fit world

Steal My Girl

Song Series!
> Please give me some feedback on this, been debating posting it for like two days. Let me know if you liked it. 

He met Y/n when they were young kids. He knew from the instant that he met her that she was gonna be the most special person in his life. The way her smile could make his day go from shit to kind of okay. She gets to him in ways no one else can. 

She been my queen, Since we were sixteen, We want the same things, We dream the same dreams

“You ready?” She asks walking out of their shared bedroom. 

She’s in a black rock tee shirt, dark blue flare jeans, hair teased and curled, make up done. 

He locks eyes with her for a second and smiles, her returning the favor. 

“Yeah, you look amazing babe.” He places a small kiss on her forehead. 

“Thanks, you look great too.” She says, unbuttoning that top button on his shirt. He tenses at her touch. Goosebumps rising on his skin as if he’s cold, but it’s 80 degrees out. 

They were headed out to a Nick Jonas concert, meeting a few of his buddies there. He got tickets from the label, and they get to go back stage to see him after the show. 

Nick and Shawn are friends, have been since they met through the label. It’s a unspoken agreement to support the others on the label. They’ve worked together for a brief time, when they happened to be in the same place at the same time. 

She’s never gotten to meet Nick, she met Demi a few months back at an award show, but she didn’t get to meet Nick. She’s screaming on the inside, she’s a huge Nick fan. Has been since she was a kid and watched his shows on The Disney Channel. 

She’s trembling with excitement when they are walking to their seats, meeting up with Shawn’s friends and their girlfriends.

“Y/n looks like she is about to pass out.” Mike jokes as the lights start to dim.

“Shut up, I’m the biggest Nick fan.” She says over the bass that starts blaring though the old speakers. The floor starts to shake and the screaming gets louder. The lights are flashing making their senses act up. 

Shawn watches her, watches as she sings along to the songs, dances to the beat, laughs with his friends. She fits into his world, and does everything she can to have his world fit into hers. She’s the most perfect person for him, and he couldn’t be more happy that he has her. 

He knows that he has her support no matter what. She was his before he got famous and she’s still his now that he is. He knows that he has a safe place with him always, as she would always be by his side. 

But he can’t help but feel a twinge of jealously as he watches her smile at the stage. She’s swaying along to the song. He needs her to look at him to remind him that she’s his. Like she reads his mind, turns and looks at him from over her shoulder. 

“Gonna hold me Mendes?” She says, winking. 

He doesn’t need to be told twice, he steps forward and wraps his arms around her from behind. He nuzzles his nose into her hair and inhales deeply. She smells like home, he can’t quite describe her scent other than that it reminds him of the candles his mom used to light when he lived at home. 

She’s leaning back and resting her hands on top of his, his resting on her stomach. She’s still singing along, but now she’s smiling because the words remind her of Shawn. 

Everybody wanna steal my girl, Everybody wanna take her heart away, Couple billion in the whole wide world, Find another one ‘cause she belongs to me

Their backstage now, in a room with a group of people. Mostly people from the record company, and a few other up and coming artists. 

He can’t help but notice how most of the men, dateless or not, watch his girlfriend. How she holds herself, how she smiles, how she laughs, how she wins playing beer pong with a few others.

He’s watching her from across the room as one of the guys from the beer pong game starts to inch his way closer to her. She’s backing up just as much as he’s coming closer, and when he bends down to whisper in her ear she shakes her head no and says clearly,

“I have a boyfriend.” 

Shawn smiles and knows that he doesn’t have to step in because she can hold her own, but for the hell of it he leaves the conversation he was having to go tell this guy to fuck off. 

“Hey.” He says tucking his left arm around Y/n’s waist, extending his right hand out to shake the other guys hand. “I’m Shawn.” He says grinning evilly.

“Zac.” The other guys says, cowering. He shakes Shawn’s hand and tries to hold back his wince when Shawn squeezes to hard. Crushing the bones in Zac’s hand.

“Zac, this is Shawn, my boyfriend.” Y/n says with a small smile on her face. 

“Yeah I got that.” He grumbles rubbing his hand. 

“Maybe you should go find another girl to hit on, this one’s taken.” Shawn says passive aggressively, that way if anyone was watching them it would be seen as a normal conversation. 

Zac nods his head and rushes away from them, shaking out his hand. 

“A bit much don’t you think?” She giggles up at her boyfriend. 

“Think I broke his hand.” Shawn says watching Zac try to open and close his hand repeatedly.

All she does is laugh and hide herself into Shawn’s side. He laughs too and kisses the top of her head. She smiles and then leans up to connect their lips.

Kisses like cream, Her walk is so mean, And every jaw drop, When she’s in those jeans

They pull away and she looks over at the ping pong table.

“Geoff and Mike wanted me to tell you to join us for a game of beer pong.” She says noticing how Mike and Geoff were waiting.

“Okay.” Shawn says smiling. “How about I get you a drink, and meet you there. And try not to get hit on by some random guy on your way over.” He teases. 

