FAPuary Day2 - a bit late because of my wrist giving up halfway through the page. Got myself a wrist support today, on to todays page then :3 .. which will probably also end up being uploaded a day late omg. Why am I always late??
Otayuri-discourse is getting really annoying, I would like to tell
you something. Power imbalances can have an effect on every
relationship. Romantic as well as platonic. A power imbalance can
turn into an unhealthy relationship of any kind. But there is one
thing, that everyone seems to ignore: A power imbalance itself does
not cause abusive behavior. On its own its neither good nor bad. Its
the way it is used, that makes the difference between healthy and
A power imbalance is like
a “tool”. It can be used by an abuser to take advantage of its
victim. The abusers keep themselves on the higher level to maintain
the imbalance. This can lead to physical and emotional abuse. The
abuser can easily pressure the victim into doing things that they
aren’t comfortable with. For example: Older friends pressuring the
younger one into drinking alcohol/older lover pressuring younger to
have sex despite them not being ready for it. And this is obviously a
But a power imbalance can
also have a positive effect. In a healthy relationship the more
powerful part tries to minimize the imbalance. They don’t see the
other on as lower. They want to be on an equal level. The imbalance
can be used to help the younger one grow, while also making sure that
they are safe don’t go over their limits. It can be reassuring to
have someone more experienced that can help you in life and share
their experiences. One great example for a healthy relationship with
a power imbalance in the beginning is a ship you all love: Victuuri!
At the start of the show
Yuuri is a loner. He doesnt have many friends and the only thing he
really cares for is skating (and Victor of course). He has huge
anxiety and really lacks in confidence. He idolizes Victor and
therefore sees him as above him. Also, Yuuris love life before
Victor is pretty much non existent and he just becomes a blushing
mess at the mere mention of eros. On the other hand we have Victor
“Sexiest-Man-Alive” Nikiforov. He is way more experienced and
confident than Yuuri and has had a few relationships in the past. All
this puts a huge imbalance on Victors side. We see this in the
beginning, when Victor was really pushy, thinking Yuuri was still as
confident and flirty as he was at the banquet, making Yuuri feel
visibly uncomfortable. When Victor sees this, he tones down the
flirting to keep it at a pace that Yuuri can comfortably move along
with. We see Victor helping Yuuri becoming more confident in his
abilities and more comfortable with his sexuality. Victor used the
power imbalance to turn the idol-fan-relationship into a loving
relationship between two equals.
This concludes, that a
power imbalance itself does not automatically make a relationship
bad. Its the mindset of the more powerful person, that determines if
this imbalance can be healthy or not.
Now lets talk about
First of all, Yuri is not
the pure, innocent, little child, that needs to be sheltered from
everything, that you all seem to think he is. We are talking about
the “kid” who wanted to skate to eros, because he thought it
would fit him better. The kid who watched Yuuri and Chris pole
dancing and kept tons of photos of it. The kid who told Mila to stop
acting horny after breaking up with her boyfriend. Most 15/16 years
old boys are not innocent angels… Also, Yuri is actually quite
mature for his age. Yuri moved away from his home to St. Petersburg
when he was around 10 years old. He is the main provider for his
family since his junior debut. Growing up away from home, with this
high responsibilities makes you mature faster. He committed his life
to figure skating. He had the determination and disciplin to win GPF
gold on his senior debut. This level of dedication, endless training,
without complaining, to work towards a goal, is a sign of maturity.
