before my mouth can shout out the words my heart so desperately wants to say.

Within the same minute we get off the phone, he is calling back but I don’t answer. He calls five times and each time I have to resist the urge of answering. I do want to be with him, soon even, but right now I can’t. I can’t explain it, I just can’t something is telling me to wait.

It doesn’t stop at just at calls, he starts texting.


I’m sorry I shouldn’t have reacted like that just don’t shut me out please


Maybe I shouldn’t have said I love you. Was it too soon?

You know what I’m glad I said it because I do love you!

There is a few more, but I stop reading them. To make sure I don’t give in, I turn off my phone and put it in my purse. Why does he have this effect on me? I can be mad at him, but at the say time want to be near him. I don’t know why I wasn’t able to say I love you back because I do love him.

It takes me about another half hour to finish the rest of my entry. I hurriedly lock everything up and head to my car. Once again the last one to leave, but I don’t mind. Maybe because every day I go home to an empty house.

Once I get home, I walk over to my kitchen place the personal size pizza I got for dinner on the counter top. I take my phone from my purse and turn it on and take a bite out of a slice as I wait. I expected to have more missed calls from Lucas, even some text messages, but I have a miss call from Maya followed by text to call her as soon as I can. So that’s what I do.

As I wait for her to pick up, I take another bite. Riley!

Zay? Where’s Maya? She told me to call.

She’s dealing with a very drunk Lucas right now.

I scoff. What happened?

The person that Lucas will never get to meet was his daughter. You were pregnant when you left and had the baby. You named her Hope

How-How do you know about Hope? I stammer at first.

Lucas. He’s here at my house and very drunk going on about you and someone named Hope Olivia Matthews. I called Farkle and asked him to come over. He is usually the one to calm him down. I don’t say anything.  Riley, please tell us where you are. He needs to know. We all need to know. 

I stare down at my food, thinking maybe I should just tell them. I’ll tell you guys soon, just not now. Take care of him please. Don’t let him do anything stupid.

I hear a deep breath from the other end. Are you okay?

I’ll be fine. I hear someone asking if it’s me on the phone and by the slurring of the words I know it’s Lucas. I have to go. I have to get everything ready for Auggie when he comes this weekend to spend the week with me. Bye Zay. Tell Maya to call me tomorrow.

Riley! Lucas must have snatched the phone away from Zay because his voice is the one shouting my name from the opposite end of the call.

I don’t say anything instead I just hang up. I can’t deal with this right now. I place my phone down, but it glows with a new text message from a number I don’t recognize.


I know where you are. No more hiding Riley.


Who is this?


You’ll find out soon.