“Not my fault.”

“True, you can’t help how beautiful you are.”

“Cheesy.” She laughs pushing his shoulder towards the bar. 

She walks away, hips swaying. He can’t help but just stare at her, well him and every guy she walks by. The others just gawk at her ass, while Shawn smirks knowing that that ass they were looking at was his. Chuckling at the fact that he bought her those jeans because he knew they would make her ass look great. 

He goes up to the bartender and orders drinks for his group, returning to them cheering as he hands the drinks over. 

They play a few games of beer pong and Shawn just watches as she beats his ass. She’s on the other team and with the rate that their playing, he’ll be drunk before the game is even over. 

But the lights dim. and her smile glows. The sun is setting behind her and her eyes have this sparkle that twinkle when she looks over at him telling him to 

“Drink bitch.” 

He laughs and does as told. Winking at her blushing face over the rim of the Solo cup.

I don’t exist, If I don’t have her, The sun doesn’t shine, The world doesn’t turn

Her hair framing her face, the way her face lights up when she smiles. He swears he could write a thousand songs about her. About her eyes, about her smile, about her lips. Those sweet lips that are colliding with his.

The soft moan that escapes her mouth as he pulls her a little closer.

“Ready to go home?” She whispers.

“You didn’t even really meet Nick.” Shawn says looking around.

“Why do I need a Nick Jonas when I have a Shawn Mendes to take me home?” She quirks an eyebrow. Shawn smirks and kisses her again. Harder this time.

It’s him moaning softly when she pulls away. He let’s his hand slide down to the globe of her ass, squeezing lightly.

“Gonna take me home Mendes, or do I need to find Zac.” She teases starting to move from his hold. 

“Come here.” He says pulling her back, making her collide into his chest. 

She’s laughing, trying to contain her giggles, but the alcohol in her system is making her feel light and happy. 

Shawn takes her hand, leading her out of the room, towards the car they ordered. He would love to take her out for a midnight drive, but they’ve been drinking and she just wants to go home. 

Everybody wanna steal my girl, Everybody wanna take her heart away, Couple billion in the whole wide world, Find another one 'cause she belongs to me

Her make up is gone. Her hair is in a messy bun, her glasses are sliding down her nose, and her lips are sealed to her coffee mug. She’s wearing his ‘Take Me Home’ shirt with her PINK booty shorts. Her bare feet are cold as they stand on the freezing hardwood. The tattoo on her ankle on full display. 

She’s humming a Nick song, one that had been stuck in her head from the concert they saw earlier. Her hips are swaying a bit as Shawn watches her from the living room. 

She shows no trace of sitting in the VIP section at a Nick Jonas concert. No trace of meeting Nick Jonas. No trace of partying with some of the biggest names in the music industry. 

She’s just Y/n. 

She’s just Shawn’s Y/n.

He loves that he gets this part of her. No one get’s to see when she’s tipsy and trying to sober up a bit so she won’t have a hangover in the morning. No one gets to see her purple glasses, or her face free from any trace of make up. 

She’s just his girl. Relaxed and free. 

He can’t help to think that over the billion people in the world, he wouldn’t rather have anyone else sleep next to him every night, have anyone else to wake up next to. He just wants her. 

Either explain it or don’t.

When authors include things that don’t fit within the real world–magic, time travel, anachronisms–there is an impulse to explain how it works. Which can be fantastic for worldbuilding, but if you don’t know what you’re talking about, it can make more problems than it solves.

Stephenie Meyer tried to explain some bizarre thing about chromosomes, and it made the biology of vampires and werewolves make no sense. Suspending disbelief worked better in that case before she tried to ground it in the real world.

Lemony Snicket, on the other hand, just has random anachronisms that are never explained, but because there’s nothing even close to resembling an attempt at an explanation, we can just shrug and go, okay, that’s how it works. The magic in Harry Potter seems to basically not be grounded in anything, but we can believe it within the context of the story because she doesn’t try to ground it in anything.

In Jim Butcher’s Codex Alera, on the other hand, he goes into a lot of magic theory, and it gives us a strong feeling of worldbuilding. There’s enough logically coherent explanation for it to feel grounded within itself.

It is possible to go too far (see: Orson Scott Card’s Xenocide and Children of the Mind) where the plot ends up so tied in the reader understanding intricately detailed scientific and pseudo-scientific minutiae that the story is incomprehensible without it.

Generally, though, if you’re going to make something up, either say it exists and leave it at that, or entirely figure out how it works. Halfway is always less believable than nothing at all.