Sure, sometimes he acts childish and on impulse, but so does Victor,
the guy who pauses his career for a year, travels to Japan and
suddenly shows up naked at a hot spring, because of his crush on a
We have seen Otabek and
Yuri both supporting and admiring each other. We see Otabek helping
Yuri to grow. Yuri doesnt act like an angry brat with him. He is much
calmer and happier around him. Kubo even said that Otabek sees them
as equals. There is only a small power imbalance between them. Its
even smaller than between Victor and Yuuri. And since their
relationship is based on mutual respect and support, and Otabek wants
them to be equal, there is not even the slightest hint, why this
relationship would be abusive in any way. To me this looks like the
perfect base for a healthy relationship. So what makes you think that
Otabek would be a predator? What makes you think he would take
advantage of him? Why would he harm Yuri? This is what bothers me the
most about this discourse. By saying this ship would be unhealthy ,
disgusting and bad, you are accusing Otabek of being an abusive
asshole. And this magnificent, loving character does not deserve this
This post is obviously not
meant to say that all relationships with age differences are totally
ok. This is meant to explain, that it is not always automatically
bad. There are many unhealthy relationships where both people are the
same age or where the abuser is the younger one. Age alone is not
what makes a relationship healthy or unhealthy. The mindset of the
individual person is!
It has always been a big trouble for me to understand the mental illness of Reiner. But after these chapters, I am capable of understanding him much better now.
A very broken mother raised him and filled him with her own dream, that if Reiner can become a Warrior, then they’ll live with his father who is hoping for a way to unite with them. And the first burden Reiner started to carry on his shoulders became his mother, and Marley made this weight even heavier for a child to carry, like using children to win a war against another country. But he believes in everything Marley and his mother says, despite everything was all lies. He believed that if he’ll get to choose as a Warrior and punish those evils on that island, he’ll finally have a happy family.
And when the first lie he believed in this much shattered down, we saw him having his first mental breakdown as well.
His father doesn’t want him and her mother. He is not praying for meeting them whatsoever. He thinks they are devils he needs to run away. It is all lies.
He hasn’t even realized a whole time passing, the next time Reiner regains his consciousness, they are about to set off the mainland.
But he still has lies to hold on, that he was chosen by Marley to inherit the Armored Titan, that he’ll be a hero and get rid of those devils on Paradis. But… He finds out that this also is nothing but a lie.
And then he has another breakdown after that realization.
And next time he regains his consciousness again, everything is about to change for him. Once again, we see Marcel getting eaten by Ymir. Once again, Reiner is having a shit day.
And then he starts to run to only lie he has left to believe, that he’ll be the hero to save the world once he punishes those devils on that island.
And once again, a lie he believed in crushes him there.
RBA snick in to the walls they have come to break down and join Military there.
And there, Reiner realizes that these people are not the devils. They are not in fault. It is his fault that they are in pain. On that day, Reiner realizes that the devils living on that island is actually more human than many, even himself. They are not planning to take down Marley, they don’t even understand what is going on. They are innocent. And the final piece of mental health Reiner flies away at that moment.
And Reiner creates a new lie for himself. That he is a loyal soldier and his cause is to protect the Walls and humanity.
I love how Ymir is right after all these time, Chapter 46.
Before these chapters, many of us, including me, thought that Reiner’s soldier personality is based on heroic big brother Marcel. Yes, it was true that Marcel was a big brother but the heroic one was Reiner there. If Marcel and Ymir have something in common, it is that they are both the characters fandom maybe put a little bit too much hope for. Both of them ended up being much simple than we thought they are.
Soldier Reiner was based on Reiner’s lies. Behind the walls, life was so peaceful for child Reiner who never had a chance to have his own dreams and his own interests. So he forgets why he is there, why he is there, and the burden of everything he carried from mainland to Paradis. Forgetting them must have been so peaceful for Reiner.
And the realization must hurt even more.
Chapter title for 95 can’t fit any better for him. And it fits even more, specially after seeing how he keeps lying.
From left to right; Reiner telling Bertl that he is not reliable in Chapter 77, Reiner telling the days he spent at Paradis in Chapter 94, Reiner interrupting Porco and protecting him from accidentally treason in Chapter 95, Reiner telling Falco that he needs to surpass Gabi in Chapter 93.
As he was growing up, he was telling himself the lies he believed in. After years, now he is telling people the lies he doesn’t believe anymore.
