five eighth

anonymous asked:

Hello love, could you rec me your favourite 8th year fics on ao3?

Hello yourself! YES, I can absolutely do this and honestly I feel like I’ve been waiting for this moment my entire life. I am OBSESSED with 8th year fics and I hope I can recommend at least a few you haven’t read already! :)

*warning*: This is an Extremely Long List. It is in literally no order because I love all of these fics so much it is as if they are my own children and I couldn’t possibly rank them

Unexpected Consequences by Lauren3210 (39K)- Harry was going back to school. He was going to play Quidditch, sleep in lessons, hang out with his friends, and generally just enjoy being a kid for a change. And he was also going to do it while being bonded with Malfoy, because apparently life was just going to continue throwing curveballs at him. Harry didn’t know why he expected anything different.
This is one of the first fics I ever read and I still remember it clearly; it was THAT good! As an alternative to Azkaban, Draco is allowed to attend Hogwarts provided he agrees to a bond with Harry that makes him to do whatever Harry says. Naturally, once the feelings start this causes a lot of worrying and angst and klsfhd it’s just really really good! Also did I mention they share a private room? I know I can’t be the only one who lives for that.

Right Hand Red by lumosed_quill (73K)- Harry felt Malfoy’s breath on his lips as they came together over the bottle, hands firmly planted on the floor as though they each needed their familiar soil, refusing to cross into enemy territory. Except that Malfoy no longer felt like his enemy. Malfoy felt inevitable.
Another of the first ever fics I read (and reread!) and MAN IS IT FUCKING AMAZING. The lust starts right from the beginning and there are *lots* of party games and a secret relationship and sweet moments and teaching of patronus charms and *sigh* I just want to go read it again right now!

Lumos by birdsofshore (41.5K)- Harry never expected to spend eighth year listening to Draco Malfoy wanking.
FABULOUS fic in which they are roommates and then Draco wanks and then Harry wanks and then Draco and Harry wank at the same time, and then there are feelings!! A thousand times yes.

Strange Bathfellows by Bixgirl1 (27.5K)- It started with a bath. Or a potions accident. Or maybe it started before that, but who can tell anymore.Featuring: Uncomfortable wanking, more comfortable wanking, mutual wanking, bath sharing, inappropriate betting, secret shagging, those secrets at Hogwarts that everyone knows, and oblivious Harry who knows one thing: he’s falling in love.
Harry and Draco being forced to share a bath is everything I never knew I needed until I was blessed enough to find this fic. @bixgirl1 has MANY truly ✨FABULOUS✨ eighth year fics (for example Instruction for a Misplaced Slytherin (8.5K) in which Draco teaches Harry about sex and In Evidence of Magical Theory (43.5K), which features forced bonding) and you should definitely read them all, but Strange Bathfellows remains my favorite! :)

Keep reading

4

Who Needs A Kit?

It Looks As If Kieran Foran Has Sucked His Shorts In Training Today, As He Shows Off His Toned Legs, Muscular Hindquarters, And Thunder Thighs, All The While Demonstrating Incredible Stamina, Strength, And Overall Athletic Skill.

Woof, Baby!

Flavour

read on AO3

“No one really gives a shit,” Stanley sighed. “They call me gay. Well, I am, but that’s… they say worse, you know? There are, of course, the fucking skinheads that walk past me and claim that I killed Christ, and dicks who drew horns on my picture when I won the spelling bee in eighth grade, but… Other than that, no one cares. The new hot topic is if you’re anything not straight or cisgender.”

CHAPTER: 1/?

WORD COUNT: 5.6K

RATING: M

WARNINGS: underage smoking, transphobia, homophobia, implied anti-Semitism 

BETAS: @eddison-medicine and @ghostlydenbrough

Keep reading

mobile masterlist ;; requests are open!

Legend;

; fluff ;; comedy

; angst ;; drama

; smut ;; implied sexual content

; fake texts

Last updated 11/18 [9:25PM] ;; Oldest to Newest

 Kim Namjoon ;; Mafia AU

 Park Jimin ;; ace of spades [one]

 Jeon Jungkook ;; He hooks up with a bitch that ruined your life pt.4

Jung Hoseok ;; My Star pt.1


OT7 ;; reactions, scenarios, headcanons and group chats

Morning texts ;; [✉;♥]

College Roommates ;; [✉;♥;♠]
Jin+Yoongi ;;Hoseok+Namjoon ;; Maknae Line

BFF!Jin+CEO’s Daughter ;; [✉;♥]

“But, baby girl, I—” ;; [✉;♥;♠]

Nipple Weather ;; [♥]

Witty Girlfriend ;; []

When you’re whiny and sleepy ;; []

When you’re naturally pretty ;; []


➻ Kim Seokjin

Random texts ;; [✉;]

Punny texts ;; [✉;]

Poly!YoonJin ;; [✉;♥]

BFF!Jin+CEO’s Daughter ;; [✉;♥]

Daily texts with Boyfriend!Jin ;; [✉;♥]

Written fan-fiction:

none yet


➻ Min Yoongi

Confronting Mentality ;; [✉;☁;♥]

