five finger discount

💪Shoplifting😫🛍 Protip 💵

Step 1: go to ur local Walmrt

Step 2: go to th sports + outdoors aisle

Step 3: locate the weights

Step 4: pick them all up one by one

Step 5: put them all back (one by one)

Step 6: leave the store

Step 7: never come back


For the record

People stealing food/ necessities because they need to survive in our shithole of a government: Zero judgment, I’m incredibly sorry you’re in this situation, do what you need to do to survive.

People stealing designer clothes and makeup because you don’t want to pay for it and you “enjoy the rush”: Absolute assholes, grow the fuck up and stop pretending what you’re doing is a “hobby”.

Someone drove off without paying for their meal. Guess who has to pay for it? Me. They stole about what I make in an hour.

I don’t care if you think it’s justified or if you think the corporation deserves it or the managers are mean or whatever stupid reason you steal. It’s shitty and the people who pay are the employees, not the guys at corporate and not the CEO.

Pay for your fucking shit.

I work at Walmart. This week we had to let three associates go because over the course of our last two quarters our losses due to theft more than doubled, and we need to cut costs in the departments these associates worked in. All three of these associates have children; two of them are single parents. If you make a habit of shoplifting from stores because “the company makes billions every year so they can handle a few hundred dollars in losses,” think about that, and think about the lives you’re ruining. We lose our jobs when you do what you do. Don’t pretend it doesn’t affect us.

Things that need to be left in 2015
  • 3rd wave Feminism - Seriously that shit needs to go.
  • Otherkin- Sad and pathetic but very very funny.
  • Trigger warnings and safe spaces - You’re an adult , act like it you will not be coddled.
  • Male tears and making fun of men for having emotions - Do I really need to explain?
  • Endorsing obesity and a unhealthy life style. - I’m talking to you pro fat community.
  • Being PC- learn to take a joke not everything is offensive.
  • Doxxing- MY private info is MY private info not the worlds. Grow up.
  • Bullying artist to the point of attempted suicide - Seriously what makes you think it’s okay to do this to someone? 
  • Shoplifting community - You’re not stealing for survival, there for you shouldn’t be stealing.
  • SJW’s - Once again must I explain. 
  • Self diagnosing - If your not a health care professional then don’t make medical diagnoses.
  • Rape culture- It doesn’t exist , no one promotes rape, our culture doesn’t promote it.
  • Yes all men - I’m looking at you sjw and feminist . Its just stereotyping men and degrading them. And I though your movements were about equality?
Lift Tip By Store

This place is seriously so easy. For beginner lifters, know that BARCODES DO NOT TRIGGER THE ALARMS. Expensive perfumes rarely have RFIDs or soft tags.
Cosmetics- Just slip stuff into your bag, it’s that easy.
Food- Get a basket, fill it up, go to the front, grab a reusable bag, pretend like you forgot something, conceal in seasonal, and then meander out.
Furniture- Who the fuck do you are?
Clothes- Just slip into bag. BARCODES DO NOT SET OFF ALARMS JESUS
Electronics- Target don’t fuck around with electronics. Just keep lifting and returning stuff to build store credit or something.

Actually I think everyone working there must be literally retarded.
Electronics- Just conceal. When you’re trying to leave, wait till someone with a packed cart (and with kids if you’re lucky) tries to leave. Walk out with them, and when the alarm goes off, give the family an accusing look and keep walking.
Cosmetics- Take and conceal in Pet Supplies.
Food- Same as target.
Clothes- I’ve never taken Walmart clothes ew.

Little trickier. Bring wire cutters, a huge bag, and accomplices if you can.
Handbags- Most are untagged, but Michael Kors and other really high end bags are tagged. Cut the wires. They won’t beep.
High End Cosmetics- Politely evade the annoying sa and cleverly conceal as you go.
Clothes- They tag everything, bring a hook.
Shoes- Check thoroughly for tags.
Clarisonic- Wait and conceal. They never beep.

Claire’s and Icings:
Are you 9? Just avoid mirrors and go cray.

Clothes- Never tagged. Conceal in baby.
Jewelry- conceal in baby.
Appliances- little ones are easy, just conceal.

If you have a hook, this store is so easy.

Most things aren’t tagged. Bring a hook just in case.

Stick the dildo up your ass

Hot Topic:
Bring a hook. Not that it matters, the sa are just as bored and misunderstood as you are

Take one shoe from a box, get the match from a different box. Conceal.

Beauty- conceal as you go
Clothes- Bring a hook
Shoes- you need a hook

Really helpful tip for lifters that go in packs!!

What my friends and I used to do years ago when we’d lift, is we would come up with a sort of codename-language. For example:
“I can’t find my keys” meant “cover me while I put this in my bag”

“I really think my sister would like this!” Would let your crew know you were probably going to steal that item

“Guys, I really have to go to the bathroom” meant “let’s get the fuck out of here, I have a bad feeling”

Also, always have a meeting spot! This is important if your crew decides to split up, or if someone in the crew gets caught.

Sooo yeah I just thought I’d share this, of course this is only supposed to be used if the store is especially crowded, because doing this with very few people in the store would attract a lot of attention from employees.

How to be Safe Shoplifting!