He’s the purest form of love. The kind of love that you can only dream of. When you’re best friends, yet also lovers and nothing is expected from either of you. He’s like a sunrise - he always brightens up the dark. Every fear, every insecurity you have, he finds beauty in it and it makes you fall in love with him even more. You look at him knowing that he’s not going anywhere, no matter how often you create scenarios in your head that he will. When he says he loves you, you know that he means it, cause he’d never tell you a lie or say something he doesn’t mean. He’s honest and kind; he makes sure you always know your worth. There is not a single shallow bone in his body. Everything is taken into consideration; all of your feelings and words and doubts, he considers it all. And he knows you better than you think you know yourself - he knows you better than most people, actually. All of these things are what scare you about him. Because even though he’s your person and you’re his, you find yourself thinking that maybe someone else might fit him better than you do; that maybe someone else might give him more breathing room or make him laugh more than you do. Its just fear, that’s all.
Looking over some screencaps from the TV Movie the other day, I started asking myself how the initial confusion over the colour of the Doctor’s coat ever came about. I mean, look; it’s green (though not bottle green as it’s usually described; to me it looks more like a very dark olive green) in almost every light:
Then I remember that this was pre-DVDs and high-res and the costume being on display and that it looks brown
(There are a handful in which it looks green but those weren’t really seen back then)
It’s fascinating (to me, anyway) how one fabric can change colour so dramatically.
Alo! Psh, so, CORAN AND LANCE BONDING MOMENT BC YES. This is like the fourth chapter of Don’t Put Out the Glow fic I have in my Ao3, but yeah! You can read it separetly.
The main point here is that Lance is beated up as hell (that happens in chapter 1) and he’s bed resting and the team takes turn to watch over him and take care of him and this time it was Coran’s turn!!
But like I said, *shrugs* you don’t have to, just know that Lance is emotional and beated up bc of their last mission.
Ps. I have the hc that Alteans’s language was …well greek bc I’m not creative enough to come up with cute nicknames in alien language SO GREEK:
kardiá liontarioú (greek) means lion heart. mikró ílio (also greek) means little sun.
Disclaimer: Voltron doesn’t belong to me.
“And there I was: Alone with only my flubber and my tutter with at least fifty hundred Deditions. It was hopeless for any Altean…except for me! I stared at the eye of Death smugly and attacked without mercy. Victory was so close I could taste it, quite literal because one of the Deditions fell into my mouth, I might add. Time became slow and it was as I was in a hurricane and there was no escape but do you know what I did, my boy?”
“What did you do, Coran?” Lance asks quietly, smiling softly at the Altean as he takes a sip from his cup.
“I beat every single one of those Deditions! It was the most satisfying victory of all, my boy!”
The brunet giggles under his breath. “But, Coran, aren’t Deditions like small puppies?”
“My boy! Their piles of cuddles and big shiny eyes could kill an entire army! No one is able to resist their cuteness!”
“You can survive any outside cuteness when you see this face every day, my boy.” Coran says proudly as he points at his own face and he grins when the brunet laughs gleefully.
“Can’t argue with that logic.”
Coran smiles as he watches Lance chuckle softly. The brunet still has a big bump on his right side of his head, the corner of his lower lip is covered in dried blood and his eye is not as swollen as before but still sensitive and red.
Lance still looks bad but the bright smile on his face tunes out every visible injury and Coran can’t be more grateful with the universe for allowing him to see that smile.
“You know,” He starts after a few minutes in silence, voice gentle and longing, his eyes still looking at Lance fondly, “You remind me of my son.”
Lance’s laughter stops abruptly and then turns his head towards Coran, mouth wide open in surprise and then he’s frowning concern.
“Coran –” He starts, voice small and hesitant but Coran cuts him off by standing from the chair and walking towards the brunet, taking seat on the corner of the bed besides Lance.
“He was a good lad. He had his mother’s hair and eyes but besides that he was a mini me.” Coran chuckles, crossing his right leg across his left one and dropping his elbow on it, resting his chin against his open palm, “His mother used to say that we should have named him Coran Jr; saying that it fitted him better with his wild personality and loud upbeat voice.”
Lance licks his lips nervously and then speaks in small voice, “What was his name?”
“Lyon.” Coran replies calmly, “His name was Lyon.”