Poly!YoonJin ;; [✉;♥]

Secret Relationship + Road Trip ;; [✉;♥]

Written fan-fiction:

dangerous ;; [♠;♥;☁]

his love ;;  [♥;☁]


Jung Hoseok

Misunderstanding ;; [✉;☁;♥]
one ;; two ;; three ;; four ;; five

Mafia AU ;; [✉;♥;☁]

My Star ;; [✉;♥]
pt.1 ;; pt.2

Written fan-fiction:

none yet


Kim Namjoon

He breaks up with you ;; [✉;☁]

“By mom I meant Seokjin… Whoops, sorry.” ;; [✉;♥]

“Say that to the Ryan plushie…” ;; [✉;♥]

Mafia AU ;; [✉;☁]

Written fan-fiction:

none yet


Park Jimin

Fuck Boy ;; [✉;♥]

“I swear to lord shesus if you don’t stop..” ;; [✉;♥]

Written fan-fiction:

ace of spades ;; [☁]
one ;; two


Kim Taehyung

Toxic ;; [✉;♥;☁]
one ;; two ;; three;1 ;; three;2 ;; four ;; five ;; six ;; seven ;; eight

He finds out you’re a rapper ;; [✉;♥]

Written fan-fiction:

none yet


Jeon Jungkook

Gaming nights ;; [✉;♥]

Gaming mornings ;; [✉;♥]

He hooks up with a bitch that ruined your life ;; [✉;☁;♥]
pt.1 ;; pt.2 ;; pt.3 ;; pt.4(final)

Written fan-fiction:

steps ;; [♥]
one ;; two

trickery ;; [] — Halloween special


requests: open — please leave your request here. (anonymous available)

currently working on [fics] list available on desktop theme ;; for mobile users:
⤷ ace of spades—vampire!park jimin(part one out)
⤷ of demons&playtime—kim seokjin
floral denial—kim taehyung


Imagine a conversation between all 13 Doctors at Day of the Doctor, just before they save Gallifrey,
  • 11: GERONIMOOOO!
  • 10: Allons-y!
  • War: Oh for god sake! Gallifrey stands!
  • 4: One last round of Jelly Babies and we can start.
  • 9: Those Jelly Babies are fantastic, absolutely fantastic!
  • 11: I know, right? Jelly Babies are cool.
  • 2: Oh my giddy aunt, I discovered them. So when I say give me some, give me some.
  • 6: I wonder if we are ever going to stop talking and do what we are here for.
  • 10: Oh I'm sorry, I am so, so sorry, but Jelly Babies are more important than Gallifrey.
  • 3: *whispers to 1* I think I'll reverse the polarity of the neutron flow so they lose their taste and we can go on.
  • 1: Nonsense, my dear. Those morons won't stop procrastinating.
  • 5: I don't want Jelly Babies. I prefer celery.
  • 11: Fish Fingers and custard all the way.
  • 9: Or bananas.
  • 10: Oh yes, bananas are good.
  • 8: Who am I to talk about food when I've got a planet to save?
  • War: "Good question. NO MORE EATING, OTHER MES!
  • 4: *throws Jelly Babies at the War Doctor*
  • 8: *throws random fez at 4*
  • 10: Oh, a fez.
  • 7: Oh, a fez!
  • 11: OH, A FEZ!
  • 7 and 11: *fighting about the fez*
  • 3: *sighs*
  • 5: *cheering for 11*
  • 9: *cheering for 7*
  • 1: Am I having a midlife-crisis?
  • War: I said the same.
  • 5: We could play cricket all together.
  • 2: Or we could be a band!
  • 10: Brilliant idea. Well, that grumpy guy over there is good at the guitar. I once heard....
  • 6: He's babbling again. That will take long.
  • 12: ALL OF ME, JUST SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUTITY UP UP UP!
Pairing Week

So I’m going to do a thing: Seven days of pairings! Each day will be entirely dedicated to the listed ship on this blog. All fanart, fanfic, hcs, and content will be exclusively related to that ship. Fluff, Angst, and Smut are all welcome. I’m stockpiling prompts today!

September Third Day One: Prinxiety 

September Fourth Day Two: Logicality

September Fifth Day Three: Analogical

September Sixth Day Four: Moxiety

September Seventh Day Five: Logince

September Eighth Day Six: Royality

September Ninth Day Seven: LAMP/Polyam Sanders

6

Great news from CBS! The network has announced the renewal of BULL, MACGYVER, KEVIN CAN WAIT, MAN WITH A PLAN and SUPERIOR DONUTS for a second season. The network has also renewed BLUE BLOODS (for an eighth season), HAWAII FIVE-0 (for an eighth season), NCIS: LOS ANGELES (for a ninth season), NCIS: NEW ORLEANS (for a fourth season), MADAM SECRETARY (for a fourth season), SCORPION (for a fourth season) and MOM (for a fifth season).

As I Wrote Earlier…

Who Needs Porn, When You Have Action Between Men On The Pitch Like This?

