Losing weight is not my main priority right now. I’ve literally just realized this.
There have been times in my life (weeks and months at a time) when my main focus really has been forming new habits to lose weight. And it worked. I think that’s really what you have to do sometimes in order to make progress and really figure this whole thing out.
But I keep getting frustrated because I’m ONLY about TWENTY POUNDS away from my ultimate goal. It shouldn’t be that difficult for me to buckle down and get it done. I want to lose 2 pounds a week like I have in the past.
But you know what? I’ve already lost twenty pounds. In fact, I’ve done it TWICE, actually ALMOST THREE TIMES already. And that’s pretty fucking awesome and it took a lot of work.
So sure. I would like to lose around twenty more pounds and/or lean out by decreasing my body fat percentage.
But I would also like to finally land a full time job that pays well. And I want to finally get an apartment with Jake. And I want to get a puppy. And I want to get married in the next two years.
Those are my priorities right now.
I’m not going to stop running or eating well or drinking enough water, because those things make me feel good and are part of my lifestyle now. And I’m not going to use this as an excuse to go back to old habits I’ve already broken.
But I AM going to stop getting frustrated when I don’t see major changes in my body or my weight. I have other things to focus on right now.
I’m 55+ pounds down and that’s pretty fucking awesome. I’m much better off now, when it comes to my health, than I was a year ago. I’m not going to give up. But I need to recognize that I can’t expect to see steady progress when I’m not making weight loss a big priority.
It feels good to have reached this point in my journey.
Do not stress over your past, it can’t be changed, it should also not be hidden. Focus on now, focus on your goals and plans, aspirations and dreams. Then, one day, you will be able to look at your past with pride that you’ve over come such a time, with grace and with dignity.
Pasts are Pasts, Nothing more Nothing less by Amy Kennedy