fitness dvd

Mars thru the signs 🔥
  • Aries: driven towards everything daring, exiting and adventurous, extremely passionate about pursuit of conquest towards goal, possibly quick tempered, strong fire energy that must be channeled into physical challenge or passionate go-getting, can't sit still, needs new new new energy in their directed energy!
  • Taurus: slow and steady wins the race, may take a LONG ass time to get to where they want to go.. Putting in all of the hard work and gluing the puzzle pieces together so when they actually get there they have strong stability and comfort in their foundation, very sensual physical energy, can be funneled into extremely hard work or extreme laziness, two sides of the coin with Taurus Mars..
  • Gemini: verbal takedown, a ninja of words, goes towards goals and desires on a intellectual level, takes in all energies surrounding and from there strategically goes forth, likely to talk talk talk about the directed energy they have, talking about it helps them create what it is they are going for..
  • Cancer: oh sweet cancer... Above all else needs emotional comfort in putting Mars energy forward, very passive and wishy washy, has trouble putting their foot DOWN on something, very very fiercely passionate about the ones they hold close, would do anything for their friends, puts a lot of directed Mars energy towards nurturing others.. So much so that it can put a halt to self-advocacy.. Very sweet and emotional in the bedroom..
  • Leo: creative in any and all ways, incessant need to share themselves and their identity in how they approach the world, strong on self-advocacy "this is what I want to do and I will do it!" Thinks much of self in the context of pursuit, dramatic physical energy, a need to be the BEST, loves to perform and be center stage within their life, strong connection between having energy to be physical and sunlight, the sun shines through Mars in this placement. Mars loves to be in Leo and many of these people feel Leo very strongly in their life even if it's their only placement in Leo. (My placement hehe)
  • Virgo: extremely analytical in approach to directing energy, will look at all of the finer details and facts, add it- weigh it- equate it all up into a final consensus on what the perfect course of action is, perfection and correct execution is very important to Mars Virgo, needs to do it RIGHT, 100% kinky as fuck in bed oh lord.. Wants to serve and be served if you catch my drift..
  • Libra: emphasis on keeping everything in balance when pursuing something, with that comes a tendency for indecision on which way they want to direct their energy, beautifully creative in their stance (many musicians I know have this placement)Mars Libras physical directed energy is fine tuned to the harmonic melody of Venus, passionate and rhythmic with their directed energy, will come at you with a balanced kind creative energy..
  • Scorpio: the psychic touch! Their physical energy swims in the waters of Scorpio, their touch is metaphysical. Mars loves to be in Scorpio.. These people see something they want, take it inside to the deepest caves of their inner world and they go AT IT with no intention of loosing, they are formidable opponents in battle, a hearth of energy being cultivated and honed in behind the scenes, powerful directed energy that needs to be channeled into something productive, high emphasis on sexuality, passion to conquer and master in themselves what it is they are trying to attain, this energy can be totally transcendent or viciously deceitful..
  • Saggitarius: what is life if we're not havin some fun?! Expansive in the way they approach physical reality, Mars in Sag is the one to overdo it at the party because they are the one having the most fun! Boisterous and bubbling with energy..Will put physical directed energy towards saggitarian pursuits of higher learning, foreign travel, deep encounters, and having fun! Their physical energy is robust.. Likely to be interested in sports or organized energy exchange, feels a deeper purpose and intention when going towards goals, philosophical sentiment is held in their powerful fire approach to life.
  • Capricorn: tempered, controlled, powerful directed energy funneled into goal oriented mindset, a desire to achieve success and competence through directed energy implemented orderly and efficiently, like Virgo they have a desire to do things right but it comes from more of a place needing to feel competent in themselves rather than anylictal need for perfection in life, Mars in Capricorn has the capacity to create great lengths of achievement within their directed energy..
  • Aquarius: these people seek to get their way in the exact way that they would like to do it because in their idealistic mind their way of directing energy is the BEST way, therefore listening and taking others authority or advice comes as a challenge, they seem to challenge status quo in what they are pursuing, Mars in Aquarius will get there the most unconventional and well thought out route ..
  • Pisces: day dreaming their reality to life, they direct their energy through where their intuition guides them, they hold an extremely mystical Neptune energy in the pursuit of life, the way Mars operates in this person will be very ethereal and spiritual, whether they channel that energy into becoming a drug addict, body builder, writer, traveler.. They are going out doing what they are doing for no other reason than the trance state they are in put them there.. You ask Mars in cap "why are you standing here as a successful body builder" "Im here because I was scrawny and thin and wanted to have achievement in my body, I worked hard and now I'm built! check out my new business of fitness DVDs!" Now.. You ask a Pisces Mars the same question and you'd get "I'm here because it feels right to be here, this is my art and this is my life"