The Cronkster Shares A Moment With Anthony Milford, After Milford Tackled Him.

Get A Room, Guys!

New Zealand Slang

I might not know them all, or I misremember them. Nonetheless, here’s a list from memory.
A
a into g: get going, arse into gear, as in ‘I’ve got to get my a into g’
anklebiter: small child
arse over tit: head over heels
Aotearoa: Maori name for New Zealand, it means the land of the long white cloud
B
beaut, beauty: splendid, terrific, as in ‘beaut of a job you did’
bit of a dag: hard case, comedian
bite your bum: go away, get lost
boy-racer: young man who drives fast in a car with a loud stereo
brassed off: disappointed, annoyed
bugger off: go away, piss off
C
carked it: died
chocka: choc-a-block, full, overflowing
chocolate fish: chocolate covered marshmallow fish, frequently given or offered as a reward.
chippie: potato chip
couldn’t see the road to the dunny if it had red flags on it: said of somebody blind drunk or slow witted
crash hot: excellent
crikey dick: expression of surprise
crook: sick, poorly, also to go crook at, meaning to be angry with, or to put someone crook, meaning to give someone bad advice
cuz: cousin
D
dairy: corner store, the only shop allowed to open 365 days a year
dear: expensive
doodackie: thingamajig, or doodad, an object that you can’t think of a name for
drop in it: get someone in trouble
dunny: toilet
E
Eketahuna: doesn’t exist. It’s like saying 'timbuktu’ or 'shangri la’.
F
fizzy drink: soda pop
flat stick or flat tack: full speed, as fast as possible
fuckwit: idiot
full tit: as much power as possible, “cmon! We need to go full tit!”
G
get off the grass: disbelief, 'stop pulling my leg’
gizza: give us a
going bush: get away from it all, take a break, become reclusive
good on ya, mate!: congratulations, well done
good as gold: good job, not a problem
guts for garters: in big trouble, as in 'I’ll have your guts for garters!’
H
home and hosed: safe, completed successfully
hoodackie: what you call someone when you cant think of their name
hard yakka: hard work
heaps: a lot of work to do
how much would you charge to haunt a ten room house?: rhetorical question to suggest a person is ugly
I
if your brains were barbed wire you couldn’t fence a dunny: you are stupid
J
jandal: thongs, flip-flops
K
kai: food, from the Maori word for eating
Kiwi: New Zealander
M
my arse is a red cabbage: ’ if he can do that, my arse is a red cabbage’
O
Other Side: Australia
P
pack a sad: become morose, ill-humoured, broken or dead, as in 'the washing machine packed a sad’
pack a wobbly: get angry
pakeha: non-Maori person
pav: pavlova
piece-of-piss: easy, as in 'that was a piece of piss’
piker: slacker, a person who gives up when things get difficult
piss: any alcohol
piss around: waste time, procrastinate
piss awful: very unpleasant
piss easy: very easy
piss up large: large scale drinking of alcohol
piss up: party, social gathering
pissed: drunk, inebriated
pissed off: angry, upset
pissing down: raining heavily, pouring down
prang: minor car accident, as in 'he was in a prang yesterday’
puckeroo: something that is buggered or broken
Q
quite nice: something you say when you want to be polite but can’t really think of anything to say, as in 'his tie is quite nice’; can also mean the opposite of the actual words: 'Your car is in quite nice condition’
R
rattle your dags: get a move on, hurry up
rellies: relatives, family
root: to have sex
rough as guts: unpolished
T
two sammies short of a picnic: brick short of a load, a bit thick or crazy
S
she’ll be right: everything will be OK, it’s not a problem
shitheap: utter mess, as in 'your bedroom is a shitheap’
sickie: to take a day off, apparently sick
smoko: break, rest period
sook: silly or a scaredy cat, as in 'just a big sook’
suss: figure out, as in 'I’ve got it sussed’
T
ta: thanks
tata: goodbye
tiki tour: scenic tour, roundabout way
tin-arse, tinbum: lucky person
togs: swimsuit, speedos
two-thirds of five-eighths of fuck all: very little
U
up shit creak in leaky gumboots: in trouble, variant of up shit creek without a paddle
up the boohai shooting pukekos with a long handled shovel: none of your business, used kind of like “up your butt and around the corner”
W
Waikikamukau: pronounced 'why kick a moo cow’, its basically so remote it makes Eketahuna look like the capital of the USA
were you born in a tent?: sarcastic question asked of somebody who has left a door open
what’s that got to do with the price of fish?: challenging the relevance of some remark
whinge: complain
wobbly: tantrum, as in 'he threw a wobbly when he heard that’
wop-wops: out of the way location
wouldn’t know shit from clay: naive or stupid person
wouldn’t know them from a bar of soap: I do not know this person
Y
yonks: a long time, ages, as in 'haven’t seen him in yonks’
yack: conversation between friends, natter
you ain’t wrong: you’re right
you get that: resigned acceptance
you make a better door than a window: said to somebody standing in the way, perhaps in front of the TV
you think you’re a flowerpot because you’ve got a hole in your bum: you love yourself