Okay so here’s my rules on how to be safe while shoplifting!

1) See what you want, grab it
2) If you see the price and can’t afford it, just carefully and quickly put it back on the shelf where it fucking came from!
3) Look for similar items that you can actually afford and not have to worry about the possibility of people losing their jobs!!

Stay safe xoxo :)

The only way to not get caught shoplifting, is not doing it at all.


The Admin hasn’t been feeling well as of recent, so only two small hauls from Mournhold right now. I really can’t wait to get back to Vvardenfell, everyone in Mournhold is stuffy and suspicious.

From the Argonian Pawnbroker:

1 Scroll of the Fifth Barrier: 156 Septims

3 pieces of Bread: 1 Septim each

Total Savings: 159 Septims!

Then, just across the road at the Mournhold Magic Shop…

1 piles of Fire Salts: 100 Septims

3 Diamonds: 250 Septims each

3 Pearls: 100 Septims each

Total Savings: 1150 Septims!

The total savings from both hauls in all was 1309 Septims!

If You Are A Lifter, Please Give This A Loo

This is my shoplifting story, this isn’t to scare you or to command you to stop; I just want to share with you my experience.

My name is Allyson and I am sixteen years old and I live in Texas. I happened upon the shoplifting side of tumblr earlier this day and it inspired me to share with you this.

Around this time last year, even more towards November, I shoplifted as much as all of the hauls I’ve scrolled through. I would go to Forever 21, Sephora, Ulta, Pacsun, HM, and basically stores of the kind. My hauls were anywhere from $10-$600. I was stealing makeup, clothes, accessories, and everything in between. The thought of getting caught always lingered in my mind. I can’t describe why I wasn’t as scared of it. Don’t get me wrong, the sight of a security officer scared the shit out of me, but the idea of getting caught was almost a fantasy. I was getting all this cool shit, so it didn’t really take effect on me. Even if it did, I wasn’t going to stop. I had a bigger wardrobe, a bigger makeup collection. For the first time I had many expensive things. Getting caught was scary, but my savings definitely were not.

Around March 2013, I was at the mall with my friends. We went almost every weekend at this point. Never even getting noticed for our sneaky fingers. We went to JCP, Sephora, Old Navy, Claires, etc. We were about to leave when we decided to go back to JCP. Now let me tell you, we were sneaky. very sneaky. We were not blatant. We read hundreds of articles, found a million different snippets of information to help us out. It only takes one guy to notice you. One. To go “hey they might steal something”.

This is the part most do not like to hear. I’m very sorry about this, but I really want to share this with you all. A bored guy in a monitor-filled room notices you, and it could all be over.

I was caught. We left the store and a very large man walks out the door and bellowed, “come with me”. He even smiled, that sly bastard.

I remember thinking, “I can’t believe this is happening.” “Is this real?”

That walk was the longest walk of my life. The walk to the back room. Time literally slowed around me. We walked into the back. We had already given him most of the things at one of the cash registers.  

“If you lie, we have to fill it out in the report”. Of course we did. We had over $400 of merchandise between the three of us.

He eventually checked our bags. He found things, obviously. This part is a bit blurry, but I will try my best to tell you everything that happened.

He separated the merchandise by store. Then we called our parents. That was literally the worst thing I ever had to do in my entire life. They sounded extremely disappointed. It was the definition of terrible. From that back room, we entered another room (this one filled with the monitors), while the man called the police. I still have scars from sitting in that chair and digging my nails into my skin from fright. Our parents came and sat with us until the police arrived. The whole time the large man telling us we’ll have to spend the night in Juvy, obviously scaring the shit out of me even more.

I’m going to get through this part a bit faster.

The police showed up and we were charged with a Class B Misdemeanor Theft. In Texas that basically meant we stole more than $50 but less than $500. If you are not a minor, that is a sentence of confinement in jail for a term of not more than 180 days a fine of not more than $2,000, or both. Though, we were minors. We ended up not going to juvy, but were let go to our parents.

Literally worst car ride of my life. No yelling, just complete silence from my parents.

My parents received a bill from JCP of $339 in the mail around 2 weeks letter and I was scheduled to see an officer about my misdemeanor. I was given three months of classes to clear it from my record, and three months of probation.

So I’ll leave you with this.

I desperately wished somebody had told me this, and more importantly, that I would have listened.

It feels like it will never happen to you, but why potentially ruin your life by trying? Sorry for that spiel. I remember hating reading that kind of stuff, but it’s so entirely true; its scary. Some instances, you could potentially ruin your chances of a job and college.

I relate to all of you, I truly do. I am the same teenage girl, going through the same things. 

While writing this, I had to take multiple breaks because recalling this is truly an extremely hard thing to do. I’ve had nightmares about this. It’s truly awful and I will never think of shoplifting the same way I did. As something fun.

If you have ANY questions, message me. Seriously, as long as it’s nothing rude, I will answer you. I promise.

. (Your choice) I do this so many of you all can see this. I am not sponsored by anyone to share my story; this is because I care about you all and I don’t want to see you go through what I went through.

Thank you very much if you got this far with me!

[Note: Sorry if this post has some badly written parts, going back through it and reading what happened to me literally almost makes me cry, so I cannot go back and go through it! Very sorry.]