Is your weakling life… pathetic? Do you need more motivation to be fit? Are you small weakling like the robot ninja or his brother the archer? Hello, my name is Aleksandra Zaryanova, and for small amount of 3 payments of $29.99 you can get this, the “Big, Buff, and Russian” fitness dvd. It contains all my workout routines such as, lift your wife, chase a boar, fight the boar, wrestle bear, win bar fight, and my personal best, JUMP TO MOON! Order now, supplies are limited.


“My legs were being pulled in all sorts of directions and suddenly there was a huge rip in the crotch of my trousers.” -Ryan Gage

There’s been a bit of controversy about the BBC cashing in with its own Sherlock merchandise, but frankly, I think they’ve been pretty restrained. I’ve therefore come up with a selection of new tie-in product ideas that they’re welcome to use in exchange for a modest consultancy fee (ahem). Having said that, I’m still waiting for the Sherlock Operation game and Mycroft’s fitness DVD to hit the shelves, so we may be hanging on for a while…

The one where he makes you feel insecure (Liam imagine)

Liam loved taking care of his body and working out was something regular for him to do. And lately he was trying to get you into it as well. You had never really been like a sporty girl and it was absolutely not something you liked to do. Although you loved the fact that Liam wanted to have a good body and shape and live healthy, it made you insecure once in a while. When you were watching TV at night, you normally always took a snack together with him. But lately he only grabbed for fruit when that happened. And it made you feel very bad about eating that jar of ice cream. It became a little too much when you came home one day and you noticed Liam left you a little present behind.

I thought this was maybe something good for you to start! – Liam

The note was lying next to a fitness DVD for women. And you instantly felt a wave of insecurity hit you hard. It was very obvious he wanted you to tone it down and start exercising. Although you always hated it. You changed yourself in some more comfortable sport clothes and put on the DVD. You felt the tears sting in your eyes, while looking at the very good shaped woman in front of you, telling you which stupid exercises you had to do. And you did what she said, not able to hold in the couple of tears that were rolling down your cheek. You hated this. You really did. And the thing you probably hated even more was the fact that Liam wanted you to do this and that he apparently didn’t like your body how it was. When you were halfway through the exercises, Liam came home from work. A smile instantly appeared on his face. ‘I bet this makes you feel good, doesn’t it?’ He grinned from ear to ear. And you nodded softly, making short eye contact, before looking back to the screen, trying your hardest to not cry again. ‘I’m happy you want to try it babe… I really am. I’m going to cook us something healthy today as a reward!’ He said while making his way over to the kitchen. And as soon as he left the room, you dropped yourself to the ground in the middle of your exercise. You had no clue how you were going to keep this up.

The meal Liam had cooked was nice, but you didn’t ate everything on your plate. It was the first time Liam gave you a strange look. ‘Aren’t you finishing it?’ His eyes meeting yours, looking surprised. You had a big appetite most of the time, so you guessed he would kind of find it strange for you not to eat everything. ‘No, I’m not very hungry today.’ You muttered while grabbing your plate and taking it to the kitchen. You were still hungry. You were always hungry. But it was not a good idea for you to eat everything you wanted anymore.

You also didn’t grab a late night snack. Even when Liam reached for his fruit, you refused his offer to get you something as well. ‘Are you okay?’ He asked concerned, coming back from the kitchen and sitting himself next to you again. ‘I’m fine!’ You tried to sound as fine as you could, but you never really were a good actor. ‘Just a little tired…’ You added to make it look somewhat more believable. You never met his eyes though. He would know it straight away if you did. Now he just nodded at your words and you felt him staring a couple of seconds longer before he looked back to the TV himself.

