Okay I literally cannot get over how perfectly the lyrics of “Baby Blue” fit Jesse and Walt’s relationship at the end of Felina. No one can tell me it’s meant to be interpreted as anything else.
Guess I got what I deserved Kept you waiting there too long, my love All that time without a word
Walt certainly did get what he deserved by finally dying. He kept Jesse waiting at the neo-nazi compound too long. If he’d known what they were doing to him, he would have come back sooner.
Didn’t know you’d think that I’d forget or I’d regret The special love I had for you, my baby blue
The obvious interpretation is that “baby blue” is the meth itself, which it totally is. But if we’re gonna go all literary analysis on this shit, then Jesse is also baby blue. They’re so thematically intertwined. Walt loved them both, and really it’s Jesse that he left, Jesse that he did wrong, Jesse that he wanted by his side, and Jesse that he wants to be okay after he dies. What I’m saying is just replace “Dixie” with “Jesse.”
All the days became so long Did you really think I’d do you wrong? Dixie, when I let you go Thought you’d realize that I would know I would show the special love I had for you, my baby blue
Here I’m just thinking about all the long days Walt spent in New Hampshire, and how in the end, he really did show Jesse the love he had for him. Yes, he did do Jesse wrong, and he did let him go, but I think in the end Walt feels somewhat redeemed after saving him.
What can I do, what can I say? Except I want you by my side How can I show you, show me the way Don’t you know the times I’ve tried?
This bit is fairly self-explanatory, through everything that’s happened, Walt has always proven in the end that he wants Jesse by his side, even in wanting Jesse to be the one to kill him.
Guess that’s all I have to say Except the feeling just grows stronger every day Just one thing before I go Take good care, baby Let me know, let it grow The special love you had for me, my Dixie, dear
This is what I imagine going through Walt’s head as he and Jesse exchange that final poignant look before Jesse gets in the car and drives away. There are no more words between them, they’ve said all they ever could say to each other, the bond between them is unspoken.
Walt knows he’s going to die, and I really think all he wants now is for Jesse to take care of himself and to remember what they had together. Deep down he knows that there was a time Jesse loved him, and I think he wants to believe he was worthy of that love and that for once in his life, he did the right thing.
I’m choosing to feel positive about the boys. If we don’t get them, then it’s the universe telling us it needs us to foster still. And that’s okay. At least we’ll have a vehicle to fit all the babies.
J is out most of the day. After synagogue, he’s going out to a nice lunch with friends. He needs it. The poor guy is getting so beat up at work. He comes home miserable and ready for bed. And he’s usually the happiest person I know. Next week his clients leave and he can have his life back.
I have most of the day with the boys. We’re going to In-N-Out and then Trader Joe’s. I’m pretty excited for both. When J gets home, car shopping. Tomorrow is more car shopping and then a movie date. Woo!
I don’t know what to think about the potential boys. They are wanted by several adoption motivated homes. But I got the unofficial yes before anyone else even responded. We’ll see. Fingers and toes crossed.
Look at the way she is looking at him when they took the throne away from him and tell me she didn’t care… Nothing after S2 between these two makes sense to me. How did she change her mind so quickly from caring to hating him and wanting the throne for herself?!