4

Am I still thinking about that one AU? Yes, definitely

tips for writing Star Wars fanfic/Star Wars roleplay things

  • it’s not concrete; it’s duracrete
  • viewports are the windows on ships
  • not a plane; ship or speeder
  • it’s not steel; it’s durasteel
  • books are rare; holorecords or datapads
  • it’s not a glass pane it’s transparisteel
  • caf is the equivalent of coffee
  • it’s not paper it’s a flimsi
  • medcenter is a hospital

Star Wars can be very similar to things we’re already used to, but getting familiar with some of these terms can make your writing really fit in with the universe

3

For this to work Neil should both be a little shit and have exy balls with him at all times, so it seems pretty reasonable to me

Based on this

Also imagine Nicky shouting “Kinky!” in the bg for extra nonsense

6

What can a female character do without being criticized mercilessly? [insp.]

It Takes A Long Time To Get Over Yourself


Oh, man. This letter has taken me an embarrassingly long time to write. Probably because I haven’t written anything but e-mails and Tweets for 12 years.

If the last year has taught me anything, it’s this: it takes a long time to get over yourself.

Last March, after 7 years on the road, I decided to take a break. I was excited about this. I’d imagined myself watching tv all day, being a “chill person”, eating doughnuts because I didn’t have to wear latex catsuits anymore. The reality was not quite the joy ride I’d been expecting.

I’ve been an artist for over a decade but up until this year, I hadn’t realised how much my sense of self had been defined by my role as an artist. I’d never thought of “Marina and the Diamonds” as a persona or a construct, and I didn’t think the stage-me was very different to the sofa-me. MATD was an exciting vehicle that helped me express ideas and thoughts to people. But just as people construct online personas, artist construct visual ones, and over time, the lines between art and reality can drift apart. 

I can’t remember when I first became conscious of it but I started to feel like there were two parts of me, artist self and private self, and there was nothing in between to link the two anymore. I was one or the other, and neither part of my personality could be present in the same environment. Perhaps because I’d spent most of the past 8 years devoted to being an artist and this hadn’t presented many opportunities for other parts of my personality to grow. When one part of a personality dominates, other parts shrink and life can take on an unreal, two-dimensional quality. I felt confused as to why I no longer felt like I fit into the world I’d built. I don’t think my feelings are exceptional (particularly in entertainment) but I wonder if you are someone who has experienced this in a different context.

I’ve always been interested in identity. In my twenties, I felt frustrated by how regularly my identity seemed to shift and change until I began to consider the idea that a fixed self may not exist. I explored this in “Electra Heart” by deconstructing aspects of female identity in a portrayal of female archetypes. However, the past year has made me re-examine this idea. Not being able to equate my identity to a job, project or visible entity has created a lot of discomfort and uncertainty in me. Which has been a surprise, as I thought I felt secure in myself. How can I be so sure of who I am if I am so susceptible to change? A lot of what contributes to our idea of identity is down to pure chance - ethnicity, social class, upbringing, religion, job, relationships - who are we without those influences?

Everything in western culture feels so geared towards self-definition, but I wonder if having a looser idea of yourself could make life richer. The past year hasn’t been full of rainbows - I feel like my brain has been brutally rewired - but letting go of a perceived idea of myself has resulted in a new kind of personal freedom. My image is no longer a main source of identity, nor are previous signifiers like clothing (more on this in a future post), designer brands + other things I subconsciously used to define myself.

Lasting change rarely happens over night. This past year has been painful and slow. But I’m in a more genuine space than I was a year ago and I would never want to go back to that stunted way of being again. In fact, the only solace I had in this period was being able to read the books and blogs of other people experiencing significant life transitions, so I hope this might be of help to anyone who is going through a similar stage.

Truth is, I’m not planning ahead much right now. I am indeed going through my “what should I do with the rest of my life” phase that most people go through at 21. Which is… cool. But I’m grateful to have the opportunity to explore different interests, and starting marinabook is a part of that. I’m starting a Psychology course soon, which I am SO excited about, and I’m ready for a brand new chapter. I hope you’ll be a part of it.

Some people have been asking about new music and I’m always flattered to be asked. I know one year is like an aeon in digital time! The honest answer is I don’t know when that will be, but the connection I have with music has always flowered from an honest connection with myself, and I trust my instincts. Whenever I get back on stage again, I would love to feel like I am the sum of my parts, not the sum of a persona or an image. That’s the goal. A lot of reality with a little bit of fantasy. So, marinabook is a way for us to stay connected while I work that out.

I miss you all!

Ask a question or share thoughts here.

Love from,
Marina

Further Reading

Brilliant explanation of personas here. 5 minute read.

Podcast on how our views about the Self affect our views on death.  By “Philosophy Bites”.  15 minutes.

Illustration by Lan Truong

9

Some particulars from my snapchat, chronicling the EPIC FUCKING DND GAME OF TONIGHT

Including this boss-ass diorama that @edwardinkhands, aka the world’s best DM, created, and the MOST TRAGICAL END TO A DRAGON-DAD, EVER.

RIP, Thaddeus, my (character’s) step-daddeus, aka Markender the Traitor, aka the meddler of the realm, aka the best foster-dragon-dad to both dragon and dad, ever in the realm of ebberon.

You’ll be missed, pops!