‘You are hungry.’ Liam suddenly stated when you were both lying in bed. You had turned your back on him from the moment you laid down, but he didn’t question it. Your stomach gave your hungry feeling away and of course Liam noticed it immediately. You felt his hands turn you over, so you laid with your back on the matrass and he peered over you. ‘Why don’t you eat? You are hungry as hell… Why didn’t you eat your plate?’ His voice was stern now. ‘And no more excuses. Just tell me what’s wrong.’ He knew you too well on that matter. If it wasn’t so unlikely for you not to eat much, he probably wouldn’t even care. But then again, he probably wouldn’t want you to exercise if you didn’t eat much. You hadn’t even responded yet before his eyes changed from worried, to utter shock. ‘Please, don’t tell me it’s because of the DVD. Right?’ You could still hear the hope in his voice for it not to be true, but when you didn’t respond, his jaw dropped. ‘No-’ He breathed out, flickering on the light to take a better look at you. ‘Don’t…’ He started, thinking about every word he wanted to say. ‘Don’t ever think that I’m not completely mesmerized with how you look.’ You felt the tears sting again, when he said the words. ‘No. Baby. Stop. Don’t think like that please.’ He begged you, kissing your lips softly. ‘I wouldn’t want you any other way-… I just thought that it could make you feel good or feel better.’ He explained softly. ‘It was never my intention to make you insecure. You don’t have anything to be insecure about.’ He blurted out. You gave him a little smile, but that was not enough for him. He jumped out of bed, going downstairs, leaving a confused you behind. And just when you wanted to go after him, he already entered the bedroom again. ‘What did you do?’ You asked him, while he crawled into bed again, grabbed your wrist gently and pulled you close to his chest. ‘I ordered pizza.’ He said like it was completely normal to do that at this time. ‘But it’s twelve in the evening?’ You exclaimed, not impressing him by it. ‘Don’t care. You’re hungry, so we’re going to eat pizza. And I’m dying to eat one myself, actually.’ That made you smile and tighten your grip on him. It stayed silent for a while, before he started to speak again. And when you heard his voice, you immediately noticed the still lingering guilt in it. ‘You’re absolutely stunning. And there is no way for you to lose weight.’ He said softly but full of meaning. ‘So don’t ever cut your food down like that again. Okay? Just… don’t.’ His voice sounded firm but also caring and loving in a way, while you felt his hand slowly caressing your back. ‘Okay.’ You assured him. And you suddenly felt stupid for thinking Liam would ever want you to starve yourself in order to lose weight. Liam was always the one complimenting you for how you looked. You did forget that for a second. But you never would again. And Liam would make sure to remind you even more from now.

NOTE: Just want to point out here that you NEVER EVER should starve yourself because a boy told you to do it :-) If someone says that to you, please know that the person is not good for you by any means. Starving yourself is NEVER a solution to anything :-) Just wanted to remind that to the people who might need it. Because I know, it’s something girls do in order to lose weight. But it’s not the way to do it. Never.


Ever wonder what my fitness DVD would look like?…

Made with Instagram

Video Game Shop

Stellenbosch, South Africa

Customer: This Transformers movie doesn’t work. I want to return it.

Me: That’s not a movie, it’s a Nintendo 3DS game.

Customer: It doesn’t even fit in my DVD player!

Me: Well, it wouldn’t, because it’s not a DVD, it’s a 3DS cartridge.

Customer: So how must I watch it? I want my money back.

Me: I’m not refunding you because your game won’t work in your DVD machine.

Customer: *curses* well I’ll just buy movies somewhere else from now on.

Me: Well that’s a good idea ma'am, because we don’t sell movies.

Watch on

Jillian Michaels: 6 Week Six-Pack Abs Workout- Level 1

Jillian Michaels: 6 Week Six-Pack Abs Workout- Level 1 is a fierce fat-blasting abdominal workout that employs a sure-fire combination of core-focused cardio circuits and ab-toning exercises that target multiple muscle groups simultaneously to boost the metabolism, slim the waistline, and chisel rock-hard abs. Forget boring sit-ups and prepare to sweat as America’s toughest trainer, Jillian Michaels takes you through this intense, ab-shredding workout that begins with a dynamic total-body warm-up, followed by 2 complete core-strengthening cardio circuits that will target every area of the abs before finishing up with a soothing, full-body stretch to maximize results. Learn how to shed fat and tone the entire body as you develop strong muscle and ripped definition. Sculpt and strengthen the arms, shoulders, chest, obliques, legs, butt, and back with this highly effective 35 minute workout from Jillian’s “6 Week Six-Pack” Fitness DVD that contains several key moves including lunges, burpees, twists, squats, crunches, supermans, planks, butt lifts, and mountain climbers that are crucial to shaping the sexy six-pack that you have always dreamed of. This workout is great for all skill levels however, beginners may choose to modify it by eliminating the weights. Work out with one of the world’s most famous trainers right from your own living room! Look and feel your best with Jillian as you craft a lean, sexy, and defined body in 6 weeks.